Cuddling with intention, like a meditative ceremony/ritual

MCcuddles2MCcuddles2
edited June 2021 in General

Hey fellow cuddlers,

I wanted to share my approach to cuddling.

I've been into meditation and spirituality for a long time and I like my cuddles to be intentional meditative experiences.

I usually start the session with sitting on the floor, facing the other person and doing a few minutes of breathing exercises, followed by setting an intention for the session. The intention is usually for the session to be nourishing and for our energies to be connected for the time and space we are sharing. Usually we might place our hands on each other's heart while setting the intention.

Then, during the session, I have incense burning and calm and soulful music playing. During the cuddling, there is a lot of stillness and some focus on meditative breathing. There is a focus on being fully present. It's also dynamic and playful; we respond to each other energies and move and flow with it, often in silence. There is something magical about two people being completely present in each other's company, physically, mentally and energetically, for a moment in time that they are sharing together.

At the end of the session, we will have closing ritual, where we sit in front of each other again and breathe together with our eyes closed. I then thank them for the time shared, and we end the session feeling connected and nourished.

My approach is informed by years of meditative practice, time spent in circling communities and conscious communities, and by time I've spent in ceremonies with indigenous tribes in the Peruvian rainforest. Two human spending time together can be a connected, nourishing, therapeutic and even a spiritual or "holy" (for a lack of a better word) experience.

Cuddling with intention can really facilitate that experience. The people I've done this with seem to really enjoy it.

Comments

  • pmvinespmvines

    I would probably not feel comfortable adding so much formality to something that I feel is best when spontaneous and fluid but whatever works for you and your cuddle pal

  • [Deleted User]Mmart (deleted user)

    Sounds too clinical for me but if it is enjoyable for the participants then great.

    JUST BE KIND

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    No, this wouldn't be my thing. I prefer a cuddling session to be more of an organic experience.

  • cuddleYouMecuddleYouMe

    seems too formal to me, just sitting or laying side by side and chatting feels more organic and natural

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @MCcuddles2 I saw your post before you deleted it, and I'm really sorry that you felt the need to remove it. It was a perfectly good post.

    It so happens that the people who have posted so far don't share your style of cuddling. But you did ask, and I feel it was only a matter of time before somebody would respond positively.

    None of the previous posters have a problem with you or your cuddling. In fact they were sufficiently interested to reply.

    It's too late to edit your post again, so, when you are ready, it would be nice if you could repost in this thread the things you said.

  • [Deleted User]istj1981cuddler (deleted user)

    I echo @CuddleDuncan. This is my first time interacting on a thread, bit I read it before editing, that I'm sorry you felt the need to retract it. I don't know that it would be my style either, but as someone who previously didn't think much of meditation until just a few years ago, I definitely get that it maybe a really foreign concept to anyone that doesn't have experience with it.

    I like new experiences and would be open to it even if I opted that it wasn't something I wanted on the regular.

    Also as someone that can be a bit unsure about where to start with someone new I applaud that you have the option for a defined starting place.

    And my final thoughts, you obviously are very passionate about what meditation and the like has done for you and I can fully see it likely that when you are getting to know your new buddy prior to the initial visit those things in your personality shine through and likely what makes you a good fit if you make it to a session. When someone is passionate about something and that shines through I become curious and interested because it hit a chord with them even if it wasn't a pre-shared,and in my opinion is kind of what the whole connecting with others is about.

  • UCpaaHVg6u0UCpaaHVg6u0
    edited June 2021

    👍

  • pmvinespmvines

    Cant please everyone. Post what you feel is important or pertinent to you. 2 out of 10 people might find it interesting or useful. Dont post simply for people to agree with you .

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    There’s a local pro in the area that offers a meditation , it doesn’t take long if you want to .She’s one of the best in the DC area

  • MCcuddles2MCcuddles2

    Appreciate the positive replies. I reposted it. I'd removed it because I felt it may be too out there for some people.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited June 2021

    I had major surgery five years ago and prior to surgery a staff psychiatrist comes in to consult because so many people suffer mental struggles post surgery with the type of surgery I had because it is a catastrophic procedure that changes your life. She recommended counseling and “lifestyle” therapy. I didn’t do the the counseling but I did the lifestyle therapy. One of the things they cover post surgery in lifestyle therapy is meditation combined with breathing techniques. I still use it to this day. Meditation recenters you and lowers your blood pressure.

  • bekah_cuddlesbekah_cuddles

    If it's beneficial for the client, I'd absolutely be up for this kind of session. 🙂

  • CallMeMikeyCallMeMikey

    I've spent time with cuddlers who, like me, just go with the flow, and I've spent time with cuddlers who are more like what you've described. Either way I learn so much about them and their personality. Synchronized breathing, check out my aura, tell me more about myself than I even know. When I'm looking for a cuddle buddy I look at the eyes and the smile. I look for what I call a combination of compassion and mischief. It's hard to describe but I know it when I see it, and about 99% of the time we have a great experience together. The 1% when my hunch fails me is no big deal.

  • [Deleted User]Chris55555 (deleted user)

    I think if I knew coming in what your style was that I would love to learn this approach. I’m sure I would take away something wonderful that I can then share with my other cuddle buddies. Thanks for sharing.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @MCcuddles2 hooray! It's definitely not too 'out there'. You were just statistically unlucky in the first few responses.

  • UCpaaHVg6u0UCpaaHVg6u0

    @MCcuddles2 I would definitely want to do this. It fits in with what I've been working on. Thank you for reposting it.

  • sillysassysillysassy

    @FunCartel I would meditate with YOU!!!!! 😊😊😊 well maybe…. You’re completely distracting.
    @CallMeMikey compassion and MISCHIEF!! YES!!!!

    That reminds me of this alternative sort of group meetup thing.... I will not derail but I love their energy and mischief is one of their things. This is a morning Yoga, dance, mindfulness, non-alcoholic, theme party type club fun without the icky stuff. https://www.daybreaker.com/

    @MCcuddles2 I applaud you for posting something so personal and obviously important to you. I see we joined about the same time and it kind of freaked me out the first time I posted in a thread let alone created one. Good job you! Like @pmvines said.... If you want to post something that everyone will agree with, you probably ought to be on a different forum. Glancing through all the forum conversations you will quickly see that NO-ONE agrees with everything.

    I do want to say that I think it is a lovely thing you have figured out and it will certainly attract people who align with your ideology, which is a beautiful thing. It is also a fantastic opportunity to share something with people who may be a little nervous or fearful and like some of your Karma said, its a great starting point. Setting intentions is EXTREMELY important to me and I really appreciate your awareness of being present and completely immersed in the moment. PLENTY of people love to have the structure and specificity of a pre-defined cuddle sesh because it eases the anxiety.

    I think I find myself somewhere in between a PLAN for all of the moments and sort of a rough outline. I like certain things within the space of the snuggle but I DEFINITELY leave room for being aware of the fact that being present also means being flexible to change based on what my instinct is telling me at exactly that moment. Which is sometimes problematic if you have a predetermined idea of what NEEDS to happen.

    I am so thankful for all the input that mentioned talking to your partner about THEIR desires/intentions in this meeting because I think that is HUGE in what connects us as individuals in this joint venture. You don’t know what they would/wouldn’t like in a get together unless you ask. i.e. if we were going to have a snuggle I might ask for some other smell than incense. While I appreciate the idea of incense and the benefits it brings in clearing negative energy and connecting, focusing etc. I find that it is so powerful a scent for people that it can become distracting, hence defeating its purpose. The MOST beautiful thing I see from this point is you have figured out what works for YOU!!! That is the biggest hurdle. Now you can invite people who share your passions or want to try something that they haven't before.

    NOW...... WHO'S UP FOR AN INTENTIONAL SNUGGLE for goodness sakes????

  • pmvinespmvines

    @MCcuddles2 you are correct , it is too far out there for many people, including myself. However you shouldn't base your posts on that . The handful of people who are like minded will get something from it and those who maybe aren't into it but are interested in hearing about others experiences will get something from it. Some people post for self indulgence or to gain approval so they can pat themselves on the back for how impressive they are in their use of vocabulary. Dont be one of those people.

  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited June 2021

    I love your approach, @MCcuddles2 ! In response to what some others said about how they prefer to go with the flow, I believe you described the session as going with the flow. What I heard you say in terms of structure was how you start and end the session.

    I was kind of surprised to see that some people thought your approach was too clinical. I guess that shows my bias, because I see cuddling as a therapeutic clinical practice – probably because I’m on my journey to becoming a professional cuddler, and I believe in cuddling as a therapeutic modality.

    I can certainly see the benefits of a cuddling session being more like — pardon my language — a makeout session minus the kissing and heavy petting. I can imagine some readers gasping at what I just wrote, but I’m merely reflecting what I’ve seen in so many of the enthusiast and professional profiles I’ve read on this site. There is definitely an element of physical attraction and chemistry involved in cuddling for many (maybe even most?) people. I think that’s why a lot of the pros post photos of themselves looking as physically attractive as possible, and I believe that’s why most people here prefer to cuddle with people of the gender they are romantically attracted to. I also believe that’s why so many pros offer what sounds like a date with the understanding that no kissing or sex will be involved. Again, not judging!

    I think this variation in approaches to cuddling is all very natural and understandable. I also acknowledge there are many variations beyond the dichotomy of cuddling as clinical therapy or cuddling as platonic fun. I believe non-sexual, platonic cuddling is many things to many people, and it’s all good!

    P.S. Maybe the word minus implies a “loss” I don’t intend to convey. Perhaps I should say “free of.”

  • cuddleYouMecuddleYouMe
    edited June 2021

    @pmvines agreed, the forums are for discussions after all. As long as it isn't inappropriate, it's just a different style, I prefer candid opinions over just preaching to the choir. On that token, if you want people's honest feedback, you have to be ok with them disagreeing with you (cough cough covid vaccine forum and the crypto poll options cough)

    it's like how some chefs always want you to try their food, and...as a picky eater, I'm not a fan. I don't like pie or fruit filled pastries. I try to politely decline if people try to get me to taste food I'm 95% sure I won't like to avoid it, but then I'm hesitant to be honest cause I don't want to hurt their feelings.

    At the same time though, if you can't accept a no or negative feedback, then it makes the positive feedback less meaningful. Are they saying something nice or agreeing because they actually mean it, or only bc they can't say otherwise without it becoming a big deal?

    That said it takes awhile to not worry so much about what other people think. I have a handful of friends I've known who are brutally honest. It's not as nice at times since they don't cushion/weigh their words before saying them, but I also appreciate the honesty and feel like I can trust what they say more. A different style, especially if you've grown up to be very polite or to always filter your words. But the reality is you can't please everyone, and you'll unnecessarily wear yourself out and run around in circles if you try.

    I ultimately prefer honesty, it's better to be liked for who you are than for something you're not. Though communicating well, in general, is a struggle for a lot of people. I think a big step we can all aim to get to is first, learning how to speak honestly and clearly so you can convey what you mean, and second, learning how to process and discuss disagreements in a peaceful way. Learning for oneself, how to see other people's viewpoints and be openminded. If you find out you're wrong, being humble and changing your opinion, as you can't expect others to do so if you yourself are unwilling. At the end of the day, you can't force anyone to change their minds though, so being able to still accept and love people even if you disagree on some points is the ideal. If it's important enough, can keep trying to change their mind, but ultimately they need to decide that. Usually disagreements devolve into personal attacks or anger, which doesn't help per thinking things through in a rational way nor keeping things friendly.

    I like to write a lot lol, but I think this is an important life lesson in general

    Per the meditation thing, here's some more honest feedback: I could see girls seeing it as being weird if you ask to place a hand over their heart. Especially if you're cuddling with a stranger, as girls are hyper aware and ever looking out for people who are just wanting to actually have sex, push boundaries, and not be platonic.

    Aside from that, if someone wants to try the meditative thing, then give it a go. I think a lot of people here are more casual about it, and even more on the shy/hypercautious side (judging by how often people say it's hard to find cuddles, and ppl aren't responding, etc). If people here were all confident, responsive to messages, and eager to cuddle, then I think the experimental stuff would make more sense (and people would be more apt to try it), but, you're always welcome to try new things. If you look at my profile, I'm advertising some non-standard stuff as well. I say give it a try, if it works cool, if not go back to the drawing board.

  • MCcuddles2MCcuddles2
    edited June 2021

    I appreciate all the feedback, positive or not! Also like the discussion that has generated.

    As I noted above, I have experience with ceremonies with indigenous American tribes. Some of the most connection I've felt with other human beings is in these ancient, ritualistic settings. My personal feeling is that things like that are something sacred that have been lost in the modern world.

    That feeling of connection is one of my favorite things in the world, and I've found that I can recreate that feeling of connectiveness through intentional cuddles. I'm really happy to have a platform like this site to share the idea and allow people to share this experience with me.

  • Melomaniac9Melomaniac9

    I would try this! It’s right up my alley. Maybe we could meet when I’m in Houston next. I have done a lot of guided meditation, Buddha breathing, Art of living & sound wave ascension. I would love to know more🙏🏼

  • MrPaulMrPaul

    @MCcuddles2
    As others have said, your form of cuddling will not appeal to everyone. People are different in their likes and dislikes. So, my recommendation is to practice informed consent. Simply discuss your plan with your cuddle partner and get their approval before proceeding.

  • NamastarNamastar

    This is my first foray into forum posting! @MCcuddles2 thank you for sharing your approach to cuddle sessions! Your scenario actually looks like the cuddle sessions I have fantasized about. Sharing space is sacred to me. I am new to this scene, so I'm still figuring out how to go about it all. But I sure hope to have cuddles that are as intentional as you describe. If you are ever in Minnesota, or if I'm ever near Houston, I would be overjoyed to share an experience with you!

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