Why there are more men making cuddle request?

Crispin

Just like real life there are good people who are frustrated and angry. 
Road rage can apply to he internet as there is the safety of distance. We might all say things online that we would word differently to someones face.
Many of us come here a little starved in some way (like me) and despite the differences there is a lot of caring and sharing of information that is not available elsewhere.
I have been unable to connect with my "buddy" lately and can tell the difference in my attitude.
It is also very hot here which I find disagreeable. Grrrr.

moviesNmuseums

Because this website is a total sausage party. Vastly more men means more men make requests.

Traditional gender roles reinforce this standard, so the men expect to send requests, while women expect to receive them without sending requests.

There may also be issues of gender roles involved... making it more acceptable for eomen to cuddle with each other, so their cudfling desires may be met already, whereas men expect to only get physical with women, and therefore get less touch, and want it from people who already have enough physical attention.

Rough feedback loop for the gents.

^ I think you answered the main question. You are so spot on @moviesNmuseums

Seems one answer is for men to get over their cultural discomfort with cuddling other men and reach out to each other.

@moviesNmuseums :  I personally am not more comfortable cuddling with other women as opposed to men. I must say I haven't found it necessary to make cuddling requests, and so there is that beneficial aspect of being female. lmao @ Total Sausage party!!! lol ......  and yes more men = more men requesting.  Eh....who said life is fair?  Makes it all the more important to know what you want and go after it.

@moviesNmuseums Why are there more men than women? Where do you think the rest of the women are?

NinjaTurtles

@moviesNmuseums touche, i didn't think of that aspect. Since i only search for women, i can't say ive noticed a disparity in the number of men-women.

docgatorb

@snugglecub I think that you are looking at the posts in the forum Cuddle Requests. I don't think that reflects the cuddle requests that people make by directly messaging someone. Frankly, I don't get why people prefer to announce that they are looking for cuddles in a forum when they can easily browse every member within various distance of them and message them directly. I suspect that the forum represents those who find direct messaging to be too personal and this group may be more inhabited with straight guys.

I have been thinking about why I personally have not sent out emails. I realized today since registering here,  I have received more cuddle requests than I could handle, which means of course that unless I see a profile that particularly appeals to me, I have no reason to send an email to a potential cuddle buddy. Perhaps I should consider professional status? : - )

willmott2k10

When I first joined, Doc, I chose to post on the forum over private messaging but that was more because back then I was a bit less sure about casually messaging people directly who I'd never met about maybe meeting. It sounds stupid, I know, but in fairness I do have a mental disability that affects my social skills and I'm probably more shy than many people on here anyway. I'm better at private messaging now but just to give you some perspective

docgatorb

So, the forum is like a stepping stone. I like that perspective, thanks for the insight. BTW, your social skills are well above average.

willmott2k10

That and at the time I was under the assumption someone would actually reply sooner or later, alas no one did but hey all's worked out for the best so that's good. Thanks but you might take that back if you knew me properly haha I often have a really hard time knowing what to say to people I actually know so you can imagine what I can be like with people I don't know! Forums are kind of different but even then I can be a bit particular about exactly what to say.

bluestripes

@docgatorb, when I joined the site, my first message a few hours in was to someone who posted on Cuddle Request forum (he also got to be my first cuddling experience). When I saw his message on the forum, it told me that he was actively interested. We can't know when someone's profile was created, but a post has a date. Therefore, I think the Cuddle Requests forum is an excellent idea  

Brandon_95

Any girls from Brisbane Australia 

coolguy19850101

thank you all for sharing your thoughts.

Zionscalling

Something is strange. I get a lot of women coming to my page (both near and far of my area) and I'll wait a month or two and not get a message. I just figured they're too busy getting plenty other messages to be honest. Never thought too deep about it. 

Or maybe they're creeped out be me?
... Now I'm thinking deep about it... -.-

coolguy19850101

do women really need cuddling? or it's we men who only do?

coolguy19850101

Are men more emotional than women?

@zionscalling : I wouldn't think too deeply about it . I look at profiles all the time and certainly don't email even half of them.

bluestripes

@zionscalling , we don't have user pics here, or anything like that. Often times I visit a person just to remember who they are. Browsing for possible cuddle connections is only a fraction of why I'd visit someone's profile.

LeaLee

Hi Guys,
 I'm from the Sunshine Coast and looking for a snuggle buddy, at this stage would be during the day, not looking for anything 'else' just a good conversation and a great snuggle?

simon74

looking at the profiles in my distance range reveals 43 women looking to cuddle a man,111 men looking to cuddle a woman,10 men looking to cuddle a man and 20 women looking to cuddle a woman.I would prefer to cuddle a female anyway but just out of interest looked at the male profiles and it revealed zero men in 80 miles who have put straight or asexual as there orientation who have logged on in the last 6 months who want to cuddle another man.

Even tho this isn't a dating site it has the dynamic of a dating site.

Pretty much any kind of online companionship-type website in the US has this dynamic.

Sky is blue, grass is green, it's nothing new.

AlbertM

This is a joke, right?

^^  That was my first reaction.

Mailleweaver

This looks like quite an old thread that was necro'd by, ironically enough, a woman making a cuddle request. I'll throw my 2 cents in, though.

Men are generally conditioned away from being comfortable with having much physical contact between each other so we only seek contact with women, and men are generally expected to be the one pursuing relationships of any kind. That's the short of it. That may not be the way things should be in an ideal world, but that's the way it is. Sure some people have a different experience or expectation, but the majority of North American society (where most of this site's users seem to be) thinks this way, thus the "generally."

This leads to lopsided interactions between men and women. When they make themselves available, women are pursued by at least a few men whether they have great social skills or not because most of the available men are competing for women to pursue. Conversely, though, the few women that will pursue men only need to pursue those that are immediately attractive because there aren't a lot of competing pursuers, leaving men without the social skills to make ourselves immediately attractive left out to pile up in places like this whether we are secretly attractive or not. I hope that I'm just one of the secretly attractive ones rather than a total reject.

(I've no idea why this paragraph is wrapping so weirdly. I tried to fix it.)
The only post I've made in the Cuddle Requests section of the forums was
one about my road trip a few weeks ago since this site didn't (and
still doesn't) offer a way for me to check for people along the route
without changing my location and potentially confusing things. I've sent
out several private messages asking to get to know people (near and far from me) and a couple others
just making a gesture of friendliness. The only reply I've gotten so far
was a short (and I paraphrase) "thanks" from one of the friendly
gestures. The only message I've received unsolicited from a woman was a
flat-out, graphic request for sex shortly after I first joined, which completely shocked me before I
calmly replied that I'm not here for sex and then filled in the "about
me" section of my profile to make that clear to any other potential
shockers or cuddlers.

So, 1 public request, several private requests, a couple friendly "hello" messages, 0 cuddle buddies or conversation partners, and 0 honest offers for this man over the course of maybe a month and a half here. That's not a long time, but I'm keeping an eye on the new members and sending friendly, open messages to the ones with enough details about themselves to give me an idea that I would like to even just talk online with them. Those women are getting at least one nice offer within a day or two of joining while I sit here for weeks with none. Part of it may just be the relatively low population in my area (only 14 women within 10 years of my age and within 80 miles of me, none of which have been online in the past 2 months) but I think my experience here is fairly representative of most other men's. It's rather discouraging for a man who has already been somewhat discouraged with other socialization methods to have come here in the first place.

It would be nice to at least get a reply of "thanks for the message, but I'm uninterested because of [reason]" instead of being completely ignored by dozens of people. Can't we communicate that much? Maybe it would help us secret gems learn how to shine.

Based on my experience I think the big reasons are:

1. Western idea of masculinity : Having a macho image with little space for sensitivity and emotional behavior. Immediately labeling of a contact like hug or holding hands as being indicative of sexual preference. This is not true for Eastern culture, where I grew up. I have been living in NY for 5 years and feel the difference when I visit home especially in last year being single for some time. Since females don't have such image to adhere to they do get this from friends more freely.

2. Libido gap between genders: This need can also be satisfied with intercourse and for women its significantly easier if there is a strong urge for human touch to get it on average.

3. Technology: The life of independence is definitely great but with every interaction being done remotely due to tech advancements especially smartphones , and a wall of separation at work making it superficial, the need for human warmth hard wired in us is becoming less fulfilled. The single independent life appears way better in short run than to have realistic and human expectations from a partner. We all want the moon seeing them in our long list of online dating matches - the illusion of options. (May be NYC phenomena)

4. Fakers spoiling it for genuine needy: Like every other platform of men women interaction, there are a lot of men expecting to get laid. It is almost impossible to assess who has genuine need vs. the men who forced by the nature have to look for options for sexual release anywhere possible

ChazBabylon

My guess is that there are more single men on here than there are single women.  I imagine that people in relationships generally don't visit this site.  I know I wouldn't be here if I had a partner.  I could be wrong though.

Because there are more men on this Cuddle website. Dating websites are the exact same way. If Cuddle Comfort was in Russia or Ukraine then there would be more women logged on and all the guys would be receiving messages. There would probably be male pros too.

UKGuy

@CuddlesInParis - I did a quick search: In Moscow, Russia 8 women and 1 man, in Kiev, Ukraine 4 women and 1 man.