@CuddleDuncan exactly. This is why I always worry about people who just keep hitting the block button.
Remember that the mods here are not faceless beaurocrats, they are people we know and love. And they all worship frequently and fervently at the altar of common sense.
@CuddleDuncan Awwwwww! We love you too, @CuddleDuncan, you're the best!
I agree @CuddleDuncan but I know a couple of them are ornery.
I’d rather be blocked than ignored. At least blocking is a form of communication. Perhaps not the result I hoped for, but it wouldn’t really bother me. With that measure of certainty, I would simply move on.
Non-responsive cuddlers are a different matter, because I’m left to wonder. I make a maximum of two attempts. My favorite cuddler responded on my 2nd attempt, so I believe that’s reasonable. If a 2nd attempt goes nowhere, I simply block them. No big deal. 99% of the the cuddlers I block will never be aware. Because first they would have to attempt contact.
@Mike403 i knew you blocked me!
All I wanted was for you to answer the question.... what do you want?
Ok just kidding. That wasn't me! 😁
I'm pretty sure I've been blocked a lot (names vanishing from your Visitors list is a good hint) but I can't say I miss any of them. There are more than enough people on here for me to handle a blocking or twenty in good spirits.
Like pretty much everyone else is saying, you can't know why you got blocked. There are a million potential reasons. I figure, if you didn't do anything wrong (i.e., non-platonic), don't worry about it! You don't want to cuddle somebody who doesn't want to cuddle you, no matter what their reason is.
...Meanwhile, my block list has only one name on it (and it's only there because a mod asked me to block them—to avoid drama in private messaging, I'm guessing). I'm not really a blocky person.
I would rather deal with a block on here than a blocked artery. Perspective is always a good thing.
I apparently get blocked when I decide to go to bed and can't respond fast enough to someone trying to schedule a last-minute appointment. 🙃
@xandriarain agree with @CuddleDuncan with what he said, there's no need to wonder why! Your profile is already about as good as it gets.
There is no such thing as blocked for no reason. The person has a reason, whether reasonable or known to others.
Blocking someone has more to do with the person doing the blocking than anything else. Professionals get overwhelmed, I am sure, especially if they have another job besides platonic cuddling clients. I might block someone if I am having a tough day and just want to come on here for some inspiration. The challenge is not to take it personally and move on. This life is far from easy or fair for any of us.
As of last night, I got blocked after respectfully agreeing with a pro that we weren’t a match . She wished me best of luck and all I said was thank you anyway and left it at that. Didn’t say anything else. When I went to check our thread again, it said she blocked me. It’s just very puzzling how people can be impulsive about these things. Well, I wish I had more karma to say this, but people who aren’t willing to give people like me a chance, well they’re kind of missing out on a good cuddle. @pmvines , it seems like you’re a good guy to cuddle too, brother.
She wished me best of luck and all I said was thank you anyway and left it at that. Didn’t say anything else. When I went to check our thread again, it said she blocked me
@the_benergy96 She actually did a lot better than some would in this case. She at least communicated. Just another angle though, when you block people it hides them from search results. So it’s not necessarily about you. I don’t block unless someone’s being an ass to me. Otherwise, I carry on if someone isn’t a fit.
@the_benergy96 , I agree with @Catloaf . The cuddler was professional and agreed that you were not a good match for each other. She could have just agreed that it wasn't a good match and left it at that. I don't block someone unless the cuddler has blocked me or is not nice to me.
It’s easy for me to forget who’s who, especially when there are so many people here that I’ve never met in real life, and this is compounded by the fact that a lot of people don’t have pictures of themselves— not that I’m saying that’s a bad thing, necessarily. I am guilty (?) of repeatedly looking at people's profiles to remind myself who they are. This has nothing to do with stalking; it’s just a product of forgetfulness.
I usually look at the profile of anyone who posts something I think is interesting in a forum discussion. I also sometimes look at a person‘s profile to see whether they’ve made any changes to it based on things they’ve said about changes they are making to their profile. I hope people aren’t blocking me because they think I’m stalking them when all I'm doing is looking at their profile.
I find it kind of disturbing to learn that there are people who block others just so they don’t show up on certain pages on the site, like the homepage that has pictures of professionals, latest, online, and nearby. If this is so commonplace I would think that for the moderators it would be like the boy who cried “Wolf!”, because I would think that when someone is blocked by a lot of people it should raise a red flag. But if there are a lot of men who block other men just because they’re not interested in cuddling them, to me that’s a sign of a conflict between user interface (UI) and user experience UX). It’s what happens when a user wants to do something the software won't allow them to do, so as a workaround to relieve their frustration, they do something the software does allow them to do that wasn't intended for that purpose. As has been suggested before, I think there should be a way for people to hide certain people's (or whole genders of people's) profiles in certain places. I think "Block" should be "Block…" and there should be a dropdown list of reasons. If the reason is cause for alarm, there can be a prompt to block and report, as I've seen on other sites.
Again, I don't know how widespread this "blocking to hide" behavior is, but if it's just a workaround, I think the UI should allow users to do what they actually intend to do.
I think the thread highlights many reasonable differences in user experiences that may lead to blocking behavior regardless if blocking is a reasonable response or a work-around for other features that should exist.
I do think blocking probably does get used as a work-around to hide profiles, etc. (I don't use it this way, but I would very much like a hide people from search results button so as to limit how often I show up visiting when i forget. The anti-favorite).
1) I agree with CuddleWho that there is probably a huge difference in how the site is used between genders. My profile has been active since the beginning of the year, and it is pretty obvious that the only time anyone is visiting is as a result of me visiting their profile.
2) As highlighted in other threads, I think a combination of male to female cuddlers, means that women are probably already handling as much contact (or overloaded as some threads suggest) that mean they are likely (and this is just a gut suspicion) to be passive/re-active.
3) I flip between mobile and desktop user experience...and when using mobile and scrolling it is really easy to inadvertently click on a profile.
4) Likely many guys, When I first started I was expecting to meet an enthusiast. With an Enthusiast, I may take a shot and reach out. Not uncommon to see they visit and don't respond. This to me is where the hide from results would be useful, cause I have no desire to block them if they choose to reach out later, but would be nice to remove them from the results. i wouldn't reach out to a pro unless in the process of booking a session, so there is more deliberation on all sorts of factors from distance, etc. Realistically I'm in the 50-90 mile driving range for a cuddle from pro or enthusiast and if I'm going to drive and consider booking a room, etc. I'm also considering all kinds of external factors from the person themselves, like what else would like like to consider doing in the area, etc. that may lead to multiple page visits over time as I consider all these things.
5) My search params are constantly changing, considering pros vs not...distance, and even found some other preferences were too restrictive due to people not filling out some areas of their profile. some catchy names or static profile pics are memorable....but when every other profile handle is cuddle-blah, it all runs together eventually and you just forget.
6) Many photos in search results crop in such a way that someone isn't immediately identifiable until you click on their profile and many people change up their primary photo to keep it fresh...so you forget or don't know until you click that is someone you have visited before.
And finally, reading other threads have prompted me to reverse my searches to better understand how many male profiles there were in my area vs female and what the ratio looked liked as well as curious about how common male pros were from other discussion threads I've read.
Really long winded way of saying user's experiences vary in a way that is not nefarious or stalking, but may not align with someone else's experience due to a myriad of factors that differ.
When I am trying to decide if I want to cuddle with someone, I will revisit their profile to see if they have any new karma. Sometimes the reviews help with my decision to cuddle with them or not.
How do you know if someone blocked you?
I started blocking more lately. A couple of potential clients don't know what they want so setting up bookings then cancelling them a few minutes later to setting it up again a few minutes later to do the cycle again just doesn't work after the second time for me anymore. I click block then. All the information they ask about is already on my profile or in the rules so discussing it over and over again just gets old. Talking to the serious potential clients helps not waste time.
@cuddles_ndream @plushdoll Oh no that's concerning for me because I'm new so when I first looked at the site I favorited people in my area. But I'm just generally anxious so I have been viewing profiles numerous times. It's only because I haven't done this before so I'm just nervously trying to decide who to reach out to first. It didn't occur to me how creepy it would come off.
@Unique7 you only find out if you visit their profile and Cuddles Comfort tells you that user has blocked you.
@ChangeApproved as far as I’m concerned, profiles were meant to be looked at, and it’s understandable if you have to look at one repeatedly. If someone is going to judge you as creepy for that, that’s on them. Each user can see the most recent people who have visited their profile, but at least they don’t see how many times they ’ve visited.
Some people have commented that they block people who visit them "too many times".
I find that odd.
I mean I've had the same person visit mine at least once every two weeks since I joined, but we've never exchanged messages. I have this long running list of theories around him and it keeps expanding... Like maybe it's just too much to read in one sitting and he forgets where he left off? Or maybe there are others in his searches and he's not able to distinguish us from each other? Or he's waiting for me to write him first? Or maybe he's intrigued but I make him nervous somehow? Or he's...?
Also, I know I've been blocked and it's kind of a bummer because they never say why. There's one I'm thinking of that has commented back and forth with me, within the forum, but one day [recently] I wanted to send a personal message and found I was blocked. 🤷♀️ Whelp. Okay then... Back to the forum I go... 👩💻
[addition] Never mind. I went through old messages and found our exchanges. Pretty sure I was blocked due to how pendulous and opinionated I was being in the forums shortly after our last exchange (which was just before putting myself in a sort of time-out from here... sigh...). I'm not at all happy to have to own that, but it's likely the case.
Being blocked unexpectedly for the first time (fortunately, not after a first dialog or meeting, therefore this didn't hurt me too much) : same reasons as experienced by @nurturingman : member not into cuddling men or disliking a few too many visits (I don't remember all people or, sometimes, I visit profiles when unable to meet people living so far away, or through the posts in the forums) Being a hyper-sensitive person, I would speak in favor to alternative additional technical features for mitigating such blocking cases (whereas I usually speak against excessive blocking) :
There's a "professional" who travels a lot and was supposed to be in St. Louis earlier this year. A pro here booked a double cuddle with me and the "professional." The "professional' had to cancel their trip, which is no big deal, it happens. I would often check the profile of the "professional" to see if she was planning on touring to the St. Louis area, as I was still interested in seeing her. She blocked me. That's cool. My money can be spent elsewhere, and probably for a much better experience.
I’ve been blocked a couple of times for reasons I do not know.
Although the most recent time, upon speaking with the Pro about booking a session, she asked if I was vaccinated. When I replied “yes” she immediately blocked me afterwards lol.
Still scratching my head about that one.
Blocking to remove people from the visitors' queue has always been an issue. I'm not a programmer so my suggesting a little x on the visitor's box in the queue might just be money pouring out of my mouth. Seems simple to me but for some reason they've never done it.
@MattsWeather - that seems very strange. Sorry that happened to you.
I am very active on the forums. That being said, many people view my profile, and I also view many people's profiles (especially if I like their comments). I've found that I've been randomly blocked by a few people when I have never even exchanged messages with them, nor spoken with them on the forums, LOL. While Idk why they have blocked me, I don't really care. There are plenty of people who haven't blocked me, so I'm good. 😊
Here is a sample note I have typed up to try and keep this from happening in the future.
Dear _____________
Thank you for reaching out. It means a lot to me and other seniors when someone takes the initiative.
I only cuddle with enthusiasts. So to keep me from inadvertently clicking on your page again, I am going to put a temporary block on your page. I am doing this for 3 reasons.
1) So we are not in each other's visitor's queue since we probably will never cuddle.
2) Cuddle Comfort has no way of deleting profiles from the visitor's queue aside from blocking.
3) In the future when I click on your profile it will alert me that we had this exchange.
Also, I would appreciate it if you would not block me back. That way, in a few months, when I empty my blocked list, if I decide to cuddle pros you will become accessible. I am very good at not clicking on profiles that have been blocked for a couple of months. I then start to remember.
I am going to wait a couple of days before I put the block on in case you want to respond.
Thanks _____________
Edited for content. -reurbo
I have been randomly blocked by a regular enthusiast cuddler once, a new member, after sending the first message, and then in another time, after another enthusiast cuddler replied my first message, she blocked me. I mean; I think some people here may be racist. Maybe some check and think “Yikes, he is a Hispanic/Arab. He is probably or most likely dangerous. Better safe than sorry. I am pressing the block button.”, or they might perceive it as something unwanted or maybe even some sort of harassment. Speaking of which, I don’t know if some will even go as far as reporting someone of harassment or sexual harassment just for sending a message, and if that happens, hopefully moderators don’t just assume automatically that it is that way.
Another thing, even though this is off topic, is that some people here become inactive pretty fast. And even though there are a handful of active cuddlers nearby, whether new or someone who has been here for a while, more often than not, they will not respond to the message. Maybe people who have been members for a while have their own circle of people they cuddle with and don’t want to cuddle new people or go around meeting new people, as they might think that their circle will be disrupted or that they would have to add more people into their circle of cuddlers.
@CallMeMikey Oh yes that would be me. I use block as a way to filter myself out of searches for your convenience, it wasn't a personal issue.
I have cancelled all plans to travel to the St. Louis area due to several traveling pros having numerous uncomfortable experiences with clients they encountered in that area. Don't worry this "professional" would prefer you use that money towards someone else for a "better experience". 🤫😉