@quixotic_life You need to read closer. I never mentioned bashing other than saying I really did not see any enthusiasts bashing pros. I did say there were some pros that seemed to be trying to censor or squash discussion. I would say it would be best to not react to posts as a personal attack or an accusation unless you are named or described to a tee. Because it kind of leaves me thinking “WTF??”
But I do like that you took personal responsibility for harshness. Now that I read what you first wrote that was harsh. Good for you for owning it because statements like that which are not specific to the thread but are generalizing from several threads is a recipe for starting unnecessary conflict.
@FunCartel “ I would say it would be best to not react to posts as a personal attack or an accusation unless you are named or described to a tee. Because it kind of leaves me thinking “WTF??”. 🤝💯 spot on sir.
There is no way of having a meaningful life without risk and vulnerability.
If you choose to open your heart to someone, they may cheat on you or leave you. If you choose to give money to a stranger on the street they may buy drugs or alcohol, or they may rob you while you are trying to help. If you agree to meet a stranger, they may not show up. If you pay a deposit, they may take your deposit and run. This is life. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes its amazing, but it is all life.
Asking anyone to foolproof your life seems to me to be futile. Asking someone to change or lower their standards (including publicly complaining about people's standards when you can't or don't want to meet them) seems to me to be futile and mean. I actually think its more insidious when we as men do that to women, as if life isn't already disproportionately challenging enough.
If you think its worth it, take the risk. If not, maybe take a deep breath and move on.
@FunCartel True ~ I lumped the noticing of censoring or squashing of discussion in with the bashing (which in my mind was read as more of a mild thwap with a pool noodle), but still in using that it comes out as way more extreme than was actually perceived.
I suppose this is a sign to take a little break and put that inner angst that's trying to surface, to where it's needed in my outside of CC life.
Also, I figured it wasn't directed at me, but also had reread my post and thought, oh yikes! I know I can be kind of an ass sometimes (and that was one of them) so figured I should just check in to be sure and to clarify. Sorry for triggering a "WTF?" moment though. And I appreciate the reply.
Okay, I'm off to try and be more effective with the second half of my day... Thanks again.
@quixotic_life no problem. I have spoken without reading everything first before. It happens.
But if we are going yhat route, why not have the cuddler pay a deposit too
That is just how many systems work. You cancel same day at Massage Envy, you get charged full price. The therapist cancels same day, and you're just SoL.
But we have to favor the professional, otherwise what benefit would they have to providing their services. Which I'm ok with.
It can be disheartening though when one person thinks their time is more important than another's though. It works both ways. All depends how they word it. Which then determines whether they keep a client or not.
@entwine Canceling an appointment and having to put a deposit down are not the same thing. Pros cannot charge for the full appointment if someone cancels which is one of the arguments for deposits. But your point about time is very pertinent.
This is one of those third-rail issues like fees and security that produces entirely too much acrimony in the community.
There are very few pros in my area that ask for deposits. If there are any that I might be interested in, I pass, or respectfully reach out to see if we can bridge the gap snd schedule a session.
We have to remain respectful of each other's positions, particularly regarding safety.
My concern isn't as much about time as it is about being stuck with a room or traveling. If the client is getting the room and I'm not traveling, I care less about a deposit.
I’m not going to name names, because that would be tacky, but there are clients here arguing against deposits who are serial ghosts 👻👀
@BellaSera I am a cereal ghost. Loved BooBerry as a kid.
@FunCartel, that explains your propensity for spooning…
@tucsonaz If you finished reading my comment you would see that there are payment processors that offer buyer protection. Again you have the power to report the offending pro or leave a bad karma. If they have a decent number of karmas chances are they won't flake or ghost and risk their reputation. I didn't start asking for deposits until I had been on here for over a year, had 30+ karmas.
@BellaSera 🤣🤣🤣
Thanks for the replies
@n3rdz97 That shouldn't be a reason to worry. Everyone starts with no karma. From what I've heard so far is that sometimes it is quick and sometimes it is slow. Just depends on your area and how many other pros are close by. Stay safe! 🙂
@n3rdz97 I would ask in a discreet way if that might be an issue and explain your reasoning.
🙇♀️ yeah, except i actually did read the whole thing first. i just wasn't braining very well...
@n3rdz97 I don't see anything on your profile about deposits so I don't see how it would be a problem
@n3rdz97 I don’t see that as a problem for you. Your profile is awesome! It just takes time to get started, cuddle and build karma. I wish you much success.
This must be something relatively new. When I used to pay to cuddle I was never asked to give a deposit. If I were asked to I would have declined and moved on to someone else.
I can definitely see both sides to the situation. I can see the side of the pro, who would like to take a deposit to hold a slot for the client. But I also can see where a client would be worried about getting scammed. So, I definitely do think that we need to account for both sides. Venmo actually just released payment protection for services as well.
If I'm looking at a pro and seeing a potential scammer, why would I ever be comfortable cuddling with them to begin with?
@WriterGF Sometimes the scam isn’t in the profile.
Having a mutual feeling of trust between both parties is key to having a good cuddle session. If you aren't feeling that either party is going to hold up their end of the agreement even before the session, best not to book that session at all. I've frequently paid for a pro hosted session in full well in advance, but then I had enough connection with the pro to give me confidence that it was going to happen. Then I've also l hosted pros at my space who have arrived, completed the session, and collected payment from me after it was all over.
The cuddler requesting the deposit has since blocked me because I didn't want to pay the deposit. So, that's nice!
@talldallasguy Thank you for the update and hope that you find more compatible cuddle buddies in the future. Don’t worry, we all get blocked sometimes but also have the chance for many cuddles in time (and with much messaging activity). I have cuddled many pros and never paid a deposit 💵 before. To each thier own, we all have our own boundaries/preferences and proud that you stick with yours/staying true to self!
@talldallasguy I would say 99% of the time the person that blocked me is not someone I wanted to talk to anyway. The other 1% are people I have never had any interaction with…like myself. So in the name of being proactive, I blocked myself so I don’t have to deal with my BS.
@talldallasguy Blocking sometimes just means "since we're not a match - or our policies don't match - I'll block you so we won't forget and mistakenly show up in each other's search again." Nothing personal. You can still interact in forums.
Never pay a deposit