Guys, can we please stop sounding so sexist and entitled?

moviesNmuseums

Have you ever been upset that a woman didn't write you back?  Or that she wrote you back to say it wasn't going to happen?

Are you unhappy because you have to send out all the cuddle requests, and nobody sends you a cuddle request?

Yeah, me too.  It's just not fair.  Life just isn't fair, and this website isn't exactly designed as the perfect solution to all our problems.  Tough.  But can we please stop blaming every single issue on the women here?  If you do that, it's no wonder they don't want to cuddle with you.

I know, I know... you got on this website so someone would cuddle with you.  you need it bad, and it's frustrating.
You get on Monster.com so someone will hire you, and you do it when you need a job bad too,  But you aren't going to get hired if your Resume says "My fucking boss fired me, and now I need work real bad."  And if you post things about how rude it is when employers never responds to your resume, that doesn't help.

Now look:  these ladies on here that you're complaining about:  They found the website just like you.  They took the time to make a profile, just like you.  They did this so they could find a specific sort of person to cuddle with, the same way you did.  now if someone you weren't into kept writing about how you were such a jerk for not cuddling with them, would that be cool?

Oh, but these women never write back? Well... are they even online still?  It's kind of a ghost town sometimes.

Oh. they are online, and they STILL don't write back?  Well... are you sure they read your message?  Try this, search for women in your area.  Now search for women and men.  Notice anything? My area is about 100 men for every woman.  There could be stiff competition for their time.

Oh, but it says they read your message?  Really?  Is the website... reliable?  Have you ever gotten a message?  how do you know the messaging system works 100% of the time?  Arent you just assuming it works reliably?  Do you have some reason to trust the website more than a stranger?

Have you tried writing a more polite message?  A more interesting message? 

I know this is for cuddling, not for dating, but maybe you have to spark the woman's interest.  If you could chose between cuddling with someone boring, or with someone interesting, which would you choose?
 

Zionscalling

It's odd. I'm venturing away from the "entitled" train of though because I just figured that they get enough messages from plenty others to keep them busy. And when they do come to my profile and continue to not respond, I just think: "It takes energy to be at least a decent person, guess they got none." HA.

bluestripes

@Zionscalling : here's what I'm reading: if I answer, I'm a decent person, if I don't, I'm not. Even a small suspicion that a person thinks that way will be enough for me not to meet and not to cuddle. Because if they divide people into any "good" and "bad" categories, I need to work to stay in the "good" one, and I don't want to. I'm asking for a lot here -- I want to be in the "good" category no matter what. Basically, I only want to meet people who don't have a "bad" category to begin with. Only a person with whom I can not-reply, be bitchy, grumpy, or "bad" in any way is worth for me to be talking to, and be nice and to cuddle. 

So if a person talks negatively of any women -- those who don't reply ("you're the only one who wrote back", for example), that's an immediate internal NO. Does it really matter at that point whether I'm going to write back or not?

@MnM : Bravo!  @Bluestripes :  Brava!  I've written enough and given my opinion on this topic enough. People would be best served to drop their senses of entitlement,  see their therapists/psychologists, take a class on Coursera on Communication, in others words work on themselves and come into interaction with their best attire on.    Otherwise, it may be best to pick up their toys and go home. Like Bluestripes, any suspicious that a person's attitude is "off" will stop or prevent any interaction.   

**suspicion**

Zionscalling

You again: ok @Bluestripes, speaking from a stand point of "we are all mature adults," one should easily have the decency to say right off the bat say if they are not interested in cuddling. In a way you're putting the other persons best intentions ahead of yours while still getting your point across and last time I checked, considering the feeling of others before yourself is NOT a bad thing. So sure, being a decent person can start by lowering the ego and responding with a polite "no." "But Z... We owe those guys nothing..." Correct. No one on here owes anyone any kind of decency or respect on here, but those who show it anyway are considered, at least in my mind, one worth cuddling and possibly at least a "decent" person. 

willmott2k10

To be fair, generally speaking here not just referring to people on this site, you get people on both sexes having a go about the other over a mere few or handful of them either wronging you or doing something you find annoying, it's something I've come across many times on Facebook, must say though before I came on here I'd never seen guys do that, as a guy now I just feel kind of...well, not ashamed exactly but that sort of thing about it.

Two words and only two words for all such people: Grow up. If anyone on here doesn't like one or two particular people on here fair enough but being a sexist pig over it isn't going to solve anything, if anything you're just digging yourself a hole.

bluestripes

@Zionscalling: why is an answer so important? All we want to know, at the end, is "yes-cuddle" or "no-cuddle". From that perspective, a silence is as good as a "no". Why make such a big deal of how the "no" was delivered? Why is one way more "decent" than the other? They both mean the same thing at the end.

Sounds like for some no answer is invalidating to themselves.  They need someone else to validate them because they can't validate themselves... I agree that responding is more "polite" and perhaps adds to the positive energy in the universe : - ) but I would hope that one was able to absorb the huge blow to ego and psyche.. again : - ) and move on .....

@Zionscalling You speak truth. Thank you man!

caringtouch

Seems to me that it would be more inviting for new comers as well as encouraging to everyone if the most commented on topics on such a well meaning website would be happier tunes. The kind that help us become better people and more informed with useful info.

Is it about time for the tide to turn? Just askin......

Zionscalling

@Bluestripes: In and of itself, the answer is not important because we can all get the picture that ignoring ='s no. But my issue was people being the typical "Facebook/MySpace" self; where it's just another social media platform vs. a place that is to promote spiritual and mental healing through touch. This place (when I joined YEARS ago) was to be a special place where we can shed a warm light to those not only through cuddling but a general understanding and at least respectable conversation and now with this recent wave of controversial members, people are pardoning themselves because they are excersizing their right to be what they want to be. 

So how can those who need to heal or fill their desire get what they need when people on here defend their Facebook asshole attitudes? Oh, you don't care about what they want at all. And that's fine, but don't confuse my expectation of the other person being a mature adult with a common desire, for me having an ego or feeling entitled.

MrMountainLion

Here's the thing. These women actually take the time to view your profile. And yes I do have proof, because this site explicitly tells you WHO views your profile WHEN. So if they view your profile after you sent them a message, they are doing so because they read your message. If they have time to view your profile, they have time to say "sorry, not interested." A non-response is actually statement: these women are passive-aggressively stating that "you are not worth anything." And why do they behave that way? Same reason women sexually mutilate their own sons. It's because women don't view men as fellow human beings!!!

Crispin

I see lots of women haters here but that is what I see in the rest of the world.
Every transaction and non-transaction is more fuel for that point of view.
This forum is a very rare opportunity to hear it straight from women.
You'll prob never get such patient feedback outside of therapy.
Most of u will feel the same way 30 years from now though I hope not.
Thinking catagorically that any sex, race, religion is inferior is not the best way to trudge the happy road of your destiny. 

Yawn. Back to cuddling. Will make a conscious effort to ignore this topic and its usual suspects from now on.  

moviesNmuseums

So... guys come to this sacred site of cuddle healing, and are hurt by the rudeness of women who do't write back?

Is it possible that the women are here, and don't write back because they too need some sort of healing?

Can we at least give everyone the same benefit of the doubt?

recovering_nerd

@Zionscalling

You are not a beautiful and unique snow flake.

Zionscalling

@recovering_ nerd

Ok... I never said I was, but I appreciate the reminder. 

Zionscalling

@moviesNmuseums

Thats always a great point. With that I bring a counter argument: unless it's just an overall distrust of males, why would they narrow the opportunity to get healing through this site? 

Zionscalling

@snugglecub

What? I'm not sure what is sexist, hypothetical or a characterization of people going to a place to get healed, but then they themselves limiting the potential of their healing. Please explain?

Zionscalling

@Snugglecub
Hmm... I see. Clarification, there is MORE than one reason as to why can do that. I was just speaking very generically and ballparking it by saying "... other than men..." because I didn't really feel like typing out more than one possibility... -.-

. Snuggle, you talk way too much sense for some.

Zionscalling

@Snugglecub
???
Okay... I figured you were smart enough to answer the question that could have done without that additive statement to guide you to answer me in a way to change my mind, but it seems you're more consumed with passive aggressively taking shots at my character since AT ONE POINT IN TIME I WAS a prick, and because I just wanted to hopefully gain a new prospective by hearing some of the thoughts of the users. But How dare I "be controversial" right? I'll just leave you to it. Aye, why not come to my inbox and tell me how you really feel?

Crispin

It is ok to be controversial. Snugglecub's gone it seems.

@Crispin Good Riddance (:

Not by the looks of your profile. It's gone...

Mark

@snugglecub Please can you re-create your account under the same username as this forum is only meant for active members. 

Dave086543

I have a question. If you walked up to me and asked me a question, and instead of answering I just walked away, what would you think? I'll bet one thought would be - man is that guy rude. How is not answering a request any different.

It has nothing to do with ego, power, chauvinism  or entitlement it has all to do about being polite.My parents taught me to be polite and respectful of others. Maybe that is out of style now. I'm 64 years old and I am probably considered a dinosaur. Men just like women have feelings too, even us old guys.

I sell things on eBay and Craigslist and I experience the same kind of behavior. It appears to happen more with the younger generation. I'll answer and there typically won't be a "Thank you", just nothing.  What has happened to what we used to call "common courtesy"?

I think it is pretty ironic especially when the woman has in her profile how important she thinks kindness is, or how caring a person she is. I expected this site to have members that actually did care and would be more understanding. I am sadly disappointed.

willmott2k10

@Dave086543 I think common courtesy pretty much died about the same time as when a lot of the good stuff on TV died; quite a while ago. It too annoys me a lot when people don't bother with simple things like please and thank you, it doesn't even take a second to say these things out loud and barely more than that to type them out properly on a keyboard. I'm actually 22 and I try to be polite whenever I can, rest assured it's not completely unused by young generations just mostly unused haha :P

Zionscalling

@Dave086543
I agree whole heartedly. I tried bringing up that similar point a while back possibly even in a different thread and it seemed that a small chunk of people agreed with me. As far as I could tell, they where mostly males. But then you get users like Arielle or SnuggleCub who don't want to admit that there are clearly two sides to this situation and both sides sees the otherside as incorrect in their approach. 

The only thing I feel like is a weird issue is that it's generally the older people on this site that just ignores, but you have the opposite issue and that could just be an "ageism" issue apparently most people have. Just speaking from personal experience. 

. Stop referencing me on your posts @Zionscalling. I don't disagree with the premise. I disagree, as I said with people who complain because they think they are owed something.