Do Men Like Cuddling More Than Women?

[Deleted User]Sleepingduck (deleted user)
edited April 2021 in General

Despite traditional beliefs about what makes men and women happy in relationships, a study found that cuddling and caressing are more important to men than they are to women. Do you agree with this? or what do you think do women like cuddling more than men?

Comments

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    Since there are more men on the site than women , that’s probably true

  • [Deleted User]SnugglePurrs (deleted user)

    I know in my country males hardly ever hug each other, let alone cuddle, where as females almost always seem to hug and cuddle. Males and females typically only hug each other, unless particularly close. So perhaps the need for males cuddling in relationships, comes from it being the only likely source for them?

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    Men and women are no different. They have the same wants and needs. The way they go about meeting those needs is often rooted in learned behavior, not innate. Both men, women and non-binaries want and need to be cuddled equally to varying degrees.

  • littermatelittermate

    In all the relationships with men I've been in, I've liked cuddling the same as or more than my partners. In all the relationships with men I've been in, all the men conflated sex with cuddling and sex was the bigger interest for them, cuddling was just a side thingie and not necessary if they could have the sex part. For me cuddling was necessary to even feel connected enough to have sex, and I would have loved a lot more of it without any sex. Small sample of about 10 men there.

    More men on this site has nothing to do with men liking cuddling more than women. It has everything to do with how relatively safe each gender feels cuddling strangers (and who knows what other factors, but I'm betting by far it is primarily because of that - even more than "women can cuddle their friends" since most women actually don't cuddle their friends in my experience). We women expect to have stuff happen to us that we aren't interested in, and alas, that is what follows more times than we'd like. The hassle of screening for which men are the ones that aren't gonna do that takes advanced skills and patience and interest and most women would just rather go find a lover, not because we don't like cuddling -- we like safe cuddling where we're not groped, propositioned, etc. Key to that is getting to know and trust someone.

    IMO, conditioning has so much to do with men hugging each other. The boys in my daughter's school and pre-school groups were all over each other, snuggling, holding hands, etc. until the conditioning kicked in and they stopped.

    There are so many individual variations though!

  • MaullySterlingMaullySterling

    Studies like that, are very subjective, so nothing to bank on.

    All ppl need contact, connection, closeness. Toddlers don't develop emotionally healthily, without it. Adults become depressed without.

    With women, we hug our friends, our kids, our parents, daily. With men, and the culture of toxic masculinity we have, there's too often the idea that you're "gay", a wimp, whatever, if you also desire these natural pack bonding behaviours.

    I've known men who have no memory of ever hugging their dad, even as a child, but only a handshake. WTH is that?

    Often, straight men will pursue sexual relationships, to access acceptable cuddles, even though they're not that interested in sex, or sex with that woman.

    So, while women are able to meet these needs anywhere, men are not as easily able to, bringing the false conclusion cuddling and caressing are more important to men, than women.

  • [Deleted User]Cuddle8uddies (deleted user)

    I don't know about you but I LOVE to cuddle!! Others that cuddle with me like to rub my back n okay with my hair while we cuddle n for them that's what they like to do in their cuddle I ABSOLUTLY LOVE IT!¡ Most guys like being cuddled I think because they have to have a specific image to up hold all day n really they would rather be cuddling so i would say men defiantly want to cuddle more than women, in my opinion.

  • Sunrise_SnuggleSunrise_Snuggle

    Nope. Women cuddle each other but rarely cuddle men outside of relationships. Men don't like to cuddle each other. Both men and women prefer cuddling women. Some men don't care much about cuddling as long as they get sex. For other men, cuddling is more important than sex.

  • [Deleted User]SnugglePurrs (deleted user)
    edited April 2021

    The talk about the culture I grew up in, is something I've been reflecting on a lot since joining the site. I ended up updating my profile since reading the comments here. It definitely applies to me that the culture has conditioned a response in me, that I can't logically justify.

    @MaullySterling What you say rings very true, that was the culture I grew up in and the only physical contact I remember with my father was being put over his knee when I was bad. When I was trying to pursue finding a relationship recently, the top three things I craved was cuddling, someone to read to and not sleeping alone. Sex is an anxiety ridden hurdle I would need to get through to have those things, I even tried contacting several Asexuals. Sexual desire comes after the emotional connection for me.

    I can't promise I'll manage to break the 'conditioning', but thank-you for making me want to try.

  • bekah_cuddlesbekah_cuddles

    I strongly agree with @MaullySterling. All people, regardless of gender, have the same need for physical touch and connection. However, due to toxic masculinity and ridiculous societal standards, it may appear easier and more acceptable for women to get the cuddles they need as opposed to men. Because of that, I do believe women are getting these needs met more often than men, which is why it may seem that cuddles are more "important" to men (who are likely just more cuddle deficient), but cuddles are just as important to all genders.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @Sleepingduck do you have a link to that study? (It's not that I don't believe you, I'm just curious!)

    You say that the study found that cuddling was more important to men, but your question related to liking cuddling, which isn't the same thing at all.

  • [Deleted User]Sleepingduck (deleted user)
    edited April 2021

    Sure this is the link from ABC news
    https://abcnews.go.com/Health/kissing-cuddling-important-men-women-long-term-relationships/story?id=14022238

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Thanks. It's significant that the underlying study was considering people who have been in relationships for an average of 25 years, meaning an average age of at least 40 and probably rather more.

  • ryechipsryechips

    Based on my experience, yes. Just one girlfriend could match my cuddle needs. The rest I had to cuddle when they felt like it

  • MaullySterlingMaullySterling

    @SnugglePurrs continue to grow. I hope you find what you're looking for

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    Anecdotal evidence: it's more important to me than it was to my ex, who claimed to be a woman.

  • [Deleted User]SnugglePurrs (deleted user)

    @MaullySterling I'll try and thank-you

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    I'd say the sexes like and want cuddling equally but the options for men outside of a committed relationship are pretty much non-existent. Hence men have to resort to paying for cuddles and women have no difficulty selling the service.

  • BrianLBrianL

    I don't know about liking, but I think men may appreciate it more, as it is far more rare for men to get cuddles when/if they want it. Whereas women I imagine have an easier time of it. Maybe not easy, but easier.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup
    edited April 2021

    @BrianL People want what they can't have type thing? Or supply vs. demand I guess haha.

    Individually, we are all different. Some people just don't like cuddling that much regardless of demographic. We here on the forum supposedly do, so we may be a biased crowd if we think we are typical representatives of our gender. Saying that men as group like cuddling more than women as a group, or vice versa, implies that something about either our society or biology, or likely most accurately some combination of both, creates this difference in appreciation. I really don't know a lot about this stuff, so my opinion doesn't really matter too much.

    Here's my opinion: My gut says that that men and women on average equally like cuddling, but men have a harder time connecting with others via platonic touch (because of how we are socialized), seem to have a bit harder time dating (on average, based on some statistics on dating as well as observations in real life) which means less cuddles through dating (platonic or otherwise), and have far less fear of physical violence when meeting strangers. If these observations are true, then this cocktail would make it so that there are higher number of men that are more likely to both crave and be likely to actually cuddle with someone, but who really knows.

  • TheMidnightOwlTheMidnightOwl

    I think men have a greater void/need in this area because boys are socialized to not be physically demonstrative or affectionate unless it’s sexual or leading to sex, and so that leads parents to stop showing love to their sons through physical touch at younger ages than they do with daughters. Obviously, I’m generalizing and there are exceptions but this is very common in our society.

  • CuddleSquidCuddleSquid

    Some men might generally appreciate or crave it more because society teaches boys and men that they are only allowed to have touch/affection through play-fighting/violence or completely monogamous relationships, and so often only as a precursor for sexual acts... all of which really sucks for everyone! Other than societal influence, it totally depends/varies, I'm sure. Oh...what everyone else said. :P

  • ZacRedBearZacRedBear

    I strongly agree with others on here that men may appreciate cuddling more since we’re typically conditioned against casual, physical affection. As mentioned by @CuddleSquid , play wrestling/fighting specifically formed the bulk of my physical affection with other boys growing up, and those were easily my favorite friends/family to be around.

    As for women, only my mother, her work friends, a grandmother, and two aunts hugged me often while growing up. Physical affection through the rest of my female relatives was just as lacking as the males. That may be rare from others’ perspective, but I think it also shows that people are people, and preferences vary with us all. Society just has a way of warping our views to believe in what’s “supposed” to be normal.

  • HugAnEwokHugAnEwok

    SnugglePurrs’ first comment summed up my thoughts perfectly.

  • Rocket_ManRocket_Man

    I used to think there was a thing about women complaining that there bfs/spouses did not like to cuddle. This place shows me those women are just dating/marrying the wrong men.

    In fact I am sure there are plenty of single men on here that would like to find a meaningful relationship. It may sound counterintuitive but if some of the single ladies struggling on the dating apps looked through a site like this and looked at some of these guys profiles and their karma to do a no strings attatched cuddle maybe some love connections could be made. Then again i guess that would change the purpose of this site so nevermind.

  • [Deleted User]Bear55 (deleted user)

    I think it's probably more difficult for men to participate in cuddling (whether with a woman, or with another man). I suspect if a man were to try to cuddle with a woman who isn't his girlfriend or wife, it would either become sexual for him, or the woman might be concerned that it could become sexual. And for a man to cuddle with another man, would bring on the suspicion of being gay, when he may not be at all. Just my opinion, though.

  • cuddleYouMecuddleYouMe
    edited April 2021

    I can't speak directly to the degree that women want cuddles, but for men, generally unless you're a kid, the only 'socially acceptable or normal' mode for them to get cuddles is in romantic relationships. If you believe in the 5 love languages, affection is one of them, so it can make it hard for men to meet that need. That said, there could be substitutes, like other tactile activities like sports, a high five, pat on the back, ballroom dancing, or cuddling with pets. But men are oftentimes looked at with suspicion, and girls are much more apt to receive cuddles if they wanted.

    I mean, that pretty much all the pro cuddlers are women and they can charge high amounts and men still go for it, tells you something as to the availability of cuddles for men versus for women.

    So while both may have a need, men get it much more rarely (if at all) compared to women. It'd be nice if that would change, as everyone needs platonic physical touch to some degree. It's healthy to have it, and unhealthy to not have it. We used to have a couple cuddle party type groups here in phoenix AZ, sadly those closed down. It's hard to balance, as at times, there would be a lot more men than women attending said events. Both organizers were women, though something like a cuddle party event would need to be led by women methinks if it hoped to get women to join in.

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    I don’t know if men like cuddling more than women . I do know the forums have plenty more examples of men talking about being unable to find people to cuddle. The Irony, which I have never been able to express clearly enough , is how daily this forum has men disrespecting and being just plain out rude to women , then typically followed up with they can’t find a women to cuddle with. I use to find it amusing years ago, but now I’m numb to it. Trying to rationalize irrational behavior here is very time consuming and exhausting. Thank you moderators for doing the unpleasant work here 👍

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