So I found this site last year, and thought, brilliant!! What a great resource!
I’ve since reached out to pretty much everyone within about 100 miles of me and to date, I have had no connection with any fellow cuddlers.
I’m quite reflective so I’ve tried various styles of opening message. My photo is recent and unfiltered.
Anyone got any pointers for me on how better to connect in this community?
With cake usually.
I'm sorry I don't have anything to offer. For the sake of solidarity I'll let you know that my experience has been similar. Lots of reaching out, some good conversation, and eventually ghosting. I've yet to cuddle with anyone. I've read about many similar experiences on this site.
Que sera sera. Good luck, my friend.
Are they all pros or non-pros that you've reached out to? Or maybe a mix of both?
I have had about the same results, sent out 10 replies, lucky to get 1 rely back. I have had a few Pro's reply back, but none from the non-Pro's.
I take mine with freshly ground peppercorn, helps with aBsorption. When it’s particularly harsh, charcoal, it helps with aDsorption.
But my guy, this is how it tends to go for most men on here. Toughens you up i guess. The nature of the beast, patience and perseverance.
It takes awhile if ur reaching out to Non Pros. Ask them questions more about themselves and what they are looking for. Good luck and Happy Cuddleing!!
Hi there, just have a few questions to see if I can pinpoint the issue.
1: What's your initial greeting?
2: Do you go right into the request for cuddling or do you try to strike up a GENUINE conversation first.
3: Do you mention loneliness, need, desire, or any kind of desperation in your initial contact or are you more conversational and friendly.
Speaking as an Enthusiast who makes it a point to respond to ALL inquiries ( even the ones I know immediately that I have no interest in ), I've noticed that a lot of men feel that just because a woman is on a Cuddle Site, that that removes the need for conversation and getting to know her.
No woman is going to respond YES to a request for a cuddle session with some complete stranger just because he inboxed her out of the blue ( unless she's charging for it.) I don't want to assume that this is your issue, but if your first inquiry is a little too " appointment- focused", try going a little softer, being more conversational, and showing an interest in getting a feel for her as a person.
For me, it makes a huge difference in my responding with an immediate (respectful) rejection, and my considering him as a potential cuddler.
Hope this helps, and I wish you better luck!
I think it is difficult. I was told this by someone early on, that, get some cuddling in with the Pros and get Karma. I only have a few, but it has seemed to open the door a little more.
@Brynn -- these are all good tips, but from someone who has also tried various photos, no photo, and various versions of profiles and greetings, none of those changed anything.
I never mention cuddling or an appointment or am assertive in any way whatsoever. Typically my greeting is as simple as, "Hello! I hope this finds you having a lovely day. I, too, enjoy left-handed pumpkin tossing [or something else that shows I can read a profile], and would welcome the chance to chat sometime. Best wishes on your journeys here!" -- or similar.
If it's not a pro, the most I've ever gotten is "Thanks!" -- and nothing again.
Of course, it's also true that no photo will change the reality of my appearance, and I understand that. So, it's pros when I can afford it, since they typically do reply.
Yes, this has all been discussed here before, ad nauseam...but the electrons needed dusting :-)
@LucasJZ In my review of your profile I see nothing that would warrant anything but a friendly hello back, so who the heck knows why the folks in your 100 mile radius aren't responding. If you were local to me (or even not) and you messaged me, I'd respond. There's a data point for you. Great picture by the way.
Oh, and I think it does help to have some karma from women who have survived a cuddle with you and lived to tell about it. That goes for every guy on here. It helps.
Pinot Noir might be a fine pairing.
Not easy. We live in a very fast pace, cynical society. A lot of people would rather be negative toward each other than to offer a hug or a platonic cuddle.
@Myrddyn , I hear you.
Naturally, I don't have the answers to why all women don't respond - I'm just throwing out some possibilities and issues that I personally have run into. He has a great pic and his profile looks decent as well so I'm thinking out of the box here .
BTW YOU have an awesome Profile Pic as well.
Personally, as a woman I like to think that someone wants to get to know ME, not that they're just hedging their bets by sending every likely looking person a message. Sort of feel like that's the platonic cuddle version of 'any hole's a goal' ! 😳
I also wouldn't be thrilled with anyone who just sent a 'are you free for a cuddle tonight' style message without trying to chat to me first- when you cuddle someone (especially as a woman) you're making yourself vulnerable in front of that person and exposing the innocent side of yourself that needs to be cared for and nurtured so you of course want to make sure that you have a rapport with someone before you get into the 'cuddle zone'.
@BuggleBear "Personally, as a woman I like to think that someone wants to get to know ME, not that they're just hedging their bets by sending every likely looking person a message."
One hears this in dating also. Women complain that men approach/message/hit on lots of women, and women wonder why men don't just focus on one woman they're really interested in. The problem is, women's choosiness makes this impossible. If I'm rejected out of hand by 9/10 women I talk to (or, on this site, more like 100% of women), I'm going to learn real quick to either give up or talk to lots and lots of women.
Some people, of both genders, only want the act of cuddling ; and any sort of social / conversation / rapport is a "relationship", that they have specifically come to CC to avoid.
@LucasJZ - welcome and commiserations for being a man on this site. The odds are unfortunately stacked against us. Keep trying and good luck.
@SimilarGamma if you don't understand why women are 'choosy' when it comes to arranging to meet strangers from the Internet and why they'd prefer to talk first, then it's a good job you don't have to consider that, as a male.
@geoff1000 I like both aspects, that's why I mentioned it. It's an inaccurate assumption that women don't want the friendship side.
Thanks to all contributors! As you can imagine from my original post, I had not expected much in the way of response.
Few clarifications then:
I don’t just reach out to women, I reach out to men, also. Platonic cuddles for me are not gender specific. Sorry if that shocks anyone.
@geoff1000 nailed something for me. I did come here looking for cuddles, not a relationship.
Thank you to all the ladies who clarified that’s probably where my expectation has really mismatched. I’ve cuddles with people whose name I don’t even know and never exchanged a word and it’s felt amazing. In the Untied States they have group cuddle sessions with clear ground rules, and these can be amazing, too.
I’m going to consider all the above and figure out what’s useful going forwards. Can’t thank you enough for taking the time to share. Especially if it’s an age old theme.
I’m new here and as a woman and an off shift worker it’s very hard to find someone to cuddle. I have responded to all my mails (except those that are inappropriate) and have been brushed off a few times just because I said communication is important. I’m not driving to some strangers house or a bar I don’t know. All the guys expect me to go to their city or house or bar not a familiar area for me or neutral place where I know. You see all these shows and hear on news about internet killers and rapists so yes being careful and wanting to meet on familiar ground in public is important.
The point is if you send mails that want to cuddle right of way or seem aggressive and you don’t want to talk just “get to cuddling” it’s off putting.
Tbh, a big thing for me is distance. I see alot of people's profiles who I think we would hit it off or I get messaged by people and they're 50 miles away. That's too far for me. So I see no point in messaging a person first or leading a person on if the distance would be too much for me.
@BuggleBear Im dying 😭🤣🤣🤣 “any hole's a goal'” & agree with you!
How about "Any hold's a goal" ?
@geoff1000 amazing. 🤣🤣🤣
I think a lot of the Pros signed up thinking this could be great money. Then all of sudden someone sends a request and they freak out about it. I can’t blame them. But if that’s the case delete your profile. You can’t sign up as a pro and complain that the request are for immediate sessions. You put yourself up for money. Pay me this and we will meet. The non pro woman on here are usually guys with fake profiles. Why would they do it for free if they see the others charging. Think about it.
Are you reaching out to professional cuddlers or non-professional cuddlers? As a professional cuddler, I respond to every message, and I’ve only turned down one request and that was because As a professional cuddler, I respond to every message, and I’ve only turned down one request and that was because Our conversation led me to believe they wanted more than a platonic cuddle
Good luck, @LucasJZ !!
Thanks! I had not considered the possibility of An element of cat-fishing.
I have, since this thread, struck up a lovely conversation with a beautiful soul who is on another continent, and was so non-judgemental and thoughtful that we’re going to try talking and listening. my day job which I love is a listening one, so with a non judgemental soul, it’s a gift I am happy to offer. Really looking forward to getting to know someone.
Might never have happened without your education on this thread, so thanks again, everyone. It’s been really helpful. I hope I can pay the kindness forward in some way.
^^^ Now THAT'S a happy ending I can go to sleep on.
All the best, @LucasJZ !
Man, I felt like I was reading a series and the ending was worth it!
May you find a cuddle buddy in person one day soon @LucasJZ !!! Cheers to a hopeful (near) cuddle future!
@Sabastian2 that's a sweeping generalisation. I'm a female non pro, does thay make me a fake?
I am not a pro because I am new to this, and don't know if I have the full range of cuddle positions/cuddle skills, I don't have the time to commit to having this as a job, I don't want to do something because I have to out of duty, because it's my job, I want to cuddle people I have a friendly connection with, and because I don't want to cuddle just because someone else says 'can we cuddle' because sometimes I don't feel like it. Yeah....that totally makes me a 'fake' 🙄