Since you have started cuddling whether it was an enthusiast or a professional how has your life improved? Are you using cuddling to grow and improve your life or are you just using it as an escape?
In one word - HUGELY.
Improve life or escape? That's an interesting one. I think both - initially as an escape, but it has become part of my wellbeing strategy (that's a bit grand!) alongside meditation and connecting with good people.
In my mind, it's a lovely escape. I don't really see it as a means of growing or improving my life in some transformative manner.
I think it has been a very positive thing for me. I find it very hard to put in words. I find if me & my cuddlier really feel comfortable and kind of gel together I find my mind wonders and I block out everything negative that I may be going thru at the time, I just had a great cuddle with a cracked rib and the pain of it just went away !!, it came back when I had to stand up, but during the cuddle it was a not an issue for me. I feel like I'm free to talk about anything, be it sad or happy. During some of my cuddles we have talked about sad things that we both have gone thru and it feels different then when I dwell on the same things all alone, some how it's up lifting when you can share you most inner thoughts with no fear of being judged. I have told things to my cuddlier partner that I have never told anyone in my life, I feel I can drop any and all walls, to just be open. I have answered questions that I have never been asked before and with out any fear of being judged. I really look forward to my next cuddle as soon as the one I'm in ends. I call it recharging my cuddle battery, which I have found it takes at least 2 hrs. and once a week !!!. I'm really looking forward to my 1st. overnight session, but kind of nervous about it. Best wishes to all for a better new year !!!!!
I enjoy it, however it is not a life changing event nor something I consider to be a piece of therapy for myself.
@waynewv - love the concept of recharging your cuddle battery!
Agree
Cuddling helped me recover from severe neuropathic pain a couple of years ago, so it's definitely changed my life for the better. That's a big reason why I got into pro cuddling in the first place!
After 12 years of being the primary caregiver for an aging parent that has since passed away, I was emotionally drained and completely unable to relate to women intimately in any authentic manner.
I stumbled across the concept of Platonic Cuddling 4 years ago when searching for a holistic method to recenter and find a new emotional normal for myself.
The most beneficial aspect of Platonic Cuddling for me has been my pre-cuddle conversations with my professional cuddle partners. Our conversations essentially helped me develop a personal understanding regarding the nuances between "intimacy vs romance," and "sensuality vs sexuality" allowing me to let go and enjoy the chemical euphoria I feel when cuddling and not confuse those feelings with traditional male/female attraction.
I seek out Professional Cuddlers like you with health care or holistic healing backgrounds in so far as we both tend to be tuned in to the restorative outcomes of Platonic Cuddling. The intimate and sensual aspects of Platonic Cuddling have restored me emotionally and helped me move towards a new emotional normal.
I'm one of those guys that has been wired to feel like I have to show a certain level of emotional strength in my romantic relationships that is not even remotely required with the Professional Cuddlers I've encountered. There is a different type of vulnerability I've allowed myself to express with my cuddle partners (visa vis my emotional and intimacy shortcomings) as opposed to women I've been romantically/sexually involved with.
Platonic Cuddling has been head and shoulders above mediation, massage therapy, or psychotherapy for me in restoring myself emotionally.
I'm looking forward to finding a new romantic partner moving forward and owe it to my Platonic Cuddling experiences.
It's helped me enormously.
It has reduced the amount of pain I feel. Physical pain I mean. Reduced anxiety. Takes me away from the stress for an hour, and improves my mood for hours or even days afterwards. Has allowed me to me some truly wonderful people.
It's given me a great morale boost, because I always wanted it to exist and it was therefore a great delight to find that it did. (From the ages of about 14 till a couple of years ago I did not understand why this was not a thing. I still don't understand why it's not a thing for most people.) It is a discovery of something new in the world, and at my age that's a great treat.
It has helped my ability to communicate emotions a little. It gives me something to look forward to. It has got me through two lockdowns so far.
It has not changed my life in the sense that nothing is radically different. But it has changed life in the sense that everything is a little bit less grim.
$$$$... jk. I just help people. that’s it.
I love to answer this question, because it has benefited me beyond financial gain. My physical health is better than its ever been. I use to have to take antibiotics for illness at least once a year, up to 3x. I havnt been sick at all since I started cuddling. Its been 4 years! Being in a parasympathetic state often, helps your stress levels and promotes your bodies natural healing. I am more grounded, find joy much easier, and my gratitude is through the roof. So I'd say my mental health is better as well. It has helped finesse my natural ability to seek understanding in people, and not be judgemental. Learning about others has helped me learn about myself as well. I'm truly honored to be able to cuddle so many different people, and to be afforded the time to do it.
@sage_wisdom careful you dont wanna trigger another thread about greedy women who dont care.....
@pmvines perhaps. but this is a safe place for people to express themselves. honestly, if people are so adamantly wanting to criticize others for something they have no say for. for people they don’t know the first thing about. let them. it says more about them than it does me. I don’t care if there is a spark. I know who I am and why I do things.
and that is not approval.
Cuddling has helped me feel at ease and in a very trying time lately it’s been hard to cuddle because those who “care” that are around me don’t understand why this is important to me.
It helps relieve stress and being relaxed can have health benefits and help you open up more etc.. depending on each person
I has helped build my body 12 ways. Oh wait, that was Wonder Bread.
I have benefited by having more physical and mental interaction and have learned a lot of new things that I probably would not have otherwise. New things like music, hobbies, places to travel, food. movies and more.
Cuddling as a concept is beautiful with all sorts of implications. Some therapeutic. Some traumatic.
For me it's been the latter mostly. It's been a knife that has opened old wounds that I spent over three decades working hard to heal.
Hence it hasn't added much value to my spirit or mental well being. I'm currently in the process of deleting myself from cuddling altogether.
I've found my deepest fulfillment in community service. In learning new ways of thinking and speaking and listening while serving. And I intend to continue to relentlessly pursue that area of endeavor. I'm more content.
I acknowledge the gift it has been and continue to be to many. And wish them continued happiness and joy exploring it as a recreational/ therapeutic activity. For those who can receive as well as give.
Cuddling is not for everyone. I discovered the hard way that it isn't for me.
I am forever grateful for having the privilege of meeting some very genuine and kind folks on here. I will always treasure the gift of the time and wisdom they shared.
I am equally grateful for the opportunity I had to enjoy this site. Especially these forums. I will always look back with fond memories on all the controversial posts I made. The connections I made through such posts. And just the luxury of being able to connect with the many people I was able to in a relatively short space of time. Many of whom I have only recently severed interaction with.
I've lost any desire to cuddle. I've felt tortured over and over and over by the impersonal convenience of being someone's transaction impromptu, on a whim. For a 10 minute conversation, or hours long text message, or months long email conversations. None of which encouraged or built meaningful or solid connections. None of which encouraged or supported a willingness to appreciate or acknowledge at the very least my unique humanity. None of which showed any interest whatsoever in balanced, respectful,honest conversation that made room for difference without blame, insult, or attack.
It was just another convenient conversation;cuddle to escape or soothe boredom and discomfort. To scratch an itch for human company and interaction. Another way to assert entitlement and privilege. At least that's how it felt for the most part.
Other times when the desire for thoughtful, honest and respectful conversation aligned it was a very fulfilling and rewarding experience. For which I'll be forever grateful.
I'm at a point in my life journey where connection for me means giving service and learning new mores and skills while doing so. That gives me much more joy and sense of self worth and value than merely communicating with someone to converse or cuddle. It means so much more.
However I'll always acknowledge the immense rewards for those with the gift and capability to give and receive. It's an awesome experience.
For me it's an experience I'm done with. And have chosen to walk away from.
And I have felt so much better, mentally and emotionally.
May the force of genuine care and compassion continue to bless this community. So that each one can thrive in his own unique way regardless of his circumstances.
Much love and respect to all.
Welcome back @Bles. Haven’t heard from you in a long time. I have found you to be the most honest, vulnerable and introspective poster here. I hope you find a reason to stay.
So far, it really hasn’t. Between the barrage of sexual advances and an assault, bullying in the forums from a handful of people, to no lasting connections to anyone within 300 miles from me, this site has been mostly yet another disappointment in an endless stream of life disappointments.
It’s done a few beneficial things for me. And I’m speaking as an enthusiast; not necessarily as a pro. You can be both, but even just being witness to conversations and a witness to this movement has changed a lot of my outlook.
• Getting comfortable with being in close physical contact (with permission) • Learning how I want to be held, or how others would like to be held • Learning to love and be with people where they’re at • Learning that not every overture I make needs to be aggressive (thanks, forums) • I’ve met some new people and heard lots of interesting stories • Even met a few online who I’d love to stop by and visit if I ever go on some travels • There are folks I couldn’t take with me on my journey who I will never forget • Having the chance to actually experience a genuine oxytocin high after a good cuddle • Getting involved in this community kick-started my desire to pursue a healing profession • Literally have found my purpose and place in this world (to go to school to study psychology and counselling), something I struggled to come to terms with for years • Learning that others don’t owe us their space • Knowing and teaching that yes means yes, no means no, “maybe” is never a yes, and seeing a handful of people take value in those words • Teaching me that I have triggers, such as physical touch from women (sexual abuse from a female matriarch of the family unknowingly gave me this fear - I didn’t know I had to heal it)
Despite me being on medication and other things that aid my mental health, I’d say my experiences on as a cuddler (not just at CC) have made me a better person overall than I used to be, if not a more conscientious person. Sure, I’m still crass, and I’m definitely not a woo-woo flower child selling snake oil (yet), but I truly believe cuddling is part of a larger philosophy around relation to others and self, and has a place in the healing professions as a modality of therapy.
It’s the reason I’m working on getting to uni now so I can finally work on what I’m meant to do. And I’d love to offer cuddling beside that at the permanent rate of $60, as a fully licensed mental health professional. Not only that, but I’d love to host free community gatherings via CC one day. People need this, and the ones who need it most need it to be accessible and affordable.
What can I say, it seems like it’s given an outlet to my passion!
This is why I’m here, and it’s why I pushed the site for free to locals a couple years back. I desperately want people to explore the possibility of removing sex and romance from intimate contact, for themselves, even just once. See what you can learn, or who you meet and connect with. I want people who need friendly touch in their lives to have a place they can come to in order to (hopefully) find a community that understands this need. I want them to go, “Hey, this ended up being a lot more than what I signed up for”.
The majority won’t have that experience getting into it, but hey, I can assure you that this site changed somebody’s life around in a handful of ways that contributed to their bigger picture. And then there’s me, hi.
When I can actually set up a cuddle session, it's nice! It puts me on an oxytocin high for at least a few days. My heart rate goes down and I feel super calm and happy. But it's tough to make it happen these days. I've always been careful about who I've met up with for my own safety, but now I'm also considering people's social bubbles as risk factors and making sure I keep up with Ontario's pandemic rules and follow them (so I can't meet up with people outside the city, like I used to).
I sought cuddling as a form of personal therapy. I'm a massage therapist, and I believe that there are parallels between MT and cuddling. What I notice for a startlingly large proportion of my clientele, is that people seem to block unpleasant muscle sensations in order to get through their day and function making a living, parenting, managing a household. Computers are notoriously brutal, and even sitting in chairs leads to chronic discomfort and the need for relief. In my work I bring awareness of these unpleasant sensations to the fore, as a necessary precondition to identify them and work on them. The relief doesn't end with feeling better physically. It manifests in better sleep, feeling more connected to their physical bodies, and better focus on health goals. Analogously spending time cuddling is like a reset on physical, emotional, and spiritual levels. It's not without some conflicts but I can point to increased calmness, better empathy for others, better sleep, increased focus afterwards. It may be hard to measure objectively but the bottom line is that before and after my goals and achievements are improved.
No Xanax needed this week to get to sleep at a reasonable time!!!
Cuddling has actually built my confidence. I was very shy when I was younger but cuddling enabled me to “break out of my shell” and become more open. Since I started cuddling, I have been more confident in my interactions with others. I’ve also started to accept my body the way it is. It’s fair to say that cuddling changed my life!
@TheMidnightOwl I just checked google maps in hopes i would find myself beyond 300 but im smack dab in the middle and i have to take blame for inaction ob my part. I strolled through your profile and i would love to just let our conversation take off. And i am so sorry that you were assaulted. I've cuddled once here and had the pleasure to meet a super genuine young lady. It's not worth cuddling if anyone feels uneasy or uncomfortable. I don't have girls, just 2 boys, but i would be a wreck knowing there are guys that have absolutely no problem hurting her. Maybe this site should do required cuddle groups before meeting in a less secure setting. I love random conversations and i don't limit it by having any specific intentions or goals. 480 569 55.. Hah you thought i was gonna give up all dem digits😏 Message if interested
@yosweetiepie
Im the same way, im hoping I can break through some of my social anxiety and shyness with cuddling. I just started with my 1st cuddle last week and it was fantastic.
@DarkLordChungus I agree with you on the LOVELY ESCAPE part.... the best part for me about cuddles (when done in a reasonable manner) is that it actually has benefits that INCREASE my immune system (like exercise or clean eating) instead of other escape options I use sometimes (like alcohol or herbs or work or CHOCOLATE or or or) ANYTHING TO DECREASE CORTISOL LEVELS for this old lady I say YES!!!
@Chrichri posted this in Mr. @respectful thread https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/2711/cuddling-discussions-and-resources#latest and It had some lovely tidbits. WELCOME TO THE SITE @Chrichri https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-cuddle
I liked this part quite a bit! Boosts immune system If you make Swedish massage part of your cuddling routine, your immune system will seriously up its game. Swedish massage is a massage technique that uses long, gliding strokes, firm kneading, and tapping. According to a 2010 study, people who received Swedish massage had:
more white blood cells that fight disease (lymphocytes) less of a hormone (arginine vasopressin) that increases the stress hormone cortisol a decrease in existing cortisol levels a decrease in cytokines that may cause inflammation
@midnightowl YOU ARE CORRECT It is a difficult thing to navigate but it has been extremely enjoyable finding a few GEMS out there amidst the rubbish. You just keep putting the yucky stuff aside with your newfound abilities of discernment.
I love what @Mmart said (NOT about the wonder bread!!) even besides the physical part of the connecting, there is such beauty in being open to new thoughts and ideas.... even just in the communication here and in private messages. There have been multiple people I have spoken with who are now feeling less isolated and during a pandemic that in and of itself makes this place a "LOVELY ESCAPE" Thank you again @Mark for being so forward thinking and fighting through all the ICKY stuff to help us have this beautiful platform of connection!!! YAY for @mark!!!!!
from @DonLonG my FAVORITE DON!!!!!!!!