How do you prepare for a cuddle session?

Cuddle_Bear_282Cuddle_Bear_282
in General

I can see how basic good grooming is the foundation, but from there do you collaborate with your cuddle partner to try to where a scent pleasant to them or just avoid those things all together? Also, what about any type of meditation activities to prepare yourself mentally and physically?

Comments

  • UCpaaHVg6u0UCpaaHVg6u0

    One should avoid scents unless they specifically know the partner is informed and okay with it. A significant portion of the population is sensitive. Scents activate body chemistry, so there's inherently something intrusive about it.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited August 2021

    Be on time, scrupulously clean, fully prepared (e.g. payment, blanket if you're cuddling in the park, etc) and ready to be friendly. Everything else is up to you.

    It's quite common to start cuddle sessions, particularly with new people, with breathing exercises. Doing something relaxing beforehand if you can is obviously a good idea in most circumstances.

    The scent picture you are trying to create is 'clean human'. Wearing cologne or perfume is actively rude. Most shampoo and deodorant has more than enough smell in it already.

    You may find this thread helpful:

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/11489/how-i-found-happiness-on-cc-part-2-the-first-meeting#top

  • Cuddle_Bear_282Cuddle_Bear_282

    Sounds like great advice. thx guys!

  • mtpmtp

    I'll second the suggestion of breathing exercises with your partner at the start. I like sitting across from each other and holding hands while doing this.

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    To what's been stated, I'd add good dental and mental hygiene. Toothbrushing and a breath mint are good, no garlic or limburger cheese for at least a day before.

    As for mental hygiene, I like to bring positive energy to the meeting. Since I usually schedule my sessions more than a week in advance, it's easy for me to build a sense of anticipation for the time, especially with my regular provider.

    That positive energy tends to get magnified throughout the session.

  • Mela_BMela_B

    I agree with everything stated here above, especially, I ask if people are ok with any scent. I prepare my space, make sure it's temperature appropriate, clean, lights on, etc.

    I also take a small nap before a session, so that I'm not tired, and can be attentive with the person I'm cuddling.

  • YourEmbraceMelYourEmbraceMel

    Yep!

    Personal and dental hygiene
    Cuddle clothes
    Prepare my space
    Put on my cuddle playlist
    Have water jug, tissues, cuddle books out.

    Discussion with client beforehand including our honesty promise to each other, boundaries, consent, no exercise, etc, set timer.

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    I also want to add that the most important part of preparing for a session if we are talking about someone new is safety. I highly recommend a video chat or a phone call and a list of questions handy to make sure that you are both on the same page. The second part of safety is having a safety person whether it’s a friend, partner or family member. Let them know where you are who you’re with and when you expect to be done. I always reach out to my safety person and say when I’m done so they know I’m safe and if I don’t reach out the police will be called. This is my typical safety person text:

    The clients name
    The clients phone number
    Address
    Length of session

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @xandriarain Are you getting real information (I hope, like any clinician) not just calling 911 on ccrando321 if anything bad should happen?

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited August 2021

    Here are mine, besides the basics you mentioned. I may not be perfect in all of this. Though I try to meticulously run this checklist:

    Especially now that I am more experienced, I find ways to help ensure we are on the same page. Either they mention that themsleves or I ask questions to help with this.

    Usually a day or two before meeting I ask if they have any allergies to scents, so I can try to accommodate. If no allergies, I go with whatever I feel including limiting or not wearing any scented products. Also, when possible, I wear clothing that's pleasant to touch.

    Choose beforehand a location that's okay for both of us and from that a spot I think would be best to possibly cuddle. So not in the midst of everyone, though not secluded either.

    Usually I'd meet somewhere well populated first. Once we get to the agreed upon location, I prefer to be distanced and converse in person to get more acquainted. Depending on how well we are connecting, our comfort level and expressed interest, we may or may not cuddle the same day.

    I meditate at times in my day to day life. Though haven't felt the need to cause of an up coming meeting. I *usually get anxious the last moments before or during the meeting. Though it's manageable.

    A brief video and audio call prior to meeting. Also tend to have a person or two I trust know things like where and what I am up to. :)

  • timetocuddle07timetocuddle07

    Wash, brush teeth, mouth wash. Go to ATM, make sure my youtube selection is fine

  • [Deleted User]Chris55555 (deleted user)

    I want to express another opinion. I do not enjoy staring into the eyes of a stranger at the beginning of a cuddle. I don’t want to hold a stare and breathe together. That is odd and uncomfortable to me. I enjoy a normal amount of eye contact. I am an enthusiast, not a pro.

    I start my first cuddles with a short walk and we chat. We both gauge comfort and then we go straight to where we will cuddle and usually get into half spoon and talk from there.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Suit up , apply my war paint , and smack myself in the chest and head while bellowing a monstrous, yet refined howl that lets the world know that I'm here , and I'm a blessing!

  • SunnyDSunnyD

    Haha pmvines! I love it, your answer the best! =)

  • pmvinespmvines

    @SunnyD just fair warning so you know what to expect if we cross paths .....

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @MaineCuddle I have a first name, address, and a phone number (which could be a google number, google numbers piss me off)

  • NicoSnuggsNicoSnuggs

    Oh snap @pmvines, it’s a shame that you don’t cuddle men too, because I could learn a lot from your war-paint-applying, chest-and-head-smacking, monstrous-bellowing ways.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited August 2021

    @NicoSnuggs just think of that guy from the iwhite house insurrection, the one with the beard and furry viking hat and painted face , but with a gut ! Oh yeah !

  • NicoSnuggsNicoSnuggs

    @pmvines - Haha! 😂 How could I ever forget that guy?

    But I never thought about cuddles like that until today, so thanks.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @pmvines

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Wait! I forgot the MOST IMPORTANT ONE!!

    Go to the bathroom, whether you need to or not.

  • Mela_BMela_B

    @pmvines we need pictorial evidence of the war paint.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24
    edited August 2021

    stop at the store on the way home from work and get snacks and flowers .

  • Cuddle_RNCuddle_RN

    @xandriarain I ask for a picture of their driver's license, to be forwarded to my friend, before I will meet them in a non public place. And that only happens after we've met at least once at a movie theater and cuddled, and that happens after exchanging messages here.

    The DL tip is from my best friend, a former sex worker. I put it into practice after the first few times I went to a secondary location. I've had no objections from any man who has made it through my filtering process - in fact, I've been encouraged to do whatever I need to do to ensure my safety.

    For any woman here - if he gets mad at this request, refuses to verify his identity, or in any way sets off that little internal voice that says WARNING, block and move on. Never ignore your instincts, we have them for a reason.

  • mtpmtp

    I'm going to again express some hesitation about sharing a copy of my driver's license with a stranger, specifically the ID# part.
    https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/what-should-i-do-if-my-drivers-license-number-is-stolen/

    @Cuddle_RN Are there any alternatives that would meet your needs without also creating that risk? Would a copy of the driver's license with the ID# censored be sufficient? Is there a public authority (police, etc.) that could hold an uncensored copy of the driver's license instead of your friend?

  • SassyjoSassyjo

    @pmvines You made me laugh out loud! Love your response!

  • Cuddle_RNCuddle_RN

    @mtp, yes, a picture of the driver's license with the number covered is fine. The point is to verify the person is who they say they are and lives where they've said they live.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    This is an interesting juxtaposition:

    @Cuddle_RN wrote:

    For any woman here - if he gets mad at this request, refuses to verify his identity or in any way sets off that little internal voice that says WARNING, block and move on.

    and @mtp replied (yes I know it's a forum post, but if we pretend for a moment they were talking to each other about a session

    I'm going to again express some hesitation about sharing a copy of my driver's license with a stranger, specifically the ID# part.

    The point is that mtp's reply is that of a reasonable person. It's the kind of thing I would say, and so would many others. It's the getting angry or aggressive that the's warning sign, not the being hesitant about agreeing to the request.

  • Cuddle_RNCuddle_RN

    @CuddleDuncan, right as usual :)

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