Obviously, I know that there’s several reasons why it happens, but it just feels so dehumanizing... a blow to the ego/self esteem for sure. Especially after having some fulfilling sessions.
How do you deal with that?
Just accept the fact unfortunately you'll probably never know why. Take the L and move on. Honestly that's about all you can do.
Are you sure you’re ghosted and the person just isn’t busy and no time to reply? It happens.
I hate when my day job makes me to busy to allow me to respond promptly. I work then sleep when I run long days. I don’t mean it to be a lack of interest.
Just stating in my case this is why I may not respond promptly.
Maybe think that your times with them, helped them in their life's journey, like a bird flying the nest. Your arrangement never ends, while either of you remembers the other.
Even as a pro cuddler, I get ghosted frequently. I’m sure I deal with it like everyone else. I feel a twinge of hurt and then move on
I don’t ever ghost anyone. If someone ghosts you, they probably don’t respect you, so you are better off without them.
Either that or they are busy or on vacation. Could be dead, too, but not as likely.
lerato, have you reached out to the person who ghosted you and tried to find out what is going on? Have you tried to communicate with them? Are they a Pro or enthusiast? Do you have any idea why they might have ghosted you, if they have?
When ghosted...call Ghostbusters 😱.
Or you could do an Internet search: "why did she ghost me...?" In theory, there are reasons, but mostly out of one's control, so therefore that leads to the next piece of advice...
As Garth Algar once told to Wayne's ex-girlfriend: "Get over it and go out with somebody else." (Adjust to cuddling, of course).
@calineur That's the way you do it. Ghost ME, willya? LIGHT EM UP!
To tell you the truth I don’t think I handle it well. I email and don’t get responses. I see they log in frequently without any courtesy why the ghost treatment. At least I say, “Let me get back to you. I want to give you good attention but at this moment I can’t. Can you give me a couple of days?”
It reminds me of the lyrics of my favorite progressive rock bans Steven Wilson.
“ When the world doesn't want you
It will never tell you why
You can shut the door but you can’t ignore
The crawl of your decline”
@Riverside77 I sympathize with you. I recently began to investigate the reasons why we do what we do, and it was rather eye-opening. My thinking and behavior have changed a lot since. One interesting concept carried the title: The art of not giving a [damn].
One other thing to consider: if she has a mailbox full of messages, she may skim through them to select the preferred ones and possibly never read or consider ours.
There's tons of reason's you might get ghosted and some might just be that one of you just got really busy. Life is like that. Everyone gets ghosted once in a while and there's a lot of different reason's it could happen. I've been guilty of ghosting but it's almost just always because I'm a busy person and just assume the same if I'm on the other side. It can come of as rude and sting if you overthink it so best to just shake it off. Don't take it personally.
I... don't typically notice.
See, I have such a bad sense of time that if you get back to me in three years it'll feel about the same to me as you responding to me the very same day.
@lerato910 It's hard to accept this obvious sign that you aren't important and perhaps never were. All you can do is move on and set appropriate expectations next time.
If you worry about someone you really do not know and have never met ghosting you, then the problem is looking at you in the mirror. It is your ego. What they did is the modern day equivalent of chatting someone up in a pub but getting shot down or feeling the tension become so strained and awkward that one of the people kills the conversation. What didn’t work? Who knows? Your life didn’t change yet you feel like you are owed an explanation by them of their reason and motivation as to why. In reality, you are owed nothing and if ego is set aside and you ponder it, they did you a favor. They aborted something they felt had a defect in it. And it might not have anything to do with you.
Your last posts reads as if you missed the fact there were a few fulfilling sessions prior to the ghosting, that or your modern day analogy needs work.
Oh no, a man is having a feeling again! Let's analyze, diagnose and fix him! Or give him a nice talking to with undertones of "stupid you!"
It's actually human to connect with someone and to feel something when they leave and don't communicate.
PS If you can cuddle with me a few times and have no feelings if I ghost you (which I won't do), please don't contact me to cuddle. I like my cuddle partners alive, kicking and human.
Me personally, am not the type who talks to folks all the time, Many of my best friends and i communicate pretty infrequently. However when first getting to know someone there is sometimes the phenomenon of yay, this is new, lets talk all the time while we are in the getting to know each other phase! It is exciting when you connect with someone and are growing a friendship/relationship with them, However it is not easy to keep up that level of involvement, so it often tapers down to checking in every once in a while. I dont see that as ghosting, just is the way that things evolve sometimes.
@littermate I don't think anyone is saying stupid you or trying to fix his problem.
I think @littermate is mostly correct
I edited my previous response because it wasn't very helpful and the preceding comments already say about everything that can be said. Suffice it to say you are not alone. I've been ghosted twice in the past couple of weeks.
I hope to be ghosted by the Inland Revenue / IRS.
Don’t trust people and be slower to feel attachment towards them. That’s what I try to do anyway, although I don’t typically achieve it. Out of all the people you’ll meet who you seem to form a connection with, only a small percentage will both give a shit about you and also be able and willing to communicate effectively.
I was ghosted for a week, after 6 sessions and daily texts. Got 2 standard reasons plus the real one.
We agreed to revisit boundaries but I was then ghosted again. Total silence for about 2 weeks.
Some people are busy with life, some tend just not to respond. Open and honest communication is key for neat cuddling experience .
How do you deal with it? 😂
I dont know if anyone else notices this, but i have noticed this trend on these forums, someone will post a thread like this about a certain topic like ghosting and then the original poster disappears themselves, never to answer any questions or respond to anything brought up in the thread, its like they are doing the same behavior they see in others. I find that ironic. Do any of you find that ironic too?
Eh, I've been ghosted a few times. It stings in just that moment I realize that I've been ghosted but it doesn't bother me much. What's done is done, there's nothing I can do about it, and dwelling on it won't help me or bring them back. I move on and find other cuddle partners.
Is it ghosting though or is it just that the other person doesnt communicate as often you would like them to? Some people get a little jumpy and catastrophize things, and might think they are being ghosted when in reality the other person just doesnt have the same need for contact.
@pmvines sort of the same emotional consequences either way. If every time I text you, it takes you 3 weeks to text back, I’m receiving pretty much the same message as ghosting.