And @CuddleDuncan, right on the money.
@tired what are people afraid of (embarrassment/difficulty) in regards to showing their face on a cuddle website?
I’m hoping for a list 🐣
@Importance Amusing that your first message to a perfect stranger is a passive aggressive demand. I find that sort of thing really creepy
@Importance - They don't want their picture online so they can be creepy then create a new account and do it again. That's the only logical explanation. If their photo was out there, he'd be more easily recognized.
@Importance I know who this guy is and you are right to stay away, let's leave it at that. @Pmvines is absolutely correct, he does have a sense of entitlement. @Mmart is also right on with saying you don't have to figure out the weird ducks (men) on this site who obviously have it all wrong and have a few MAJOR things wrong with them. There are a WHOLE lot of nice guys on Cuddle Comfort. Men who message nicely and do want to get to know you a bit before cuddling. Give them the chance, give them your time. In my opinion, the nice guys far outweigh the lousy ones but many women aren't giving them a chance and only judging them instantly on looks alone. BIG MISTAKE LADIES!!
@tired I don't understand your point in your previous post. How does your boss find out that you cuddle because you send your photo to a stranger a thousand miles away?
I don't understand your last post either. @Importance made a perfectly reasonable request. I'd like to know the answer too. Nothing about it is passive-aggressive, and it wasn't a demand.
When I created my profile on here it didn't occur to me not to post a picture. I have asked repeatedly for reasons why people don't and have never received an answer that's really believable. Most of the claims by men about 'privacy' boil down to 'I want to retain the option to be creepy' or cowardice. (It's very different for women, as this thread demonstrates.)
@CuddleDuncan It becomes a danger when that photo is then posted into the public domain by the recipient. I think you can work out the rest from my previous post.
As for the second question, I thought you had already accepted that cuddling as an activity isn't necessarily fully understood by the wider community. Let's say the Sun discovered that Keir Starmer had a profile on here. Can your imagination take it from there?
@tired - I can see the conversation with your boss now.
"You cuddled with a stranger you met on the internet? You are fired!"
@tired
It becomes a danger when that photo is then posted into the public domain by the recipient.
No it doesn't, that's a ludicrous assertion. Facebook alone gets 300 million photos new photos uploaded per day. And it's not even primarily a photo app. I say again, how does sending your picture to a stranger a thousand miles away get you fired?
Keir Starmer is a public figure. We're not talking about public figures, we're talking about ordinary people.
I accepted that cuddling not fully accepted in certain communities in the USA, but in itself that's neither a reason nor an excuse for not posting your photo on your profile, never mind not sending one privately.
Here’s something I’d like to add. A very famous actress, Sharon Stone, has a dating profile on plenty of fish.
Negative things that people might assume from this. She’s lonely. She struggles with relationships. She doesn’t know how to get her personal and physical needs met by a man. She is unfulfilled and wanting more. She’s unsuccessful.
You would think with a beautiful, successful, probably rich woman such as Sharon Stone, that she would have all the positive relationships that she could ever want. Gentlemen, please remember that us ladies struggle too. Princess Diana, Jennifer Anderson, and countless other women that we consider to be highly desirable also struggle. Everyone struggles with relationships!
These are just a few of the ideas that come to mind for me. Honestly, I don’t like the fact that I feel like I need a cuddle website to be held. I feel like there’s someone out there that should love me and treat me kindly and hold me and nurture me. But I haven’t found that person and I am here with the rest of you begging to be cuddled.
@CuddleDuncan Oh I see, we're now retrospectively changing what we're talking about to suit your agenda. I think you'll find your original comment referred to a loss of privacy not to getting fired, (although in some instances even that would be a real danger)
You know headless man isn't a public figure? How did you glean that?
@tired what? And what?
Just answer @Importance's question.
@CuddleDuncan If we're issuing orders. You answer mine.
@tired I don't know whether he is a public figure, but public figures don't normally distribute valuable photos of themselves free to strangers. But since we weren't talking about public figures, it's hardly relevant. Public figures are a special case and we weren't discussing special cases.
@Importance I hear you, especially in your most recent post.
@tired , if someone uses a headless boner-selfie as their profile pic on LinkedIn and Facebook, I think reverse image search is the least of their worries.
@CuddleDuncan Odd that the whole discussion was regarding headless man, who you now concede may or may not be a public figure, while at the same time insisting that we weren't discussing public figures.
If you need another example, if my job, was say, working in a child nursery, I may be wary of certain parents discovering my usage of this site. Do you acknowledge that as a genuine concern? Wait! Don't tell me. it's another 'special case'.
@CuddleDuncan privacy isn't nefarious, it is a right. I don't want people to find my profile here anymore than I want people to find my dating profiles. I actually wouldn't put my photo here if I thought it would be possible to meet anyone that way. Also, I think you don't quite understand American culture if you think meeting strangers for physical contact (even if non-sexual) is only slightly weird. The south alone is bigger than the UK, it isn't small isolated communities.
And to reiterate, some people just like privacy. Like me. I like my privacy, I don't trust random people and I'm not trusting.
@Lovemycats I've brought this up before, though the idea didn't spark very much conversation. I understand that meeting strangers (particularly men) is very much more risky for women than it is for men, and this forum can at times silence the struggles of women on here. With that in mind, I'm willing to do anything feasible to make women feel safer and more welcome on this forum. But yes I still wonder why there are so many lonely women on here when there are plenty of respectful men that haven't met anyone (assuming that the respectful men vastly outnumber the creepy/harassing ones, which seems to be generally accepted though I don't have any data for this).
@Importance Us guys get way less creepy messages than you ladies, and we are privileged for that. I've only gotten one strange message, it was a from a female enthusiast. I asked her if she had any questions about my profile, and she responded only with "I don't pay." I had no idea what she meant.
@Importance I would actually assume that very famous people/people that became suddenly famous or wealthy have more relationship problems than someone with a more "average" profile. Less people that understand you, stress/detachment of being in the limelight, all the assumptions people have of you based on your public profile. But yes I understand that everyone struggles/suffers in relationships; in different in ways, in ways that I am yet to learn, and sometimes in the same exact way. Though I admit at times it's hard for me to understand why this occurs on CC when conflated with the idea in the first paragraph of my post.
@Importance I think I understand why you don't have a profile picture up - a statement to all those that don't have profile pictures. I was wondering what your thoughts were regarding my profile? I don't have a profile picture up, but I send a picture of myself within the first or second message.
If you think someone is creepy, then they are creepy. Many people are going to disappoint you. Move on to the next. Practice patience.
@MrPaul thats like saying, if you think someone is acting racist, just move onto the next person. If you think someone might be a sexual predator, just stay away. If you think some something is broken, just ignore it and go focus on something else.
If we continue to remain silent then this website will always be creepy. We are trying to create change here. We want this website to be better. We want to be treated like human beings.
And I will practice patience. But I also have a voice and I will use it.
@Importance We all want people to treat us and others with kindness and respect. However, the only ones we can truly change are ourselves.
That does not mean being silent when you see something that you think isn’t right. You can make a difference by speaking up.
We tend to make up a story when we don’t have the full picture, and that story isn’t always right.
@Importance In your original post you write, "This message actually feels creepy to me. Am I just being hypersensitive? My gut feeling tells me that something is wrong with this message. Does anyone else have any thoughts on this?"
My interpretation of @MrPaul's point is that if you even have to ask these questions, then a simple block of the offender would probably suffice without making such a, dare I say? fuss about this particular message. Of course, initiating a general debate on what message content may or may not be appropriate is another matter.
And the ever common message—
@tired I can't say what I want to say to you, but we're all thinking it.
Have the day you deserve!
😏
@BuggleBear Thank you for that thoughtful contribution to the debate. Name calling is always so enlightening.
Be mindful. No personal attacks. I'm giving folks an hour and an opportunity to self-edit before I do so.[-Sid]
Personally I think that some people prefer privacy. If you chat briefly they can send you a face picture if privacy is their main issue. Also, snuggling is a lot about the body. Are they cozy, warm, soft, short or tall. I tend to think positive
@tired, I just want to clear something up. Do you believe that men sending creepy messages to woman is
a) OK/fun b) not OK
I'm asking because you repeatedly attacked the OP, and she is trying to put a stop to it.