I contend that a Paid Cuddler is just as likely to reply as a Pro.
If they're accepting clients, and they think you're a good fit then "poof" cuddle time.
The difference is... with one you may just be getting a being who's into cuddling but needs/wants financial compensation for their time. And with the other you'd know that they are the same AND have an extra set of skills they bring to the cuddle that goes beyond the basics.
I'm tagging everyone on this thread.
CC does not set or establish rates. Rates are at the complete discretion of the Professional. This General forum is NOT to be used to complain, bemoan, nor shame rates. Please keep this in mind, because I am happy to start closing threads as soon as anyone does so. The OP had a viable topic, but discussing and asking Professionals to justify rates is a guaranteed future thread-killer: the breadth and width of these kinds of posts span thousands of comments over multiple years. Please don't make more. Thanks.
@Tazman5307, @CuddleMeLater, @Mike403, @NightShift39, @hollywoodhugs, @Invisible_Touch, @Envie, @squeakytoy, @creedhands, @BotWithFeelings, @introvme, @quixotic_life, @BbwCuddleBuddy7, @sunnysideup, @TheGMan, @xelda, @FlyingToaster
@Sideon ~ I didn't say anything about rates.
Sorry if it read that way though. I was really only speaking to safety and standards.
@quixotic_life - He tagged everybody who participated in this thread.
I know... 😒🙇♀️
@quixotic_life - I wanted to be sure all participants in the thread were notified, that's all. No harm, no foul.
@introvme ~ Ah... So you're saying I've asked this before?? About site liability?? In relation to the types of proposed changes I just posted here or to something else?? Because I've been sitting on all those thoughrs for a couple months now, and no, I don't remember unleashing any of that before today... or getting a reply that could be construed as answering the question.
And I'm certain that the treads I was involved in, that were removed, had nothing at all to do with improving safety and/or teasing out standards.
added: @Sideon ~ Thank you.
Seriously, thank you @Sideon.
Oof had to reread my post and see what I had said was worried for a second there sheesh, I personally don't care what who asks as compensation since I'm not the one compensating. shrugs
@quixotic_life
In our society, "Professional", implies one has done something to have achieve this status and are there by qualified to do what they are claiming to be "Professionsls" of, and to be compensated for doing so.
There's one other person on the forum that tries to make this same point. I don't really get it. As @Mike403 pointed out, "professional" has always meant someone who gets paid to do something. No more, no less. Yes, in general we expect someone who's a professional to be more skilled than someone who's an amateur, but that's not inherent to the meaning of the word. If you want two tiers of paid/pro cuddlers, OK, but I think the terminology "paid" and "professional" would confuse a lot of people.
There are many people certifying people these days. I haven't seen a training on here..but there might be people advertising they train people. Some peoples training in 1 or 2 weekends long, depending on if you are doing one on one cuddling or group cuddling, while others day a 7-10 day long cuddling training. I know of one that is all online and I think it is go at your own pace and one that is much more extensive. Yes there is training...as you need to know all the comes up in cuddling...it isn't as easy as you think. I used to facilitate and I used to do get paid to do one on one cuddling sessions...some parts of it is heaven, other parts make you want to quit and never do it again. It isn't an easy profession that you get trained in and then sit back and cuddle people and relax. You are the space holder...the one to stop people if they try to make it sexual, you are the one to listen to all of their life cares and worries, hold space for tears, laughter, you may massage them, or have to guide them through any number of things.
I've been a healer all my life, so I did well with it. After awhile I just wanted to cuddle for fun and not have men be mad at me for not having classes even with men and women. So I chose to just do it for fun. I put cuddling in some of my couples work....but then everyone is coupled so no worries and angry glares any more...which makes me very happy! And them happy as well.
So, if you are considering this as a profession, look around, there are probably a good 100+ people training people in the US alone. And I highly recommend getting trained. As you don't want something happening and not having any clue on how to handle it and either be humiliated or sued. It is for everyone's safety!
@Mike403 I have to share with you on your comment "Cuddlers aren't teaching anything and they aren't therapists." most cuddle professionals are not therapists but their clients come to them and share things they would in a therapists office, putting the professional in the position of being a therapist...just like they do hair stylist...which I have been professional at both. It isn't an easy job...I don't recommend anyone sign up for they don't have a background on how to handle trauma or with some psyche training. Professionals cuddles teach a lot...if they are professionals they are teaching boundaries, how to ask for what they want, how to honor themselves. I had someone come to me for a year once a week. He grew so much confidence in that year, he started a mens group, held the longest relationship of his life, was happier then ever, started living his dreams and he shared with me it had everything to do with our sessions together. As he got to really learn how to himself in our sessions together. I held space for him to grow...and he turned into an amazing man that moved across the country to pursue is dream! So...many on this site probably do not do what professional cuddlers do...they just get paid to cuddle, but a real Pro does so much more then cuddle...we change lives!
@creedhands Being a massage therapist and a former professional cuddler I can tell you, I wouldn't want the state or government telling me what I can charge. I've been a body working for 41 years ( i started with my family as a child), professionally for 31 years. Most people who come to me for a massage say things like "I thought I had a massage before, but I haven't, this is the best thing I have ever had...this is what I have been missing. Thank you". Most people are doing a cookie cutter massage they learned in school. I started doing massage long before I went to school for friends and family and then when I got in school, my teacher said "what you doing here? You should be teaching". But I had to start somewhere...I wouldn't want some cookie cutter massage therapist getting paid what I get paid and i wouldn't want to get paid what they should be getting paid. Just like you with your work. People need to get paid for what they are worth...in whatever they line of work it.
And when I was being a Pro cuddler...I charged more as I held a very safe container and I wanted people that weren't there to just drive me crazy wanting things I didn't give...which some did find me...but they were either redirected or asked to leave. Cuddling when you do it as a real healing profession...should be charging much more then what most charge. As we are therapists, moms, dads, sisters, best friends, brothers and every person they have ever had an issue with and we give a ton...all the while holding them, caressing their face or hair or letting them cry.
@squeakytoy ...there are hundreds of trainings for cuddling now in the US. I recommend many of them...they are amazing! Incredible teachers, incredible trainings!!!
@CuddleMeYummy good points! But I never said anything about government or state dictating price. That would come about naturally (if cuddling were mainstream) through natural business competition. In my area, your can get a good hour long massage for $60-$70. You probably wouldn't go to someone who charges that low in LA or NYC. Its the supply and demand and market saturation that dictates the price. (Note: I am not complaining about pricing on this site)
@quixotic_life well thought out in all aspects of accountability! I agree there should be client accountability also. Credit cards and photo ID at a minimum.
@Sideon as a moderator, what are your thoughts on professional training/client accountability?
I don't think this site wants to get into all of this training, regulation, vetting, etc. I believe, and could be wrong, they want to be nothing more than a Craigslist type of platform designated for cuddling only.
This site promotes cuddling standards, @Frz2020 , not a free-for-all aka Craigslist. There are standards and codes of conduct that are expected from enthusiasts, pros, and clients. Those expecting or LOOKING for a Craigslist-type of experience are welcome to look elsewhere.
Thanks for reviving the "dead," @BellaSera - the topic and concepts are important.
Even though it may have started a while ago, the last comment before mine was January 20th. Is that really considered a dead thread? Interesting. Craigslist might not have been the right comparison, I just meant it's an ad posting site for independent cuddlers. Seems they don't want to get into background checks, taking client payments, professional education, sending everyone a 1099 form for taxes, etc.
Craigslist isn't quite the right comparison, although off the top of my head I'm not sure what is. The key point is that CC is a social networking site, not an agency.
I have noticed that CC is very keen to avoid anything that might lead to it being construed as an agency, because that would put it in a very different legal position. Doing background checks or taking payments is the kind of thing an agency does, and so CC doesn't.
Agewise, I sometimes think that anything on page 2 is an 'old' thread. There is no rule about bringing up old threads as far as I know, other than 'use your common sense'.
I'll keep that in mind and try to use my common sense when I'm reading and thinking of commenting.
@Frz2020, I didn’t mean to give you a hard time. This thread is not necessarily so old, you’re right. The issue of pro certification and training is just a perennial debate, but you did bring up and under explored facet.
We have to do countless hours of training that is ongoing to always renew our license/certification. We even need 500,000 hours of cuddling practice on top of it to be able to even sit for the license/certification.
Kidding. We just cuddle and pay a fee from the booking.
@squeakytoy that is like always required if you're working at an actual business run place. But yes I looked through all that first from the Cuddle To Me person who runs a cuddle therapy place.
@Amortentia Sorry, I'm super confused! I saw you tagged me, but I'm not sure which comment of mine you're responding to here. Was it the FOSTA-SESTA one? (since this is an old thread, a lot of it isn't fresh in my mind anymore)
@squeakytoy sorry!lol I bet you are confused. I'm just late to joining this thread. It's like all the good stuff has been discussed before me lol. It was actually to your last post on the first page.
"Holy crap, would you believe there are some certifications for professional cuddling? I had no idea until a few minutes ago:
https://www.certifiedcuddlers.com/certification/"
@Amortentia Ohhhh, right! Okay, it all makes sense now. Thanks for clarifying!
@Tazman5307 the topic took off indeed! I guess I just want to give my 2 cents, after a month on this site. At first I wanted to find a non-pro; personally, there was something about cuddling with someone that would be there not just because of being paid; also, I always loved this type of interaction and have something to offer in terms of cuddling. Regarding the fees: one of the reasons that I understand is the risk involved - even though the 'good guys' will have to cover the "creep premium". Nevertheless, I actually decided contacting more pros now; I'll love to learn and get more from their experiences, and really look forward to my first appointment in the near future.
It did take off. Love the voices heard in here +