When Two Insistent Givers Come Together

I was with someone recently who is a giver. I am also a giver. At one point, it almost felt like we were in a competition! There was just too much activity going on. My cuddle pal is also good at massage, and it seemed like he really wanted to take the lead. We laughed about it for a moment and agreed that although I wanted to also give to him that evening, it would all work out in the end, and there was no scorecard! So we spooned, and I was in front. There was nothing I could do but relax and let him give me that gift.

If you're with someone who has a hard time receiving, putting them into a position where they have no choice but to receive is the best way to handle it. Either spoon them from behind or give them a back rub. Works every time!

Comments

  • [Deleted User]Greybeard (deleted user)

    This advice , for whatever it is worth, goes for most relatiionships in life. As a giver, one of the hardest things to learn is that in some situations, you can only give the other person what they need by allowing them to be the giver this time. Learn how to receive and show gratitude for the act of love or kindness given to you. And if your thanks are genuine and fully expressed, you can end with, “and next time I’d like to take care of you like you took care of me today”

  • I like to touch and to be touched in the same session.
    <3 Jim

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    I agree @I_am_Polylover! However I'm a giver by instinct and love to give a nice neck/shoulder/back/head massage. But if they rub my arms or chest I guess I wouldn't oppose that. :)

  • That's better than 2 receivers coming together! Lol... you would just lay there waiting for something to happen!

  • Haha, yes @scarlette! Great thread topic. Often givers give too much, so I think it's an important practice to learn to receive. I can get so stuck in "give mode" that sometimes receiving can make me feel uncomfortable! Not a good balance there, but I am getting better with this. :)

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