Why do women here describe overweight as curvy?

[Deleted User]SnuggleSymmetry (deleted user)
in General
I noticed that women on dating websites and even here at CC describe their selves as curvy when they are actually obese. Just wondering if they know the difference.
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Comments

  • MarkMark Mod
    edited January 2016
    In their defence there is never a drop-down option for obesity.

    I do agree with your sentiment, however. Curvy is not accurate for someone who is obese and in our Western culture it is often used to give positivity to what is in fact a very unhealthy reality.
  • [Deleted User]SnuggleSymmetry (deleted user)
    Spot on Mark
  • CrispinCrispin
    The term curvy has replaced the words matronly, plump, stocky rotund etc.  It's not quite the same as what curvacious use to be.
    I have a big fat stomach which is one huge round curve. I just describe myself as overweight which to me says that I may have more than just a little pot belly or love handles. I should just say "Lots to hug" maybe.
  • docgatorbdocgatorb
    How about 'big in all the right places'?
  • AsmaAsma
    why do assholes think that women are interested in their stupid opinions about our bodies? 
    I noticed that men everywhere, and even here at CC, describe themselves as nice guys when they are actually assholes. Just wondering if they know the difference.

  • AsmaAsma
    i'd rather cuddle with Rosie O'Donnell than with you Cuddle_Power. you disgust me. 
  • NothernLightsNothernLights
    Maybe because people and especially women are shamed for their size by society (and people like you)?
    Also, since words for women's body-size matter so much to you: Those you mentioned aren't obese. They are fat. And I'd love to get a chance to hug them.
  • Darren66Darren66
    I think it comes from a deep-seated need that everyone has to feel desirable. A point in case is the above statement by Asma. People don't respond so strongly to a question or an opinion if they don't on some level care.
  • docgatorbdocgatorb
    As much as women try to overcome this effect, women have been put in the role of gaining meaningful relationships by being desireable. Men are much more likely to approach this by expressing their desires. Men have the reputation of reacting to what they see. This logically places women in the bind where they feel that they will likely be judged by their looks. I will point out that the harshest criticisms that I have ever heard regarding the looks of another human have been voiced by women about other women. That said, I feel that it is a human nature that is worth overcoming.

    I think that if someone decides to have a relationship with someone who they do not see as physically attractive, they will be surprised to find that over time, that person, if the relationship is otherwise successful, will appear more attractive. I think that this phenomenon is more common in cultures with arranged  marriages.
  • CrispinCrispin
    When I call myself overweight I think of a medical and esthetic term.  The pancreas doesn't do its job beyond a certain number of cells. I am not healthy because of this. Cuddle_Power, I mostly thought you were trying to understand the popular terminology but I do sense some anger against women for being large or for, somehow, twisting words to use a nicer word than fat. 
    Am I mistaken?  
    I often think being held more would make me more content and possibly less prone to eating out of unhappiness. What do you people think? 
    If one says someone is fat it is a skewed choice of words. Actually, I have fat, muscle, bone, cartilage, brains and hair.  No one is truly fat. We HAVE   fat which is true of eneryone.  
    Just be truly considerate. Of fellow site members and if you don't want to cuddle curvy women be sure and find a nice way to express that in your profile.
  • CrispinCrispin
    Asma is correct in that it is negative to discuss how women members describe their shape.  It is similar to bringing up how other members describe their race or religion. It seems unkind to discuss any of those things in the third person.  
    If we want to discuss our own shape or definition or ask another member to explain their definition, go ahead but don't expect a friendly reply. 

  • [Deleted User]SnuggleSymmetry (deleted user)
    Asma, whatever.
  • docgatorbdocgatorb
    Now you know your place, Cuddle_Power.
  • angela10angela10
    Has anyone one seen a movie called "Shallow Hal" by Gywenth Paltrow and Jack Black? Maybe Cuddle_Power needs the same spell.
  • [Deleted User]SnuggleSymmetry (deleted user)
    No, I am attracted to fit and healthy women.
  • Darren66Darren66
    I guess it all comes down to personal preference. I've always been a thin  guy and always been criticized by "some" ladies because of it so I guess that is the same as a woman being criticized for being larger. A person's personal preferences bring spoken openly may not be pleasing to us but they are entitled to their opinion. Just because a person has a preference does not necessarily even make it criticism.
  • NothernLightsNothernLights
    Cuddle_Power, you are aware that healthy people comes in all shapes and sizes, right? I know people who weights much more than me, who also works out more often, eats healthier and is better at self-care. But if you only want to cuddle slim people, then just state that on your profile, and problem solved.
  • docgatorbdocgatorb
    If a discussion about health and weight is needed, I can offer professional advise as a pharmacist, however, blanket statements that imply that weight means unhealthy or no desire to take care of one self are simply incorrect notions taken by the media. Take, for instance, in Polynesian cultures where extra body weight is a sign of popularity. Traditionally, these cultures used a lot of rituals where members fed each other. The more you were loved by the community, the more you were fed. Those who were most loved were most fed. Result? Being heavy was a sign of being more loved. Tell a sumo wrestler how unhealthy he is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NogC2IkaaAI
  • CrispinCrispin
    Gater,
    Very interesting. My capacity to love is the spell I put on myself. As a young man I was bewitched and liked tuberculer women w dark hair. Now I love talking with all people now and I find out everyone has discoveries ant talents that they don't tell others about.
    Now gater you opened a topic dear to me. I would seriously like to try feeding spoonfuls of food to whoever I cuddle. Not necessarily baby food but perhaps flavored yogurt. Maybe that is a budding fetish but in my mind it is a non-sexual intimacy that somehow seems to be akin to cuddling.
  • orneryoutfitorneryoutfit
    I don't think I am obese. I need to lose weight in my abdominal area but not in my arms or legs. I'd like to lose weight in my face some. I'm not going to lie. I think everyone needs a cuddle though. 
  • [Deleted User]angelgirl (deleted user)
    You're awesome, Asma! I find that once you sift through the dirt, you can find some beautiful, buried male treasure. Overweight, curvy, voluptuous ... Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and nirvana is found with the men who can truly see.
  • CrispinCrispin
    I think you are right. 
  • [Deleted User]hugs4urehealth (deleted user)
    I agree with Anglegirl. You are awesome Asma. Beauty is within and it radiates out.  If some want to cuddle with a specific body type then please say so in your profile. Otherwise let people be who they are. I enjoy cuddling with all body types. To me its much more important what is in the inside and that the person respects boundaries etc. Wishing you all peace and love. - Catherine
  • Grace_AnnaGrace_Anna
    It may be just me, but I don't care about the size, shape or appearance of the people I cuddle with. All I care about is that we can each respect each others' boundaries and that we are both upfront and honest about what we're looking for.

    On another note, I have friends who would be described as overweight/obese and they found men who like women that are their shape. I think they are actually quite pretty, regardless of their size or shape. Some people who are heavier may also be healthier than some who are slim. I generally try to concern myself with my health rather than appearance. I still need to exercise and try to eat right to be healthy. I don't expect slimness alone to prevent heart disease and diabetes for me as I age.
  • [Deleted User]hugs4urehealth (deleted user)

    I agree with Grace Anna.

    It may be just me, but I don't care about the size, shape or appearance of the people I cuddle with. All I care about is that we can each respect each others' boundaries and that we are both upfront and honest about what we're looking for.

    Very well put. And I believe the more honest we are about what we are looking for the more chance is that we will bring in what we are looking for and the less chance of creating suffering for ourselves or others. There are those that are looking for more than a cuddle and there is a wide variety of things that can fall under cuddling depending on your definition and experience. If we are honest about what we want it helps others know and allows us to create the space that we want. If one has preferences about body type etc, then if you put it on your page it may be helpful. No judgement . I feel honesty goes along way and knowing yourself well enough to know what you are looking for.  Happy cuddling. Peace, Catherine

  • moviesNmuseumsmoviesNmuseums
    We're you hoping their login involved using Fit bit to calculate their BMI or something?
  • RainMaker2021RainMaker2021
    edited February 2016
    Cuddle_Power, I tend to agree with you. I'm not going to sit here and fat-shame anybody because they are what they are physically and every size category has it's fan, but being obese and calling yourself curvy is a lie. There's a big difference between the two states. When I think of curvy, I think of a girl who;s a bit thicker. She might have a bit of a belly and her arms and legs might be a bit thicker, but she's not going to be as wide. Adele is a curvy girl while Melissa McCarthy is simply obese. Personally, if given a choice of any body type,

    I like a curvy body type with a bit of meat on her body because I live a very food oriented lifestyle and i myself have a bit of meat on me. I'm certainly no Ralphie May or John Goodman, but I'm not exactly skinny either and I have to use 'Average' as my body type description now because everybody associates Curvy with being obese, which i most certainly am not.
  • [Deleted User]SnuggleSymmetry (deleted user)
    Adele is not curvy, sorry.
  • [Deleted User]angelgirl (deleted user)
    Cuddle_Power, what would you consider Adele?
  • BruinBruin
    Employing a euphemism is denial, not acceptance. If someone can't accept themselves is it realistic to expect anyone else to? This is a site dedicated to a tactile experience. If someone misrepresents the experience they're offering I think it likely that they will have disappointing experiences in return.
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