@CuddleDuncan - cuddling is more difficult than being a plumber? I guess you never tried to install a kitchen sink.
As for the original question, it can definitely be disconcerting that cuddlers with no experience can charge as much as highly skilled and trained professionals from other fields given that, let’s face it, cuddling requires no particular skill, training, or experience.
And it’s also unfortunate that the price puts pro cuddlers out of reach for some people.
I’ve said this before, but I think the market price of cuddles is artificially inflated due to stigma and lack of knowledge about the profession. It’s like, I might pay a neighborhood kid $20 to mow my lawn. But if mowing lawns was some obscure thing that most kids had never heard of, that price might shoot way up.
Regardless, ultimately it’s not really meaningful to talk about what people “should” charge. By and large people will charge whatever makes them the most money, and evidently under current market conditions there are plenty of clients willing to pay $100/hour.
I think 20 is good enough for my time lmao but no one wants mah cuddlez
@MacGoober As has been discussed many times on this forum, there is no market for male pro cuddlers. It’s likely you will never get a client.
@CuddleMeLater Probably not, but who wouldn't wanna cuddle this charming man? 😋 At least I'm married lmao.
@introvme Stamp approved. Be sure to renew it on 12/22/2021.
According to the SSA.gov, the median net compensation of the US taxpayer in 2019 was $35,000 roughly. That roughly equates to $17 per hour for a 40 hour week. An online tax calculator I used said you'd keep about 80% of those earnings. So $13.6 per hour. According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, the median bachelor's degree holder makes about $66,000 per year. With that income, an online calculator said 70% is kept so an equivalent of about $22 per hour.
Average price of 16 randomly selected pros in my extended area is $97/hour.
I prefer longer sessions, but I'm using 2 hours as a minimum example, 1 hour is way too short for cuddling. So, for the median individual taxpayer, one 2-hour session would be 14 hours of work, and two 2-hour sessions would be 28 hours. Throwing in a hotel would likely get close to 40 work hours for two sessions.
For the median bachelor's holder, one 2-hour session would be about 9 hours of work, or 18 hours for two of those sessions, so a lot more money left over in case a hotel rental is needed.
I would say that earners making around the median income would probably struggle to afford a pro.
If you make at or above the median for a degree holder, you should be able to afford regular professional cuddle sessions without an issue if all other bills are reasonable (there are always exceptions like super high medical costs or maybe you run a business that is bleeding money).
Becoming a pro cuddler does not require tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in school like a lawyer, or degrees/certs like a therapist, or the certifications, tools, and insurance of a plumber. That being said, not just anyone can be a good cuddler. I can't imagine the level of mental exhaustion involved in being attentive to strangers and their problems for hours on end, as well the risk of being in such a personal setting with strangers. While I wish the average cost of a pro was lower, I can understand why it's priced higher than other professions that do not require a degree/certs. Additionally, I get that it's a niche market so it's probably hard to have a steady supply of clients. Lowering price may enable lower income earners more frequency with pros, but I am not sure if that is a financially wise move or if that would erode the professional cuddler's morale to be present and authentic. Discounts on longer sessions are always appreciated though.
Just got a message from a former enthusiast (for about 2 weeks) who wants to know why I haven't texted her. Upon going to her page, it suddenly shows she's a pro and is charging THREE HUNDRED PER HOUR!!! You heard that right. This is in Vegas but come on, what's really going on here? I think we all know.
@FunCartel & @MrFirefighter lololol 😅
@MrFirefighter I sympathize with your situation but you definitely gave enough details to know which pro that is. You should probably chat with her instead of complaining here. Especially if you were chatting with her as an enthusiast. If you believe that everything is not up to the standards of cuddlecomfort and have evidence then you can always report.
@MrFirefighter
This is in Vegas but come on, what's really going on here? I think we all know.
Not necessarily. That's possible, but IME there are two other possibilities:
I'm aware of cuddlers who fall into both camps. For instance I knew a cuddler who overpriced herself and yet constantly complained that she couldn't get many clients. It took months before she finally lowered her price.
@cuddlemelater: Completely agree, probably both 1 & 2
@BotwithFeelings: 1. Not a chance in hell I'll chat with someone wanting $300 per hour. 2. We didn't chat much at all. As often happens, someone will join as an enthusiast and chat a little, disappear for a bit, then comes back and hits you up after they turn pro. No thank you.
I see cuddling with a pro as a luxury. Does anyone else?
I've been fortunate that I have been able to satisfy my cuddle needs through enthusiasts. I did venture into the pro world once about a year ago. She charged $60/he, with discounts for multiple hours, and a discount if you had to pay for a hotel room specially for our session. She charged me $120 for 3 hours. She was a great cuddle. I believe in the free market. If a pro can get $120/hr, more power to her. If she'll only charge only $60/hr, even better. I have earned a Bachelor's, Master's, and Doctorate. I'm a published author. None of those things help me financially in my chosen profession.
I believe the answer is whatever price someone sets for themselves is the perfect price. Everyone gets to choose what it is worth to them. Whether it's free or $200/hour none of us get to judge anyone else's worth. If it's worth it to you, buy the service. If it isn't, don't. A female's time seems to be the only thing we think is negotiable on price. You wouldn't walk into a grocery store or the office of anyone else and ask to receive something for less than its advertized. I understand the lack of screening or qualifying as "pro", but the bottom line is regardless of credentials, if someone names the price for their time, any judgement on that is a complete reflection of you, not them. The worth of someone else's time is not up to anyone else to decide
This is capitalism, not social service. What pros charge is up to them entirely and personal to them and actually no one's business. If you want the service and can afford it, buy it. If you don't, don't. There are services I can't afford too.
I can't help but feel that this discussion of "are these prices fair" as though it's a community issue come from some sense that women (the majority of pro cuddlers) somehow owe their cuddling to the community (the men) and shouldn't be "greedy" about it. If I'm selling my Camaro, and I'm asking double what it's worth, don't buy it. But it's none of your business what price I put on something I OWN.
@supernova22 You are correct. People can name whatever price they want. But if you want to make money it would be wise to know the market. And based on the poll and these comments I think it is fairly evident most consumers think the prices are too high and are not buying. And by the way there is nothing wrong with negotiating a better price. I did it today in buying a bike. It was advertised for a higher price and I negotiated what I thought it was worth/or what I was willing to pay and we came to a deal.
@supernova22 Every business transaction ever is negotiable and every transaction ever is negotiated somewhere in the line. This is obvious to everyday consumer when purchasing big ticket items (like houses and cars) but whenever the consumer has leverage there is negotiation. You may not negotiate with your grocer over the $dollar box of cereal but rest assured that your grocer negotiated with Kellog's over their cereal pricing. Likewise, cost is negotiated for lawyers, landlords (a consistent tenant is better) and even therapists (sometimes). When you get a new job, you negotiate your salary. This is because there are two parties in every transaction.
Edit: I want to be clear that I am not on the anti-pro train. It's not for me personally but I can see the benefits.
@supernova22
A female's time seems to be the only thing we think is negotiable on price.
While I don't disagree with the overall sentiment of your comment, this sentence does not resemble reality. Everybody talks about and complains about the price of whatever they're interested in. People who are into cars talk about, complain about, and negotiate the price of cars. Ditto motorcycles, houses, guitars, boats, martial arts lessons, etc etc.
In the case of cuddlers, it's a big topic of conversation because people know what inexperienced unskilled work usually pays. If I were a young man with just a bit of landscaping experience and wanted to start a small landscaping business, I'm guessing I would charge something in the range of $30 for an hour of work. It's weird that women can charge over 3x that just to relax and do something that most people like to do anyway. It's fine, I'm okay with it, but it does make people do a double take when they first see the prices, and it's perfectly rational that people want to talk about it.
Not that this an excuse for people to have an entitled attitude about it.
I would argue the this isn’t about manual labor (landscaping) or expertise such as being an attorney or a plumber. This is about being in a woman’s personal space. This is about receiving affection. I feel like we are comparing apples to oranges here, gentlemen. We all want a woman to hold us, yes? We all find value in that, yes? Those two questions are rhetorical.
Now, is this service extremely special to you? Are you willing to cuddle anyone or are you picky about who you will allow into your arms? Do you consider this service a luxury or should it be available to everyone?
I like this service because I don’t have to maintain the daily grind of a relationship. I just want the platonic cuddles/affection. So this works for me. I am also very picky and value my privacy so I don’t mind paying more for a special cuddler and a longer session.
I want to fit into this community but I’m struggling to understand how men expect women to cuddle them for free or for smaller rates without a some type of a relationship. In every culture I have ever visited women’s personal space has been valued in some way or another.
I’m seriously confused and baffled that some of the more outspoken men here in the forum think women want the same things we do, when we have raised our daughters to guard their personal space. I see it as a privilege to be in a woman’s arms. I believe that we all appreciate the platonic affection of a woman otherwise we wouldn’t be here.
One more concept— would you be okay with your daughter in her 20s doing this type of work? And if the answer is yes, how much should she charge? What should she do to keep herself safe—emotionally, physically, mentally, and from public scrutiny by making her pictures and services public online? Should your daughter offer discounted rates for her vulnerability in holding a stranger and emotionally supporting him?
Can we take a moment to consider this from a woman’s perspective?
This is honestly being submitted respectfully,
@ChibiShema ... are the professionals really professional? Or are some / all just enthusiasts with dressed up profiles. And I’m not being gender specific . There are featured men or women with a pro badge .
For example someone else in the thread is selling their camaro. ( yes it’s not a equal comparison but it was mentioned ) Is really a genuine z28 396 4speed ? Or did it roll off the assembly line a 6 cylinder automatic , and someone who owned it once put a crate motor in it and z28 badges they bought online .
@ChibiShema Why is women's personal space inherently valuable and men's is not? Why is women's touch and affection valuable and men's is not? I know that the large majority of pros I cuddled legitimately enjoyed their time with me, and yet I was always the one paying them, not vice versa. Why?
In most men's experience prior to coming to this site, every cuddle they ever had was a mutual experience that both parties undertook freely for the simple reason that they wanted to be close to each other. It is jarring to come from that background, believing that one's affection and touch are valuable, and then come to this community and discover that actually, one's affection is worthless. Worse than that, it has negative value: one actually has to pay to find someone willing to receive it.
(What I wrote above is a harsh version of it. We don't have to think of the situation in such negative terms, but I'm trying to make a point here.)
I want to fit into this community but I’m struggling to understand how men expect women to cuddle them for free or for smaller rates without a some type of a relationship.
I am willing to cuddle women for free. Why is it so crazy to imagine that women might be willing to cuddle me for free? I understand that some men come across as entitled. But some of the anti-entitlement talk is even worse IMO. Sometimes it seems like the message is, "You're so entitled to think anyone would want to touch you without being paid for it."
BTW, to be clear, the questions I'm asking are rhetorical. I'm just asking them to make the point that it's natural for a newcomer to be surprised by what they find on this site. I actually think it would be strange for a newcomer to come to this site and think, "Oh yes, of course men dramatically outnumber women in seeking cuddles, and of course men pay women hundreds of dollars to lie around in bed for a while, that's exactly how I figured a cuddle website would work!"
@CuddleMeLater I really appreciate the way you explain your ideas. And I do feel like my personal space, the arms with which I wrap around a woman and the platonic care that I provide for her is very valuable. I do. I’m a protector. I’m a holder. I’m a comforter. I’m a listener. I’m respectful.
I completely understand your point and agree.
I also know that I have read some of your recent writings on the forum and have felt myself to be in agreement or at least could relate on some level. I feel like you are intentionally respectful and thoughtful. Thank you.
But a woman’s healing touch JUST IS regarded to have value in our culture. I don’t know why exactly. I have my opinions and ideas, but I don’t honestly know why.
Men struggle to earn money at selling their physical touch services frequently. While we usually prefer male doctors and dentists and I wouldn’t necessarily consider these touch services but they can be. There are some services where both males and females are accepted such as physical therapists and even nurses, however I would argue that we still prefer female nurses in general. We even still prefer female flight attendants and male pilots— why? I have no idea honestly. It seems we want women to be more in a serving/ service role and men to be in roles of authority.
However there is a place for both genders (I know there are more than two genders but that is another discussion entirely) in salons and barbershops. Once again, just preference.
And, without a doubt in my mind we all generally want female massage therapists, cuddlers, even female nail salon technicians, strippers, and various other illegal professions to have females being the ones offering the services.
I do find value in what we men can offer as a cuddler. With this being said, I won’t go to a male cuddler for free, let alone pay for one. Why is this? Am I the only one?
I summary of the above ideas, I agree with you and I also see things differently. You asked the question, “Why is a woman’s touch and affection more valuable and a man’s is not?” My answer is, It is not necessarily but we still pay female cuddlers and not male cuddlers. It’s probably along the lines of why do men’s words carry more weight in a business setting than woman’s. Why are there more male CEOs? I have no idea. It just IS at this stage in our society.
I feel like I have a lot to offer a woman in terms of cuddle time but they still don’t bring me gifts or offer me payment.
As I have looked around this site, I have seen a lot of younger, beautiful women. I have also seen a lot of average, middle aged men. Why is that? Now obviously, younger and beautiful doesn’t equate to quality of a therapeutic cuddler. With this thinking, it seems like older, more experienced women and men should dominate this site on the professional side but it’s just not the case. It would seem that experience, expertise, and certifications would be sought after but instead us men book with the young and the beautiful.
I completely see your viewpoint and I also see what is happening here.
Why is there gender disparity? I have no idea. It just is.
With all my trying to be logical, practical, and analytical here, I still just want the platonic companionship of a beautiful female. It shouldn’t matter but it does to me. And I am usually willing to pay them what they require for their time. I do value a woman’s healing touch over a man’s. I do regard a woman’s personal space as sacred. I am so grateful when a woman offers her open arms to me and I see this as a gift. It is a holy place.
I know this doesn’t make sense. These are just my feelings.
Best wishes to you all!
I could offer this suggestion... maybe women need financial help and men need physical touch help. And thus, a market is created.
Pro's i've cuddled with from this site needed me to provide place for meeting and sometimes to pay for her travel to me plus cost of session and i'd have my own travel to sort out and prep time and clear away afterwards. less costs with non-pros i met up with just less of enthusiast time spent on being there 4 me, it's more mutual platonic times & different feel.
@ChibiShema thanks for your kind words and your thoughts on cuddling.
However, again, those questions were rhetorical, meaning I wasn’t looking for answers to them. I’m just raising them to make the point that they are natural questions to ask, that it’s not irrational or entitled for a man to come to this site and think, “hey, wait a minute, why the heck do women expect me to pay them $100 to cuddle, my cuddles are worth something too!”
That’s is very valid.
@CuddleMeLater Thank you for your well thought out posts.
I have seen more then 1 Pro, say they raised there rates because of this virus mess we are in, is that a good business decision -??. I once went into a auto repair shop to get an est. for some work my truck that was needed, they told me that it would normally be a $250.00 repair, BUT, he added business has been very slow so I will need to charge you $350.00, I was shocked, and even asked him to repeat what he told me, I laughed and walked out !!!! I've been in my own business for over 37 yrs. now, sold one after 26 yrs. and now on my 2nd one, I have never ever had that thought come into my head. it's something to think about. Just my 2 cents worth