Meeting strangers/safety

I'm just curious on what the girls do the protect themselves. They could be meeting up with a crazy psychopath who has more than cuddling in mind. I booked my first cuddle session with a pro which I am highly looking forward to, but I just felt that I took more precautions than her by asking to meet in a public place.

I'd just like to know someone else's thoughts on this.


  • @Mike403, There are a couple of threads here and in the Professional cuddling section that explore this topic. Check these out:  And also this one:

    And this one:

    Clearly on a lot of people's minds:

     Probably a lot more such threads to find if you dig around a little.

  • Ultimately, I think there's really only two things you can do when meeting someone from here for the first time: tell someone where you're going, and meet in a public place. Realistically, the only other thing you could do is bring someone along with you, and that's just going to spoil the mood if it turns out whoever you're meeting is the real deal...I think really the best thing you can do is to really chat and get to know each other beforehand and use your instincts to determine if you should meet them or not based on how your chats go. I'm not saying this is a definite way of telling if someone's crazy or looking for more than a cuddle buddy but it's a good way to try to get into their mind a little.

    To share my experiences, I've met 3 women off of this site so far, none of which are pros, similar ages to me, where I'm 23. The first women I spoke to, we talked a lot over the phone beforehand, first phone call was like 3 hours long I think, this definitely made me comfortable talking to them and later meeting them and I'd like to think it helped them too. The second women I met, we mainly just spoke over WhatsApp but we did a thing called 15 questions where we took it in turns to ask the other a question 15 times. Considering how random and fun this became towards the end, and the small details that were shared here and there, again I was convinced that she was the real deal, which she was, and I think she was definitely more comfortable about meeting me for it too. Point is, make the effort to really get to know them first and try to get into their head a little, it's not a guaranteed way to separate the should's and shouldn't's but it helps.

    When it comes to pros, I would like to think you could be more trusting in terms of if they're the real deal but it's totally understandable if nonetheless you prefer to meet in public, it might even put their mind at ease too as I imagine they could probably have similar thoughts if meeting a client for the first time.
  • I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt if they contact me and seem genuinely interested in cuddling. If I sense that they may have hidden agenda such as asking me overly personal questions or if they come right out and say something sexual, I'm not going to schedule a cuddling session with them. Pepper spray is quite effective if absolutely necessary. Thankfully I have only ever had one bad person in my nearly 3 years of cuddling. 
  • Dear All I have a standard welcome and many of you will have recieved it as I send it out hundreds of times a week, men and women.
    Dear ???? Welcome to the site we hope you make lots of new friends and get lots of cuddles and hugs, Have fun but please play safe, Always meet a new friend in a public place for the first time and always let a buddy or close friend know where and who you are meeting.
    Love peace and happiness. John Auckland NZ
    We have had a few Companions over the years have problems, no real problems of personal safety but it could happen.
    Please stick to the simple rules above and call your buddy once you have finished you session to let them know you are all right. if clients know this is happening it will reduce bad behavior, they know both parties have support a timed period away, so if buddies do not hear something can be done.
    John Auckland NZ
  • I have personal knowledge of two paid cuddlers on here who were assaulted and safety was in jeopardy, the assault being sexual in nature. They both dealt with it the best way they knew how, and have not talked about it on these forums. Both incidents were within the past couple of months. I will not disclose anymore than that as this is their personal business but I wanted to share in case anyone believes it doesn't truly happen.
  • @pmvines, hopefully no one here believes such things never happen. After all, people get assaulted and robbed just trying to buy or sell items on Craigslist. A site devoted to facilitating meetings between strangers in an intimate setting seems highly likely to look like a "hunting ground" to a predator. In a community with more than 65,000 members, some people --- both pros and clients --- are bound to have ill intent.

    Of course, we could argue all day about how prevalent it is. . @Missy87 has met with only one bad client in three years of pro cuddling. Another pro cuddler who left this site a while ago famously asserted that of all the clients she'd met, only one did not push boundaries. 

    If someone sees obvious red flags, it's time to bail. If someone's internal alarm goes off, even without hard evidence, it's time to bail. I like to assume the best about people, at least until they prove me wrong. But even when assuming the best, I prepare for the worst, and have contingency plans in place. The Internet is a jungle, and we must at all times be prepared to deal with people who live only by the law of the jungle. The trick is to maintain that readiness without letting it sour you, or turn you into a fearful, angry, or paranoid person who can't relax, enjoy life, or take a deliberate risk.

    Finally, although OP asked what the women here do to protect themselves, if I were them, I would not divulge particulars. I'm sure the question was asked in total innocence and well meaning. However, the bad guys can read these threads too, and if people specify their countermeasures, it just makes it easier for bad guys to anticipate and try to neutralize them. Good guys should consider keeping surprise on their side. 
  • Before i joined this site, I didn't even know that professional cuddling was a thing. This was new to me and it was just concerning that these women were meeting strange guys in an intimate setting without knowing anything about them.
  • Not a bad idea for women OR men, professional or not, to meet in neutral, public places and then proceed to the appointment if both parties agree.
  • Great advice!

  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    edited July 2017

    I generally take the following precautions (though note that I am not a paid cuddler):

    • Get to know the person a bit through online messaging
    • Arrange a quick 20 minute Skype session to see if we click
    • Meet in person in a public place, and tell someone when and where I am going (I usually do this 1-3 times depending on how comfortable I feel with the person)
    • State my boundaries up front (both physical boundaries - as in what kind of touching is acceptable and what's not, and emotional boundaries - as in I am not looking for a dating relationship from this)
    • Cuddling in a public place first may also be a good idea, e.g. going to the cinema or a park together. However, people's comfort levels with public displays of affection will vary, and I usually prefer to start by cuddling someone at home.
  • A cuddle is nothing more than a prolonged hug. There's nothing wrong with hugging someone in public.

  • [Deleted User]RScarf1 (deleted user)

    A cuddler asked me to send her a copy of my photo ID. I can black out any number and address. They want my name to be visible.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    To each their own @RScarf1, I wouldn't do that personally.

  • I wouldn't do that either

  • That will also be a little off putting to me. I wouldn't mind cuddling in public until she feels safe. I did it with the only pro I saw so far. It was at a public park and we had an amazing time. I get no responses at all when I message any non-pros which is typical.

  • [Deleted User]James_inmedford (deleted user)

    I like the talking face to face, via Whats App Skype etc at least two or three times like someone said or a meet an greet somewhere public. As a guy I am just as concerned with my safety as well. I had an incident a few years ago where I ended up with someone with some mental health issues that I wasn't aware of that caused a who lot of drama that I wanted no part of. Luckily we never met at my place.

  • I'm curious to know what women cuddlers do when they live alone and don't really have anyone they can notify of their comings and goings. That's my situation. My closest friends are many states away or in other countries.

  • [Deleted User]navyvet76 (deleted user)

    Same thing any guy should do also in my opinion meet in public first. Guys and girls both take risks if meeting in private.

  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)

    @BlueIris perhaps you could notify a friend or neighbour?

  • Sunflowerfield, I don't know my neighbors, and I have no friends in the area. I could email my friend 3,000 away, that's about the best I could do. I suppose it's better than nothing. At least she could give the police a clue as to where to find my body! :D

  • edited August 2017

    @BlueIris, maybe get to know some neighbors. Try a neighborhood website like (Just visited nextdoor myself; there's not a neighborhood association yet, where I live, so I'm starting one -- it's free). Or, knock on doors & introduce yourself; even if you meet someone who's not overtly friendly, they'll at least understand that you're well-intentioned. And, even if they're not sociable, the worst that can happen is you're kind of back where you started.

  • @BlueIris Your plan of action as listed on your profile looks great to me. Yes, you should notify your long distance friend, or better yet make friends with someone here who lives in your area to notify. A lot of professional cuddlers use each other for that kind of notification. Maybe one of them wil do it for you.
    <3 Jim

  • Thanks, Poly. That's exactly what I thought of. I just met a professional cuddler, and he's agreed to be my check-in buddy. Thanks, everyone for all the good advice.

  • [Deleted User]AntoineD (deleted user)

    To be honest, I am quite scared to meet someone I don't know in general and even more so if I were to cuddle with them.
    That might be linked to that whole being gifted thing going on for me.

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