@pmvines LMAO!
@hugo_stieglitz Yeah, you don’t have to be part of any community. Just that most people who call themselves poly do take part in some kind of poly community activity. They tend to read a certain set of books on the subject. They have a number of terms such as “non-hierarchical poly” or “relationship anarchy “ or “ethical non-monogamy”. Many of them go to meetups etc. They tend to be quite open about it. You don’t have to do any of these things to call yourself poly but it’s common. That’s all.
Some people who are non-monogamous find the poly scene a little annoying because it generally has a lot of drama and tends to attract people who like drama. So they just stick with open relationship or non-monogamy. No need to attach the word “ethical” because they feel no need to defend their lifestyle to anyone.
That’s the biggest distinction. It’s not about sex versus love, whether you are a swinger or kinkster or any of that. Any of the people who use any of these phrases to describe themselves could be involved in any of these activities.
@achetocuddle I is what I is
If I'm in a relationship yes I stay monogamous.
Wow, I'm really happy to see so many folks on here who are polyamorous, or who aren't judgemental of it. That's often not the case in online discussion forums.
I'm solidly poly, I can't think of any point in my life where monogamy is something I desired. I didn't have a word for it yet as a teenager but I knew it's what I was, and throughout life I've always told my partners that they're free to be romantically/physically/etc. involved with whoever they wish. I strongly experience compersion - the feeling of being happy when someone I love is happy (even if it's as a result from someone who isn't me), and sometimes described as the opposite feeling of jealousy.
@pmvines What you is is juuusst fine
Bringing back this topic because it's a fun read!
Like some of the asexual voices have mentioned here, I found myself leaning toward polyamory because I didn't see how I could fulfill anyone's relationship needs without sex. Most folks don't consider sex the most important part of a relationship, but it does still define it so I'd be incompatible with most. Nowadays I have no interest in relationships but the framework and community around it are still helpful for me so I stick around. I consider myself to follow something like relationship anarchy but without the political leanings, so I don't use that term for myself. I'd just consider myself non-monogamous.
To me, open relationships and polyamory are not the same, and neither is the same as relationship anarchy. They're all different frameworks under the non-monog umbrella and serve various purposes.
@Momoo that is exactly how I feel in my relationship with my hubby! I rarely ever, ever, ever have a craving for sex. I could probably go the rest of my life abstinent and I wouldn’t even notice. But that’s not fair for my hubby so with us opening up the doors to our relationship and allowing a person here and there to join to fulfill his needs but for him and I to connect with them together is so beautiful 🤩
Why or why not on this question is damn near impossible to be satisfactory. I mean because that’s what i want is the honest answer. If you’re either and don’t want to be that’s horrible.