Disturbing messages

Importance

I have done my best to protect us users identity. If I have done something in violation of Cuddle comfort’s rules please feel free to edit or censor me.

I don’t understand why someone would send me a headless/faceless picture of their torso. I don’t know how to reply to this. I would like to see his face. But I hate to ask questions directly to people that I don’t know.

This message actually feels creepy to me. Am I just being hypersensitive? My gut feeling tells me that something is wrong with this message. Does anyone else have any thoughts on this?

quixotic_life

I don't know of you're "being hypersensitive" or not. What I do know is that no matter the reason for an icky vibe, it's important to follow that instinct!

based on personal experience

Importance

Does anyone else think that it’s inappropriate to send over a faceless picture?

LyleLuvsHuggles

I dont know about inappropriate but I certainly find it quite odd...

If clicking on the image doesn't expand it into something that has a head, you may want to consider the possibility that this guy has nothing but air above his neck. Anecdotal evidence suggests it's a possibility. Maybe keep an eye out for pumpkins.

[cough]

More seriously, while I understand giving a potential cuddle buddy a look at your build, cutting your own head off does seem like a bad idea. Faces are important to a lot of people. Humanizing, even.

mtp

Just to double check--are you sure it's faceless? For profile pictures on the website, square thumbnails of photos that are taller than they are wide are cropped to the top of the picture, but it's possible that they are cropped to the center under other circumstances.

(I've only ever used the website, so I don't know the answer to this. I've also never sent or received photos through the messaging system here.)

Importance

This picture is absolutely faceless. I really want to protect this person‘s identity. But for the sake of information... here goes,

Also, @DarrenWalker You do make me laugh quite a bit, and here you are putting a smile on my face once again. “ Faces are important to a lot of people. Humanizing, even.” — very well said by Darren Walker 🦦🦦🦦🦦

Importance

Why is the Internet so creepy and when can we get out of quarantine?

I know these questions are both rhetorical.

LyleLuvsHuggles

Because humans are eesh and not soon e-damned-nough

mtp

Good to know--I've definitely seen a platform where thumbnail cropping was done to the center. (Facebook maybe? I think it might have been Facebook, because I remember being annoyed that images containing only text were cropped this way. But that's a rant for another time.)

In any case, my gut agrees with your gut.

Importance

Okay, I’m just going to say this too... he has an awfully big zipper 🙄

quixotic_life

@Importance ~ Yikes 😳 Lol...

If you want to send him the thread link...
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/9731/disturbing-messages
...may give him a "heads-up" on how this was received.

For me though, I'd nope out based on the arms because he's not showing gentle eyes to balance them out...

Importance

Hmmm... not a bad idea @quixotic_life

My initial thought is a play on words. (Described me to a "T") and then he sends you a pic of him in a "T"-shirt. And I would have never seen the enlarged zipper. But I agree with @quixotic_life (as I usually do), go with your gut.

Mike403

@Importance - Faceless picture... double messaging when you didn't respond to the first.... double red flag. Next.

CuddleDuncan

Definitely creepy as hell. Sending a headless photo is .... not merely inappropriate, it's genuinely disturbing. Particularly when there is a fake boner in the picture.

"You described me to a T" is internetspeak for "I skimmed the first line or two of your profile and didn't read the rest, but I want to make it look like I did."

That second message is a red flag on its own, so yes, avoid. I'm not sure it's techncially Reportable, but defintitely blockable. Also not entirely sure about bringing this thread to his attention .... there is something to be said for allowing this type to out themselves.

@DarrenWalker may be right that there is nothing above the neck except air, or perhaps a pumpkin, but my bet is faecal matter.

pmvines

Some people have faceless pics as a means of privacy so that alone I wouldn't consider questionable personally without context. But the follow up snarky comment when you didn't respond to him wreaks of entitlement, and the initial message of hey you dont charge, cool, you ever in my area ? Not anything really about wanting to get to know you or take the time on his part to ensure that you can trust and feel comfortable with him first before talking about getting together to cuddle, is a bit short sited and selfish on his part.

@Importance , I don't like the overall vibe of the first message, but definitely not the fact that he wrote a second (petulant) one that referenced the fact you didn't respond to the first one.

One thing that stood out to me was the part where he asked if you ever went to a particular location. Now, since it's censored, I don't know how specific he was being (whether it was a general region, a city, a restaurant/club, etc), but if it was very specific that raises a "potential stalker" flag in my mind. If it was more general, I'd just... wonder what the point of asking was. It's not a great icebreaker either way.

@pmvines , agreed with what you said as well.

CuddleDuncan

Nah, the privacy argument is nonsense. The guy is approaching somebody in a Private Message, there is no privacy question unless he is in a witness protection programme or something. Anybody who knows him would recognise him from that picture anyway. He's just a creep who fancies his own body.

Furthermore, what does he need privacy for? If he's just a cuddler he's not doing anything wrong so there is no need for privacy. As a matter of logic, he must therefore be doing something wrong. = Creep.

If you are concerned about photos of yourself being in the wild that's not what you do. Genuine people say, "I will send you a photo as and when we get to the stage of meeting up." In other words when they know you well enough to trust you with the photo.

That second message does indeed wreak of entitlement. The headless photo does too.

CallMeMikey

Always trust your Spidey Senses.

Def more interested in someone’s face than their body. Correct to trust your senses!

sunnysideup

@Importance If it feels creepy to you, then don't respond. I think that a headless photo without context is creepy because it makes his intentions unclear, and presenting unclear intentions is creepy.

@Importance I think part of the reason why the internet is so creepy is that communicating over the internet is something new that society really hasn't adapted to; in IRL interactions most people seem to follow some sort of communication etiquette but that hasn't translated to the online world because of different circumstances (increased anonymity, less repercussions for asshole behavior, easier to have lazy communications when there are a swarm of people to message at the click of a button).

Trust your instincts. If you are going to cuddle with this person. You will be in close physical contact with them. you have the right to ensure your safety and security. It’s not inappropriate to ask for a face photo.

TheMidnightOwl

When I first joined, I got hit up by the same guy and he sent me the same photo!!! When I asked why he sent that and does he not have a face? he blocked me. Avoid like the plague. He’s obviously here for the wrong reasons. I agree with everyone’s posts above. Great observations.

Mike403

@TheMidnightOwl - He reminds me of a bottle of beer. Empty from the neck up.

TheMidnightOwl

@Mike403

😄 No kidding!

Maybe the gentleman has no head and we should be more sensitive to his plight?

TheFunCartel

He is the first man to ask “Give me head” and it be taken literally rather than crudely.

@Mike403 HAAAAAAAAA

@CuddleDuncan I would disagree on discounting the privacy issue outright. While he would not be doing anything illegal, we all know that cuddling us not completely accepted in our society. He might be concerned that his employer would find such an activity as less than acceptable, or perhaps friends/family.

That said, I agree with most of the red flags already mentioned. It would be on account of these, not the headless pic, that I would pass.