Cuddling discussions and resources

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  • Hi, this recent article explains some cuddling positions: How to Cuddle Like You Mean It (And Why You Should)

  • edited January 21

    There was a mistake in the link above, here is the correct link: https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-cuddle

  • & here I was calling the “honeymoon hug” intertwined 🧵 lol, from that list my 2 fav’s are the honeymoon hug (or intertwined 🪢🤪) followed by the half spoon ☺️

  • @Chrichri welcome to the site! I have to throw this article into another thread.... I am giving YOU credit though. :)

    @respectful you know..... YOU KNOW how much I appreciate you and all that you offer here. A PLETHORA of information! 💕💖🥰

  • edited May 5

    headoverboots88 is asking me “sloppy or non sloppy bj” This is inappropriate, right?

  • edited May 5

    That is absolutely inappropriate, please flag the messages for moderator review so they can be dealt with accordingly. This is a PLATONIC site. If you yourself have to check if this is acceptable behaviour then presumably you have not read the terms of use of the website adequately.

  • How do you not know that is inappropriate?!

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    Alright, consider him yeeted. @ag0g0girl_Rose, if anyone asks you for stuff that's sexual, fetish-related, etc, even to a mild degree (ie. asking to kiss, cuddle in underwear or cuddle in the nude) please do report them! We take it very seriously.

  • Wow thank you for the tips and feed back

  • edited May 5

    @ag0g0girl_Rose to help you judge where the line is, a clothing request (other than for reasons like allergies) is inappropriate.

    If you can't say it to a lawyer or a plumber, you can't say it to a cuddle professional.

    The site is very good a banning undesirables.

  • Wow so I herd of this just did not know if there a real market for professional cuddler. But would like to give it a try .inside or outside. thanks for the tips and advice on getting started.

  • Take a risk come out and enjoy your self try something different cuddle with love we can stay in talk or table a small adventure kayking or paddle boarding my treat .

  • [Deleted User]Unique2021 (deleted user)

    Hello everyone I received this message from a guy. In it made me feel so comfortable.

    Just wanted to make sure that you are ok with the following cuddle positions:

    Big spoon
    Little spoon
    Sweetheart
    Mama Bear
    Reverse Mama Bear
    Heartbeat
    Pretzel
    Cradle
    Yab Yum
    Hip hugger
    Pancake , also referred to as ‘weighted blanket : This tasty cuddle is about as simple and intimate as it gets. She lies on her back and he lies face down directly on top of her like two pancakes, but not putting all of his weight on her. He is in a pilates position.

    And the Reverse pancake: She lies on her stomach and he lies face down directly on top of her like two pancakes but not putting all of his weight on her. Again, he is in a pilates position

  • @Unique2021 anyone who leads with that is not going to respect boundaries in my opinion. Although many of those positions might make it into a third or fourth cuddle with someone I know well, and respects my boundaries...if anyone sent me a message like that I would read it as them wanting WAY more than cuddles.

    Same thing goes for over-eager people who message me multiple times a day or for people who mention less than fully clothed cuddling.

  • edited May 31

    @Unique2021 Not ok. You are a person, not a toy to be played with. He's not trying to get to know you, he's sending you a list of demands.

    Discussing positions at all before the first session is inappropriate, unless there is a very specific reason for it. It's also stupid - you can't decide the position until you are there. The bed might be too hard, or the couch too narrow, or whatever. And you can't possibly do all of these in one session anyway.

    Knowing all the these names is suspicious in itself. I don't know the names of any except spoon, and hardly anybody I know does either.

    Finally, those pancake positions are not merely inappropriate for a first session, they are dangerous. The person underneath is trapped.

    I suggest you Block and Report him.

  • [Deleted User]Unique2021 (deleted user)

    Thank you @Chris55555 and @CuddleDuncan I have been getting a lot of crazy guys in my inbox. Not wanting a conversation or meeting up just want to come right over to cuddle. I been on this site before, but deleted my profile because of the craziness. It looks like it haven't went anywhere! I have teenagers at home, so I have to be careful with who coming to my house.

  • edited May 31

    @Unique2021 can you send me a private message telling me who this is? Because he took my whole entire cuddle position section right off my profile. He doesn’t even know what half of my cuddle moves are, I’ll bet. I’d rather he not plagiarize and lie to people saying these are positions he does. Especially making some of them seem sexualized and “tasty”...Please let me know.

  • Here’s the piece in my profile.

  • @Sideon Wanna bet this guy is the same one that plagiarized me last week??

  • The Cuddle Sutra (Grader, 2007) is a cuddling resource that several in this discussion have quoted from without citing it. The prospective client who messaged @Unique2021 was quoting verbatim when he wrote “The Pancake: This tasty cuddle is about as simple and intimate as it gets.” The list of cuddle positions in @Sheena123 ‘s profile owes its existence to the book. My guess is the client read the book and wanted to check with a prospective hire to see whether they did those positions. Listing all those position names and using words like “tasty” caused consternation that could have been averted if he had cited his sources and/or the recipient had recognized the reference. I don’t think it’s creepy of him to ask what’s on the menu. Those are positions that pros know and do— just maybe not every time with every client.

  • @nurturingman he obviously copy and pasted my cuddle position section. Whether he got the description from this book or not, he didn’t even bother to switch up the order or anything. A lot of these positions are obviously well known but I don’t go looking up positions and claim them as my own and I certainly don’t copy and paste from others profiles. So his way of pushing these positions on people is specifically plagiarizing of my page and being creepy to women without using any context. What he did was wrong. He could of at least switched up some of my names. I don’t know if mama bear or heartbeat are in this book, or if it’s under a different name but I don’t like when people take from someone’s profile, put next to zero effort in making it their own, start pushing these moves on others and not using any context, therefore using words like “tasty” is creepy.

  • Plus, she hasn’t said this guy is a pro. As far as we know, he could just be a random dude cold texting women.

  • edited June 1

    @Sheena123 unless you made up those position names and published them before 2007, the guy who wrote to @Unique2021 (herself a pro) is plagiarizing Grader, not you.

  • I don’t care about this book. What I’m saying is he deliberately and obviously took word for word from my page. Which is where I have my issue. I’m not saying that those positions are mine. I’m saying that he didn’t care to talk about these positions as if they were meaningful to him. He didn’t put any time into it. He simply copy and pasted my page, pasted it in messages and sent them to this woman saying : here are some cuddle position. Let’s do these yo....”.

    I don’t care about these positions being from a book. I just don’t like that he copy and pasted from MY profile (obviously) and then without even trying to make a connection with someone, just started plastering these moves on messages to people. It’s creepy, it’s rude and it’s lazy. He should have switched it up, possibly get to know her first before saying “we’re going to do this one particular move where you’re on your tummy and I plaster my manhood against your butt”. It makes my page look unoriginal and what he did was straight up creepy. If you don’t see that he copy and pasted a section from my page WORD FOR WORD and then went creepy on a girl, I can’t help you any further.... book or no book, what he did was wrong and creepy....

  • edited June 1

    what he did was wrong and creepy....

    Yup. Gold-plated, deluxe creepy. Engraved and gift wrapped with priority shipping.

    Remember, there are no shades of grey with creepy. It's either spectacularly non-creepy ... or creepy. There is nothing in between: 'benefit of the the doubt' is inappropriate in this context. If there's doubt, it's creepy.

    Interestingly, my edition of the [over-rated but marginally useful] Cuddle Sutra (2007) doesn't call it the Pancake, it calls it the Breakfast in Bed. But it does refer to pancakes. Also interestingly, it suggests resting the full weight, while the prospective client changed that to not full weight, and added the pilates reference. Unless that comes from a different edition of course.

    With the sole exception of the Spoon, none of the cuddle positions in @Sheena123's list are given in the Cuddle Sutra. The idea of naming cuddle positions predates Grader by over a century, so I don't see how Sheena123's list can in any way owe its existance to Grader. The Spoon itself was named by 1887. From the OED:

    Spoon, v.2
    4.
    a. intransitive. To lie close together, to fit into each other, in the manner of spoons.
    1887 Harper's Mag. Apr. 781/2 Two persons in each bunk, the sleepers ‘spooning’ together, packed like sardines.

    So there is no question that that while the prospective client seems to have lifted the pancake bit from Grader, the main list has nothing to do with Grader and is straightforward plagiarism of Sheena123.

    @nurturingman

    I don’t think it’s creepy of him to ask what’s on the menu.

    I must say I disagree with that. For a start he didn't ask what was being offered, he asked if @Unique2021 was ok with his requirements. And secondly, there is no menu in cuddling - it's impossible for several different reasons. If he has heard of some cuddle positions, and wants to try them, well hooray. Nothing wrong with that. The creepiness starts with not saying, "I've heard about these cuddling positions and wondered if you ever do them with your clients".

  • @CuddleDuncan thank you 🙏

  • edited June 1

    This is what happens when people copy and paste and do not cite their sources. One person plagiarizes an original source and others plagiarize the plagiarizer with insertions, deletions, and changes, ad nauseam. It's like a game of telephone, where one person whispers a short message into the ear of another, who whispers it to another, and at the end of the line the message is skewed far from its original meaning. The thing about plagiarism, though, is that if the text is online, it can be searched, and with publishing dates available on many texts, one can sometimes see who plagiarized whom. @Sheena123 I get it! You think he plagiarized your profile. You've shown us enough screenshots of it. But look at these screenshots:

    The first page shown is the illustration on page 30, and the next page (31) is the description of that pose. If you look at the text, you will see what the guy wrote to @Unique2021

    Breakfast in Bed
    This tasty cuddle is about as simple and intimate as it gets. She lies on her back and he lies face down directly on top of her like two pancakes…

    He obviously wasn't plagiarizing your profile there, because you don't have that text in your profile. Was he plagiarizing your list? Maybe, but who knows? Clearly, even if he did copy and paste your list, he also copied and pasted text from other people, who obviously copied and pasted from The Cuddle Sutra. I don't know where he got the text "…but not putting all of his weight on her. He is in a pilates position." I couldn't find it in a Google search.

    Incidentally, @CuddleDuncan is right that in the book this position is called Breakfast in Bed, not Pancake. He's also right that none of those position names are in The Cuddle Sutra. I'm not sure where they come from, but "Cuddle Queen Jean" Franzblau of Cuddle Sanctuary talks about several of them:

    As far as @Sheena123 's list of cuddle positions is concerned, a Google search revealed several pages that have the same exact text. Maybe they all plagiarized her? One of the Google searches yielded the CuddleComfort profile of one @cuddleexpert101 , who joined the site in January of this year, after Sheena, who joined the site in May 2019. His profile has the same exact list of cuddle positions followed by the same exact paragraph Sheena follows hers with:

    I’m always learning more. There’s a position out there for you that puts you in absolute zen mode. Let’s find it! Maybe you’ll teach me one! 😉

    His profile also has several more of the same exact paragraphs Sheena has in hers. Below is a screenshot of her profile, and below that is a screenshot of his.

    [EDIT: After reading @Sideon 's message saying "I'm not a fan of copy/paste profiles into forum messages," I removed these screenshots.]

    So, plagiarism abounds! It is one of my many peeves. I've been finding it while doing academic research the past 20 years, and while grading students' papers for the past 10. It's lazy and dishonest. It wouldn't be quite so bad if people cited their sources, but even too much proper citation shows a lack of originality.

    I do want to go back to the question of creepiness. The guy who messaged @Unique2021 wrote "Just wanted to make sure that you are ok with the following cuddle positions…" Granted, @CuddleDuncan , he didn't preface it by citing his source and explaining that he had read of these positions, but the guy was respectful, in my opinion, by saying he "just wanted to make sure [she was] okay with" them. That's a request for consent if I ever saw one. We're all about asking for what we want and getting a yes or a no; are we not? I agree with what @Chris55555 said about how "many of those positions might make it into a third or fourth cuddle with someone I know well, and respects my boundaries," but I disagree that "if anyone sent me a message like that I would read it as them wanting WAY more than cuddles." She is entitled to her interpretation, and of course she is entitled to say no to anything she's uncomfortable with, but I personally don't see how a list of bona fide platonic cuddle positions would indicate a desire for "WAY more than cuddles." I would rather assume positive intent since he was checking for consent and listing positions that are nothing more than cuddles. Must we jump to calling such a request "creepy"? I still say give the guy the benefit of doubt. If I got the same message I might say what @Chris55555 said, "Although many of those positions might make it into a third or fourth cuddle with someone I know well, and respects my boundaries" and complete that sentence with "I might not feel comfortable doing all of them during our first cuddle." Then I would see how he responded and get more of a sense of his intentions.

  • edited June 1

    P.S. I asked my first official cuddle, a pro, if she would try "Breakfast in Bed / Pancake / Weighted Blanket / Watchamacallit" on top of me, and believe me I have no interest in having sex with a woman. She let me see how it felt, and she set the boundaries of the position by saying "here's where I always say 'there is to be no bumping or grinding whatsoever.'" Did it make a difference that I requested that position during the cuddle session instead of before it? I don't know, but I don't blame a guy for asking ahead of time. It's an innocent question!

  • Well, I give up lol 😂

  • Everyone. If there is an issue with a profile, report it. I'm not a fan of copy/paste profiles into forum messages, however innocuous or not. Thanks in advance for your mindfulness.

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