@CuddleDuncan i like you quite a lot too. I see reason and compassion in your posts. I know my personal challenges with being thoughtful and kind and I do try. I also try to avoid people who want to argue with me just to argue. That is useless.
@NightShift39
Fantastic!
All right, everyone. We've got a solid plan. Let's make it happen.
@UltimateChungus perfect I'll even kick back 15% to the site (in the form of an anonymous donation of course can't have any stains on the record after all lol)
I truly believe that as long as this is a pay for time type of intimate service that it will always be a problem.
@ChibiShema
Cuddlemelater, that is just simply not true. Women may be passive with you. Women may not want to date you or message you.
Sometimes it seems people want to argue with every little thing, no matter how obvious or widely known. Also it's really awesome how you're trying to make this personal. Yes, some women some of the time in the right situation will be the aggressor and initiate contact. I've seen it and I've been the recipient of it. But the large majority of the time women will not initiate. This is so widely observed across time and culture it's hard to see how someone can argue with it.
If you think I'm wrong, by all means make an account on a dating app and sit back and wait for the messages to roll in. Or if apps aren't your thing, go sit alone in a bar and wait for women to approach you.
My apologies.
Can we at least have verification for age on this site? I saw some profiles tonight where the young ladies appeared to be no older than 14. Please.
Female Enthusiast Here ~
Uh... NO Thanks to your 'women should be the first to send messages' idea! That is just insane to me! There are more reasons than to just set up a cuddle date, that a man might message.
Also, not that I represent the norm here (*), but of the 14 pages/tabs of messages I've received, only one was slightly off putting.
132 (total convos/contacts) - 14 (women/other) = 118 men (includes deleted accounts) ~ So less than 1% of those who have contacted me, to date, were slime balls.
(*) Like I said, in multiple ways I'm not like the the other females who are reporting these issues (I'm not a Pro, I'm not young, I don't have a pic of me as my main profile pic, I'm not petite, nor adorable and all of these factor in to lessen the odds of being targeted for harassment.
It is not okay that others have to deal with it though. One should be able to tic each one of those traits and still only receive polite messages from others. But making it so women have to message first (or even pre-match), is absurd!!
I've said it before... but I'll keep beating the drum...
Work on creating the culture you wish to see here. Be a co-conspirator with the ladies here and help call out/chastise your fellow man when he's being a tool. Help make it obvious that there is an expectation of respect for others and that being an ass will not be tolerated.
To those of you who already do this ~ Thank you!!!
@quixotic_life thank you soo much for your feedback & input, the female perspective is very much needed & appreciated ☺️
Spend money on targeted advertising by metropolitan area. Perhaps this could be collected in the form of premiums accounts. The money collected from premium accounts in Washington DC, for example, would be used for targeted DC ads.
Or start a collection bucket for ads for each major metro area to pilot the effort. I would contribute to help bring in more females to my area.
I agree with @quixotic_life on all points..
Maybe to help filter out unwanted messages enthusiasts seem to be inundated with allow them to set parameters on who they wish to receive messages from. Age range/ marital status / location etc.
If I was an enthusiast I'd greatly appreciate the ability to remove myself from search or messaging based on incompatibility or preference.
I like this idea @Envie some women like to receive travelers and other women only want a consistent cuddle buddy that lives in the area. Everybody’s different. Being able to have parameters on your searchabliltiy capabilities would be wonderful. (I think I just made up a word)
Great suggestions @Envie
@ScrantonCuddler I agree. Don't know what a premium account would encompass though.
@ChibiShema thanks!
I feel this is one of the best ways for the site to retain females here.
Example, if I was a 20 year old female enthusiast I wouldn't my inbox filled with messages from men 300 miles away who are married and old enough to be my father. I too would be quick to throw in the towel and never return. There are certainly those who are open to all ages and statuses, the option to filter those would only benefit everyone. Men not wasting their energy on women looking for specific demographics. Women not feeling overwhelmed by unwanted messages by those who don't meet their criteria.
I don't code anymore but it seems like it could be a relatively easy implementation. 🤷♀️
@Envie exactly! Great job on articulating your ideas.
@CuddleDuncan and @quixotic_life
There's nothing I can do effectively do about men that are anonymously being creepy/harassing online. I only directly control my own behavior. I mean of course, I can call this behaviour out in others in real life, but the people I know in real life are respectful. I'm thinking it's also more complicated than just being a men's issue. For example, where were their parents, how did they raise them? What kind of role-models do we as a society have? What kind of qualities or behaviors do our society reward?
I'm sorry if that sounds ranty, I just don't know what to do about the situation.
@quixotic_life I'm sorry that you receive any slimy messages. But it's atleast good to hear that it's not the majority. I was in another thread where a post said that the majority of messages she received were slimy! I was shocked
@Envie Great idea! More details on who they're looking for would help cut down on the messages somewhat at least.
@CuddleDuncan
We [men] are all part of the problem, it's only a question of degree.
Yawn. I've always found it completely ridiculous for people to hold others accountable for the actions of third parties because they share the same genitalia or skin color or whatever. I'm not responsible for the actions of other men. Never was, never will be.
@CuddleMeLater I feel that even though I can't control the actions of other it would be dismissive to have a whatever attitude towards it as so many times on here women have stated there are significant issues with their behavior.
@pmvines I have no idea what a "whatever" attitude is, or how I've demonstrated one, or what this has to do with my comment.
Every single one of us men that refuse to show are faces here are creepy here.
If we want female enthusiasts to show up, we must be honest and vulnerable about who we are
LOL. Sometimes this forum gets into a circlejerk of "women are saints and men are pigs" and anyone who doesn't participate is cast as a chauvinist asshole.
I have no problem calling out men for bad behavior.
But no, @ChibiShema , I'm not creepy just because I'm an anonymous man on this forum.
No, @CuddleDuncan , I'm not "part of the problem" just because I'm a man.
I speak the truth
Personal attack and profanity. @CuddleMeLater - you've been warned prior. [-Sid]
@ChibiShema What about the women who don't show their faces? Are they also creepy? There are plenty of those profiles in my area. Yet they never get called out. But since I don't show my picture, I understand why they don't either and we can just swap photos when we message each other.
Not if we want female enthusiast stay and use this website. What is here for them? They don’t have the opportunity to pay for cuddle services unless it is with another woman.
We have to market ourselves, men. We have to make this a place where women want to come.
What is here for them?
How about the many hundreds of male cuddlers that are here, from which they can have their pick. Granted, maybe a large percentage of those male cuddlers are dumbasses, but there are a lot more options for women here than there are for men... but somehow I feel like we've gone over this before.
Are we really men that want to cuddle or are we just relationshiply frustrated men?