Openminded Cuddling! Gender? Pros?

SuperManCuddles

Hello, this post is welcome to everyone regardless of cuddle preferences and location (I travel randomly, so may end you in area, you may find yourself in Florida or virtual connections can be fun too). Since I have joined this site cuddled many women (pro and non pro) but approximately 10 men listed as cuddling “women only” suprisingly offered me a cuddle invitation through private message. No judgement here and we are all curious about life in general. So regardless of gender if you are looking for cuddle buddies (women, men or both) or wanting to discuss topics positively/respectfully feel free to post. Also if you are a man or woman that is listed as cuddling “women only” but want to discuss, ask questions or secretly interested in trying cuddling with men, you can feel free to private message me (if you are not comfortable posting publicly). Here are my questions. What would motivate you to pay a pro cuddler as opposed to cuddling a close friend or relationship partner? If interested in paying pros with is your price range? (I have seen pros charge between $40 to over $200 per hour) If you cuddle only one gender, what qualities would you look for in the other gender that may open up your views and want to try cuddling everyone but only if you are open/at least considering (If you are not open that’s ok too)? I look forward to hearing from all of you. Special shout out to my friend @pmvines

SuperManCuddles

Hello, this post is welcome to everyone regardless of cuddle preferences and location (I travel randomly, so come to you area or you may find yourself in Florida.. Since I have joined this site cuddled many women but approximately 10 men listed as cuddling “women only” suprisingly offered me a cuddle invitation through private message. No judgement here and we are all curious about life in general. So regardless of gender if you are looking for cuddle buddies (women, men or both) or wanting to discuss topics positively/respectfully feel free to post. Also if you are a man that is listed as cuddling “women only” but want to discuss, ask questions or secretly interested in trying cuddling with men, you can feel free to private message me (if you are not comfortable posting publicly).I look forward to hearing from all of you.

pmvines

I am open to cuddling men but not as open as I am about women . Not as comfy with the idea and the criteria for it is a lot more narrow than with women . So that is why I list myself as cuddling only women .

SuperManCuddles

@pmvines Awesome 😎 you are the first person to respond to my post. I understand and agree with your views. I am posted as cuddling “everyone” because generally open to cuddling either gender as long as connection and respect of boundaries are maintained. I know friends that are primarily trying to find women cuddle buddies but only cuddle one or very few men. It makes sense to be listed as cuddling “women only”, if that’s what you are primarily looking for and if men cuddling interest is low/minimal. Thank you for sharing!

pmvines

@FishCuddles this would gain more traction in the general forum . I am copying @SoulcuddlerZ @Mark @reurbo if you agree and would like it moved just say so 😊

SuperManCuddles

@pmvines Thank you so much my friend. I made edits and added more questions/content, to ensure great discussions for this tread in the general forums too. Thank you again for the suggestion.

TouchSanctuary

Women why do you think men would pay a pro (I know many me that are successful at finding relationships with women but still pay pros)?

There are lots of reasons why men would pay a pro cuddler, even if they can find relationships with women:

• They are seeking a therapeutic experience where they can just relax and receive, without having to give anything or worry about the other person's needs
• It's a space where they can let down their guard, be totally honest and vulnerable, and receive emotional support from someone outside their usual circle of friends/family
• They are in a relationship but would like more physical touch, as their partner may be touch averse, busy or travelling
• They have touch related trauma or touch-related sensory issues due to ASD/ADHD, and want to work on overcoming them
• They might be single and not ready for a relationship for all kinds of reasons (attachment issues, busy lifestyle, etc)
• They just went through a painful breakup and need some extra emotional support and comfort to get back on their feet
• They may have had a lack of nurturing touch as a child, and want to make up for that as an adult by receiving cuddle therapy
• They are travelling for work or pleasure, and want some companionship along the way
• They have chronic pain or other health conditions that are relieved by therapeutic touch
• They want to simply cuddle without any expectation of emotional commitment or sex, to keep things simple and boundaries clear - avoids someone getting too attached

Plus I'm sure there are other reasons I haven't considered!

SuperManCuddles

@TouchSanctuary Thank you very much for the well though out feedback.

TouchSanctuary

You're welcome @FishCuddles ! I think the real beauty and benefit of pro cuddling is how the boundaries create a safe container and a sense of simplicity. It's just cuddling, pure and simple, with no complicated emotional strings attached. Boundaries can easily get blurry when people cuddle as enthusiasts, as it's easy for more romantic or sexual expectations to creep in when people get attached. Professional cuddling avoids a lot of those issues by enforcing strong boundaries at all times.

Even if a client does experience transference - for example getting attached or catching romantic feelings for the professional cuddler - there is safety in knowing that the feelings are not returned. They can process and work through their own issues without worrying about hurting someone else's feelings in the process.

geoff1000

They are afraid of getting a slap and / or a lawsuit.

Destiny01

@TouchSanctuary thank you so much..... I read how cuddle sessions are the same for pros and non pros.... as a professional who has dealt with so many different personalities as in mental physical and emotional health....I see that certain needs aren’t being met..... mental health doesn’t mean violent offenders .... but in some cases, a PERSON may speak and move about differently than what is defined as normal.... I’ve cared for the sweetest people that you have to have the skills to calm because they don’t know how to communicate their emotions..... this is just one example of many but I felt it was one of the most important to add to your list....... which is dead on btw ......thanks again for sharing and I would like to keep a copy in my notes if you don’t mind

SuperManCuddles

@geoff1000 Very true possible consequences. The sad part is based on my and many other people that I had conversations with, many boundary pushers still exist and require firm redirection. Boundary pushers know the law/consequences but hope that the other person will not try to stop them or get the police involved. @Destiny01 I am happy that my new forum and quality discussions from @TouchSanctuary, have been beneficial for you as well!😁

Destiny01

@FishCuddles yes she has definitely put my thought into words. I appreciate it.... I ramble lol

TouchSanctuary

You're welcome @Destiny01 ! Glad you found it helpful.

SuperManCuddles

Also speaking of mental health, I work in the field and that is correct. Others with a mental health diagnosis may display behaviors not typically expected. I have seen this first hand, with many people that I interacted with at work and in my personal life. Knowledge of mental health is definitely a huge bonus and helps us better understand others. @TouchSanctuary @Destiny01

geoff1000

@FishCuddles
I meant, just for asking.

Destiny01

@FishCuddles exactly... It takes experience , patience, understanding and the ability to redirect .... as a precessional , you know, being firm with your boundaries is not always going to be receivable .... you have to know how to distract and redirect without saying that’s what you are doing .......often times ones way of touching or yelling out is not to cause harm or fear... it’s just how they communicate their needs and it will definitely intimidate the wrong folks......... now let’s switch it around........ those with some real violent tendencies, can come off very charming and loving... fun to be around... and very intelligent..... but their mental health issues are something you wouldn’t want in your presence..... as far as gender and age .... it doesn’t matter, my methods change with age.... because a professional .... touch therapist could be therapeutic of folks of all ages .... the needs and boundaries is what differs

Destiny01

Ok I have a habit of going in all types of directions!! You all have a blessed day

SuperManCuddles

@geoff1000 You have an interesting take on things and sense of humor too. I like much diversity in forums. Thank you for sharing.

geoff1000

@FishCuddles
😀

SuperManCuddles

@Destiny01 I can relate and agree with all that you said. It takes creativity, confident and firm person to enforce boundaries whether during cuddling or in everyday life. Share a lot but it’s all good on forums. I appreciate you!😁❤️

MissAdventurous

I cuddle all. 💓 Even if I wasn't a pro lol, love people! I've always been a huge fan of touch in my life. Qualities I appreciate are a good sense of humor and capable of reaching deep conversations, but when I'm with a client, my focus is on them, not me naturally. 😊😊

However, as a professional who is degree educated and has a rich history of work experience in the psychology department, I'm an anomaly to many pros here, as I could and have charged similar pricing for my skills in connection and emotional growth, focus with others needs will range from physical pain to emotional trauma, combos of that would make anyone seek out relief, but who gets to cuddle their therapist too right? 😂😂😂

This bonus field of work that is professional cuddling that I get to implement touch in ways I truly believe improve on the general therapy of the whole experience to healing and finding boundaries in many ways, from an simple afternoon session away from the busy work week to grieving a lost one.

That makes me very content, because now I get to help others in ways all those other fields never could let me get to, be it a professional boundary or a society issue.

That joy comes out in my work here, as I hope it shows when you come visit my page or chat with me, I genuinely care. Looking forward to seeing others response. 😊

pmvines

I responded to this whe.n it was in the other section but am glad to post it here since the question has gained traction in this section . I list myself as cuddling women because it is my preference. It is what I am most comfortable with . I am however open to cuddling men under the right circumstances, however my criteria for that is much more narrow than what it is for cuddling women . I feel if I list myself as cuddling everyone it implies I am 50/50 on it , whereas it is really more like 95/5 . There are several men on this site I would consider cuddling , however I don't want any old guy who comes across my profile to assume I will be open to cuddling with them . I hope that makes sense .

Mike403

I wouldn't be comfortable cuddling men. I know this is supposed to be a platonic site, but I don't feel comfortable standing too close to another guy at a crowded music venue.

As a cuddler who started as an enthusiast and is now a pro, I will say that I am open to cuddling anyone, any gender or orientation. I'd actually rather cuddle those who identify as gay because some straight men can get a little "handsy."

For me, it's not about who you are romantically inclined toward since this experience is supposed to be platonic. Rather it is about feeling comfortable and trusting the other person to respect cuddling boundaries as well as the mental/emotional aspects of cuddling. As someone who needs physical touch myself, I deeply understand the need in others. As @MissAdventurous says, I truly care because I have "been there, done that."

@TouchSanctuary gave an awesome list of reasons too.

littermate

I'm a nonpro. I list that I cuddle everyone but besides one woman who approached me, who I was concerned I might run into in my professional c8ircles, I haven't had any exchanges about cuddling with women. I put "everyone" because I feel open and have had some nourishing experiences over the years snuggling with women friends, though it seems the nature of cuddling on this site can be more "we are CUDDLING now" versus just, here we are together at a party or gathering, all snuggled up on the couch together. For me it's less about gender and more about the feeling of mutually nourishing, respectful, sensitive and aware experience. However, I will say that my experience for this particular body is that men's bodies, and maybe not all men's bodies, but those bodies that are grounded/earthed through manual work/athletics seem to have a vitamin that my body particularly enjoys. My last relationship still stands as the best hug I've experienced this lifetime and if I could just have that particular aspect of the relationship from now until the end of time I would.

I've also worked as a therapist, among other things, and have a LOT to offer in terms of the space I hold -- but for now anyway I'm looking less to be someone's exclusive spaceholder and more for a mutual/peer kind of snuggle that's nourishing both ways. Happy to have emotionality and anxiety and all that as part of the package, as long as the person is holding themselves in that and I don't start to feel like the only spaceholder in the room.

I would probably pay for a professional cuddler if they were just amazingly stellar in their presence, kindness, comfort in their body and had some skills that allowed me to go to places that were healing emotionally/physically. I won't go into the deets here, only to say that there are certain things held in the body that your average therapeutic space doesn't even touch. I've had some great luck with close friends and lovers with having that kind of space held and it's amazing. It's sort of a hole in our treatment bouquet though I have found such people in various roles who have that unique combo of comfort in their bodies, deep wisdom about the psyche, and an ease and sweetness with holding space for all manner of things. So some kind of super-amazing snuggler/spaceholder type would be worth paying for in my world. I've only met one person like that so far and did pay her for her amazing embodied presence.

littermate

PS @FishCuddles

Cuddle_sadies5

I cuddle everyone!🤘 i genuinely enjoy meeting new people cuddling and connecting with women and men of all backgrounds. I welcome all without judgment to appearance, gender, age and/or sexual orientation. I feel comfortable with it✨☺ I adapt pretty well to other ppl energy and if i feel a connection and they do (woman or man) and they choose to want to cuddle no way would i pass judgment! ✨

SuperManCuddles

Thank you to everyone about for that comments about pros, the cuddle experience, challenges and same gender cuddling. @pmvines I agree with you. If you would cuddle women 95% if the time and men only 5%, cuddling “women only”, is the most accurate category. I view it the same way. My listing as cuddling everyone to me means that gender does not matter as much as personal connection, so pretty much “50/50”, your earlier description describes me in terms of cuddling. @Mike403 I agree, if you can’t be close to a guy at a concert, his can you cuddle one lol Maybe one day you will find a trusted male friend to share cuddles with or maybe not lol In any cuddling relationship trust, respect and comfort are important. @MissAdventurous I love how your expressed caring for other people and the personal importance to you. You are a great pro for a reason!!! @SuperSnuggler2 I am happy that you are back now. I had the chance to chat with you as an enthusiast and a pro and your awesome. Wish you well with providing services as a new pro and happy that “everyone” gets a chance to experience the positive energy that you bring!!! @littermate ❤️❤️❤️Your posts are awesome my fellow therapist and everyone cuddler. The way you described the cuddle experience are vivid and amazing felt like I was cuddling you while I was reading. You bring many skills, positive energy, insight and experience to the table. Keep posting great posts in the forums! @Cuddle_sadies5 I totally agree with your views on gender, other characteristics she importance of positive energy, during cuddling!😁🤗

Here's the reason why I pay pro cuddlers, and I'm confident it's the same reason most men on this site pay pro cuddlers: women are scarce. It takes a large investment of time and effort to get physical affection from a woman. Or you can skip that process and just pay for it. That's it. That's 100% of the reason.

Men aren't scarce. Meeting men is easy. Under the exact right circumstances maybe I would cuddle a man, but I can't imagine ever paying for it because why would I? People don't pay for things they can easily get for free.

quixotic_life

@littermate ~ Your response to this is beautiful! 💓

@FishCuddles ~ I hope our paths cross one day!
You have a lovely way about you that I'd like to experience in person if you're open to it. 💞

To answer your questions though...

"What would motivate you to pay a pro cuddler as opposed to cuddling a close friend or relationship partner? If interested in paying pros with is your price range? (I have seen pros charge between $40 to over $200 per hour) "

My answer to this now, vs when I first joined, has changed quite a bit.

My day 3 answer: I don't have "touch" happening in any of my relationships and wouldn't feel comfortable introducing or incorporating it into any of them. I'd hire a pro because I'm new to all this and don't know what to expect or what's expected. I'd want them to be male and since there's only one within 300miles of me, I guess I'll pay whatever he's charging (except he's so far away I doubt I'll do it).

My month 3 answer: I wouldn't hire a pro. I don't trust the vetting process enough and of the now three who are located within 300 miles, they all have zero karma, have all been on the site two months or less and are all too young for me to consider as one who I'd hire to provide me with something so intimate in nature. If the previous one were still on here I still wouldn't hire him because I don't feel it would be appropriate for me to ask them to put in the time needed to meet my need for established rapport prior to our meeting.

Also, over these last three months I've learned a lot about what I like, and what I have to offer. I've met people I hope to have in my life forever and although nailing down a local cuddle hasn't been as easy as some would have you believe, I feel the effort I put in has and will continue to be rewarded.

"If you cuddle only one gender, what qualities would you look for in the other gender that may open up your views and want to try cuddling everyone but only if you are open/at least considering (If you are not open that’s ok too)?"

I've selected cuddles "men" because that's primarily who I'd like to have cuddle me. I have an abundance of water and air energy that can only seem to find a replenishing balance with those whose energy is predominantly earthy (those three elements coming together form a container perfect for fire) and although there may be women who this would apply to, and there are a few here I'd say "yes!" to if asked, it's well adjusted nurturing men I'm finding myself drawn to.

What it comes down to for me is I'm looking for those who project a calm sure footedness ~ It's as if they have strong tendrilled roots that move through the ground we share, and as theirs pass in and around mine, I feel supported, better connected and get a sense freedom enabling me to be open to the wind. It takes a special person to make me feel that way and I'm about 90% sure I'm only going find that in a man 🤷‍♀️