What that thang do LOL
@panda619 true story bro 😂😂
Not scared at all. But I am selective.
As a new enthusiast I have made some really good connections with a few members. But it is a lot of conversations through CC messenger and text getting to know the person a bit before meeting up with them in person.
Then their actions must match what they have communicated. Some people can talk a good game, but their actions say otherwise.
I have a regular enthusiast on here that I meet with weekly and have even felt comfortable enough for an overnight. He is a wonderful gentle soul and very respectful. Each of us feels soul recharged and can face another week no matter what life wants to throw at us.
I have invited another member away for a weekend that I'm taking with friends in a resort cabin. Also someone who I've communicated with extensively before meeting.
Both of these men took the time to really build communication and trust with me.
@calmcontact I'm very sad that the kind of men you have experience with have taught you this about us. I'm shocked that you think 99 percent of men can't trust themselves around women to behave. Really ? I expect a lot more from other guys. We are not animals. We can control ourselves. I once has a cuddler flash her bare breasts at me suggesting I wouldn't control myself and I laughed. I mean they were impressive breasts but i couldn't believe she thought I couldn't control myself. I'm really disappointed that virtually all the men you know are not able to control themselves.
I am not scared of cuddling men. 🫂
@Melancholy I have to agree. That comment painted a truly sad portrait of who men are.
@Melancholy @Morpheus
I’m always surprised that it’s shocking to my male friends how often I get sexually harassed my men. One of my friends teaches self defence to women and is still shocked at how often it happens. He said “I thought this amount of abuse only happened in movies” nah, my dude. This is almost daily. And it makes me sad for guys that truly are amazing and deserve a nice conversation or have a great cuddle. We’ve been treated so poorly and so frequently that a lot of us have to have our guards up at all times. I know some men play it safe against women and want a pic for safety reasons and will meet in public but the vast majority that I’ve talked to will immediately meet with a stranger to cuddle without any precautions and it blows my mind! To just not be cautious or be frightened enough to vet the person and connect first, just dive right in, absolutely brain busting to me 🤯 but then again, most men are safe to take a walk at night while statistically, women are almost guaranteed to get cat called, grabbed, raped or murdered. (I know this can happen to men too but can we understand that it does 100% happen more to women). I just want to have that trustworthy, carefree feeling but it’s not as easy for women. So we vet, we ask questions, we talk, we get a picture, we meet in public, we let our friends know where we are.
🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ @Melancholy you're killing me here by putting so many just blatantly absurd and inaccurate words in my mouth. To be clear I'm not mad, I'm sure you're a nice guy, it's just frustrating to have to address all these false claims you've made about me. Please read more carefully next time, and if something seems off, do a ballpark check (does this actually track/line up) before jumping to wild conclusions. You could also ask for clarity instead of inappropriately telling me what my views and experiences are.
In response to you saying
I've heard guys say they don't even want to be in the same room as a woman because they think they might be falsely accused of something.
I said
@Melancholy In my experience 99% of the time men are afraid to be alone with women is because they (for good reason) don't trust themselves to not do something inappropriate and/or unwanted.
which you apparently misconstrued to mean these claims were somehow the case
I'm shocked that you think 99 percent of men can't trust themselves around women to behave. Really ? I expect a lot more from other guys. We are not animals. We can control ourselves. I once has a cuddler flash her bare breasts at me suggesting I wouldn't control myself and I laughed. I mean they were impressive breasts but i couldn't believe she thought I couldn't control myself.I'm really disappointed that virtually all the men you know are not able to control themselves.
What I said and what I meant.
In my experience -- me talking directly about my personal experiences with hearing men vocalize that they are afraid to be in the same room as a woman.
99% of the time -- 99% is modifying time, not men. 🤦♀️Statistically speaking it would be insane to make this claim about 99% of men which is NOT what I said.
Ok, so I'm saying 99% of the time that I've heard these words uttered, it was from men who were creepy and had a reason to be afraid that they wouldn't control themselves because that's their MO and they tend to think it's funny to joke about. THIS IS A SMALL SAMPLE! I've met a lot of people so we're talking less than 1% of the men that I've encountered.
Let me be clear. I believe creeps (men who can't and/or don't "control themselves")are the exception, NOT THE RULE. (Which I say to credit all the good men out there. I see and appreciate you.) If it were the other way around I wouldn't regularly be meeting strangers to cuddle. You tend to hear about Pros dealing with a higher density of creeps in their prospective client population because this is a place that creeps think is a good target of their creepiness. THIS IS NOT ACCURATELY REPRESENTATIVE OF ALL REAL WORLD DATA. I believe the majority of men fall within the bell curve and are NOT CREEPY. (That still leaves room for plenty of creeps to exist and they do. -- I've been harassed and know many women who have been. Please believe them when they share their stories.)
So one last time - let me put your minds at ease "I'm very sad that the kind of men you have experience with have taught you this about us." -- Don't be sad, I've had lots of wonderful men in my life and you misunderstood my comment. "I'm shocked that you think 99 percent of men can't trust themselves around women to behave. Really ?" -- No, not really. Not even a little bit. That's ridiculous. "I expect a lot more from other guys." -- You and me both buddy. "We are not animals. We can control ourselves." -- I'm perfectly aware of this and experience it daily. I couldn't agree more. "I once has a cuddler flash her bare breasts at me suggesting I wouldn't control myself and I laughed. I mean they were impressive breasts but i couldn't believe she thought I couldn't control myself." -- This was wildly inappropriate if it was a professional, also the assumption that you'd be compelled to do something inappropriate yourself was quite childish on her part. "I'm really disappointed that virtually all the men you know are not able to control themselves." -- No need to be disappointed because it's actually quite the opposite. I keep GREAT company, have amazing male friends, and 100% of them "control themselves". I can be nude around them and there are exactly 0 worries anyone will be inappropriate. Quality representatives of men. 🤗🤗🤗
@Morpheus My comment was about a small small subset of men. It didn't have anything to do with the picture I would paint about men as a whole. I'm sorry to have potentially made you sad.
That's all! Have a great day you guys.
@calmcontact Just to clarify, I didn’t say your comment made me sad, I said it painted a sad picture of men.
No I am not afraid at all but am sensitive when the first sentence is, " hello, can we cuddle tonight" and how much do you charge 😋 when my profile doesn't indicate that I am a pro...🙃
@Melancholy ""I once has a cuddler flash her bare breasts at me suggesting I wouldn't control myself and I laughed. I mean they were impressive breasts but i couldn't believe she thought I couldn't control myself.""
That was awfully inappropriate of said woman to do, especially in a cuddle context. I don't know what planet she was on that she thought that was appropriate to do to see if you'd "control yourself". Though it sounds to me like she was likely trying to push your boundaries under the guise of playing it off as a "test" or something. Quite inappropriate.
@Morpheus that's why I said I was sorry to potentially have made you sad, just in case "a sad picture" results in feelings of sadness. Definitely wasn't sure one way or the other.
My comment wasn't painting a sad picture of men, it was painting a sad picture of a very very small percentage of men.
I'm scared of beautiful women😍 🤗😬
I am becoming scared of these sorts of threads because they devolve into putting people into boxes, textual misunderstandings, and anger. I have been guilty of doing that in threads as most people have to some degree or another, but when a woman says she is sexually harassed quite a bit and other women share similar case stories, then I believe them. I mean, why would groups of women make up stories like that? There would be no discernible reason for them to do so.
I'm not afraid! Course I dont really fear anything besides abandonment lol!!! Theres no reason for me to fear cuddling men
@Sheena123 just saw your duffman costume. We’re cuddling if I’m ever in town. Love the Simpsons
I was apprehensive about weighing on this thread because it was calling for the opinions/responses of women cuddlers, but I felt I had something to contribute to the dialogue that hadn't mentioned explicitly.
@soarskills45 I don't believe that this is a question that you'll get satisfactorily answered here, but I'll try. But to start, I have a few assumptions, which if not true, will undoubtedly discount everything I say in this comment.
Assumptions: (1) You genuinely want answers and advice to a concern you are expressing.
(2) You are actually approaching women with genuinely pure and noble intentions, and make every effort to ensure that's how they are perceived.
(3 )You are willing to look inward and assess your own approaches, and make changes if necessary.
(4) You understand that no one is obligated to respond to your, or anyone's approaches in a way you like.
If any of these assumptions are false, that's already a non-starter for actually addressing your post. But, I'll give the benefit of the doubt and continue...
...from personal experience, it seems like approaching a woman for any reason in 2021, no matter how pure and noble, is just a huge no-no.
Can you give specific examples, from your experience, of how you are approaching women, and examples of how women are reacting to your approach that tells you it's a "no-no." Without knowing your communication style and social strategies, it's hard to assess whether or not you'll have different results here.
If by "experience" you mean how you anticipate your approaches will be perceived, then I would have to ask why is that your perception? How certain are you that your approach is, or will be reasonably be, interpreted as "pure and noble"? And how do you define "pure and noble"? Again, are there specific examples you can provide to show that (a) your approaches were actually considered pure and noble, and (b) that it was still "a huge no-no"?
And, of course, you didn't say how you define "a huge no-no", so I have no idea what resistance you've received in previous attempts to approach or initiate communication with women, nor can I infer what the consequences you've dealt with as a result.
This all leads to your main question of whether or not it will be...
...any different here?
Well, if the only thing you've changed is where you approach women (Cuddle Comfort vs elsewhere), but you aren't changing or even considering changing how you approach women, then I don't see how a change in venue or environment will be enough for you to see any change in results.
I can say that from my personal experience, an unfavorable response to any approach I've made with women (or really, with any other human being) was nothing more than bad synergy. Meaning that my energy level, word-choice, or even just timing didn't match what the other person wanted to deal with at that moment. Changing the locale without changing the approach isn't very likely to change the result.
And I think that's a fairly universal thing for all people, to be honest.
I hope this helps.
@panda619 lol 😂😂😂 bring it on!!
@ernesto_2 do you have a TED talk somewhere I can watch? The responses of yours that I have read are so full of wisdom and high quality communication. I'm just sayin, if you wrote a book, I would read it.
I second @Jkay
@Jkay I appreciate the compliment. If it sounds like wisdom, let's just say I chalk it up to a lot of experience in failure lol. (After all, we tend to learn better from failure than success).
I have also taken a major deep-dive into self-awareness over the last couple of years, and I am still working on that.
I appreciate the compliment. If it sounds like wisdom, let's just say I chalk it up to a lot of experience in failure lol. (After all, we tend to learn better from failure than success). I have also taken a major deep-dive into self-awareness over the last couple of years, and I am still working on that.
@Jkay look ^ even his response was Ted talk worthy
@cuddles_ndream Seriously
@ernesto_2 When you write the book let us know. I'm ready to pre-order.
I really loved this post because the majority of women on here actually said very nice encouraging things about men. Most women on here also expressed how much they love cuddling men. I really appreciate these positive expression of emotions.
@Melancholy I wanted to help with some clarification because I understood what @calmcontact was saying, but I think I can understand why you read the comment the way you did.
Calm wrote:
In my experience 99% of the time men are afraid to be alone with women is because they (for good reason) don't trust themselves to not do something inappropriate and/or unwanted.
I read this as:
In my experience, when men are afraid to be alone with women, 99% of the time it is because they don't trust themselves.
It seems like you took it as:
In my experience, 99% of men are afraid to be alone with women....
So, I can kinda understand how you could have read it that way, but I think the overall context of this thread indicates that your interpretation could have been off, and asking for clarification might have helped.
Here's my take:
One of the (not so ironic) consequences of #metoo movement has been the #notallmen response. We are only now acknowledging just how much of a gap exists in teaching boys and girls bodily autonomy and consent. We teach "no means no" but then we also teach girls to "play hard to get" and boys to "try, try again", which undermines the very premise of giving/getting consent. As a result, there are many times were a man could have made a women feel uncomfortable without any malice or ill intent.
We also teach that people should "accept responsibility for their actions", and we imply that there is always an intent behind an action. This creates another problem for men who are being told that women feel uncomfortable. Since we associate action with intent, men are faced with very difficult cognitive dissonance: if a woman feels uncomfortable, someone made them feel uncomfortable. But... I/you/we/he didn't mean to! So now what?!
No one wants to be held accountable for something they didn't do (or didn't intend to do), so it can be very difficult to process this. We get defensive. I know I have, in the past. And we especially take offense when lumped together with "all men".
But Calm's comment wasn't about all men, or even most men. She was saying that in her experience, when men behave a certain way, it's usually because they know they can't or won't control how they act.
So... sure, #notallmen are major assholes (edit) tools (edit) like that. Definitely not 99% of all men. Right? So clearly, that wasn't what she meant. But, I think we can all agree that there are some like that out there. And sadly, there are a lot of men who defend them, excuse their behavior, or try to argue that what the woman did, said, or wore... or even didn't do, say, or wear somehow justifies their behavior. And that's not even touching the claim that "not nice guys" are the ones who try the hardest to claim that they're actually a "nice guy."
So my recommendation is that if you know something doesn't apply to you, and it's not a claim that all (or 100%) of men do something, take a moment before responding.
Mod's, please pardon my French, but there are times were vulgarity is necessary, and this is probably one of them.
Usually not scared because I like to go in with a positive attutide. Then it all it depends on the guy and their intentions afterwards for any repeat sessions.
I personally am not scared of cuddling men. I'm more concerned about what there intentions are. I just signed up today and I do have a little anxiety about it. I have watched a few videos of someone else doing it and I thought it was funny.
I'm not scared of cuddling men. As long as my clients follow CC rules that all sessions are platonic sessions, that's great. I enjoy cuddling men. I've cuddled with close to 300 clients total & 97% of my clients are men.
@ernesto_2 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I can be a bit more anxious and have a harder time communicating boundaries because of past trama, but some women can make me anxious to.. so it really depends on the person.