Do a lot of cuddlers have a foot fetish?

AmortentiaAmortentia
in General

I don't really know how else to describe it. I have a cuddler from this site who does have a foot fetish but then today met with a new client (not from this site) and he too has a foot fetish. I feel like after spending time with both of them that I am like a foot model or something. I don't know how I feel about that exactly. Do you have a foot fetish cuddler? If so, your thoughts on them? I never thought I'd ever meet one in my life. Do they normally show up in cuddle therapy? How do you work with their fetish?

Comments

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan
    edited May 2021

    Ahem, if I may quote from the Terms and Conditions ....

    When communicating with another member, you agree to never indicate a desire to cuddle while doing any of the following: (1) being nude, (2) wearing only underwear, (3) kissing, (4) groping, (5) satisfying a fetish or kink, and (6) anything of a non-platonic nature.

    It's not that rare in life as a whole (something to do with adjacent areas of the brain) and usually pretty harmless in itself. If the guy is nice and you're cool with it then I'd say it's not a big deal. However, you're perfectly entitled to give a hard no.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    Feel free to report them! Looking to satisfy any sort of kink is not allowed here, even if it seems innocuous enough (foot fetish, smoking fetish, etc).

  • AmortentiaAmortentia

    @CuddleDuncan yes and it's not like too extreme yet but wouldn't want it to go there to say no. Just kinda looking for input on how others handled it without having a possible fetish go out of hand. So if it can be controlled by them then fine but if it can't then have people usually reported them without talking to them first or did they handle it differently to see where it resolved and both were happy in the end still. Just I'm a little new to the new people like that so wanting to know other people's experiences.

    @squeakytoy well the one from this site was a one time cuddle and it was fairly ok but then again haven't had another session with that one to see if things worsened. By my today's cuddle that I just had isn't someone from this site so wouldn't be able to report that one! Lol. Just wondering how many interesting clients I'll still meet I guess.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    @Amortentia Ahh okay, that's fair! Honestly, I can understand that it might be tough to know where to draw the line on something like this - something like foot massage could hardly be considered a non-platonic service. But just know that there's always the option to report someone who asks you to do weird stuff with feet.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited May 2021

    I wanna meet someone with a foot fetish to do my feet so I can maybe stop having to spend so much at the salon. Pedis are expensive!

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan
    edited May 2021

    Miss Fozzard Finds Her Feet
    One of Alan Bennett's Talking Heads

    Video may not be available in your country.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p08ftpky/alan-bennetts-talking-heads-series-1-11-miss-fozzard-finds-her-feet

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs
    edited May 2021

    @Amortentia I'm wondering what made this a fetish? Or if you really meant fetish? Fetish infers sexual.

    I have had several cuddles that involved feet. One woman liked to rub my feet with her feet while we cuddled. She was really good at it and I picked up this particular skill from her and was able to return the favor as we did all the things that platonic cuddlers like to do. I view this particular activity as just an extension of cuddling to the feet, similar to hand-holding. The workshops I've done have never mentioned feet at all. So although foot cuddling might not be much of a thing, just because it's feet doesn't necessarily make it a fetish.

    In one workshop I did, a woman was having a hard time with the whole cuddle concept. So, as we talked I suggested we extend our legs out and place the bottoms of our feet together. This led to legs crossed, sitting face to face, hand holding, forearms, and ultimately, her first full cuddle. In this case, feet became the most distant, safe place to start.

  • bekah_cuddlesbekah_cuddles

    I've actually met several foot fetishists and they're honestly some of the nicest people I've met. If they just wanted to snuggle and/or massage my feet, I'd be okay with that. But anything like kissing can quickly become non-platonic and is inappropriate for this site.

  • UCpaaHVg6u0UCpaaHVg6u0
    edited May 2021

    I would be careful about describing something as a fetish. I do foot massages, and that's one of the most desperately needed places to work on. I certainly don't consider my job to be sex work. It's legitimate to want to have feet touched in the context of relaxation and feeling connected to somebody.

    *I ought to have mentioned that I'm a licensed massage therapist.

  • AmortentiaAmortentia

    @PeopleLikeUs these ones would easily fall into this category that @bekah_cuddles said if I don't say no to them. So hope that it answers your question:

    But anything like kissing can quickly become non-platonic and is inappropriate for this site.

    Since I've two of these clients. One asked first and one attempted to check if ok by action first. But yeah...just need to make sure they know that it won't work for me and that they're able to comply for further sessions.

    You would label it differently @UCpaaHVg6u0 ? I wasn't quite sure on what word to use.

  • AmortentiaAmortentia

    @bekah_cuddles yeah like a massage is fine to me too. I usually do little massages as well like back or something. Or what @PeopleLikeUs said below is fine too.

    I view this particular activity as just an extension of cuddling to the feet, similar to hand-holding.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    I don't know if there's a general consensus among the moderators on this, but I'd personally draw the line at people asking you to do things like... (spoiler: potentially NSFW descriptions)

    ... let them suck your toes or place/rub your feet on areas that would be covered by a swimsuit.

    Foot massages are not a big deal. But of course, if you feel uncomfortable with them, feel free to set a personal boundary there.

  • Solo40Solo40

    I like massaging pretty feet myself. Not to misconstrue with any kind of fetish or kink. It can be a ice breaker or part of the cuddle. Communication and comfort level beforehand is key.

  • bekah_cuddlesbekah_cuddles

    @squeakytoy Precisely, but that's because those specific things very obviously go against the site rules:

    -No sexual advances. All activity is strictly platonic.
    - Both parties must remain clothed.
    - No touching in areas covered by undergarments.
    - Cleanliness and adequate hygiene is required.

    As long as the feet aren't touching anywhere covered by undergarments and it doesn't become sexual (i.e. kissing), I don't think there's anything wrong with touching, stroking, massaging, or rubbing feet if both parties consent to that and feel comfortable with it. I do know a few people who hate having their feet touched.

    So far, the guys who have wanted to touch my feet have been very respectful about the whole thing. If they ask politely and you don't mind having your feet touched, I think it could be very beneficial. There are a lot of nerve endings in the foot and it can feel wonderful to have them touched.

    Personally, I love foot massages and I've also found they're one of the best things for curing headaches. Also, I don't know about anyone else, but my feet are almost always cold and it feels great having them warmed.

  • MattsWeatherMattsWeather

    @Amortentia I think the bottom line is that as long as anything foot related is of a platonic nature AND you (as well as your client) are personally comfortable with it, then it's totally fine within the context of a platonic cuddle session.

  • oberonoberon

    I have the opposite of that, no bare feet please and if you promise not to touch mine i promise to not touch yours!

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    @oberon I hear you. I HATE having my feet touched! I always tell massage therapists to avoid them entirely.

  • UCpaaHVg6u0UCpaaHVg6u0

    @bekah_cuddles Thank you! Validating the way you said that!

    @squeakytoy To my ears, not that I would contest your wishes, but down the road I would hope that a good LMT gets you to want to overcome that impediment! Disliking touch might be a sign that discomfort/pain is chronically present.

  • MattsWeatherMattsWeather

    @Amortentia You said: "Yes and it's not like too extreme yet but wouldn't want it to go there to say no."
    So correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like your main concern is that if you consent to platonic foot touching in a session, you worry it may lead to the client attempting to cross the sexual line, since sexual foot fetishes are common.
    I feel the best way to approach this is all about the level of trust and the rapport you have built with a particular client. If it's a client you've known a long time and trust, I doubt they would be asking about touching feet with an ulterior motive, but if it's a new client and they give you a creepy vibe in the way they ask then I'd be more suspect about it.
    You could also have an open and honest conversation about it with the particular client the same way you've shared it with us here and see how they respond to that. My guess is if you lay your concerns out on the table, the client's true intent will become clear quickly before it gets into an out of hand situation physically.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)
    edited May 2021

    Spoiler, off-topic reply!

    @UCpaaHVg6u0 To be fair, you're probably right that I shouldn't keep ignoring this - a few massage therapists have suspected I have some kind of dermatome issues and should talk to my doctor. It seems like such an awkward thing to make an appointment about, but maybe it's time to bite the bullet and just do it. Thanks for the push!

  • UCpaaHVg6u0UCpaaHVg6u0
    edited May 2021

    @squeakytoy I have to look up that word! In Canada, training for MTs is I believe 3 years, while in the States it is mere months. 😞 But I like to think that doing this for six years has taught me something! I love this work more than anything I've ever done because once in a while I'm able to really help people.

    *Awesome word, dermatome! So there's a treatment modality that we've started offering at the spa I'm at, which is the Theragun®️. The right frequency of the reciprocating tip gently applied will interrupt pain signaling! However, where I was headed originally in my thinking was along the lines of treating the calves, but there is also the possibility that the sciatic nerve might be impinged.

  • [Deleted User]APV (deleted user)
    edited May 2021

    Foot massages are my favorite platonic favor to give. I kindly boundary-check every cuddler I ever meet, especially pros but even non-pros. I expect pros to not only receive foot massages but also return the favor simultaneously. I expect non-pros to at least receive foot massages, but I don't expect them to return the favor as they're not charging me money.
    It sucks that the intensity of my interest in foot massage has been compared to that of foot fetishists. A sign language student I met in 2011 jumped to the conclusion that my interest in foot massage was sexual when it is NOT:

    Her: You love feet!
    Me: But NOT in a sexual way!
    Her: Many men like feet sex.

    @MissX has enjoyed foot massages from me, mentions it in karma she has left on my current account, and has never seen me become sexually aroused while massaging her feet. No cuddler ever will, pro or non. I make sure of that! @AutumnLovesYa also enjoyed foot massages from me and stated in karma left on my old account that my foot massage skills made the long drive from her area to mine worthwhile.

    I actually started this thread about foot massages years ago under my old account: https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/4391/foot-massages

    @Mark replied to my thread. After reading his response, I got so scared, decided to delete that account and simply be off CC for nearly 2 years. At that time I was a lot more emotionally fragile from an even nastier second breakup with my virginity taker earlier that year. Had I been banned for any reason, especially something I believe is so harmless like expressing an interest in foot massage, I would have been so crushed I would have checked myself in the ER for suicidal ideation again.

    Between then and this current thread, there was one other thread: https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/8174/foot-massage

    However, this current thread seems to be a much more lighthearted yet honest conversation. Nobody's suggesting anyone should be on forum timeout, banned, etc. just for wanting to include foot massages in sessions with a pro or when meeting another non-pro.

  • MattsWeatherMattsWeather
    edited May 2021

    @APV I think it's very courageous of you to share on here the mental health struggles you were having back then. It serves as a reminder that we should never be quick to judge or jump to conclusions without taking the time to understand the whole person and all the facts. You never really know what someone is going through.
    On another note, I definitely think the platonic touch world as a whole has evolved since 2018. I think there is more of an understanding now that there are a lot of things that often have sexual connotations that are truly fully platonic for many pro cuddlers and cuddle clients. Like I said in my previous post, I think it's really all about the level of trust you have in your cuddle partner that there isn't an ulterior motive with something like feet touching.

  • [Deleted User]APV (deleted user)

    Thank you, @MattsWeather💛 Yes I agree that we have a lot better understanding now.

  • [Deleted User]Starlost (deleted user)
    edited May 2021

    I always consider platonic as Intent/Reception.

    I like brushing a snuggle's hair.
    To me, it's sweet, tender, sincere, caretaking, pampering. And platonic.

    But if I were brushing someone's hair and she reacts like that dinner scene of When Hairy Met Sally (YouTube When Hairy Met Sally Dinner Scene if you're unfamiliar with the movie) then, from my point of view, the reception has changed despite my intent and it's no longer platonic.

    A foot rub can be as platonic as a simple back rub.
    A foot rub can be as erotic as a simple back rub.

    If your intent is platonic, and their reception appears equally platonic, then everything should be OK. It's all up to comfort level and ALWAYS feel free to put on the breaks if things exceed comfort level. It doesn't matter if it's a cuddle friend or a client.

  • Bella_SeraBella_Sera

    Thank you @MattsWeather for that reminder to treat each other kindly and to assume good faith. I have so much empathy for folks who stick their neck out and ask a question in the forums only to be publicly shamed and accused of being a creep or of not being here for the “right reasons.” I have a SUPER difficult time asking for what I need in life, and it pains me to witness the lack of compassion some folks are subjected to. It takes a lot of courage to seek out cuddles from a stranger and even more to communicate how you like to be touched.

    @APV, I’m really glad you came back to give it another try. Welcome.

    @Starlost, come and brush my hair anytime, lol.

  • Tiny_BubblesTiny_Bubbles

    Foot fetish is the most common type of fetish. Chances are you've met many such people who simply are not as open about it. People you meet while cuddling will be more open since cuddling is a vulnerable activity that brings up many emotions that have to do with romance and sexual feelings. Also, it attracts some very bold folks who might be more eager to lay it all out on the table. There is nothing wrong with someone having a particular fetish so long as they keep behavior appropriate within the boundaries you have set and the Terms of Service of this site. Sexual preferences are a part of being human. Sexual energy has a time and place.

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited May 2021

    I think a foot fetish is more common among women. That's why women usually own more shoes than men. You will see many more photos of women's feet in women's magazines than in men's magazines. And many more women than men get regular pedicures where their feet are rubbed, moisturized and pampered. Personally, I can't see much difference between a foot rub and playing with someone's hair. Both might be described as a 'kink'. I agree with what @Starlost said.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @UKGuy: Wait... you think the male obsession with the female foot which produced everything from Egyptian, Greek, and Roman sandals that provided the least amount of coverage possible to Chinese foot-binding, finally culminating in a truly stunning variety of foot decoration for women (but not for men)... means that women have homosexual fetishes for one another's feet? Which is why women's magazines have so many pictures of women's feet?

    Man, that's a weird conclusion. Might as well say men have muscle fetishes, which is why they spend so much time toning and oiling themselves up with sweat.

    Anyway, like @Tiny_Bubbles said: lots of people have foot fetishes, and cuddlers are people, so. Just keep away from whatever turns you and/or your buddy on—be it feet or hair or crotches or whatever—and you're all good. Arousal's a nice feeling and all, but it doesn't go here. If it pops up, put it away.

    @Starlost is right: it's about intent and reception.

    Don't work with their fetish, @Amortentia! You're a cuddler, not a provider of sexual pleasure. They can enjoy themselves that way elsewhere.

  • [Deleted User]Chris55555 (deleted user)
    edited May 2021

    I’m an enthusiast and ran into a couple of people who have fetishes in conversation. Comment removed. CC is not a site to promote or solicit non-platonic conversations or messages. [-Sid] None of them pushed their interests on me, we were just chatting about life and interests and we openly shared in conversation.

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