The Simplicity of Cuddling

CuddleArielleCuddleArielle
in General

I recently had somebody criticize the career of professional cuddling as a whole by saying it was too "woo" and that people don't actually need it :( How wrong and sad! Here was my response to them:

"If you were locked in a tower for 3 years and weren't touched once during that time, what would you be willing to do for a hug? My clients are experiencing something similar with covid and have decided that a couple hundred bucks is worth it. This seems like a reasonable transaction to me. There's nothing woo about it. It's simple: oxytocin is good for people.

Or, I have a client who recently was r*ped and, as a result, unable to hug his friends without having a panic attack. After seeing me, he can now hug them comfortably. What would you be willing to give for a treatment like this?

I’m curious if you know of any therapeutic services you don’t consider woo. Basic in-person CBT and whatnot? What if you factor in health insurance complications, stigma, financial restriction, executive dysfunction–all of the things that make traditional therapy inaccessible? Alternative therapy practices are needed. Would you pay a massage therapist? What makes that “unwoo” compared to cuddle therapy? If you’re going to dismiss my practice as woo and stupid, you should be able to name a better alternative."

They couldn't name a better alternative, well, because professional cuddling is actually very important and good!

Comments

  • ShaneSchruteShaneSchrute

    It’s very un-woo from my point of view. 100% a need for some of us.

  • frankparker9frankparker9

    I had a massage from a very “unwoo” therapist once. She was a no-nonsense woman, maybe 60 years old, who specialized in working with athletes. As she worked on me, she said that there was only one type of massage that had a functional effect, which was applying pressure along the length of the muscle. Anything else was an “oil rub,” just rubbing oil on your skin in case that’s a good time or something. Haha. I could probably list a dozen other types of massage that obviously have beneficial effects, but she wasn’t having it.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited March 2022

    @CuddleArielle I think you are preaching to the choir on a cuddle site as far as the necessity of touch. You will find those that will question the requirement to pay someone to cuddle on this site and that is a battle I would avoid. However, I feel as though you feel compelled to explain and justify why you do it to someone who questions the legitimacy of what you do. I don’t think you should give them the satisfaction until they justify their occupation first. I guess what I am trying to say is there are many people who criticize anything new and anyone associated with it out of deep seated fears of the unknown. Don’t cater to these fearful people. Smile and give them a hug. Then tell them that was their product sample and walk away.

  • frankparker9frankparker9

    Craniosacral Therapy for one. If woo just means “relying on intuition and/or making a connection,” sign me up!

    I’m so glad you were able to help that client.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited March 2022

    @frankparker9 Did you get a massage from @Babichev? The age checks out, but the close mindedness not so much.

    I was just wondering why you mentioned the age? I have had MTs over 55 that were very good and could do several modes of massage. Mentioning age implies that is the reason for ignorance of other modalities.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream
    edited March 2022

    What they simply tried to do was discredit what you do & project their own personal feelings on how —-they—- feel about pro cuddling onto the world … Jay-Z will tell you to pay it no mind … Drake will tell you there’s more satisfaction out of going at their heads (free smoke 💨 2:35)

  • frankparker9frankparker9
    edited March 2022

    @FunCartel No. I only mentioned the age to paint a picture. I had no intent to generalize about age. You won't be able to guess who this person is based on their age alone, I mean that would be kind of nuts.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @frankparker9 Ok, was just curious because it seemed to come across that way. No problem though.

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)

    What is 'woo' and 'unwoo'?

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter
    edited March 2022

    @BuggleBear: Woo, or woo-woo, is anything believed with no or very little scientific basis for the belief. Like ghosts. "Woooo, woooooo, I'm a ghooost!" Like that.

    Unwoo is a new one on me, but based on the etymology I'm gonna say it's any belief with solid scientific evidence behind it.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I thought we were talking about The Wu Tang Clan 🤦🏻‍♂️

  • entwineentwine
    edited March 2022

    First I'm hearing of "woo" as well and curious.
    I like the ghost reference, if that's the actual definition, but I only believe Wikipedia.

    But yes, glad to hear cuddling has truly been therapeutic.

  • GallowglassGallowglass
    edited March 2022

    Cuddle therapy is healing to those who need it and treat it as "un-woo". And they get results.
    Cuddle therapy is "woo", for those who are looking for "woo". They probably don't get results.

    It's not the practice that deserves the labels, but those that feel a need to use labels.
    It's probably always going to be a "woo", to them.

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter

    @entwine: Hmm. Now you mention it, I don't even remember where I learned the word myself. It's been a while. Well, I can't find a Wikipedia page. Will Wiktionary do for you? Or Merriam-Webster?

    "Woo" is a pretty fun word. Whether it applies to cuddling, though.... Well, I'd say it depends on the claim. "Cuddling cured my cancer!" is definitely woo. "Cuddling improved my mood, reduced my heart rate, lowered my blood pressure, unsuppressed my digestive system, and picked my immune system up a bit—temporarily, but still!" is science.

  • GallowglassGallowglass

    To woo someone, is to court them, to woo and win their hearts, to date and be-sweet on them.
    In lingo sometimes, something woo is something frue-frue/fancy-wansy/pansy-wansy.
    In nerdy-geek, something woo is something empirically assessed, not backed by hard science.

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter
    edited March 2022

    @Gallowglass: I've never encountered the second meaning! "A fruity vodka cocktail," yes, but not something frilly and fancy in general. Do people really use the word that way? That's interesting.

  • GallowglassGallowglass

    @DaringSprinter I don't know how real that 2nd is, but I've heard it used like, "that's so woo", I guess something along the lines of "that's so last year", "that's so unmanly", ... in a derogatory way of meaning. Feel free to throw that out the window.

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter

    @Gallowglass: The development of language is a fascinating thing. It's probably an extension of the "fruity cocktail" meaning, but I wonder if it'll spread? I might find out—my state is next door to your state. I'll keep an ear open! Thanks for the early tip.

  • GallowglassGallowglass

    For kicks, you might google, "so woo woo"

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter

    @Gallowglass: I have! With and without quotation marks. Unfortunately, Google isn't being particularly helpful here. Guess I'll just have to wait for it to get to me in the real world—it doesn't seem to be online.


    The results further down each page were just as unhelpful. Ah well. Such is life.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    "Woo-woo" to me, describes things associated with new-agey, metaphysical, magickal, law of attraction, chi, chakra, karma, astrology, numerology... ect. ect.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited March 2022

    Another detailed thread. She wasn’t asking about semantics. She was trying to spark a conversation on the perception of cuddling by naysayers. I would have been interested in hearing more from others in regard to this.

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter
    edited March 2022

    @FunCartel: Does it count as derailed if it already arrived in the station and only went for a joyride after its primary goal had been fulfilled?

    I mean, OP never asked us a question. She told a story in which she asked someone else some very pointed questions, and we all clapped in happy agreement, and now we're talking about words, which is fun. That's not... bad, is it?

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    This thread has turned into a thread trying to figure out what the word, woo means.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)
    edited March 2022

     *I recently had somebody criticize the career of professional cuddling as a whole by saying it was too "woo" and that people don't actually need it  How wrong and sad! Here was my response to them:

    Her response to person.

    They couldn't name a better alternative, well, because professional cuddling is actually very important and good!*

    If you take out OP's quoted response to the person she was talking to about cuddling, she was just stating to us how good cuddling is. She was preaching to the choir. Convo turned to "what is woo?" because someone in the comments asked.

    • I give up on markdown formatting. 🙄
  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited March 2022

    @MaineCuddle yeah if you take out her response. But that is a hypothetical and the response is there. I find discussion about what naysayers think and why they attack the concept of cuddling far more interesting than what an easily googled slang term means. I mean worrying what woo means is trite while implicit in the OP’s post is a very germane topic to this site. Mainly, how do you overcome the perception that it is a con and without basis?

    Or is this forum just woo?

    Finally, I know you were merely answering the question in your post; this was more aimed at people who want to discuss the meaning of a word ad nauseum.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @FunCartel True. I don't know if there's a way to get people to overcome the perception. You just continue to do it and those people may never be clients or participants in it, or maybe they will come around eventually. As long as chiropractic, acupuncture, reiki, reflexology - you name it - have been practiced, many swear by them and still many people consider it all woo.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @CuddleArielle Bringing this back to your initial post, what did they base their opinion that people do not need touch on?

  • BabichevBabichev
    edited March 2022

    My definition of “woo” is magical thinking taken seriously. It is believing in that which has no evidence or even plausibility to support it or that which has been proven to have no benefit.

    I’m all for fantasy but I also think it’s harmful not to distinguish between fantasy and subjective reality. For instance, at a point in my life when there was lots of uncertainty I carried a particular stone in my pocket for “grounding.” I know that stones in pockets don’t really do anything and there are no magic stones but for me, because I decided to associate it with being calm and content, it became a reminder that I am okay and I can choose to take a moment and collect myself. It was a symbol for me and I used it consciously for a purpose that was subjective and personal. The problem is when people take these things seriously, literally, and think they are objectively real. If I earnestly believe the stone is magic, not only am I believing something that is not true but I am handing over my agency to something else. I’m sabotaging my self-efficacy in favor of believing that something else outside of me is going to “fix” me.

    Why do people continue to believe in such things? Well, they can appear to have effect because humans respond positively to focused attention and gentle touch so if someone does, say, Reiki and they feel better, they think it’s the Reiki that did it (channeling some vague “universal energy”) rather than understanding it’s just the focused attention and gentle touch in a relaxing environment. There is nothing wrong with that actual practice of Reiki. The problem comes with their explanation, which is completely bogus, and taking that seriously.

    Regarding the OP: I would first ask that person exactly what they mean by “woo”? And I would also admit that a lot of folks make dubious claims about “cuddle therapy.” That’s where the problem lies - dubious claims. If you don’t make claims there’s no magical thinking to refute. Just say it makes people feel good. Period. Isn’t that good enough? I do see folks, especially pros, make all sorts of claims for it and they really shouldn’t. They can’t support them with solid evidence. We don’t need those claims, though. People like to cuddle, it makes them feel good, and they don’t have someone to do it with. Period. That’s all we need.

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