A list of past discussions and other links related to cuddling.
Contacting other cuddlers
Being a good cuddler
How to cuddle
Who people cuddle
Your fellow cuddlers
Professional cuddling - part 2
The lighter side
How to approach this site
@Mailleweaver (post): Filling in your profile on a site like this is important for several reasons. It shows that you're willing to put forth the same effort that others have. It tells people something about who you are, not only in what you say, but also in what you don't say.
@Mailleweaver (post): Showing genuine interest means putting more in your first message than "hi wanna cddle?" Don't even mention cuddling to begin with. We all know why we're here, so there's no need to push things. Find a connection first.
Beware of hijacked profiles
@quietman775 (post) The thing about copying is that it's not merely lazy and unethical: once potential clients realize someone's "self-description" is stolen, they naturally wonder if anything that person says is true.
What interests women in a man's profile?
@BlueIris (post): Women are looking for things that make them feel safe with a total stranger. I think you'd be better off to say why you want to cuddle, what you hope to get out of it, and say something about your character traits (honesty, sincerity, kindness) that would make a woman feel like you'd be worth meeting.
What interests men in a woman's profile?
@Mailleweaver (post): I want to know what they think of themselves through more than just a list of adjectives. Someone who is self-aware and confident enough to share that awareness (even if it's awareness of shyness or emotional trouble) is much more likely to have empathy and understanding than someone who isn't. It indicates capacity for connection.
What do you like to see on a pro's profile?
@quietman775 (post): Sometimes short and memorable is better than telling your whole life story in a profile. You might be trying to warm the heart of the reader, or fascinate/intrigue him, or reassure the skeptical [...] The best thing you can do, in my view, is not sound like a bland amalgam of every other profile
Provocative photos in profiles
@respectful (post): Think carefully about the message your profile photo might give people. If it features a lot of cleavage, visible underwear, etc. (or bare chests for men), it starts to wander away the "platonic" realm.
Would you cuddle users without pictures?
@Grace_Anna (post): Taking my picture down has not stopped me from getting messages. I do, however, mention that I will gladly exchange profile pictures before meeting.
@willmott2k10 (post): Personally I refuse to message anyone who doesn't have a picture up, I wouldn't say I'm that concerned about looks but at the same time there's just something about messaging someone with the hope of maybe cuddling them but not even knowing what they look like that I don't like.
Why some people may choose to not upload their photo
@snughugs (post): Some reasons why people might not post public photos: People who have past experiences with stalkers [...] People who do not share this aspect of their lives with their friends and family [...] People who know another user in real life and don't want to be recognized by them [...] People who are just testing the waters to see how they like the site before putting their face out there [...] People who prefer to only share their photos with people they know they get on well with.
Seeking your opinion: why not a better response?
@Greybeard (post): If you feel you MUST post some preferences for partners in your profile, own them. Please don't put your preference on the other person. Instead of "prefer non-full figure/BBW," you could just as well say, "My preference leans towards fit and slender cuddle partners." Now you haven't said that there is anything WRONG with that BBW member ... the middle "B" does stand for beautiful, after all.
@Mark (post): Please let me know some of the facts you'd like people to have on their profile that you would consider helpful when finding a cuddle buddy here.
Finding a cuddle companion (blog)
@BlueIris: It's good to get an idea of your prospective cuddle companion's cuddling experience. If he's never been with a professional cuddler and never been to parties, it's important to make sure that he's read the Client Service Agreement. If you're not a professional cuddler, you should go over rules and boundaries before a cuddle.
How to approach a woman as a potential cuddle buddy (blog)
@BlueIris: It's not complicated. If you're sending a message to an enthusiast, be friendly, be nice and make an effort to get to know her first before bringing up cuddling.
How to approach someone as a potential cuddle buddy
@BlueIris (post): Anyone who approaches me like I'm a pro -- first message simply stating they want to cuddle and when am I available -- is going to put me off.
How to introduce yourself to non pros
@SJSpooner (post): Approach someone as you would any new potential friend in a social situation. Make sure you have looked at their profile and know something about them [...] Most women are not going to cuddle with just any man. I know that I need to feel like we have a certain level of communication and rapport that works for me [...] Approach and treat women as human beings in female form.
How women screen for cuddle pals
@Scarlette (post): The cuddle requests that stand out to me are the ones that are genuine. The ones that are honest. It's okay to say that you've never cuddled like this before. It's ok to say that you are scared or nervous. It's ok to take the time to get to know me before climbing into my bed to cuddle. It's okay to ask a million questions. Spelling and grammar doesn't matter to me as much as being respectful and kind.
How long do you wait before meeting in person?
@BlueIris (post): I like to determine compatibility as much as possible before making the effort of a public meet. I can usually tell within a few messages. I prefer at least one Skype so I'll know the guy isn't tongue tied and can have an actual conversation.
How many message exchanges take place before you meet up with a non-professional?
@LonelyMedicProf (post): It depends on the two parties involved; if one party is interested in being able to rapidly progress to the cuddling point, then they should always keep in mind how the other party might be feeling. Look for clues in what they say, and in how they talk.
Men, how do you feel about sending messages that end up getting ignored?
@SnuggleSymmetry (post): A big thanks to the women who actually do respond here at CC. You're polite and kind. You know who you are and you rock!
Nobody replies to me
@willmott2k10 (post): People not replying on here is unfortunately quite common so don't take it personally as chances are it's not you! If you want to increase your chances of getting a reply though, here's a few tips [...] 1) Don't immediately ask for a cuddle buddy [...] 2) Include as much info on your profile as possible, but at the same time obviously don't have an essay to read through [...] 3) Get to know them and show interest in what they like.
Non responsive Pros/Non-Pros
@reurbo (post): From a moderation standpoint here's what I've come across for the reasons Pros and/or women of the site do not respond: (1) they haven't been back to the site ... (2) sudden floods of messages ... (3) they forget to respond ... (4) career Pros may devote more time to reading and responding to messages ... (5) asking for same-day sessions regularly get ignored ... (6) having the bare minimum of a profile filled out with no photo ... (7) previous experience of backlash after declining ... (8) grammar and spelling ... (9) questions already answered on their profile ... (10) no site member (Pro or not) is required to respond to anyone.
How long did it take everyone to meet someone for a cuddle??
@mrcuddleuk (post): I was wondering how long it took for everyone to arrange their first cuddle meeting?
@clumsycuddler (post): If I politely refuse to cuddle with you, I do not have to justify my actions [...] Whether I choose to keep my reasons to myself or not is my choice. If I say no and you repeatedly message me [...] it will not change my mind. No amount of money or praise will either [...] Take no for an answer.
@willmott2k10 (post): Ultimately, I think there's really only two things you can do when meeting someone from here for the first time: tell someone where you're going, and meet in a public place. Realistically, the only other thing you could do is bring someone along with you, and that's just going to spoil the mood if it turns out whoever you're meeting is the real deal ... I think really the best thing you can do is to really chat and get to know each other beforehand and use your instincts to determine if you should meet them or not based on how your chats go.
How would you ask someone you know if they'd like to cuddle who isn't acquainted with it?
@GeekCuddles (post): Arrange a nice coffee or tea session at your place [...] and tell them about your interest in platonic cuddling. Don't make it about soliciting them into a session but more judging their acceptance of the practice. It might be good to read through some of the more scientific studies to be able to best explain the benefits.
What makes a good cuddler?
@SexyBrit (post): I think that the keys are communication, being responsive and reciprocation. Communicate what you like and dislike. Let your cuddler know if you like what they are doing (in an appropriate way lol), don't be a dead fish! Return the touch and affection.
@Scarlette (post): I just had an incredible cuddle with a popular cuddle client with a TON of experience with professional cuddlers. He summed it up nicely when he said that what makes me a good cuddler is that I obviously love it as much as he does. [...] It's being tuned in with your partner and just loving being in the moment. I think what makes me a good cuddler is because it's my favorite thing to do.
What makes a good cuddler? (blog)
@BlueIris: 1. Reciprocation, 2. Responsiveness, 3. Know Your Partner’s Preferences, 4. Creative Use of Hands, 5. Your Partner’s Responsiveness, 6. Turning the Tables, 7. Creative Cuddling, 8. Communicate, 9. Be Open to New Ideas, 10. Enthusiasm, 11. Focus On Your Partner, 12. Be Respectful of Boundaries.
What have pros done to give you an over the top experience?!
@Morpheus (post): The best most amazing things that pros have done for me is when they truly enjoy my company, the session we are having and express that. They can express their enjoyment in many ways such as sighs of contentment, verbally with words or simply just the look in their eyes. I've had pros stay on their own time after the paid time was over simply because they were enjoying my company. You have no idea how special that makes a client feel.
Giver or receiver
@BlueIris (post): Do you tend to be more of a giver or receiver? Of course we are all both, at one time or another. But by nature, I tend to want to be more active: the giver. I like to be touching, caressing and squeezing with my hands or running fingers through hair. But when my cuddle pal wants to take over, I am totally happy with soaking it all up!
Asking for things
@respectful (post): How are you at asking for things when you cuddle? Or do you just cuddle and see what happens?
Is affection a core emotion ingredient of cuddling?
@Thellie (post): I see cuddling as a form of psycho-social-physical nurturing [...] So long as I feel safe with that person, nurturing affection comes naturally, and it's that feeling that I look for in a good cuddle.
@Brandi (post): I love eye contact [...] I was nervous at first, but after falling into the relaxation of it, and the trust and bond of that other person, it's really sweet and special [...] looking into someones eyes is almost like connecting your guys souls together I feel like and its just intense.
@reurbo (post): Holding hands and foreheads together and talking is also amazing and intimate... it's one of those positions, for me, that shrinks the entire world down to just you and that person to enjoy the comfort with them and focus on nothing else but that moment.
Types/positions of appropriate cuddling
@Morpheus (post): My personal favorite is girl laying on top of me with her head resting on my chest. Leaves both of your hands free to run her back or massage her head.
My best advice to a newbie is to go into the cuddle with the best of intentions and you should be fine. Girls are intuitive and can tell what your intentions are and they'll tell you if you're doing something they don't like. I've seen 25 pros and have only had one tell me to stop doing something. I touched her ear and she told me she didn't like her ears being touched.
What's your favorite kind of cuddling?
@angela10 (post): As a woman, I would like to start out with hand holding. Somehow when a man places his hand on mine makes me feel secure and non-threatening. Once both parties are comfortable with that then you can ease into leaning, hugging and etc.
@hugs4urehealth (post): I love being the spoon and the other person caressing my back, neck and head. Holding hands is amazing and caressing arms, legs and face is a great way to feel connected and alive. Platonic cuddling is such a gift. Every moment counts. Helping another feel nurtured and filled up is a great way to love in a non sexual way.
Super tight squeeze
@liao51 (post): I am curious if I am the only one who likes ridiculously tight cuddles. Sometimes I think I may have some sensory issues, as this calms me down and my head clears. The best is when I am completely wrapped up with both arms and legs, completely enveloped.
Nicole's guide to Cuddling (polytickle)
Specific techniquess, advice, etc to help make your cuddling more cuddly. 1. Relax! 2. Use pillows 3. Use your hands 4. Cuddle hugs 5. Take cues from your partner 6. Match their breathing.
[...] A few cuddling positions. 1. Spooning 2. Stomach/chest pillow 3. Facing.
Describe your IDEAL cuddle session...
@quietman775 (post): My ideal cuddle can only happen with someone I've cuddled before. That way, there is no need for tentative getting-to-know-you discussions of expectations and boundaries; no subliminal fears, no need to call someone for a safety check afterward. The trust is implicit and the comfort level is high, so there is nothing to impede the desired experience.
We enjoy the closeness, the warmth, the support, the uncomplicated nature of totally relaxed and loving platonic contact. It's fun, soothing, and energizing too. When we are done, we walk each other to the door, share a long goodbye hug, and plan our next visit. We part feeling like we've had a mini-vacation, and are ready to face the world again.
What puts you at ease?
@Sweetandsnug (post): Prior to our appointment I like to check whether they prefer minimal contact [...] or full contact [...]. People seek out touch for a number of reasons and for many those very same reasons are why they may experience discomfort, though they desire the intimacy of connecting with another person.
What do you like to do while cuddling?
@michael_j (post): What do you all like to do while cuddling? Movies, television, music, conversation, or just silence?
@Morpheus (post): I like to cuddle when I cuddle.
Improving your cuddling experience?
@bruin_alum (post): Cuddling is so personal and so intimate to many of us, that we want to feel a real, meaningful, and personal connection. [...] So, if I were a pro, that is where my concentration would be -- making sure my clients know I am connected to them and the time we would spend together means more than a paycheck to me.
@titiana (post): I recently read the book of The 5 Love Languages and I came up with this idea, about how fulfilling it would be if you can do something that your partner likes the most based on their love languages.
People could have words of affirmation as their primary love language, so it means that by saying nice things such as giving compliments or telling how grateful you are to have them as your cuddle partner will bring the cuddle experience up to higher level.
Music for cuddling
@Kaiterpillar (post): I think I would accept most any music request, as long as it didn't give me a headache! Other basic ideas are jazz/blues stations, classical stations, soundscapes, etc
@waywardchild80 (post) I love to sing, if I listened to music while cuddling I would probably be singing along the whole time. The one cuddle session I had where we listened to music it was meditation music and nature sounds. It was very relaxing and blended into the background.
Importance of hygiene for cuddles
@choicesvital (post): I reached out to all my cuddler friends and ask what each of them expects from their cuddle buddies when it comes to good hygiene.
@BlueIris (post): Public cuddling would be PDA without kissing. The rest is the same: hand holding, arms around waist and shoulder while walking side by side, sitting on a park bench with arm around shoulders and head resting on shoulder. If you're at a park with a blanket and are lying down, snuggling up next to one another, arms around each other.
Best public places to cuddle
@everyreverie (post): Parks, theaters, and restaurants [...] Walking through malls, concerts, sporting events, floating a river/water park, parade/fair, dog walk, or sightseeing and sunset/sunrise cuddles. The possibilities are endless.
Great public cuddle locations
@tallteddy (post): The answer is the tour boat. For an hour you'll sit dry and warm, enjoying all the sites to see in Amsterdam. The seats are perfect to sit together and wrap an arm around your buddy.
US state comparisons (color coded)
@respectful (post): the number of cuddlers in each state [...] percentage of female members [...] percentage of users in each state who are professionals [...] percentage of the population of each state who are members of Cuddle Comfort [...] the number of cuddlers per square mile.
@respectful (post): And here's the data by country (86 countries, excluding 42 with just one member)
Some stats about female professionals (including world map)
@respectful (post): Here are some statistics for 1439 female professionals who cuddle men.
Stats for male professionals
@respectful (post): Search returned 62 male professionals worldwide. Some stats ...
Country stats for enthusiasts (with maps)
@respectful (post): Here is where all the non-professionals are in the world.
Stats for active cuddlers in California and Nevada
@respectful (post): Some statistics for cuddlers in a couple of states, California and Nevada.
Stats for cuddlers in Australia and New Zealand
@respectful (post): Locations of cuddlers in Australia and New Zealand.
Cuddle connections world map
@respectful (post): If you draw lines between the locations of people who have left karma comments, this is what you get.
Stats for male and female age preferences
@respectful (post): 75% of women have no stated age preference [...] 82% of men have no stated age preference.
Stats over one month (new and deleted users etc)
@respectful (post): Comparing people online yesterday to a month ago ... 3864 new people, 22% women. 1 in 4 of the women are new professionals ... About 100 people deactivated their account ... 250 deleted their account ... 90 had their accounts banned ... 16 are suspended.
@respectful (post): Graph of the number of people who joined each month since the beginning [...] There was a big jump in August-September 2017.
Looks like there's dozens joining per day...
@respectful (post): between the middle of June and July (2018) [...] 3158 new members were from the US (82%) [...] At least one person joined from every US state
A few forum stats
@respectful (post): On the General forum, there have been over 1000 discussions and 20000 posts since October 2013.
Some user name stats
@respectful (post): About 1 in 5 user names include "cuddl", "snuggl" or "hug"
@cudguy76 (post): We spent the first 25'ish minutes reviewing the code of conduct and playing boundary establishing and honesty/trust enabling "games". We took turns asking for specific kinds of touch, one we wanted to receive and one we wanted to give. We also practiced saying "no". I did not expect this part but found it to be a wonderful way to begin. The remaining hour was one of the most relaxing and emotionally reinforcing I've experienced in years.
@pmvines (post): The lady had nowhere to go and had been sleeping on the street. Also was a prostitute. I took her to get some food and got a cheap room in the area so she would have a safe place to be for the night and wash up etc. I stuck around in the room talking, and getting to know more about her situation and about her life.
She said she was really sore so I rubbed her neck and back, and she went into a hugging/spooning position so just kind of went with it. We were clothed, and nothing sexual, though she offered out of habit due to being a prostitute. After about an hr of this I left, and she gave me a big hug and started to get teary, and said that was the first time she had been treated like an actual person and had been touched for her benefit and not for sex in a long time.
@Scarlette (post): I had cuddled with this client on a previous cuddle trip. [...] Basically, he asked me to help him deal with a life long issue that he has been battling. I happily agreed and we got to cuddlin. I held him like I held my children when they were young. I spoke gently and lovingly. Over the next 3 hrs he opened up, and cried and laughed. He said he had breakthroughs that he's never had in all his years of therapy.
@reurbo (post): I just got home from a 2 week road trip, during which I met with 2 Pro cuddlers in different cities. Both were incredible, both had a great rejuvenating energy about them, and I loved every minute getting to spend with them. We watched a couple movies, talked about everything from religion to science to relationships and more, had hot chocolate and chilled chocolate pieces, had my hair washed and got a scalp massage, and had some of the best cuddles I've had in one too many years.
It's funny... it wasn't until after my first cuddle session through here that I realized how bad I needed someone to cuddle with. For the first time in a long time after the person I cuddled with left, I didn't feel alone and have that feeling of still needing to hold someone and to be held by someone. Both were truly healing cuddle sessions ^_^
In praise of cuddling (my story)
@frankparker9 (post): In our first session, Jamie insisted that we follow cuddle party protocol[...] Practicing this kind of asking and answering was amazing in more ways than I can count. Receiving consent to give someone a back massage, say, is fun - especially someone you've already started to like and appreciate as a person. Asking and hearing "yes... yes... yes..." feels great. It also establishes consent as the basis for cuddling.
It's not just two people avoiding sexual contact together, it's two people doing exactly what they both want to do, within the broader cuddle container of platonic touch. [...] Being able to hear "no," and say "no" when you don't want something, is important even in the safest environment. AND, when you are both good at saying "no," it means the "yes" is real. You both know that what you're doing is wanted, and you know it's known that it's wanted.
I use "asking to touch" in everyday situations, and it's changed how I navigate physical affection. If someone is upset, I'll ask, "Would you like a hug?" Sometimes the response is a look of surprise, followed by, "yes!"
Terms of service
You agree to never use this Website for the intent of meeting another member for sex. You also agree to never attempt to progress a meeting, organised via this website, to a sexual nature.
When communicating with another member, you agree to never indicate a desire to cuddle while doing any of the following: (1) being nude, (2) wearing only underwear, (3) kissing, (4) groping, (5) satisfying a fetish or kink, and (6) anything of a non-platonic nature.
Client Service Agreement
1) No sexual activity is permitted.
2) Both parties will remain clothed the entire session. Undergarments do not constitute as sufficient clothing.
3) No touching in areas covered by undergarments is permitted. [...] No kissing is allowed.
@Sunflowerfield (post): There are a lot of people who come on websites like this looking for a date. There are a few ways you could deal with this problem.
1. Avoid men who give physical compliments (e.g. men who send messages like, "You've got such a pretty smile" or "You look sexy")
2. Make it clear you're only looking for something non-romantic and non-sexual.
3. Meet up with them a few times in a public place before actually cuddling
How to cuddle?
@Andrew (post): Encouragement should be given to say "no" with any aspect that they are not fully comfortable with. The word "pause" is a useful word to agree to, pause means don't remove your hands but don't move them around further just now.
Tips on Staying Safe?
@BlueIris (post): Have a conversation with your intended cuddler for a few weeks. The more you talk, the more you should be put at ease. Or, conversely, the more you talk, the more the other person raises red flags, in which case they have just weeded themselves out.
@Scarlette (post): Cuddling is definitely a calculated risk [...] I can decline to enter a particular area or decline a particular cuddle. I can leave if I feel unsafe or threatened. I always prefer to host, as it makes me feel safer having my safety nets in place in my home.
Reporting someone for non-platonic advances
@Parad0x (post): the best way to ensure this doesn't happen is to keep to the rules. No discussions of sex during or before a cuddle session, no suggestions, implications, or inferences that any "extra services" may be available, expected, or welcomed. [...] If two people are cuddling and one or both feel an emotional connection or desire for sex, that discussion can take place another time once passions have cooled.
When your cuddle partner becomes attracted to you
@willmott2k10 (post): There is quite a difference between feeling aroused whilst cuddling up and feeling sexually attracted to the person you're cuddling, becoming aroused whilst cuddling up is actually quite normal, not saying it happens to everyone but by itself it doesn't necessarily imply anything; I myself have felt aroused while cuddling up on multiple occasions, but at those times I didn't feel any sexual desires as such.
@Scarlette (post): Honestly, I find this to be a fairly common occurrence. Both the arousal part and the attraction part. Cuddle is an extremely intimate situation. It's one where you are physically and mentally and emotionally comfortable with your cuddler.
With all that being said, I think the attraction isn't so much a sexual attraction as it is an intense bond. I almost find that the relationships that I have established with my regular cuddles are almost of a best friend/sibling nature. We share an intimate bond and they have grown used to having me in their lives. So, there is definitely an attraction but not sexual.
New to this, and I have a concern...
@GoodHands (post): One thing I've noticed is that having purely platonic sessions with the same person over time produces a little less of the old automatic body response. It's easier to relax as the novelty of intertwining limbs with this woman wears off. Not to say the reflex ever goes away, but it does calm down a bit. And compression shorts seem to deal adequately with the rest.
@Morpheus (post): I've dramatically changed my approach in dealing with pros. I still enjoy them and treat them nicely but I accept that regardless of how amazing it may seem and how amazing you may get along with them, it's in the end, a client provider relationship.
@Aiko (post): We as women are very instinctual and can tell when a guy may like us a little too much. I haven't pro cuddled in a while but when I did, I went out to eat with several of my clients off the clock before or after a cuddle session. If I had the time, I never saw it as a big deal. If I trusted them, I would even let them follow me on social media and never had issues trading texts or an occasional phone call here and there. I'm a social person and love people and loved my clients. I always made it clear to them that I was not their girlfriend so certain behavior wasn't acceptable.
Psychological effects of cuddling?
@quietman775 (post): One of the reasons I gravitate toward pros is to avoid any possibility of emotional complications. A pro is providing a paid service. Does she make me feel appreciated? Valued? Loved? Yes. That's part of the service. Just don't confuse "she makes me feel loved" with "she loves me." It's easier to keep that straight with a pro.
Being demanding or grateful
@respectful (post): The need for touch and affection is legitimate, and there is nothing wrong with feeling that, but it's important to take responsibility for those emotions and not put them on another person in a demanding kind of way [...] Cuddling is a precious gift (even when it is paid for), and gifts can't be demanded. The person you cuddle is letting you into their personal space, making themselves vulnerable and freely giving of their time, their trust and their touch.
Cuddling those in relationships
@Lovelight (post): Personally, I know I wouldn't be cuddling even 'platonically' with someone [...] if I am in a relationship. I prefer someone single not because I want more though because I want to avoid any drama and misunderstanding that may arise with the other person's partner.
Cuddlers in relationships
@reurbo (post): She had a medical condition [...] which being held helped [...] I made sure her husband knew who I was and that I wasn't going to try anything before we met. So in that instance it was her SO couldn't be there all the time and wanted her to have a person or people she could cuddle with to help.
First, I will make sure my wife meets them and is comfortable with them. If at any time, she expresses concerns, the cuddling is over. Secondly, cuddling will only happen when she is in the room or close by enough that crossing a line would be impossible without her knowing about it.
It seems to me that this kind of thing has to be unique for every couple, but the bottom line is that it must be a tool to strengthen the marriage, not go around it. So my answer to your question is that it can be cheating, if your wife is not only aware of what your doing, but in complete agreement.
Men who don't cuddle men, why not?
@pmvines (post) I have no problem at all hugging, embracing, momentarily holding a hand, etc of a man, however that is different than lounging for a long term cuddle session.
Age and cuddling
@BlueIris (post): In my experience there's a huge difference between a 20 year old and a 30 year old. There's a negligible amount of difference between a 30 year old and a 40 year old. The men in their 20s who contact me act more like teenagers than young men. They're much less in control of their hormones and responses. Although I have two regular cuddlers who are in their 20s, I much prefer men who are over 40. There's a lot to be said for maturity and experience.
@ubergigglefritz (post): Age shouldn't be an issue as much as just personality. A lot of the clients are older men, a lot of the pros are younger women. Seems inevitable...
Getting a lot of messages from people much older than me
@quietman775 (post): Age doesn't matter in any absolute sense, but if it matters to you, then choose accordingly. Perhaps your comfort zone will expand over time as your confidence grows.
How much older of a person will you cuddle with?
@Sunflowerfield (post): I do think that one thing a lot of older men don't really take into consideration is that younger women may feel more vulnerable and that there is more of a power imbalance.
@peacesnuggles (post): From my experience so far I have only cuddled older gentlemen, like much much older. I think I prefer cuddling this way than with men my age and especially more than with men younger than me. I feel like older men are more respectful and considerate, older men seem to be more genuine and straight forward. Younger men seem to want a relationship or ask relationship type questions or they want sex.
@JRose (post): Just want to leave a warm welcome for all new members! So glad you found Cuddle Comfort! I love cuddling and I love this site. Been here almost a year and have had many wonderful experiences. May you all enjoy lots of wonderful new connections, experiences and cuddles.
@respectful (post) Just for interest, I thought I'd interview some people ...
Survey: reason for joining
@mjg (post): While I truly love to be on the receiving end of some good cuddling, I believe that there is as much satisfaction in knowing my partners are enjoying themselves. To give that comfort to another is something I strive for.
Motivations for being on this site
@trackcoachred (post): This offers the opportunity to both enjoy physical touch and to have the luxury of getting to know someone in a relaxed environment [...] There is something about learning from someone, sharing with them and enjoying the gentleness of touch that I really enjoy.
How did people pick their user names?
@catloaf (post): A catloaf is a shape assumed by a rather contented feline.
The best "I like to cuddle while" examples
@tallteddy (post): What are some of the best "I like to cuddle while" phrases you've seen on the site?
What do you wish others knew or understood about you?
@I_am_Polylover (post): I guess the only thing I really want someone to understand about me is that I will always endeavor to approach/interact with them from a point of love. I think I am happiest when I am in the company of a loving, touchy woman, especially when we are on the same page spiritually.
Would anyone like to share something about themselves?
@Scarlette (post): I seriously want to squeeze everyone on this thread right now!!! I feel like after all these years I've finally found my tribe. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, or so they say. You guys are best! Love and hugs to every one of you!
Something people might be surprised to know about you
@Vickie (post): I actually care about people. I want to know how you are when I ask. I want to know what makes one happy, sad, anxious, delighted, scared...I want to know what that person is thinking, feeling, wanting, not wanting...
What do you do when not cuddling?
@AlexBabyBoo23 (post): Wow! I've enjoyed reading about all of you. What a diverse group of interests, talents, and over achieving/giving individuals!
Do you collect stuff?
@Ham92 (post): I collect postcards from around the world. Each time I get one, I try and learn something about the place, and if it's not an English speaking country, I try to learn some of their phrases I think it comes from my love of traveling and wanting to learn about the world.
What are you doing right now?
@JFGreen (post): I am at work but thinking of my most recent cuddle and cuddler.
@AndiCuddles (post): I was thinking that it would be fun to have a picture thread for those of us who don’t mind sharing pictures of ourselves.
How does cuddling benefit you?
@Brandi (post): Cudding benefits me in gosh so many ways that I didn't realise it would. People come to pros but I feel so blessed to be able to be helped daily by you guys .
It encourages me to learn how to help others in ways I didn't even know I could help them. It motivates me to be kind to every stranger, and to open my eyes for small beauty that is nearly ignored everyday And its also beneficial for me to chill the heck out.
To get to know someone on such a deep connection on one of the first times meeting [...] the genuine love that fills the room, its all so beautiful to me.
@deleteduser (post): Post three words that personify your experience cuddling.
Average length of a cuddle session
@chococuddles (post): 2 hours is just about right. 1 hour is like giving me one McDonalds french fry if I'm starving. 3 hours is like giving me a large order of fries and another side order of fries. More than plenty. Tho with the right person I guess I can eat some extra fries.
@Scarlette (post): As my cuddle buddies can attest, I am definitely not a clock watcher! I don't wear a watch, I don't set an alarm and I don't check my phone. I will glance at the a clock once in awhile as we change positions. I'm a professional cuddler, first and foremost, because I LOVE TO CUDDLE. If someone books an hour cuddle and the energy is right and we are enjoying ourselves I have no problem going 2 hours (no charge). I recently had a 6 hour cuddle that went to 7 because we just weren't done cuddling. My longest cuddle was 12 hours (involved movie watching and pizza in bed. Fabulous cuddle!)
How many positions during a session?
@JennyBee (post): I love changing positions and making sure both people are comfy, but there's a point where if you're constantly switching around it ruins the flow of the session a bit. Plus you can always do smaller body changes within the same position. For example, if we're facing each other we can hug, or I can stroke your arm, or whatever, which disrupts the flow less.
How far would you travel to visit a cuddle companion?
@BlueIris (post): I'd definitely drive all day to see someone if I were intrigued enough and thought we were a good match.
What to wear when cuddling?
@greenearth2 (post): One thing that sucks is when pros where jeans or long sleeve shirts...
What clients want pros to wear and why
@Morpheus (post): I said in another thread recently that skin on skin contact is an amazing way to exchange positive healing energy. For example, if I hire a massage therapist, I don't want the therapist to wear gloves. If a pro cuddler wears shorts and a tank top and we do the same, that provides plenty of skin on skin contact while still not crossing lines that cuddling in undergarments presents.
@Mailleweaver (post): It seems that most people think crying has to mean someone is sad or upset. That's not necessarily the case. It can simply be a release of intense emotion [...] It's something that happens when someone feels comforted to the point that they can let their guard down.
The varying experiences between genders
@me2 (post) I think the two main phenomena of broken societal relationships that occur here are; many men who are touch deprived, and women who fear for their safety. I see this as two sides of the same coin
Name one thing you (LOVE) about the opposite sex
@BlueIris (post): I love it when a man can be a leader without being a dictator. I love that he can be physically stronger than me and make me feel safe and not afraid. I love it when a man trusts me enough to show me his vulnerabilities. That's when I feel closest to him, and it makes me want to take him in my arms and show him that I accept him in every way.
Plato and the philosophical end and nature of cuddling
@reurbo (post) If the intention of both people is to form a platonic friendship of cuddling, talking, and spending time together with the known limit to both that nothing will go any further than this, it can work out well ... If one person goes into the session with even a small hope of it becoming something more though, it can lead to a disaster.
Friends and family reactions
@Brandi (post) Once I stopped "hiding" cuddling from my friends/family who I thought would be judgemental, I ended up feeling so much better about it.
What to say to combat platonic cuddling controversy
@cuddlebugTM (post): I gave them an example of people in hospitals and elder care homes having animals come in to cuddle and pet has shown to help patients. They tend to heal faster and be in better spirits. How much more would you get if it's a person there to not just cuddle for that physical non sexual touch. But provides that connection but you can actually talk to, share what you are feeling or just have a stimulating conversation with. It's about comfort, support and companionship that we all need.
Answering people who have doubts about cuddling
@respectful (post) What are some specific doubts / objections people might have about cuddling, and what is a helpful, positive answer to give them?
Any other good cuddle websites?
@Morpheus (post): Anyone can potentially be a cuddle buddy so anywhere and anyway you can meet someone can be an avenue to a cuddle buddy. This is the only cuddle site I know of where you can meet a non pro, the other sites such as snugglebuddies and cuddlecompanions only list pros.
Cuddle Sanctuary blog
@HugsFromFei (blog post): When I first learned about professional cuddling, I knew that was the perfect job for me. Because it was such a new industry at the time, there weren't any options for training as I set out on my career. I had to learn some things the hard way, and quite truthfully almost didn’t make it.
Benifits of cuddling (cuddlegarden)
@BlueIris: Cuddling has been scientifically proven to reduce stress, strengthen the immune system, reduce aggression, lower blood pressure, alleviate depression, reduce anxiety and relieve insomnia. Body contact with another person releases a chemical in the brain called oxytocin, which is also known as the "feel good" hormone, resulting in feelings of well being.
8 ways science reveals that hugging creates a physiological ressponse equivalent to drugs
1) Reduce worry of mortality, 2) Stimulates oxytocin, 3) Lowers heart rate, 4) Stimulates dopamine, 5) Stimulates seratonin, 6) Well-hugged babies are less stressed as adults, 7) Parasympathetic balance, 8) Enhanced immune system.
Reframing Touch, an excellent article
@JRose (post): I recently found this fantastic article which I think we could all benefit from reading. Please take a moment to check it out & share if you like: How a Lack of Touch is Destroying Men. I find it so valuable that I have updated my profile to include this link.
Articles on the therapeutic value of cuddling
@docgatorb (post): This thread is to share articles about the therapeutic value of cuddling. Particularly valued are articles which present scientific evidence.
Adding gentle touch to snuggling
@cuddleaddicted (post): Samantha Hess's new book Touch is a remarkable book. [...] Much relevant text and great snuggle position pics, descriptions and instructions. Read especially Chapter 4 on touch, which I call "gentle touch" in place of the more romantic seeming term "caress". Added to snuggling, adds an unbelievable addition to snuggling alone.
Samantha Hess article
In our culture, the only experience someone has with this kind of touching has been in a romantic sense [...] It's not always easy for people to switch their brains to simply being platonic about it.
School of consent
Resources such as the wheel of consent (pdf).
12 frequently asked questions about platonic cuddling (Cuddle Central)
1) How do I set appropriate boundaries?
2) How do you deal with people looking to date?
3) How do you manage sexual attraction and/or arousal?
4) What if one or both of us experience romantic feelings?
5) What should I consider when organising a group cuddle event or "cuddle party"?
6) Does it have to involve spooning or cuddling in bed?
7) Should I cuddle with someone who is married or partnered?
8) How often should I meet up with them?
9) How do I find a platonic cuddle buddy?
10) Why is it so hard to find a platonic cuddle buddy?
11) How can I stay safe when looking for a cuddle buddy?
12) What traits should I look for in a good cuddle buddy?
Become a professional cuddler
Requirements: You have a photo; can be affectionate to anyone; accepting of all races, ages, genders, and sexual orientations; reliable with strong interpersonal and communication skills; understand and agree to the Cuddler Contract.
Our members directly approach you through our website and it's your choice who you accept with no pressure from us. This means you can slowly build your clientele with only those you feel most comfortable with.
PRO FEMALES: Is there an "emotional labor" aspect to this service?
@GeekCuddles (post): It can be relaxing and enjoyable. But that is usually bracketed with emotional stress and worry. "Am I judging this client correctly?" "Will they follow the client agreement?" "Will they try to push boundaries."
I've had to say no or remind a client of the boundaries in almost every session I've had over my year plus of cuddling.
I also focus on the client's needs and positions they like since it is their session. This mean sometimes we are in suboptimal position or ones we do not favor.
We are also often required to provide advice similar to the social workings of a bar tender. This requires us to be mentally "on" rather than letting our mind quiet and relax.
@Scarlette (post): I can say that definitely NOT 100% of my cuddles try pushing boundaries. It does happen occasionally, but I gently remind them of the rules and that's that. I have walked out on 3 cuddles and they were more than just "pushing boundaries"! I've had every one of them banned. [...] If I don't feel safe. I'm out of there. If I feel disrespected, I'm out of there.
Healers vs. Sharks
@PinkLipstick22 (post): Being a high quality professional cuddler [...] requires a ton of knowledge, time, and expense [...] to provide a sanitary, comfortable, healing, and overall great experience.
It takes a lot more time and effort because you're new and haven't yet figured out a routine or how to best plan ahead for the cuddling week.
Do paid cuddlers get burnt out?
@Scarlette (post): I never get "burned out" by cuddling and I cuddle a lot. [...] The act of cuddling soothes me so I look forward to each and every cuddle. However, I get tired. No different than any other job really.
I am lucky enough to have regulars that I can call to come cuddle me (no charge of course). So I guess you could say that on my time off I still want to cuddle. I had one come to cuddle the other night and I just told him that he was the pro for the night.
The only part that burns me out is the business side of cuddling. [...] It's constantly checking and responding to messages, updating my website, marketing, checking the cuddle sites, etc. Not to mention the never ending text messages and dealing with people that obviously want more than cuddling.
Meeting publicly first
@CuddleBunny88 (post): I would consider meeting up with someone first for coffee before starting a session. It would be a brief introduction and I would not count it towards our session. It would be great for personal safety reasons before inviting someone directly to my place for the first time.
Check in person
@snuggle554321 (post): I personally have forgotten a few times or have fallen asleep while I'm with a client. So I greatly appreciate it when my check in person sends me a text or calls to make sure that I am OK instead of immediately calling the cops.
No call / no show / last minute cancelations
@stellarosass (post): After the second time, something's gotta give. I’ll offer them a hard reserve (prepay a deposit [...]) or soft reserve
How do you determine your rate?
@Scarlette (post): When I first started on this site, I was charging $60/hr. I was already a pro when I joined but I was new here so I started low to attract my base clients. As I became more established here, I slowly raised my rate.
What I think you don't see is the behind the scene time, energy and money it takes to have a successful cuddle business. First, I make EVERY effort to accommodate my clients needs and schedule.
@ubergigglefritz (post): The justification in relation to this is that you CAN'T cuddle 40 hours a week. It is a very emotionally demanding job, and in order to provide your best self to each individual client, you simply must limit yourself [...] if you are doing this "full-time", it doesn't work with another job
High Price of Cuddling
@CabotCoveHugs (post): It's not just [...] selfish people who feel entitled to cheaper cuddle sessions; it's people expressing a need for something that the providers are charging prices out of their reach
@Lorelei (post): if I did rely on this as my only source of income, with my lower rate, I'd be in some serious trouble [...] As much as I want to help everybody, I need to make sure I'm getting by myself.
Let's discuss overnight prices!
@ubergigglefritz (post): For pros, what do you offer and at what price? [...] For clients, what do you want in an overnight session, and how much would you like to pay for that?
Outcalls and distance of...
@Brandi (post): I was just wondering if any of the pros on here travel, and if you do, how far do you go and what do you charge for travel fee?
@snuggle554321 (post): I also give discounts to clients who book 3 hours or more. I also typically end up going over time unless I have something else going on afterwards [...] I'm also planning on cuddling for an extra hour to anyone who has to pay for a hotel room in order to specifically cuddle with me.
Do you have what it takes to be a professional cuddler? (5 questions to ask)
A twenty minute video by Fei Wyatt at Cuddle Sanctuary (summary in thread).
New pro quit rate
@AglowAngel (post): My advice to new pros is to think about your boundaries before you do this, really think about scenarios and what you would do. Role play with your friends. And don't doubt your instincts.
Karma comments for female professionals
@respectful (post): I've been going through the karma comments for female professionals. Here are the kinds of things people love and appreciate about them.
Clients who give lots of karma
@respectful (post): Which clients give the most karma to (female) professionals.
Top 220 female professionals according to karma comments
@respectful (post): Names in bold had karma comments like "deserves more than 5 stars" or "best cuddle I've ever had"; the others were highly recommended by at least one person.
The problem with karma
@Alternis (post): The problem that there is right now is that there's not much free will both ways.
Enthusiasts who expect too much for too little
@AndiCuddles (post): Every once in a while, a (male) enthusiast makes a post about one, or more, of the following topics: 1) How there are no (or very few) female enthusiasts. 2) How unwilling they are to hire a pro. 3) How pros are greedy. 4) How pros are too expensive. I want to talk about this, as a female professional. This is my perspective.
When seeing a pro..
@Brandi (post): Do prefer to host, or do you prefer her to host? Or do you like public or outings?
@PinkLipstick22 (post) Now I just set an alarm and choose a light, pleasant melody [...] Some request a 5 minute warning, and sometimes I choose to do that myself as I know it takes me a few minutes to pull out from the cuddle.
Hiring professionals for non-cuddling activities
@calineur (post): If someone wants both someone to cuddle with as well as someone to accompany him or her, then having an actual cuddling pro would be better than having just someone who will accompany the person.
Would you barter for a cuddle?
@Scarlette (post): I was wondering if anyone has ever bartered services, in general? For cuddles?
Question on last minute cancellation by client
@CaringSoul (post): [On last minute cancellation] professional cuddlers are entitled to get payment from that client for 50% of the total session cost. How can professional cuddlers get paid by that client?
Friendship with clients
@Scarlette (post): My regular clients have become friends. We text pretty much daily and we do hang out. [...] But I do maintain our mutual boundaries. I'm happy to go out for a meal or do something fun but I will not cuddle off the clock, so to speak.
Potential professional male cuddler seeking advice
@BlueIris (post): Since cuddling is such a fledgling industry, it may not necessarily be true that there is no market for the male professional cuddler. The disadvantages at the present seem to be (1) It's not well publicized, and many women aren't aware of it. (2) There are not many male pros available, so even if a woman was looking for one, there likely wouldn't be one in her area.
Women might likely feel more secure with a male professional than with a cuddle buddy she has to screen herself.
Thoughts on certification?
@HugsFromFei (post): You can totally figure it out on your own without any training. I did. But it was much much much better with some modeling and someone to ask my questions to [...] It comes down to the type of professional cuddler you are/want to be. If you're offering the important work of companionship and presence, you probably already know how to do that well [...] If you're looking to be something of a cuddle therapist (that's how I identify) training in all areas really makes a difference.
Professional cuddlers: being real
@frankparker9 (post): Be as authentic as you can. I believe that many or most (I'd like to think all!) cuddle providers genuinely care about their clients, even clients they have just met. There are many people in this world with good hearts who are eager to give love in a safe context.
At the same time, I think it's common for a provider to put on a "persona" to try to enhance the experience, and also create a bit of distance. The provider may also be reluctant to share at a personal level, in order to keep things "professional," given the nature of the intimacy that's going on. That's ok, but I encourage you to think about whether this distance or detachment is really necessary to keep things professional, and whether any acting is really required to provide an experience of feeling nurtured and cared about, if that's already how you feel.
Believe me, if you can simply be authentic while giving love and enforcing [boundaries], that is the biggest gift you can give.
The Wide World of Trolls
@Greybeard (post): Between the non-poster and the truly harmful Troll, there are many types [...] I use the term "Troll" loosely, so much so that most of us might fit as a Troll at one time or another.
Infrequently Asked Questions
@respectful (post): "I've been searching for a professional to cuddle, but all I can find are enthusiasts who want to cuddle for free. Should I look out of state?"
Seeing animals cuddled up is like the cutest thing EVER!
@SweetStuff (post): As you can see with actual evidence (lol), animals displaying affection is beautiful to gaze at.
Cutest Cuddle Buddy Ever!
@BlueIris (post): If this doesn't make you go "awwwwwww," you're a monster!!!
People cuddling animals
@respectful (post): A baby elephant wanting a cuddle ...
@respectful (post): I loved these kids' reactions when their sick friend Tyler came back to school
@respectful (post): "You mean - what that thing out there really needs is a good cuddle??"
@respectful (post): Just for fun! I hope the clues are fair ...
@mellow (post): Here is some cuddle humor, I thought it was pretty funny, enjoy.
Signs you might be a cuddler
@respectful (post) After someone gives you a hug, you offer to try a few more positions.
Ecology of the Cuddler
@respectful (post): The cuddlus snugglypi, or Common Cuddler, is a species closely related to homo sapiens.
Choose Your Own Cuddle Adventure
@respectful (post): This is a "Choose Your Own Adventure" story. Sections are numbered; each one tells you which section to read next, depending on your choices.
Best auto correct fails
@Lorelei (post): Auto correct seems to provide a wealth of errors to amuse; I'm sure we've all seen at least one good one or even made one ourselves, so let's see your best blunders.
Thank you so much @respectful for putting this wonderfully informative collection of information together! Really well done! :-)
This is a fantastic thread- thank you!!!! Should be pinned up there! As a newbie, this is the most useful thing in the forum!!
This is a very informative introduction to the site.
Amazing thread, thank you for keeping it going and so organized!
This thread is the definitive cuddling resource: extensive, detailed, meticulous. You put in an incredible amount of work, @respectful.
@respectful I think this would be a great addition to the Boundaries or Cuddling Ressources section:
The School of Consent website http://schoolofconsent.org and specifically The Wheel of Consent http://schoolofconsent.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/English-A4.pdf (available in different languages and even as a game).
Thank you for the amazing work @respectful I keep sharing this page to anyone who wants to read more about the World of Cuddling.
Good evening people.
I'm fairly new here.
How's everyone finding this so far ?
@LovelyCompany Thanks, I've added that to the Cuddling Resources section. (And thank you!).
Comment modified. Comments like this should instead be a Report of the person for they account to be looked into rather than to call them out in the forums. Also, this comment has nothing to do with this discussion. [reurbo]
My god @respectful ! You are a gosh darn archive beast! ❤ just getting around to reading through things and boy howdy is it interesting! Thank you!
I found this site while writing a thank you card to my only cuddle buddy. He's a dear friend and I want to word it appropriately. Ideas?