Is it me or is there just not very many people on here?

samfiddlesamfiddle
in General

Idk i havent been having any luck. Do people really use this site to find cuddle buddies or is it mostly just for professionals? Tbh i know its probably me, but this really isnt an invite for people to go through my profile and point out every undesirable trait I have. Im just curious if yall have been having success out there.

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Comments

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    I'm a people and successes have been had!!!

    Hang in there... 💓

  • Sweetheart11Sweetheart11

    I'm new and a people too lol. Read that location plays a big part too (like how lyft is great in some areas and sucks in other areas).
    Hopefully you find someone soon :)

  • [Deleted User]Saysoh (deleted user)

    I'm a people as well. Not a cuddler and still haven't dipped in to the side of hiring a cuddler, but I've met some interesting people I like having conversations with.

    Even though this site is a conduit of sorts, it's much more than that meaning everyone here is open to actually communicating even if you don't have hiring them in mind.

    It's all chill-chill here.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I have cuddled enthusiasts and pros alike. It can happen. A better question would have been how does it happen. That is a more complex question.

  • pmvinespmvines

    There are quite a few

  • samfiddlesamfiddle
    edited August 2021

    Idk. I tried making a few friends/starting conversations but noone ever messages me back. I was going to give in and pay a cuddler but I got hit with such a bad wave of depression in not gonna work any more than i have to rn, my work is hard and dangerous. Trying not to be too bummed out about having to hire a professional, its like admitting to myself that being around me is labour? i mean it is hahaha I know but still. Idk tbh my self esteem is definitely worse having joined this site, at this point logging in kinda just feels like self harm.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @samfiddle don’t take this the wrong way, but while cuddling is wonderful, if you are that depressed perhaps it might be better if you find a mental health professional.

  • samfiddlesamfiddle

    Unhelpful comment funcartel, depressed people need closeness too, thanks!

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @samfiddle I didn’t say they didn’t. I was only trying to help.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    If you’re not broke just hire a pro. Really, just do it. It’s not like you think it is. It is every bit as possible to make a real human connection with a pro as it is with a non-pro… the only difference is that the pro is about 200x as likely to message you back and agree to cuddle as the non-pro.

    Obviously I can’t guarantee you’ll have a great experience, but it is very possible to.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @CuddleWho 👍👍👍

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @FunCartel mental health professionals are not mutually exclusive from cuddling you can cuddle and see a therapist.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @xandriarain That is stating the obvious, but when someone mentions self-harm I think that person needs to get some professional help pretty quick.

  • Big_ChrisBig_Chris

    I'm in a fairly large population area and I've also had difficulty. This is normal according to most accounts, and you just need to persevere. Sometimes I find it difficult to put myself out there and get nothing back, but its not the profile, it's numbers.

    Don't feel pressure to go to a pro, they do have their beniefits but it is a transactional agreement. It's nice to have a connection but I feel the same way you do. I don't want that connection to be one-sided.

    Keep trying, it's a numbers game and the odds are against you but your people is out there. Good luck

  • JaySinghJaySingh

    The depression talk aside, I’ve had wonderful experiences with pros and quite a few them respond and respond quickly. I agree that meaningful connections can be had as well.

    I’ve had almost no luck at all with the non pros, and almost none of them respond. Sure do hope you feel better!

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho
    edited August 2021

    To elaborate, here's the mental model that I use to avoid thinking that "being around me is labour" when seeing a pro cuddler:

    (the following is obviously a huge generalization)

    Women screen very hard up front, in a way that men can't relate to. Women have enormous numbers of options and they filter people out based on very little information. It's really hard for men to get past that initial filter. I know for a fact, based on lots of experience, that I am extremely good at connecting with women once I'm past the initial filter.

    When I don't get past that initial filter, I don't think it has anything to do with me. She doesn't even know anything about me. She doesn't know what my voice sounds like, she doesn't know how I speak, how I carry myself, how I treat people, or basically anything. She is deciding not to message back based on pretty much zero knowledge about me. Which on the one hand is absolutely absurd, but on the other hand, if you had a huge pile of messages in your inbox what would you do?

    When I pay for a cuddle, what I'm paying for is the ability to (mostly) bypass that initial filter. She's going to decide whether she likes me based on spending a couple hours with me in person, rather than based on a worthless internet profile and message.

  • [Deleted User]Zaxsis (deleted user)

    I prefer the professional because most of them know what they are doing and they are good at what they do. I am in a season of being single at this point in my senior years. I have no desire to be in a relationship. Cuddling sessions fill in for the need of intimacy and connectivity with a woman without the drama of a relationship.

  • NicoSnuggsNicoSnuggs

    Great points @CuddleWho. I find this to be true as well, and a good model to observe and learn from.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited August 2021

    @CuddleWho While it is a huge generalization, I think there is a lot of truth in your analysis. The only thing I would disagree with is your assertion men can’t relate to it. While we may not be able to say we understand it because we generally do not live it, we can empathize with it. The safety concerns, the endless requests and time constraints all factor in. These are only a few of the reasons there is a filter that makes decisions with very little information. It is not fair, but they are trusting their gut and I would never discourage that. But that filter is definitely there, and pros are not the devil incarnate.

  • xandriarainxandriarain
    edited August 2021

    @FunCartel I did not see the above post.

    @samfiddle there are far more male enthusiasts then there are female enthusiasts so female enthusiasts probably only cuddle a small number of men on this site. Compared to a dating site your odds of finding a female enthusiast is much lower than finding a date. Chances are most female enthusiasts get more requests than they have time for and it has nothing to do with you as an individual. Also hiring a professional is no more shameful than seeing a talk or massage therapist. Many people don’t have access to touch in their lives and they want to be nurtured of without any strings attached or drama. Most professionals myself included really enjoy cuddling with their clients, the reason we charge money is so we can help more people and earn a living it’s not because cuddling you is hard labor, its a service that we enjoy doing.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup
    edited August 2021

    @samfiddle Many guys who want to cuddle a woman are in the same boat, if your messages are respectful and show some level of interest (one liners are probably not going to stand out), don’t take it personally. If you do it will affect your self esteem. Its hard but just shrug it off.

    Someone mentioned something about women generally having a very hard initial filter that most messages don’t get through, so its not just you but most of the guy’s messages getting ignored (I’m usually one of them too).

    There are some male cuddlers that do regularly cuddle with female enthusiasts. that is still a bit of a mystery how that can be, but it shows that it is technically possible. @CuddleDuncan shared his journey with us, for example. Your journey might look a bit different but i think he made a great post to get some insight.

    Do reach out to a professional if you are feeling touch deprived though! Some
    Human connection can do you good regardless of paying for it or not.

  • Hi_Im_TimHi_Im_Tim

    @xandriarain . You are as intelligent as you are beautiful. This is a wonderful service. Hope everyone is nice to you.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    I thought that this video was somewhat relevant https://youtube.com/watch?v=3LopI4YeC4I

  • BabichevBabichev
    edited August 2021

    I put in a search for Portland, OR, looking for anyone who cuddles men within a 50 mile radius, age range 20 - 100, and came up with 61. That did not include professionals.

    My area: 41 who cuddle men, 164 who cuddle women.

    You’ve got 50% more options than if you lived here.

    Too bad you have such negative ideas about cuddling a pro. We hire people to cook our food, watch our kids, and massage us without thinking there’s something demeaning about it. Not only are you likely to get what you want, but it may be a better experience since they are accustomed to cuddling strangers.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup
    edited August 2021

    @Babichev

    When I search Portland OR for women who cuddle men in a 50 mile radius, and limit it to last online within a week (active users), I came up with 7 users.

    When I did the same search for men who cuddle women, I get 50 user, that 50 to 7 ratio is a part of the difficulty (ratio isn't everything there are many reasons why someone will not get a response, but it does make it harder). And many men only seem willing to cuddle with women which also makes it harder. Based on the forum responses, a percentage of the male users on here are flat out disrespectful, so that cuts down the ratio some. Also, some people luckily like to have many cuddle buddies, so the ratio imbalance doesn't mean it's impossible.

  • BabichevBabichev
    edited August 2021

    I would say limiting it to someone who has been online within the last week is a pretty significant restriction. I’m pretty active here and at times I haven’t checked in for a month or so.

    There’s at least one active forum person who is in Portland.

    What kind of age restrictions are you putting in? [Edit: I did a search with 20 - 100 and came up with the same number, so never mind.]

    I did a search in my area for the last week and came up with 8 so not significantly different. I usually search within the last year because you never know.

    Bottom line: it’s not easy. You have to hang in there. It’s possible but not easy for most of us.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    I did a search 20 - 100 as well!

    Hmm, I didn't consider online within the last week to be a pretty significant restriction. Perhaps I'll try removing that filter and message a few people.

  • SSRequiescenceSSRequiescence

    I agree with @xandriarain

    @samfiddle please don’t give up on CC! I’m sure you’ll find your favorite pro in no time who has a wonderful embrace. If you were closer, It would be my pleasure to snuggle with you. I hope you find something that might work in the mean time!

    Hugs 🤗

  • Spud424Spud424

    I agree that it is tough finding enthusiasts owing to the gender imbalance. And I also understand that I am fortunate to both live in an area with many pro options and that I am financially able to afford to engage their services on a regular basis. Just hang with it…I am still very new to this brave new world of cuddling but I am looking forward to diving in and experience what this community has to offer. Your patience will be rewarded!

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    Area definitely plays a part!

    And I think taking expectations off the table would be very helpful in your perspective of the site. There are lots of connections to be made. Some may be close some may be far, but you never know when you'll travel or someone else will travel near you. Making those connections now is how you open up options for later. I wouldn't limit yourself to only local people. If immediate cuddles are what you want/need a pro is probably the way to go. But if you can have patience I'm sure you'll find plenty of people wanting to cuddle with you!

    Good luck and happy cuddles!

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