Missing travel and family, but making the most of it with a plethora of gardening, crafting, writing/reading ect.
Day 11 for me on staying home and isolating. 🌏🌿💗🙃
I've been going to work everyday ... I can't really isolate there lol
Still working. Aside from that, doing a whole lot of nothing. That wasn't all so terrible last week, I'm a pro level introvert, but this week the cabin fever is starting to set in. Stay safe all-
A lot of my co-workers are currently working from home, but I'm still going into the office. Our stores occasionally have hard drive issues in the registers, so someone has to be in the office to ship out replacements.
Biancalovecraft~ I feel you on that one. My mom passed, two years ago. I don't know the details of your missing, but I can tell you what's comforted me. The part of her that loved me, cared for me, straightened my @ss out when I messed up, and was proud of me when I was the best I could be, WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME.. and Love never dies!
My friend made me understand that we, as women, can still comfort one another, when the plain warmth of a safe, genuinely caring holding session is needed. I was grateful I got to "hold the space" for her, as she cried. She was missing her mom, too.
I guess what I'm saying is that, although NO ONE COULD EVER REPLACE your Mom, there ARE people who can, and will, hold you until you can regain your bearings. There are people who will show you entirely new ways of relating, that bring out parts of you that you may never have experienced--even with your Mom! And that's as it should be. That's why there's an adage that tells us that it takes the input of an entire village of experiences to raise up a soul (paraphrase).
When this current situation blows over, be sure to ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at finding that there are many, many "surrogate-mamas," out here, who'll smother you with care... and who will remind you that there can still be good in Life!
Be kind to yourself, BL.
Imajen
@ImajenMoon thanks so much for your thoughtful message, and I'm sorry for your loss. My mother is alive, and just an hour up the coast, but I'm being hyper-vigilant with self isolation, as I travelled at the beginning of the month, and just don't trust this bug, the system, and definitely not the current leadership.
I also feel really anxious about my city holding up to this, and society breaking down. It's hard to live here, there's an enormous homelessness crisis, and a huge portion of the population has lost all income with no recourse. They also released 1700 inmates a few days ago -into this atmosphere! It's dark times.
So in addition to the isolation, I'm feeling vulnerable and apprehensive about law holding up. I just refuse to be the person who got their parents dangerously ill because I couldn't handle some loneliness and uncertainty.
@biancalovecraft ~ Thanks for that good news! I feel you on how scary things seem, right through, now, but I applaud you in your courageous caring for your precious folks. I hope this blows over, soon, and that you surprise yourself with how much difference you've made in your world, in the process! Your mom must be proud of you! Imajen
The above was the short version... Here's what I really wanted to say! BiancaLoves~ Thank you for that awesomely good news! I was relieved to hear that it wasn't due to a loss that you missed her, but to your own vigilant care for her well-being! Beautiful Daughter...I KNOW she's proud of you! I certainly would be! You seem to have a pretty clear-sighted view of just how dire things are, right now. There is, definitely, a breaking down of old structures going on. It's easy to give in to the sense of fear, of hopelessness and even powerlessness that the media tries to instill in us to make us more docile. BUT-- In this time of change, maybe you're being asked to grow out of your old sense of what's normal, to put aside your fears, and to stand on the ground of YOUR RIGHT TO BE HERE. We are going to have to drop the old divisions---this virus certainly doesn't seem to give a damn what race or group we belong to-- and come together. Homelessness, prisoners being released, a medical establishment that only treats--instead of cures--disease, a government that makes it more lucrative to send jobs overseas...in a way, can we admit that at least SOME of this needs to be broken down and swept away? Truly, these are, as you say, dark times, but there's also much opportunity to put new systems into place! Where ever you can, instead of fear, seek to serve. You are a powerful Spirit in a body, and what you believe--yes, YOU--DOES MATTER. Can you imagine that, just maybe, a corrupt judicial system sent people to jail for profit? Maybe it's they who are finally being released. Can you believe that a corrupt banking system denied hard-working, bill-paying families mortgages for homes? Maybe the homeless people aren't as terrible as the media makes them out to be. Each situation that you find yourself in will be different, but more than you know will depend on how much you are able to set aside your preconceived notions and deal with the situation at hand. Forgive me for clobbering you with all of this!!! lol It's just that your heartfelt Daughter's prayer touched my Woman/Mother's heart. Have you noticed how we, as women, are being called upon, once more, to rise up and speak for the weak? We're being called upon to restore balance to this VERY IMBALANCED MASCULINE SYSTEM? Look up "Divine Feminine Rising," please. You are connected to Something far bigger, far greater, than you have yet imagined. You are not here, at this time, in the place where you are, by accident, either.. Even though you miss your precious Mom, you're still required to stand, in this time, on the two feet you have. I think you just might surprise yourself...but probably not your mom. She knows who you are! I hope you find that out, too! Imajen
Well, a lot of you are more well adjusted than me, lol. Over the past three years, I've gone from soul crushing corporate job to sabbatical, to starting my business, to living the nomadic lifestyle. I loved my life and had it all figured out to live my life free and happy. This has completely shut down everything that is normal for me. I can't work, can't cuddle, can't travel, and I'm basically stuck parked at my parents place, which is appreciated that I have it, but with our unhealthy, inconsistent, volatile relationship, I feel more isolated and alone than if I could just park in a field somewhere. The idea of this lasting for months basically puts me in a panic on occasion. My whole childhood I felt alone, invisible, and hopeless, and I couldn't escape. This is like going back to that world. It's a literal nightmare. I have good days and bad days, but this just fricking sucks. I'm jealous of all the people who have a loving family to quarantine with and enjoy some quality time with, but I'm glad to hear of people enjoying and appreciating having that. 😊 Too many people in that situation are still complaining. 🤷
Not everyone is in isolation with family. Many people are in isolation completely alone which is pretty scary. I haven't seen or touched or spoken to any person (in persn) in over 3 weeks
Absolutely zero change...
@ubergigglefritz my heart wept as I read your post. I experienced some of what you shared: constant major adjustment. Adjustment that you made comfortably and effortlessly when you felt in control.
With the shut down associated with COVID you feel as if a rug has been pulled from underneath you. So you no longer feel that control.
You value and appreciate having your parents place as an alternative resource to supplement your need for accommodation in these challenging times. Yet feel somewhat resentful of the discomfort of adjusting to being in their space. You feel overwhelmed as you seek to create your own sense of inner comfort in what you experience as an unhealthy, inconsistent relationship with them. Did I get that right?
My heart weeps as that's how I felt when I walked away from an unhealthy marital relationship. I made choices that had me working 24/7 for years after I walked away. That brought on medical conditions and life situations that almost cost me my life. That permanently damaged the relationship with my children. And has kept my isolated from my first family for years.
Even as I am on the mending side of this stream I'm still at work in progress.
So I truly appreciate your post.
Please hang in there. Stay safe and stay healthy.
I am considered an essential employee at my full time job and my part time food delivery jobs. My full time job is in training right now for a call center where we are learning to ship out life saving meds for cancer HIV and transplant patients.
I am still able to go to work but they have had to sanitize our building and so far only 1 person has tested positive for Covid 19 but they have been gone for 2 weeks. Hopefully they will be well soon.
I am still able to go to work and interact with my coworkers. I am able to do a no contact delivery of food. I leave it at the door and text them that their food is there. I wait until I see them pop out and get it before moving on.
Dating has been a hoot too. I met someone on a dating app and we have been talking on the phone. It was weird thinking of how when we meet this Weds in person we have to socially distance. We are going to meet at a park and maybe we will wave to each other from different benches lol
Social distancing just made me realize how shallow and superficial some people allow themselves to be.
Words are just tools people use to communicate. Communication is just a thorny process one has to deal with as a necessary requirement to get what one wants.
It just reminds me of the real normal in this life: you're only as real as someone wants you. You only exist when someone needs you. Your message is only answerable as you are needed or desired.
Your picture is only as valid as you are perceived. If the perceived mental image of you is not validated by your picture you're as good as trash: disposable and worthless.
Every conversation is only as good as the need for the next one. That need is triggered or sustained by someone's desire or need. That desire or need is as fleeting and fragile as leaves on a tree.
Investment of time and effort mean absolutely nothing. It's one's mental image and perception that counts. That drives any potential continued conversation or contact. After all since nobody owes anybody anything it's perfectly okay to stop talking to someone after 6-12 months of back and forth conversations. Hours and hours of ideation of thoughts and shared experiences. None of that matters once the perceived mental image of what someone looks like fails to match what is actual in a picture. Again you're as good as trash. Garbage , non biodegradable, non recyclable to the beholding eye.
Then you ask the question: why bother?
And eventually you just don't.
Especially now. COVID justifies just not bothering to put anymore thought , time nor effort in communicating with anyone especially for that or any length of time. It's just not worth it's cost to the human dignity.
Even as nobody owes anybody anything. Especially because we're nothing but utilities to each other: usable, disposable.
Yet still accountable to oneself and oneself only.
@Bles Um... methinks some ghosting happened?
@StoryDoctor1138 the insight matters just as much as the experiences behind it. The experiences are often multifaceted and fluid. No one specific experience counts as a reflective trigger. Rather a range of many different kinds on a spectrum overall.
The thing is social distancing allows one to step outside of one's ego and truly observe from different lens without the desire or need to anticipate any social interaction. Since there's currently no opportunity for any.
That's where my thoughts were coming from in that post.
But I can see where your interpretation came from considering the strong sentiments expressed.
Thanks for your observation and humor.
I haven’t been affected much personally aside from a few inconveniences. I read things on this site and another site totally unrelated to this site and what has occurred to me is that I am reading posts and comments that are First World problems. What is about to happen to Africa, India and Central and South America will be a human tragedy on an unprecedented scale. Cuddling as we know it here on CC in many of these impoverished nations is something that is unimaginable. I assume many of the unfortunates would be incredulous at what we find a struggle as many of them are already just trying to survive on a day-to-day basis. As a result, I have become involved with Doctors Without Borders and that has really opened my eyes. There will be people in many of these countries drowning in their own fluids as their lungs fill up and there will be no ventilators or even much in the way of sedatives. I read that and a shortage of toilet paper or the temporary loss of income are paltry concerns.
Maybe human tragedy is necessary in those parts of the world to bring about the mindset change in the vision and leadership of those countries.
There are usually two distinct perspectives involved in any conversation about third and fourth versus first world countries. The observation of an outsider and the experience of someone who has lived in or had any level of working association with them.
From the perspective of someone who has been both an outsider looking in and one who has actually lived in some of the these countries change is sorely needed in the mindset that drives the power balance of leadership at all levels of those societies.
Maybe the catalyst for such change could well be the catastrophe that results in human tragedy so unprecedented that it brings about a major shift in vision. A shift that changes the balance of power in a more equitable distribution and utilization of valued resources.
It sounds grim but history offers several precedents for this.
History has precedents that tragedy changes nothing as well. I have been to many of these third world countries too, and the underlying issue in many cases are immense poverty, a lack of resources and poor educational systems. But that is neither here nor there. Their is a life and death crisis about to happen in many of these countries and a change of mindset is the last thing they will be worried about when everyone around them are dying.
One such first world privilege is that we are able to be at our armchairs and philosophize third world plight
No effect on my life. I'm a Software Developer(no social life by default), its like I'm made for this. I still work(from home) the same hours I used to. Dance when my code works, cry when it doesn't.
Shout out to all those fighting this virus on front line.
That is part of the poverty : mindset. A mentality that creates and/ or support systems that ensure that resources are kept in the hands of a powerful few. That never changes.
Tragedy changes nothing. As the two major world wars of the 20 th century showed.
Neither does life or death crisis. To a first world citizen looking in from the outside that is what it is. To a person living through it it's just another layer of survival. Because every day is about survival through another level of crisis. After awhile widespread illness and death means nothing to you. In fact, your definition of crisis changes in much the same way your definition of life and death does.
And that survival can mean it's fair game. I'll do what I need to do in order to live. Even if it means the loss of another life. Systems create that. Mindsets enforce it. Daily life experiences become the catalyst for the invention of new systems to manage and control.
So people in these countries adapt with their own systems of survival. So they don't see what the outsider sees. Those systems of survival are multilayered and complex.
This is hardly about philosophizing. These thoughts are oozing from memories of past lived experiences as well as first hand lived observation of the multilayered and complex function and impact of such systems at work in different spheres of life.
It's not an experience you talk about. You experience and feel it in a survival mode. And you just keep going. That's from the insider's lens.
That will be us eventually if people don't stay home. It seems everyone isn't interpreting "social distancing" in the same way.
Some of those countries, though "third world", may not have the problems we do with touch, acceptance, and connection. I consider that a caveman problem if our country struggles with such an innate basic human need, not first world. Some people haven't hugged anyone in crazy lengths of time. I remember being with friends as a 25 year old, observing one in our group having a grumpy day, others still saying they're glad she could come, and then another time, that happened to me on a bad day. After growing up in a home where I was told I just ruined everyone else's time when I wasn't being perfectly happy and behaving exactly as you're supposed to, and they would be happier and have more fun if I weren't there, this was a novel experience to me, at 25 years old. Our country may be first world, but many of us struggle with caveman level issues. I would never downplay the importance of the need for love, connection, acceptance, and a kind touch. For me, I would choose living on bread and water for a week but getting cuddle time by someone specific every day over complete social isolation but endless food. Social isolation literally makes people crazy. It's a torture and interrogation tactic. Granted, we have our phones and technologies, but different people may react differently to this level of social isolation, just as some people are more susceptible to coercion to a false confession than others. We're human beings and this is literally the most basic human need. The very first thing you do with a baby after it's born is put it on the chest of its mother, not to eat (though that is done not much later), but to connect and feel their mother's touch. If a baby doesn't get bonding and connection with another human early in their life, it causes serious mental developmental problems. Not something you can fix easily like giving a hungry person a meal. If you don't understand the level of trauma around not getting this need met, and think it's a first world problem, consider yourself lucky. What IS first world is people experiencing a little bit of struggle and going "it's too hard, so I'm just going to do what I want to do, because I probably won't get sick and die." It's a first world problem only thinking of oneself and not considering the effect we have on everyone around us.
Wow. That was probably my wordiest post ever. 😝
People have difficulty distinguishing between affects and effects
None whatsoever, as I choose not to participate in the mass hysteria.
@ARCuddlist I understand what you are saying, but I do hope you are still social distancing at least.
@FunCartel Right?! I'm going to be stuck not living my life as normal for twice as long as needed, because people are being stubborn. I feel like Americans have so much privilege and good fortune in our generation, we can't imagine anything traumatically awful happening to us / here. It doesn't matter what is happening anywhere else, even as close as NYC, we are protected wherever we are. "It won't happen here / to us / to me." I hope people refusing to social distance don't learn the lesson the hard way. I wish they didn't have to "learn the lesson" at all. 😞
@UKGuy Affect is usually a verb, effect is usually a noun. 😉
The virus does not give two craps about your bravery or ego . Saying you aren't afraid or not participating in hysteria will not impress anybody. I too am being rational and realistic. However being rational and realistic also entails participating and extra safeguarding and not just going about business as usual as though there is not an elephant stampeding in the room.
I am not participating in hysteria, I am participating in the global fight against the virus by minimising my social contact in compliance with my government's rules.
I am however, one of the very lucky ones ; that I can work from home, and am not in the front line of patient contact. This helps me to do my part, with minimal effort, and I do feel a bit of a cheat.