@Sideon apologies, I have edited.
@CuddleDuncan Okay, then we'll gloss over the earlier discussion where you lost the debate.
Your binary question is nonsensical unless you can offer an objective and comprehensive definition of 'creepy', which I'm betting you can't. If a woman receives a message that she perceives to be creepy, then I'm sure we will all agree that that is unfortunate. However, given that standards and sensitivities differ, the simplest course of action would appear to be for the recipient to simply block any user she is uncomfortable with and report to an admin (or even the police) if she believes it is merited. Posting a private message in a public forum and asking 'Is this creepy?' strikes me as unnecessary and bordering on unethical.
@tired it's ALMOST as 'enlightening' as your contributions, isn't it. Difference is that people actually agreed with me 😁
@BuggleBear Congratulations, you should be proud. It's obviously more important to you to be popular than to be right.
Oh honey, I'm both.
@BuggleBear And so modest too! Get you.
I'm an excellent dancer too. And I make a cracking Victoria Sponge. I'll send you a slice if you like. Unless you're sweet enough....? 😁
Funnily enough, I could have guessed at least one of those things. You look like a great dancer.
See, you can be nice when you really put your mind to it. Well done you. Gold star. ⭐
Your charming personality and quick wit apparently bring out the best in me.
Oh I can't possibly take credit for your stellar personality! That's all you baby!
I'm not sure that paraphrasing my previous comment actually counts as repartee, but well done on making the effort.
Now do you wish to make any actual point regarding the issues raised in this thread?
I'm just enjoying getting to know you, you lil cutie patootie! 😍
Omg ~ @Importance ~ Your 2:28pm (Pacific) post is spot on!! From what others infer about women struggling to find meaningful relationships to this bit...
"Honestly, I don’t like the fact that I feel like I need a cuddle website to be held. I feel like there’s someone out there that should love me and treat me kindly and hold me and nurture me. But I haven’t found that person and I am here with the rest of you begging to be cuddled."
I can't begin to tell you how much I relate to that! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing honestly.
Overwhelmed by your charms as I am; I'm not sure that spamming one line posts to a public thread is very considerate to other site users, which is after all what this debate is all about so please direct any further responses to my private messages where I'll be pleased to give them due attention. Unless, you're only posting here to try and get even more popular.
I think this thread is getting to be off topic and you two need to take it to PM.
@Mike403 Beat ya,
IMHO, He's simply not ready to reveal himself. It's also appropriate since the recipient doesn't post any photo, full or partial.
Someone is overthinking this.
I would rather shut myself in a broom cupboard with Jason Voorhees.
@quixotic_life @Importance that sums up quite succinctly about how I feel about the cuddling situation too- it's not easy with the UK in and out of lockdown, but it's also not easy to find someone that has good intentions and can honour the boundaries set. Makes me wonder why some people even join a cuddling website when what the are looking for is misleading. I hate having to second guess every message I get to try to figure out peoples true intentions.
I think calling for a thread stop for going off topic when the topic shift has come from the OP is a bit of an overstep - IMO
Also, why is it some yayhoo can come in mid-way, start stomping their opinions all over the place, gaslight others and then report the tread for getting hostile and/or for going off topic? It's ridiculous and happens way too often!
Back on point... There is a Pros Only forum where they can post and message about problematic people. Enthusiasts don't have that.
Is the recommendation that we wait until someone actually meets up with this guy and has a poor experience for them to be banned?
I suggest that enthusiasts who have legitimately reported the line crossing behavior of another user, should be given the green light by the mods to leave them karma indicating that. Because some of these guys have 5 star pro reviews and nothing from enthusiasts whatsoever.
In this case, 3 people have said stay clear! Really, how would we know to otherwise?
TL;DR If someone doesn't want their creepiness aired then they shouldn't be creepy!!
@quixotic_life Are you referring to me in your first paragraph? If so, I'll be happy to respond.
@tired ~ If you think it applies to you, and you're not breaking a "stay on topic" covenant, then by all means...
I've seen it happen in multiple threads and it's obnoxious. Perhaps I should post these thoughts in the, "I'm offended" thread, but it's really more of an overall observational annoyance, with a dash of disgust, than anything else.
And it falls in-line with "Disturbing Messages" as a theme. Whether private, or here in the forums, the inappropriate and hostile ways others are treated here is often an issue... 🤷♀️
@ quixotic_life If you wish to play that game then just for fun, let's pretend that you were referring to me. So...
I didn't call for a 'thread stop', I asked @BuggleBear if she wished to engage in any topical debate, and when she declined I suggested she might direct any further off-topic one-liners to my PMs to leave the thread free for on topic discussion. My apologies if that was inappropriate.
If by 'stomping opinions all over the place' you mean, expressing opinions, then I plead guilty. My understanding was that the forums existed for the specific purpose of expressing opinions, Further apologies if I was mistaken.
I am also guilty of joining the thread part way through. My bad, I hadn't realised this wasn't permitted.
Regarding 'gaslighting', I don't believe that offering a counter opinion is equivalent to denying the validity of the original opinion. Perhaps you might offer an example of this gaslighting
I didn't report the thread to anyone so I'm rather puzzled by that accusation.
As for your TLDR. Who gets to decide what is creepy?
Who put the muffins in the freezah?
I did! Whatcha gonna do about it? ... Nothin’!
@tired I appreciate that you have dissected what may have been a snap judgment (I'm over it) post about behaviors in general, and have taken it upon yourself to claim them as being about you. Though you also deflect/question each of my points so... • Were you really the 'one' I was talking about? • Was it only in relation to this thread? • Or, was it meant to be applied more globally? spoiler - It's the last one, which I stated in my initial reply to you, and where I also let you know it was an observational annoyance.
note 1: I'm not typically into role playing games, especially ones that aren't easily picked up by one who's just stepping in for a little bit. As an example, your inviting me to play the, "Let's pretend it's all about @tired" game would be an absurd consideration for me to make. I don't know you, I'm fairly certain we've not interacted prior to this exchange, I don't know the rules to this little game, and I don't really care to play with someone who starts off with a condescending attitude.
note 2: As you don't know me either, let me assure you, that had it been about you, I would have @'ed you. As many others here can surely attest, I have zero qualms with @'ing someone when I think they are in the wrong or I have something specific to say to them.
So... back to my original assertion that I may have posted a "snap judgment (I'm over it) post", and I may have done so in the wrong thread... It can be hard when bouncing between threads, where many of the same voices are active, to recall where one saw what -not usually, but sometimes.
Looking back, what I said can still apply here. What I saw were the beginnings of a fairly formulaic practice of those who want to quiet others.
"And it falls in-line with "Disturbing Messages" as a theme. Whether private, or here in the forums, the inappropriate and hostile ways others are treated here is often an issue."
So even if my misplaced mentioning of this alone, helps one to reassess their involvement and to keep things reasonable, then yay! We all win!
Take care, hope you find someone willing to play,🕊
& please excuse any grammatical errors ~ I'm also tired
edit ~ found and fixed a couple typos
@quixotic_life so many excellent posts and so many bravos. Thank you for your insight. I really appreciate all the time and effort you’ve put into this thread. Your sincerity and your thoughtfulness is beautiful.
@quixotic_life 😁 So much yes.
direct any further responses to my private messages
NEVER let them take you to a second location!!!
Who gets to decide what is creepy
The creepee, of course.
Very valid points @MaullySterling !!
This is why I love this forum. There is so many different perspectives and so much input. You all think of things that I never think of. I need this type of support group in my life. Thank you so much. Thank you to all for your input and varying perspectives!!!
@quixotic_life And I appreciate your somewhat thoughtful response. However, I didn't 'choose' to consider your original post to be directed at myself. Before responding I asked you civilly and in good faith if it was, and you declined to answer directly while wilfully leaving the impression that it was. To now claim that it wasn't, and that I am seeing something that wasn't there is much closer to gaslighting than anything I have posted in this thread.