How do you message someone you're interested in cuddling?

AlexorheiAlexorhei
in General

Hi cuddlers

What sort of message do you send first time to a CC member that you'd be interested in cuddling?

Do you go with
"Hey. Would you like to meet to cuddle?" which doesn't seem to work for me

At the same time "hey. How you doing?" seems a bit too mundane

Any suggestions please?

Comments

  • [Deleted User]DarkLordChungus (deleted user)

    "My flesh calls out to you. Have you heard it? Perhaps you mistook the sound for the rumbling of thunder, or the shrieks of those in unendurable pain. Whatever the case, I desire to form an amorphous, platonic mass with you. What do you say? I eagerly await your response here, or in the realm of dreams."

    Works every time.

  • [Deleted User]BigBear4Cuddles (deleted user)

    Brilliant. IT_Crowd_Brilliant.gif

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Since you read the forums, may I suggest the following?

    “I read the Cuddle Comfort forum threads and discovered that I wear too much cologne, I like jokes that ridicule low wage workers, and that I think COVID was a ruse for the government to poison my body. I bet reading that you think the world is in a hand basket and some old curmudgeon is delivering us to an unsightly place beneath the earth’s crust.

    Fortunately, you can change all that by agreeing to meet with me for a coffee and possible cuddle. By saying yes I instantly become shower fresh without cologne, I tip workers handsomely and I am vaccinated. Please, I urge you to do your part to save the world by agreeing to a platonic life affirming cuddle session with me!”

    You can come up with your own opening but you are right—never be boring if possible. Be creative.

  • respectfulrespectful

    @Alexorhei -- This post has some helpful ideas about approaching non-professionals on this site.

    The most memorable part of that post for me is: "approach and treat women as human beings in female form."

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Read the profile of the person you are interested in and craft your approach that demonstrates you have read their profile. For example:

    “I see you enjoy being involved with environmental efforts in your spare time. That is great! Next time you are free can we possibly meet for a potential cuddle session as I am freezing and do not wish to use synthetic heating sources. What better way to save the planet than an organic cuddle session that uses the existing warmth of our bodies as a miniature furnace. I look forward to doing our part in saving this planet.”

  • CatloafCatloaf

    Pretty much everything that’s already been mentioned. I would add in that asking to cuddle right away will throw some people off. Just start connecting organically and without expectations. Most people are new to this, like yourself, and it can take a while to find someone compatible who’s interested.

  • poolmanpoolman

    Much more difficult when person has not put much in way of dets on their profile!

  • carinocarino

    How about ..hello how are you 🤷‍♂️....smh.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Here is my approach. It narrows the field down as to who she might like to cuddle.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Just open a conversation. What is that you want to talk to them about?

    If you don't to talk to them:

    a) why would you want to cuddle them?
    b) why should they talk to you?

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited June 2021

    I think the one and only first message I sent here so far is this: "Hey, how is it going? Do you ever come to Toronto, Canada?"

    @Alexorhei yep, that "Hey. Would you like to meet to cuddle?" sort of first message irritates me because it barely shows any care in anything else about me and essentially goes straight to my body. Like who cares about building rapport, right? I am glad you asked for guidance and hope it helps. :)

    Depending on various factors, I may choose to give someone sending such a message a chance to redeem himself by informing him of my discomfort or saying some variant of I'd like to get to know each other first.

    I'd suggest that you do just that, greet and ask how someone is, how their day (whatever is going). You can ask a bit about their hobbies, more about something that stood out to you on their profile, etc. I wouldn't suggest putting it all in the first message or even online/in messaging, because it is important to leave some things to talk about in person so you can better connect. *Or at least have another way to connect. Though you've some things to choose from.

    Once it seems you two are building rapport you can ask how she thinks you two could persue possibly cuddling/if she'd like to meet sometime and get to know each other (in person). At this point, I'd begin to find out more about one's cuddle preferences and if it seems they are showing interest or happy to be in my company consider doing the same. Then make a move through asking in one way or another. Could be asking to if they'd like to sit closer, hold hands, hug, etc. Or could ask if comfortable to cuddle with you now and what the person would like to start with.

    One of the questions I like to ask is if the person has platonically cuddled before, this can help us gauge how to best approach each other and also emphasis that this is platonic cuddling. Because unfortunately there are a few bad apples or people who may not really have bad intentions however misuse/misunderstand the word cuddling for whatever other reason they may have for doing so.

    Edited for spoilers to make it more concise looking on the forum since I gave a bit of a lengthy response.

  • _marC_marC

    @DarkLordChungus 🤣🤣🤣 YES!!!

  • AlexorheiAlexorhei

    Brilliant
    Thank you cuddlers🤣🤗

  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited June 2021

    Someone wrote to me “I’d like to cuddle you.” And why shouldn’t they? This is a site for meeting people for cuddles. Why be coy about it? Granted, it might usually be better to say “hi” and relate to something in a prospective cuddler’s profile, but in this world of people pussyfooting around, the direct approach can be impressive.

    YMMV

  • [Deleted User]Chris55555 (deleted user)
    edited June 2021

    I’m not sure if it’s helpful but it puts a bad taste in my mouth when anyone’s first message asks “when can we book a session” or “when can we cuddle.” I am an enthusiast and cuddling is not a transaction. I cuddle whom I want, when I want and how I want. For me I have preferred when someone talks to me as they would a casual friend.

    So a first message that says hello and tells me your name and maybe a bit about you, then perhaps mentions something in my profile you liked or explains why you picked me to talk to. Ending with a how is your day going? Lighthearted is good in my books. I enjoy humour, but in a text format everyone’s sense of humour doesn’t translate the first few messages, so I would avoid it. I also don’t enjoy when someone sends another message if I don’t respond quickly. It reduces the likelihood I will respond.

    All of the above is just my opinion on what works for me.

    As a female enthusiast I also get people who don’t respond to my messages. Obviously I’m not what they are looking for in a cuddle buddy.

    Edit: I notice you have gotten lots of good advice above already and my answer is likely redundant. I should mention that I find it easy to go straight to close cuddling with the people I meet in person because I have established that rapport in messaging. Once the comfort level is established through pre-cuddle conversation and I know my boundaries will be respected then it’s easy to snuggle up into a half-spoon position and chat shortly after meeting.

  • SideonSideon

    double post removed - carry on, folks

  • [Deleted User]Chris55555 (deleted user)

    @poolman I completely agree. If I see a blank profile I rarely engage in conversation. Why? It shows me this person is interested in receiving something from the site that they are unwilling to give.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    The most memorable part of that post for me is: "approach and treat women as human beings in female form."

    @respectful You are a wonderful person. Thanks for repeating this.

    (Also, @DarkLordChungus is on point - opening with something so unique, hilarious, and over-the-top would probably lead to a meetup for me :joy: )

  • Jeeplife4meJeeplife4me

    Great thread. This seems like it would be easy but I always wonder if I start the conversation off well. First impressions are so important event virtually. Loved the thoughtful and constructive thoughts so far.

  • MaleKoala_nycMaleKoala_nyc
    edited June 2021

    @Alexorhei , thanks for starting the topic. To everyone, thanks for the advice you all had given,but @Chris55555 resonates me the most. When I joined CC in 2017, i messaged few enthusiasts, in my messages, I started something like "let's cuddle"..."let arrange time to meet"...."looking for platonic cuddling".... After a week, and I still didn't get any responses, only later I had found out that either they hadn't been on the site for years, or I wasn't in their prefer age,or maybe other reasons. Anyway, I got disappointed, I hadn't log on to CC ever since, until this year.
    After my past disappointment, I started looking for pro. why not? (though paying people to get cuddle isn't my first choice). Pro get paid, so that they can make a living, I got cured from touch-deprived.

  • CaptainJedCaptainJed

    If it’s a pro just ask when he/she is available. No sense wasting small talk since he/she is here to make money, not friends. Of course if they vibe back with small talk, then talk to them if that’s your thing.

  • [Deleted User]mrsrobinson (deleted user)

    I like your style nurturing man

  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited June 2021

    @mrsrobinson , you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?

    With a username like that and a compliment like that in a thread like this, I couldn't resist! 😂

    All of which is to say “thank you.” 😊

  • sillysassysillysassy

    Omgosh!!! 😂😂😂 @DarkLordChungus and @FunCartel you guys hahahahhaha TRUTH in the beauty of unapologetically presenting your personality. ❤️❤️❤️
    Like @Chris55555 said.... I’ve reached out to peeps to say hello and haven’t gotten a response so I know that isn’t always easy. It DEFINITELY helps when you say art with something that shows you “see” them. i.e. something they’ve said in the forums.... something in their profile. And if you've been here in the forums at ALL you know @respectful advice is ALWAYS spot on!!
    I think @CuddleDuncan did a fantastic job of a timeline for reaching out as well. (Maybe he will throw it up in here as a reminder 😊)

    Your profile is amazing and I am pretty sure when I head to your part of the world I will find a way to connect with you!!!
    CHEERS!!

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