The key to mutual cuddles for men

timetocuddle07timetocuddle07
in General

As unemployment benefits have been cut off. As rates have increased here for some pros and I expect it to rise. Name some ways to get the elusive mutual or free cuddle up here. Granted really the enthusiast cuddle. Hopefully this thread doesn't get closed before it begins or folks become butt hurt over this.

I saw make profile stand out.
Don't go after the most drop dead gorgeous lady in town cuddling off here.
Think about a cuddler maybe more 2-3 hours away

Comments

  • MCcuddles2MCcuddles2

    It comes down to forming a connection, which takes time.

    The women you are contacting have to first like the vibe you are giving off, which leads into chatting over time, which may lead to a public meet for food or coffee.

    A few of these meets allow the person to feel comfortable with you, which can lead to cuddling.

    If this sounds like work, that's because it is. There are no free cuddles.

  • timetocuddle07timetocuddle07

    Well maybe driving to them paying gas. I beg to differ about the meet upper, food, coffee. I usually do phone or video chat for comfort level. If we doing food and all .I'm paying almost seems like a date. Dutch or maybe I pay one time, they next time. I just feel like some guys have to do things others don't. It's not right but life isn't fair by any stretch

  • MCcuddles2MCcuddles2
    edited September 2021

    Never said you had to pay. Dutch is fair.

    You might beg to differ, but time and effort is what it takes to allow another human (that is not being paid as a professional) to experience you and decide whether they'd like to cuddle you.

    That's just how it works.

    Also, as men our risk tolerance is generally higher. This can be evidenced by my baby nephew constantly wanting to do dangerous things like sliding down headfirst. 😁

    Also, men tend to be physically stronger so it's very risky for a woman to meet up and cuddle someone she doesn't have a good feel for.

  • timetocuddle07timetocuddle07

    That's fair to say

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    I know everyone here says looks don’t matter, blah blah blah … but be open to reaching out to profiles without pics … & when I say without pics I mean full profiles (not empty profiles) just that they don’t have pics … i genuinely love reading profiles & I connect many times simply with the words & thoughts of the cuddler … hopefully they respond to you just based on the profile alone & what gravitated you towards them… when the time comes when you guys decide to exchange pics / or video chat, & you seem put off or they for that matter (because yes there a ton you can pic up from visuals alone,) kindly decline or (I hate to say it) come up with a polite excuse or if you’re a straight shooter - say you don’t think you guys are a right fit for cuddling … this is the risk everyone takes for not sharing pics / having an old one or altering them) & just to be completely understood I’m not referring to looks personally , although it is a reality as a must for many on here & In the world simply.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesThePoet (deleted user)

    What does “work” is certainly debatable.

    My opinion is patience, respect, genuineness, humor, and kindness are always positives and attractive.

    It’s probably easier to talk about what doesn’t work.

    A sense of entitlement
    This comes in a lot of forms, but impatience, pushiness, rudeness, sullenness, behaving or speaking as if you are owed something, and dismissive attitudes all apply.

    Those things are not only a bad look, but they also indicate a man that doesn’t respect boundaries and is therefore potentially unsafe.

  • LovelightLovelight

    Other tips:

    Considering broadening one's filters such as prefered age range and sex could be an option. Maybe trying to cuddle with someone 10+ years out of your prefered age range, provided still of legal age of course. Or who isn't of your preferred sex. This will at the very least give you a different perspective or you'll find that you really gain value from it.

    If you only do guest, host, or public, you may consider expanding that.

    If you smoke, you can consider quiting or switch to something some people wouldn't have an issue with. Like switching to edibles.

    Try to also utilize other platforms such as Reddit to find someone. Making a good post in hopes of finding.

  • timetocuddle07timetocuddle07

    Say what does work probably can help many guys up here. Only time I see some forums here it is alot of woe is me why the lady didn't message me back complaints. When I see pros not happy tends to be he wanted to push boundaries, why this guy keep messaging me when we going to cuddle for this transaction can happen .
    We all need to be guided sometimes. Might be more positive forums here

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    Tbh I feel the newer someone is here to CC the more they will come off as pushy … I think vulnerability leads a lot of people here to begin with … maybe they are lonely / depressed / heart broken / fresh off a break-up / feeling down - the list goes on … typing a bunch of stuff on Google or whatever led them here (CC is not easy to find, it is not mainstream for good reason, the CC staff/ owners ect have the knowledge & resources to make this place very mainstream tomorrow if they wanted to but they choose not to, & it took me a very long time to understand why) … when people first come here they don’t really understand 100% (& this is not to say this is everyone) but I feel most. I remember being new here I think 80% of the females in a 10 mile radius got a message from me, (I wanted to connect with someone that bad) & no it wasn’t at the same time, if I saw that they didn’t respond I would go on to the next … than I realized many hadn’t logged on in a long time / than I realized I didn’t have a pic (of anything) & my profile empty …. Eventually I noticed the forums & although I tried to be silly more than anything, I realized the ways of here / the norm … how to go about things.

  • ShakeShake

    The main thing to remember here is there really isn't a key. I may be a newb to the cuddle community, but people are still people. We're not machines. It can be all too easy to forget we're the background characters in other people's story, we're all different. For some, they may be willing to cuddle after the first meeting. Some it may take several. Experience, personality, all these different factors are at play here.

    But for everyone you meet on here, the one thing we have in common is the need for patience & respect of boundaries. When I send a PM to someone, and they don't respond back, I leave it alone, no harm done. Maybe they're busy, maybe I said something I didn't realize in the moment might rub them the wrong way, or maybe I'm just not their cup of tea. And you know what? All of that is perfectly ok & valid. Be patient, be yourself, and you're likely to meet some awesome people when all is said & done.

  • Libra0Libra0
    edited September 2021

    Flagged. Reviewed. Removed.
    Personal attacks are not permitted in the Forums.
    Please read the Terms and Conditions as well as the Forum Rules, and abide by them should you choose to return to the Forums.
    Your Timeout begins now.
    [-CharlesthePoet]

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    Just going to mention, if more men were willing/wanted to cuddle eachother then that could go a long, long way.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @Shake49 ~ Well put!!!
    @Lovelight ~ Yes!
    @CharlesThePoet ~ So true!
    @MCcuddles2 ~ Agreed on the connection bit!!

    Things others look for in a profile (in no particular order):
    A pic of any kind
    Words

    Specifically, words that introduce you/make you seem human and that may answer the following:
    Why cuddling?/Why are you here?/What are you looking for and/or what do you offer?
    If hosting, what is your space like?
    Etc.

    Basically, think about your ideal cuddle partner... What do you suppose they'd like to read/know? Then write that.

  • [Deleted User]Saysoh (deleted user)

    I'm still yet to hire a cuddler because I'm on the fence and this post shakes my perspective even more.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    Aww... @Saysoh ~ I'm sending you enthusiastic enthusiast wishes!! 🫂

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    I know plenty of female enthusiasts that have told me they like to see karma so that they can talk with others who have cuddled you. Like, if you are able to book with a few cheaper but caring pros to get some reviews on your account, then some enthusiast women can connect with them and feel a bit safer hearing from others that you’re a good guy. Women like to talk with other women and get their point of view.

  • Big_ChrisBig_Chris
    edited September 2021

    I think that for guys the biggest factor is luck. You can have a great profile but it's really hard to connect with a human on the internet. Harder still for women to sift through a quagmire of "hey"s and "wyd" to find one or two genuine messages.

    The only way to mitigate low chances due to luck is to have many attempts. Stick to who you are, be genuine, and keep looking until someone clicks with your vibe. Until then, try not to have the bad feels from being ghosted or rejected or ignored.

  • timetocuddle07timetocuddle07

    Yea ghosted, rejected, ignored, friendzoned are part of life. I always thought work on yourself, get practice on those u may not think twice about cuddling initially for you can be prepared for the cuddles u have to spark some serious interest from

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Some good advice in this thread. Some of it, I fear, is well meant but won't actually help very much.

    I started off exactly like this. Nobody answering. I've now had some very different experiences, including women contact me and having to say no to enthusiast cuddles because I already have too many arranged. I'm not boasting, these are just things that have happened to me. I live in a cuddle hotspot (London), and I'm very confident that they were possible only because I live in such a place. (NYC, southern California, one or two others).

    Some of my cuddlebuddies are pretty girls in their twenties. (Some are older than me, I don't care about age or looks.) For the record I am midddle aged, medium height, plain, overweight and one notch above skint: but none of these things are important in the context of cuddling.

    I've posted a couple of threads how to get from point A to point B.

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/10731/how-i-found-happiness-on-cuddle-comfort#top

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/11489/how-i-found-happiness-on-cc-part-2-the-first-meeting#top

    @Saysoh - I would say go for it. The risk/reward chart is strongly in your favour. If you have specific points you'd like us to help you think about, start a thread about it. Hiring a professional cuddler for the first time is not a trivial decision for many people, and the forum is a good place to talk/think it through.

    @JasonCuddles a key point!!

    @CharlesThePoet is quite right, the biggest obstacle for a lot of men is their sense of entitlement.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    Hear! Hear! @JasonCuddles If men who think that cuddling with men is gay could see how lovingly this gay man cuddles with women, they would see that it has nothing to do with sexuality. It's just affection. Funny thing is I thought from the title that this discussion had to do with man-to-man cuddling.

  • Dante2Dante2

    Be more open to man to man cuddling. For me is the body I am looking for. I've only had 1 cuddle with a guy. I've learned I'd rather cuddle a gay guy than a straight guy. I feel they would be more comfortable with it. It was awkward because they were awkward with it. Barely touching and seemed really off put with it.

    Be patient and realistic. Sent one message and the women didn't respond for over a month. How much cuddling does a person really need? A woman has tons of options and once they are comfortable with 1 or 2 people do they really need to find more partners to fulfil their needs?

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    I hug men, but I'm not yet cool enough to cuddle men. Too straight, too much cultural baggage.

    Somebody once asked me, if I was to cuddle a man would I prefer that man to be gay or straight? I was thunderstruck by this question, because even though I had thought about cuddling a man the sexuality part simply hadn't occurred to me. Anyway, I had a think and came to the conclusion that I didn't really care, but other things being equal I would more likely opt for a gay man.

    I'm very keen that men cuddling men should be normalised. I mean, it is normal, we just need to make sure everybody realises that.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    I'm not yet cool enough to cuddle men. Too straight, too much cultural baggage.

    @CuddleDuncan I appreciate your candid self-reflection. I wouldn’t say you’re too straight, because even the straightest man can cuddle with another man. I think it’s just that you’re carrying cultural baggage. Your (our) culture has heternormalized cuddling, teaching you (us) that what’s normal is for men to cuddle with women, not men.

    @Dante2 & @CuddleDuncan I would be so happy to be that gay man that you and other men might prefer to cuddle with, because I have no hangups about cuddling with men and I keep it platonic. There’s nothing quite like a nurturing man cuddle or bro cuddle. I hope that you and all other guys who are curious about cuddling with another man find someone who is totally comfortable with it and totally platonic about it. And that guy might be gay, straight, or anywhere in between!

  • blisscuddlesblisscuddles


    If you are statistically inclined….

  • TheMidnightOwlTheMidnightOwl

    @CharlesThePoet nails it, as always.

  • SuperManCuddlesSuperManCuddles

    @JasonCuddles I totally agree! I heard the experiences of some men in this site waiting 2 or more years for 0, 1 or a few women cuddles. My thoughts for these men, are why not cuddle close and trusted male friends? @CuddleDuncan I appreciate your open minded perspectives and insight about the possibility of cuddling men (the possible benefits and barriers that may be overcome in time). I agree and find that many men are ok with hugging male friend 🤗but not all are ok with cuddles. Based on my experiences, many people view cuddling in terms of romantic relationships benefit, hetero normative but happy that this site aims to show the world that cuddling can be shared by platonic friends too. @Dante_S Thank you for the open mind and as a result you are getting an extra cuddle 🤗(more to come 🤗). You and @CuddleDuncan mention cuddling a Gay man, which again open mind is awesome!!! 😎I have cuddled many not only Gay men but others that identified as Bi, Straight and or curious. What made the cuddle great was not necessarily sexual orientation but skills to provide platonic affection/possible friendship too!!!🤗 To share my experiences again, many Gay men that I have encountered have been excellent cuddle buddies but have also met great cuddles buddies of many orientations and genders too (comfort and personal attributes can make for great cuddles). @nurturingman Thank you for sharing your perspectives again and being open to providing platonic cuddles to “Everyone”, including a “platonic cuddle bro” for Straight men!!!😁😎🤗 From my experience your cuddles are awesome and I look forward many more!!!😎🤗🎉😁🏆👑

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