I can see the pros holding a more firm boundary. Enthusiast could probably have conversation about what friendship might mean and look like for the cuddle friends.
If money changes hands, it's business. People use the term "friend" too broadly. A pro may enjoy being with a client, but I can't see it as a true friendship if a transaction is still taking place.
@cylee1180 100% yes!! I always tell people that we have boundaries around the time and space that we have and the way that we touch each other, but emotionally I am happy to connect with people as a friend. It's simply within a time and space. And yes @CuddleBarista1 I feel that way too. I really value the connections I've made here. I like how you expressed that experience for you.
Also, looking to the future, I'm a person who doesn't expect to grow old with a conventional family (I don't want to get married or have kids) but also the idea of being alone feels scary. I don't have a blueprint for what I want in life, but I feel deeply glad and less afraid thinking of my elderly self connected with people through platonic touch. I love my freedom but I don't think I can stand being isolated and touch deprived going through the hard times and so I'm really happy to have found this, and I expect at some point I'll transition back into a full enthusiast. You will not see me branded by the scarlet "P" forever. lol.
If you are paying someone to cuddle with you never lose sight of the fact that they would not cuddle with you if you ran out of money. As for friendship. I'm not sure. I don't think you can ever be friends with a pro cuddler at least not true friendship. It's a lovely illusion though while it lasts.
A cuddle that I didn't have to pay for would feel so much more special to me than all the paid cuddles I've ever gotten combined.
I'm reminded of this musical episode of the simpsons:
Moe to Barney: Move it, you drunk Or I'll blast your rear end
Barney: I've found two bucks
Moe: Then come in, my friend
@MCcuddles2 LoL
I wonder if there's a way to feel like it's not transactional. I know so many people can't get over that mental hurdle. Like if something is paid for it means it's not genuine. What if you paid a membership fee and then the cuddles were free? I honestly don't know how to prove that I really like building authentic connections with people. I did as a legal assistant and I do now, it's just part of my personality and it makes me happy.
@MxSmith for what it's worth, of course what you are saying makes sense. You are a human being. Human beings have complex desires, motivations, emotions. You're not a robot. While money is exchanged, naturally, as a human being, there is also a connection being built with the person you are sharing time, space and energy with. there is really nothing you have to prove here.
intertwining energy with another person is a personal, almost sacred (in my opinion) experience.
all my cuddles, whether paid or unpaid, are approached with meditative mindset with the ultimate goal of connection.
@MxSmith I believe you. Nothing in life is free. Not even cuddles from an enthusiast - they are getting something out of it from you. When ‘that’ runs out, the enthusiasts won’t cuddle or talk to you either.
I used to work as a landlord. I’d try to genuinely connect with all my clients. But we’re not friends outside of that workspace. They can’t call me to hang out and vice versa.
I think with the right frame of mind, a cuddle from a professional can be no different than a cuddle from an enthusiast. However, if one has always been lacking touch, perpetually, they find more value in being seen and appreciates for who they are rather than the physical comfort or the act of connecting with someone in a more general sense.
@sunnysideup - It just feels much better thinking that they are into me and that they aren't just there because I'm paying them. Enthusiasts are getting a non-financial reason to stay. They just enjoy your company enough.
@sunnysideup Yep. I absolutely get something out of being an enthusiast cuddler or I would not be trying to do it. I am a nice person, but I am not here to make someone else feel better. If I make someone feel better, or laugh, or anything I REALLY like it and am very glad, but it's not why I am here.
Nothing in life is free. Not even cuddles from an enthusiast - they are getting something out of it from you. When ‘that’ runs out, the enthusiasts won’t cuddle or talk to you either.>
Part of what I have tried to do as an enthusiast is find those people I click with and build a friendship along with the cuddles.
Some have drifted away and that left me a little confused and honestly hurt but I can't always predict another's changes in life. I let go, and let it be.
I have two long time members I communicate with regularly and always look forward to seeing them the next time.
With one, we have even started planning some mini vacations as it's much nicer to travel with a friend and share expenses and memories.
I have made my expectations and boundaries clear as I have let them into my life and it has been more satisfying then I could have ever hoped for. An amazing, kind, thoughtful and fun individual that I truly enjoy being around.
So, yes, as an enthusiast I think there can be friendship building but boundaries and expectations have to be communicated clearly and reviewed as necessary for it to work.
The answer is both really. But it really depends on the people and how thay handle things. Honestly if you're single then this really isn't a problem. But if you're in a relationship it can be problem. But again it really does go back to how people handle things. Talking is the best thing anyone can do and being honest no matter what.
@justjennn clear and concise answer.