Please share
There are a very limited number of enthusiasts in my area and I am older than what they say they are looking for.
Very interested in perspectives and responses here 😊
Also interested and following 😊
I suck at dating, never been in a relationship and I don’t get human touch outside of professionals. Sometimes I get hugs from friends but that’s about it.
Enthusiasts are either very flaky or I’m not their type or they are overburdened with other cuddlers.
I desperately needed a cuddle. I discovered, quite by chance, a professional cuddler. (Long before I discovered Cuddle Comfort.) I booked an appointment immediately and it was a great success.
I continue to hire professional cuddlers for three reasons. Firstly, they are amazing people. Secondly, they offer one-way care: this makes the experience very different from cuddling with a fellow-enthusiast. Thirdly, enthusiast cuddling connections come and go, and - certainly for me - it's rare for them to give me all the cuddling I need.
I have enjoyed my cuddles with both enthusiasts and pros.
I have a busy life. Scheduling is more convenient with a pro.
So far, in my experience on here, almost no one other than the professionals, will take the time to even respond to you. I just chalk that up to them either not finding me to be compatible with them, or they're not emotionally prepared to actually consider getting together with a near stranger for cuddling. In either case, they're not compatible with what I'm looking for. What we're all searching for here, can require a great deal of courage and emotional fortitude, in order for us to carry through with the act of platonic cuddling. Not everyone has the required conviction, to engage with others with the dignity and respect that they deserve. And most of the ones that do have such conviction, can see their value, and thus charge accordingly. That's my take on it anyway.
But to answer your question more directly. I have hired professional cuddlers, because sometimes I actually need human touch for my emotional wellbeing, and if there is no one willing to provide me with that experience at no cost, what other choice do I have? Regardless, I'm extremely grateful to have professional cuddlers as an option. Because in a very real sense, they have saved my life, by saving me from the downward spiral of emotional despair that I had found myself within.
I asked this question because during a session with a pro recently, mid cuddle, she asked why I hire pros. The first thing that came to mind was, I love that I can basically snap my fingers and be intimate with someone without having to put in the work of having a relationship with them. I felt that what I said sounded mean so I apologized for possibly sounding mean. Her reply was quite amazing. She said there are so many people out there that will do things such as lie to people, lead people on and hurt people emotionally for the purpose of some temporary intimacy. She said that she felt that what I was doing was much healthier for myself and more considerate of others. There are many other reasons why I hire pros but I wanted to share this. I think pros think about how they help their clients but do you ever think about the other people that are positively affected by the actions of your clients due to the benefits of professional cuddlers?
because its hard to cuddle with enthusiasts lol
As far as I know there are no enthusiasts anywhere near me. The problem with living in Rural England I guess!
There aren't too many pros nearby either though so I have to plan special trips to see them
I am curious about people’s life stories. I find that most of the time people O meet socially or professionally wear masks to project a certain image to other people. I have found that cuddlers are relatively more open to reveal their true selves and are comfortable expressing their vulnerabilities. Cuddling with professionals helps me create a shared space for meaningful conversations, deep reflection and creativity. I have found many cuddlers who have inspired me with their openness to share their stories.
After reading other people responses I realize the question isn’t 1 dimensional… or is it?
I’m thinking now that you mean, why did we join cc to hire professional cuddlers?
I found it hard to make a connection with an enthusiast in my area (reach out but no response) so I turned to a professional because I was going through a rough patch and wanted to try and see if cuddling would help (which it did).
So I basically saw a professional due to lack of availability elsewhere.
If not for professional cuddlers, I would have given up on CC in no time. There was a time when it would have seemed absurd to me, paying for platonic cuddling. Fortunately, I grew up from that instar of my younger self. I'm very thankful for the pros I've become acquainted with here. As to why? There's really been one woman, on and off, who I've cuddled with recently. There's so much accessory crap that goes along with her, and she's sometimes completely inaccessible, that it's not even worth it. Maybe I'll try to cultivate some older ladies in need of cuddling, I don't know. The problem for me is meeting them to begin with.
Because money can't buy me a personality, but it can buy me a fun relaxing cuddle.
@Morpheus I love this open dialogue and appreciate the authenticity in answers shared.
From my perspective I encounter many people paying for cuddles / connection / proximity and for varying reasons - there is no wrong answer or one size fits all. Whether or not people have paid for cuddles as a form of self care or therapy directly I often see a tremendous amount of healing, growth, vulnerability and support within our sessions. There can be laughter and play, deep and stimulating conversations, nurturing or invigorating touch, and certainly silence. When people commit to spending quality time with one another, focusing their energy and attention on one another it can be an incredibly restorative and elevating experience. This service enables people to get their innate needs met and without the expectations work or loss of time and energy that can come with a personal relationship. The focus on boundaries, consent and respect make for a safe space for this intimacy.
@Morpheus I often hear of the overflow of benefits after cuddle sessions! The most surprising one I hear is a rush or wave of creativity following a session. When someone has taken good care of themselves, their needs have been met or they simply have felt safe, seen and heard, their is an inevitable afterglow. Here’s a little behind the scenes sharing ~ many of my friends who are hired to cuddle also experience this afterglow and overflow of wellbeing, happiness, creativity and wholeness. Of course some sessions are heavy, or call for %100 “giving” rather than an exchange, or can be more cathartic and while than be be less than energizing for me personally it can still be immensely rewarding.
What also captivates me is what leads people to be paid to cuddle - that could be a thread all on its own though.
I admit that I have always had difficulty with dating and relationships…couple that with my medical incident nearly 5 years ago, and the dating pool for me is nearly non existent. 4 years of being deprived on any touch by anybody led me to seek out cuddling and now I have made wonderful new friends with the pros I cuddle with…and also I am able to improve myself and my social skills and sense of worth and importance. I now feel like I have the right to be happy and fulfilled and maybe someday I can find somebody to love and somebody to love me. I don’t feel like I am going to die alone and forgotten any more.
I don't know if a pro is allowed to contribute here, but if I were to hire a pro cuddler it would be for convenience, privacy, and safety. I actually really like the idea of hiring people that help meet my "ordinary" needs if you will. I would totally hire an early morning brunch partner. Someone fun to go to that dreaded wedding with? Hired! A companion to make me laugh after I got dental surgery. Sounds great. I think its a nice idea like you said @Morpheus to be honest about wanting someone present for a particular need, but not have to maintain relationships with them and have that part be intentional.
My job keeps me on the move. I am lucky that some of the amazing cuddlers across the south are able to make time for me on short notice.
I will say I have seen a disturbing trend that has made me pause. Many people have been talking about not getting responses from pros. I can understand from enthusiasts, but if you are a pro you need to be professional. If a person takes the time to contact you in the manner you request, then you should respond in kind. I’m not saying to book them, but many people are here because the feel less than. But they are all worth 1 minute of your time acknowledging them.
@MxSmith your response reminded me of someone who has become very successful at renting themselves out to do nothing, he has accumulated an incredible following & is in high demand -
Unlike some men on here, I do fine on the dating scene. But still sometimes dating is a pain in the ass and depressing. And it requires a significant time commitment. And it's not always reliable. And it comes with expectations that I may or may not feel like fulfilling. If I want to have a relaxing evening with a woman on a certain day, it's so much easier to just message a pro or three and find one who's available than to do it via dating.
I love that I can basically snap my fingers and be intimate with someone without having to put in the work of having a relationship with them.
Yeah, this is huge for me too. But I think people can misunderstand this. I have no problem giving emotionally -- in fact I love it. But I have a very low tolerance for a big upfront time commitment before I even know if I'm compatible with someone. Seeing pro cuddlers has kind of spoiled me in this way -- a lot of what goes on in the dating scene (or what women enthusiasts on this site want) now seems like such a colossal waste of time.
On the other hand, if the question is meant to be "Why do you hire pro cuddlers instead of seeing enthusiasts?", a key part of the answer for most men is simple: Enthusiast women don't reply. Personally, back years ago when I used to actually message enthusiast women, I basically never received a reply. Since then I have actually on a few rare occasions received messages myself from enthusiasts, but I generally don't pursue cuddles with them. Again, I've been spoiled by pros.
I’m just trying to get a hug and it feels kinda weird asking my neighbors…
For me personally… I like people. All people. Period. I’m blessed to be at that point in life where it doesn’t matter to me about pro or enthusiast. I’m sooooo interested in people. Meeting people. There are so many amazing people on here. I’m sorry if I seem like I don’t have “challenging “ situations like some on forums. My experience here has been great. I always recommend this site And I personally don’t find much difference between professional cuddlers and enthusiasts cuddlers. Again, I like people 😊
I haven't, but I would guess a lot of it comes down to supply and demand. There seem to be fewer non-pros in general, and pros are in theory less likely to flake out. At the end of the day, some ppl will pay for convenience.
I think this blog by @SnugglewithSam explains why someone would want to pay for a professional cuddler over a cuddle buddy. Specifically this bit:
If George decided that professional cuddling is too expensive, the next best thing for him would be to find a cuddle buddy, a cuddle enthusiast or a "friend with benefits" (in this case, the benefit being cuddles).
George would need to find a friend that wants to do this too. In general, his friend needs to be not dating anybody that wouldn't be okay with this, trust him, and feel good about cuddling with him.
If George has social anxiety, asking someone to do this could be a source of crippling fear. But let's say he doesn't, he asks someone to be his cuddle buddy, and they start cuddling together. Problem solved, right?
Well, not quite. A cuddle buddy situation is very volatile. It could end because someone gets into a relationship and the cuddle buddies need to stop because of it. It could stop if the cuddling gets awkward. It could even stop because they end up not being a great person to talk about work and problems without being told what to do and many other things.
Even though professional cuddling costs money, there are quite a few skill sets that go into it—relational skills, an understanding of boundaries, and schedule reliability.
On this particular night, unlike most professional cuddlers, George's cuddle buddy might not be very reliable as far as scheduling goes. They plan to see each other Friday, and then when he texts her on Friday morning she texts back that afternoon, "sorry, I'm swamped with work and have to stay late." Damn!
Because I find dating is a waste of time. I'd rather just cuddle with no further expectations. Plus, anyone who is on here likes to cuddle and I'd guess is fairly good at it.
Same reason I pay for professional hair stylist/barber, waxer, mechanic, therapist, taxi driver, chef...they provide a service and skill set that I can't provide myself and very much appreciate that they give this opportunity.
"Same reason I pay for professional hair stylist/barber, waxer, mechanic, therapist, taxi driver, chef...they provide a service and skill set that I can't provide myself and very much appreciate that they give this opportunity."
This, plus, some of us come up short on the looks/dating side of things where you're invisible to women. Biology is a b*tch.
Like several others here, I have hired pros because they have their screening procedures and once those are completed to their satisfaction, they are ready to cuddle. There is not as much of a need to prove myself to them, and there is no obligation to engage with them in a personal relationship. They (if they’re worth their salt) are good at what they do and okay with crying, which is one thing I have found to be cathartic and therapeutic — just to be held and let the grief in my heart melt. I don’t just hire pros to hold me while I cry, though; I also like to chat, laugh, and be silent. I know a Pro is there for me wherever I’m at in the moment.
I have hired both male and female pros, although the male pro lived in a town I was visiting (I’ve usually been the only male pro in my area who cuddles people of all genders). I’ve also hired pros in my development as a pro myself so I could observe how they do their work and so that I could experience what it’s like to be a client.
I’ve loved all the great comments and appreciate everyone’s honesty.