I certainly think attractiveness has value and plays into pricing. That's the case with most jobs in our culture. When potential clients are trying to decide upon a new cuddler to schedule, many factors come into play; photos, suggestive or otherwise, are just one factor. For me, it's not just "attractiveness" per se, but whether there is playfulness in one of the chosen pics, a smile, the background chosen, etc.....all come into play for me. There is not a formula; rather, a sense of what the provider is trying to communicate by specific photos, and from there, I can get a sense of chemistry with what I prefer.
Another factor is of course karma, but not just the number posted, but what is said. Do they go into detail enough to give you a sense of what the sessions are like? And, for me most important, what does the cuddler say about the client in their reviews? As a self-confirmed sapio, words are very important, and if in a posted karma given by a cuddler I find gratitude, kindness, and colorful use of language, I reach out.
Pricing for me, though a factor, is less important than the other things mentioned. If they start to go north of $150, I generally stay away, unless they bring other published skills to sessions, like massage, life coaching, psych. counseling and the like.
Internal value and experience varies from person to person.
@bearhugs72
I find it very odd that some folks on here chrage that much for a cuddle
At first glance a price of $100/hr may seem surprising, but at the end of the day it's the price the market has settled on. And I do think it's understandable if you think about it. Even in a major city there are only going to be on the order of 20 or 30 pro cuddlers who are actually actively doing sessions, and there is basically a continuous ever-replenishing stream of men who don't get as much affection as they want... so they're offering something that's in high demand and is kind of scarce. Of course it's not going to be cheap.
OTOH I do find the really high prices, like over $150, a bit fishy. There are some $200+ cuddlers on the site, and I honestly am not sure what's going on there. I can get really great cuddles for $80/hr. Why would I even consider paying 2.5x as much?
@CuddleWho Remember when cannabis was being legalized, and there was a time when it was legal to have but not yet legal to sell commercially? So places would for example sell expensive cookies and give away a free sample of cannabis? That's my theory about the ridiculously high rates.
I really don't see any value in complaining about the rates charged by cuddle providers. Their work can be intense, and just because you may see yourself as a respectful client, providers must contend with aggressive behavior frequently. Just the process of vetting clients can be tiresome and draining. To create space to cuddle, both energetically and practically, is a task worthy of compensation, of course.....exactly how much is certainly up to each provider, based upon the numbers of clients they prefer, and the length of sessions they like. "Ridiculously high rates" is a perspective only, not one that is shared by providers who feel at risk each session with a new client.
It's a disservice to the growing profession to suggest rates should be uniformly low. When I book with someone who charges $100 per hr., I tend to book longer sessions, true. If they charge $160-$200, I usually only book an hour. Cuddling is incredibly intimate, and the best providers deserve every $ they charge......it can take a lot of energy to even prepare for, much less execute, a session, especially an outcall.
I recently paid the most for a session that I ever had.....$200. But she was traveling a distance, was available within the hour, and came with a tremendously upbeat, loving attitude. She wasn't a clock-watcher, stayed a bit longer as we were both enjoying our session, and I felt renewed, enlivened, and loved afterward. In addition, there were no other cuddlers anywhere near. So, how do I evaluate the pricing? To me, in that moment, it was definitely worth it. Now, another session with a popular cuddler elsewhere, who charged just a little more than half that, provided a very disappointing session. She offered no loving energy, admitted she cuddled to "put bread on the table", displayed pictures that barely resembled what she looked like in session, and I would never schedule with her again.
So it's a matter of who you value spending time with, what kind of a session they create, and how they organize their business to keep a balanced life. I feel incredibly fortunate to have met some amazing humans on this site and never begrudge their rates. My suggestion is to simply schedule with those whom you can afford.....without any untoward suggestions regarding high rates that others choose to charge and pay.
@beaubliss I appreciate your very fair and reasonable point of view in your posts. Actually, all of you who have shared your opinions - because I’m fairly new and have changed my rate a couple of times - I’m still trying to find the right place to be in this market and your comments help a lot. Thanks!
As per me , the fees should be at certain range for new cuddler
Pro cuddlers are independent cuddlers. They are able to charge whatever they want. If they don’t get bookings, then they will lower their price if they want bookings.
Why? What if the new cuddler brings all kinds of enthusiasm, freshness, and hopefulness? As well as skills and beauty? I know some cuddlers who started out high, around $165 per hour, and then brought rates down to encourage more volume....whereas others started out lower, and raised rates to encourage less volume.
The market will determine the appropriateness of the fees requested by the cuddler, not the wishes of the hobby community
@cuddlefather it would be difficult to impose a price range on new cuddlers considering that the cost of living varies so much between locations. It is fair that experienced cuddle therapists with more training, skills, amenities, etc charge more than someone just starting out. Value is very subjective; the types of clients I attracted when I first started are very different from the clients I attract now. Some clients value beauty, youth, being new etc; others value professionalism, ethics, emotional intelligence, education, etc. Some people just want to relax, other people want to work on specific issues or they want emotional support. Some people may want to cuddle with someone really attractive and some may want to avoid cuddle therapists they find attractive to prevent arousal. Some may want someone much younger, older, or close in age.
“Should”… your car cost less? groceries be cheaper? we earn more money? we be able to travel more? there be more sunny days? less hate in our world? there be fewer people telling others what they “should” do? Of course, that would be nice. We’re not entitled to have everything the way we want it.
@carrieanne
“Should”… your car cost less? groceries be cheaper? we earn more money?
Exactly!
I just read on another post, yet another "I can't believe we have to pay for cuddles". It rubs me the wrong way so much. Why does anyone think cuddles should be free? I've read the argument that it's a basic human need... yeah, well so is food and shelter; those aren't free and often not even regulated. If you do find free food and shelter, it's usually terrible quality and you're shamed for resorting to that.
Demanding free or cheap cuddles reeks of incel entitlement and suggestive that women should be in service to men.
@xelda Interesting point of view. It seems that you're saying when it comes to cuddling between men and women, only the men are benefitting from it and only men want to cuddle. That's just not really true. many women want platonic cuddling too. Why should it be free?? maybe because we cuddle with friends and lovers all the time for free so yes in a perfect world it would always be free. Just like sex is free, or having a friend to watch movies with is free too. All of that is "Free". The reasons some people have to pay someone to cuddle with them is the following: 1) You are in a relationship where you don't get any cuddles but want to get cuddling anyway: This is because most women don't want to cuddle with a guy who is already in a relationship. 2) You are extremely socially awkward, and can't even talk to women let alone make friends with one or date someone who might cuddle with you. 3) You are really unpleasant looking or unpleasant overall and no woman would willingly cuddle with you or spend time with you for free. 4) You just want to cuddle with someone and get the benefits of cuddling without all the work of dating and finding someone the old fashioned way.
Comparing cuddling to basic needs like food doesn't make sense because women need food too.
@Melancholy
It seems that you're saying when it comes to cuddling between men and women, only the men are benefitting from it and only men want to cuddle.
I'm not saying that at all. The fact that women enthusiasts are on this site at all implies that not only do we want to cuddle, but that we are not getting enough cuddles in our existing relationships... just like the men here!
It seems I didn't make it very clear in my last post, so I'll try again. Some people complain about the existence of fee-for-service cuddles; the complaints range from "it should be free" to "the cost is outrageous". It's mostly men who pay for cuddle services, and a subset of those men who complain about it. The complaints are so frequent, and often scathing, which led to this 20 page merged thread on pricing. What I'm saying is that these complaints create a toxicity towards women that devalues them.
Incel is a term coined by a group of men who are identify as "involuntarily celibate". These men commiserate about their lack of sexual activity, blame women, and are hostile and/or violent toward (mostly) women who they see as denying them sex. I've extrapolated this term to extend to cuddles, rather than limiting it to sex, because it has the same tone.
Why should it be free?? maybe because we cuddle with friends and lovers all the time for free so yes in a perfect world it would always be free. Just like sex is free, or having a friend to watch movies with is free too. All of that is "Free".
Sure, in a perfect world, a lot of things would not cost money, but none of it is exactly "free". "Free" cuddles involve putting in the time and emotional labour to develop the kind of relationship that results in mutually satisfying cuddles.
So just because we sometimes get free cuddles in some of our relationships, doesn't mean that "all cuddles should be free!" I get free dinner at my mom's, but that doesn't mean that the stranger down the street who clearly loves cooking should give me some of that delicious food because I'm hungry.
The reasons some people have to pay someone to cuddle with them is the following: 1) You are in a relationship where you don't get any cuddles but want to get cuddling anyway: This is because most women don't want to cuddle with a guy who is already in a relationship. we live in a culture that believes cuddles should only happen in romantic/sexual relationships and it's harder to overcome all those preconceived notions. Paying someone helps to avoid misunderstandings, save time and the work involved to educate and reassure a partner and potential cuddle buddies. 2) You are extremely socially awkward, and can't even talk to women people_let alone make friends with one or date someone who might cuddle with you. _Paying someone takes some of that stress off. 3) You are really unpleasant looking or unpleasant overall and no woman would willingly cuddle with you or spend time with you for free. you don't know how or don't want to change any of that. 4) You just want to cuddle with someone and get the benefits of cuddling without all the work of dating and finding someone the old fashioned way._finding and building relationships with other cuddle enthusiasts_
All perfectly valid reasons to pay for cuddling! I made some edits to make it sound less hostile toward women.
I could go on about my thoughts on why I think there's a gender difference... why there aren't more cis-women paying for cuddle services, despite having all the same reasons above as edited to be gender inclusive. They are likely scenarios for all genders... but I think this post is long enough
@xelda 👏👏👏🫶🫶🫶
What @xelda said.
I can’t believe I actually had someone inbox me about my pricing saying it can seem that I’m taking advantage of Cuddlers 😳 I charge based on cc fees, parking, weather in Minnesota can be snowy one day and slippery and icy the next. I even give very intuitive massages/breathing exercises during my sessions that leaves Cuddlers relaxed and gives them new experience.
Not only that but there are plenty of other Cuddlers who have similar pricing.
You get to charge what you want, TouchedByOna! You bring a unique set of skills to your sessions, no doubt, and you need to feel well-compensated for your work. It can be draining to hold space for others, as well as to inject loving energy, massage, and conversation. Most of us are quite grateful for all the providers who prepare, welcome, and make a heartfull difference in our lives through cuddling. Sure, there will always be complainers, but pay more attention to all the appreciators
I just thought I would share this little insight here. For 2021, roughly 35% of my gross income was deductions (CC fees, office rent, furniture, bedding, essential oils, decorations, lighting, office supplies, education, Cuddlist membership, complimentary refreshments, transportation expenses etc.) So more than a third of my rate is going to benefitting my clients and improving their experience. When I just started out, I had very little overhead other than the cost of driving and I charged $80 an hour. When you consider all of my overhead, I am profiting less than $80 per session hour on average.
@xandriarain your brilliance is endless! Thank you, that's a really helpful thing to know.
@xelda and @xandriarain Exactly! And so true! Why does the complaining continue? What is not to understand, It’s common sense logic. I think there are some who get so lonely, emotional and needy that they can’t use logic and common sense to understand their options on this site.
@carrieanne Actually common sense would dictate otherwise. I've expressed this before but everyone just ignores the basic facts. First of all I'm not complaining about pro cuddler rates. I can't anyway because they don't allow it here. So let me clear, I'm not complaining. What I'm saying is the reason others complain is because the rates don't make any sense to them. Why do you say? Let me explain. Just 5 years ago it was standard for a pro cuddler to earn $40 per hour. Before this site another site was way more popular and the pro cuddlers there charged $80 but only got half of that because the site kept the other half. So most of the pros there would see us off the site for $40 per hour or $50 per hour. Then cuddle comfort became popular because the other site was run by a jerk and this site only took 15 percent, which was much more reasonable. It also allowed for karma and messaging between clients and pros. At that time, the standard cuddling rate was $80 per hour. So the pros were getting more money than ever on this site. Now that was about 4 years ago? something like? Those pro cuddlers had the same kind of overhead that you all keep talking about. they were also great cuddlers. Most of them left or retired from cuddling but they were awesome cuddlers. Now in 4 years inflation has gone up about 20% So if cuddling rates had followed inflation that $80 should be 96 per hour. Oh I forgot to mention, pro cuddlers back then either hosted, and if they didn't host they offered an hour free if you got a hotel room. Yeah no one does that anymore but most of them did back then. So not only do most cuddlers not host anymore, they all want $120 or 150 per hour. Even the $120 is 50% higher than before...that's way more than inflation went up. and 150? that's 88 % higher.
So when ya'll lecture people about overhead and all that other stuff, it just sounds so hollow. Inflation already accounts for higher costs of everything...and on top of that most of you don't even host anymore and don't offer that extra hour for the hotel costs.
bottom line is you can charge whatever you want because apparently there's always someone willing to cough up the money and figure out a way to pay for it. Most of them don't know that it used to cost $40 or $50 per hour not too long ago....I'm sure if they did they'd think wow I'm getting ripped of. Its like gas prices....not too long ago they were crazy...not because they had to be but because they knew they could charge more and people would still pay.
So you’re saying $100 an hour is the expected rate when considering for inflation?
Well, there are many who charge that now, and some who start there and charge a bit more after. So mostly understandable from your perspective?
Something else to consider is higher demand and lower inventory. Fewer cuddlers able to stay in business, more guy’s discovering the benefits, explaining higher prices. It’s a fluctuating market. When I consider that many talk therapists charge 150+ and cuddlers can bring so much more comfort and intimacy, I feel grateful that there are cuddlers around and available
@melancholy What happened is people finally knowing their worth. Pros were undercharging severely back then.
I already make $30-$40/hr with my event labor work at my day job, which requires far less work than cuddling and zero overhead. I also often get free food, have nice coworkers to chat with, etc. Cuddling is far more laborious than my day job and requires a high level of emotional and mental focus, vs my day job where I can just turn my brain off and chill. Yeah, I am not going to charge only $40/hr. Plus with my regular job, I get far longer hours. With cuddling, it’s maybe 2 hours. Also there’s the risk of human trafficking, men groping me, trying to make me their wife, etc. As opposed to my regular job where there are security guards to protect me. It makes zero sense to charge less. I know what I’m worth, and clearly other pros also know the same. It’s the same reason you see baristas and grocery workers quitting and demanding more pay. We all know how much we are worth, now.
I wonder if there are other industries in which prices are so persistently complained about with such open hostility on forums dedicated to said industry?
I certainly complain about prices of home repairs. Seriously, the furnace repair guy charges $80 just to show up at my house before he even starts working! I wonder what would happen if I went on a home repair forum and started complaining about the guys who do home repairs, what they charge, how they look, what they wear and accuse them of taking advantage of me because I'm a woman.
@xelda And meanwhile there was a whole community of home repair “enthusiasts” looking to repair each other’s homes for free, but you just kept complaining about the prices of the professionals. 😆
@sunflowerrae 🤣🤣🤣
@sunflowerrae Ah yes, a DIY group! That might be a group that could get my stuff repaired on the cheap, but that would probably take brushing up on my social skills so that I'm the kind of person that other people might want to help, figure out how to equally contribute, maybe teaching myself some skills, listening to other people's advice when they tell me how to do things. Whew, that sounds like work.
@bobadevotee That's quite funny I've worked retail and know how hard that is which many people do for $15 per hour and that's much harder work than cuddling with someone lol being paid $80 per hour for something that's much less physically demanding than standing on your feet ringing people up at a cash register doesn't sound like being underpaid to me. I'd do it in a heart beat!! If I thought women would pay me to cuddle for $100 per hour...wow that'd be amazing
@Melancholy "Hard" work is measured in more ways than just physical. You can tell whether something is paying enough by the rate at which people stop doing it. There is pretty decent turnover in cuddling. If the pay was that much higher than what were needed for adequate compensation, people would do it forever. But it's the opposite. It's wearing, tearing, exhausting, demoralizing at times, etc.
Personally, I love it, I'll never quit 100%, as long as my people still need me, but I will seriously ramp down my intake once I don't need as much money. I will ramp up my filtering even further and only the most needed will pass through. The problem is that people out of line in any way with what I seek to offer and provide, harm my energy so much that I want to quit, but my heart goes out to the people truly in need for what I offer, they are why I do this work, that I can't ever 100% leave. I'll have to find a middle ground at some point...
Though if I am successful in that, maybe I'll be in a situation to reevaluate my rates down or at least have an official sliding rate. Point is, no pay is enough for the worst fit sessions, but if I could do it for free for those who are a good fit, I would. It's labor still, don't get me wrong, but my passion is so strong, I wish I didn't need money. 💜