@cylee1180
Does anyone else sense the irony in a thread complaining about pros messaging them first, which follows a thread about why pros don't respond to their messages?
Not in the slightest. This is how it’s supposed to work in a commercial relationship. I don’t want the massage parlor down the street to give me an unsolicited call and try to get me to book a massage. And if I call them and try to book, I want them to answer the damn phone or at least return my call.
Isn’t this pretty much everyone’s expectation with commercial services? Why would it be any different when it comes to cuddling?
@CuddleWho 💯 % again !
@JBearz : you made a valid post , i see some trying to discredit and guilt trip you, and commenting as if you asked them how they feel about it… many people on the forums vent or share certain concerns, but for some reason you’re the bad guy right now … (don’t worry, me and cuddlewho and others understand you perfectly, as well as many others who won’t chime in) … many pros here themselves agree with you.
P.s. - A main complaint we see In The forums is guys expressing frustration and internalizing hurt that they do their best to connect with female enthusiats , they are immediately vilified without a second thought and this is without regard if they are new here, (yes this topic has come up countless of time but they shouldn’t inherit or aren’t responsible for the fact that it has been brought up other times, they are just sharing their feelings at the moment ..
Now think how they feel when all of a sudden they get the red pm alert with pros asking if they would like for them to book out of nowhere ?!?! Whatever happened to them being dangerous and this and that and the third … now it makes them feel like they are only worthy if they pay a booking … guys stop making things about you, step out of your frame for a second and see things from others perspective!! Literally this post wasn’t about you not having a problem with it or caring, it was about them and how they feel and maybe whoever’s doing it is able to see it now from another lense.
This is the last comment I will share on this post, blessings and love to all you wonderful people as always 🌌
I feel as an established presence, and occasional good will ambassador, it's nice to reach out to shy new people, especially if they're hanging out on my page daily. Sometimes they won't respond but continue to drop by and stare silently. 🤷 Awkward. I also have a small tribe of people who send one word greetings every few days. Anyone can sign up here, and there's plenty of off-putting messages to go around.
@CuddleWho 👍 👍
@biancalovecraft that is a very positive mindset, thank you
I really didn’t get much from this thread. I think people forget that we are all human beings and it’s not about what happens to you but how you react. Because there will always be something you don’t like but maybe someone else does.
especially if they're hanging out on my page daily. Sometimes they won't respond but continue to drop by and stare silently. 🤷
I keep saying they should put in an incognito mode 🙄
I love when pros message me. Just don’t offer that virtual nonsense. I’m here to wrestle. I also stare awkwardly at peoples pages apparently lol. It is what it is. I’m reading comments and looking at pics. Nothing personal! It’s not that deep.
@JBearz said: "There is a massive difference between
"hey, I would really love to cuddle with you some time" And "Hey, I will cuddle you for only 100/hr, I am available tomorrow and the next day, you can host or I can"
I actually don't see the difference, if the end goal in both cases is they're trying to make money off of you. Actually, #1 is probably worse. I'd rather have someone be up front from the start about what they want rather than act like they want to be my friend just because and then hit me with the sales pitch after they've "reeled me in." If you ever join a multi-level marketing scheme like Amway, they'll teach you that you have to strike up conversation with strangers in public with the goal of recruiting them for your "down line." This often happens at magazine racks. Whenever someone starts talking to me by the magazines, I immediately reply with "Amway, right?" :-)
I wont mind pro approaching me proactively. We get so many cold calls, emails, text messages, flyers and all we do is either ignore or look into if something is of our interest. If such messages benefits the pro (care giver) and the receiver then its win-win for both of them. Sorry if i am saying something against the norms of this site. Just my 2 cents.
Edited for privacy.
I am fine with pros striking up a conversation, had some nice chats..... but the below is just flat out gross:
A pro reached out to me who I had not visited their profile and wrote:
"“When we touch – cuddle, hug, or holding hands – our bodies release “feel good” hormones. These hormones include oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. Once the hormones are released into our bodies we experience feelings of happiness, relaxation, improve mood, and lower levels of depression”.
Good afternoon 🌞 When would you be available to schedule a cuddling session?"
She was still on for awhile, then got banned.... not surprised.
@SnuggleBugleBug if those words were on a profile would you find those words gross? Or just because it was in a message? Because many professionals profiles have these words in it. It’s pretty much cut and pasted from various Google definitions.
Personally I don’t find any of it gross.
Insects are gross but those words nah.
@CuddleDuncan Help me understand. Why would a pro initiating contact be a problem?
I like how @SSRequiescence put it , if someone visits your page and you give a friendly hello its kind of a friendly thing to do without being pushy
@bigben thank you 🥹
I just read the contract for professionals. Not being allowed to initiate contact makes no sense to me. We're all adults. We should be able to talk freely with each other and like all communication, if someone says they're not interested, then you stop contacting them. Anything after that would be a problem. I put a blanket "authorization statement" in my profile for professionals, so their contact with me won't "break the rules." Whoever moderates the site should let me know ASAP if I've broken any rules. I'm almost certain I have not.
As a pro I have done both. Message those who have viewed my page. Mainly just a hi let me know if you have any questions. I have also messaged enthusiast as well BUT If I message an enthusiast it’s because I’m in the area and looking for a cuddle I also let them know up front since I’m the one reaching out NO charges in those cases. I personally disagree with what is basically cold calling with messages to stir up business.
@cuddler5617 agree with what you said.
@BClarkIV
Not being allowed to initiate contact makes no sense to me
Unsolicited commercial messages are one of the biggest problem with the internet as a whole. The only reason email is remotely usable nowadays is because the handful of big email providers left spend lots of time and money detecting and removing spam.
Any online platform that doesn’t have strong policies against spam will be overrun by it. This is especially true on social sites that are oriented around making connections between men and women - the large majority of matches I get on dating apps are accounts trying to get me to pay for sexual content (sometimes they are bots, sometimes they are actual women). I get a constant stream of women on Snapchat connecting and trying to get me to subscribe to their OnlyFans.
It’s extremely bothersome and in some cases it completely ruins a platform. Banning unsolicited commercial messages is absolutely necessary for a platform like this.
@CuddleWho
Hell yeah, look at this! We fully agree on something. 🤗 Twas a cold a day in hell. I'm teasing you. If the site allowed rampant solicitation guys inboxes here would be overfilled with "pros" linking you to their OFs, paid Snapchat subscriptions etc. It would piss off a lot of already disgruntled members here who are struggling to meet other enthusiasts.
If you welcome the cold calls, that's great! But the vast majority here do not as you can tell from the various topics of members complaining about pros even being active here. How often do you see members complain about the lack of pros cold messaging them with solicitations? Never.
@CuddleWho @Rezz @Cuddler5617 A few things:
My list could be much longer with the problem with the logic of the policy, not to mention the many ways to get around it, but I'll stop here. I'm new here and I don't want to be put on "timeout."
I don't mind. Sometimes using the filter doesn't always get you everybody in your area. As long as they say more than hey or hello and at least looks like they read my profile. Sometimes when I go through all the pros or all the enthusiasts, I find someone who's been on here for a couple years that doesn't show up on my filter.
@Rezz Awesome! Actually I think we're usually at least sort of on the same page, even if we disagree on the details.
When a non-pro contacts a non-pro, even though money isn't involved, isn't that an "unsolicited commercial message?"
No? Do you know the meaning of the word "commercial"? If money isn't involved, it isn't commercial. Why does this need to be explained?
Non-pros can send "spam' messages "linking you to their OFs, paid Snapchat subscriptions etc."
Yeah, that's also against the rules...
Aren't their people here whos "inboxes [get] overfilled" with messages from non-pros?
I suppose, and maybe that's it's own issue, but when it's people trying to make money off others, it becomes a completely different scale.
Honestly, I don't think this is really a matter of opinion, it's been repeatedly demonstrated on one online platform after another for 25 years. If platforms don't actively fight spam, it'll take over.
Yeah it doesn't bother me so much that once a week or so I get a salesy message from a pro. It's not a big deal. But if it were 10 or 15 or 20 a day, every day, day after day after day, yes it would be a pretty big pain in the ass and I'd probably just quit the site, along with most other men. This is what's so absurd about those of you saying things like "just message them back and tell them you're not interested..." The only reason responding to the spam you receive here is even feasible is because you don't get much spam, and the reason you don't get much spam is because it's against the rules!
@CuddleWho You do realize that there are people here who probably get "10 or 15 or 20 a day, every day, day after day" messages from non-pros? I could phrase it sarcastically or as insultingly as you did, but I won't, but the points I think you're missing are:
Since you're new here let me help.
The site started as a strictly enthusiasts site. Pros were added later. The whole purpose was for people to connect and cuddle without the exchange of money. So yes, cold messaging between enthusiasts is to be expected and always has been.
If you have anyone here is sending you their porn links and you're welcoming that type of interaction, then you're both breaking the rules.
There's a huge difference between you visiting my profile and me sending a friendly message thanking you for visiting and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to reach out.
versus
Cold messaging random people who have never visited your profile with
This is my availability, these are my rates ,when do you want to book?
Its presumptuous to assume everyone here is looking to give you money. There's tons of free creative ways to advertise yourself without being a spamming vulture.
Hope this helps.
That is kind of odd (even coming from a pro). There are times I’m just logging in and checkin messages and see a picture that catches my eye and click on their profile and see I have things in common with that person. I’ve messaged first once because I saw someone was a gamer and I’m all for having more gamer friends but I guess since I’m a pro maybe they thought it was sketchy. I’m unsure. 🥴
@Rezz Yes. That is helpful! And it gets back to the point of being a (mature) adult. Pros and non-pros should know how to approach people in a respectful way, IF (and I do mean IF) their intentions are ethical; otherwise, you get the kind of messages from pros and non-pros that aren't wanted by anyone. You gave great examples of the right way and the wrong way to initially contact someone.
@BClarkIV Alright man, I get it, you like spam and want more of it. Most people find advertising in general fairly annoying, and when it's sent directly to their inbox they especially hate it, but you're into it. I guess there's no opinion so weird that someone on the Internet doesn't have it.
A few pro tips:
Make sure to disable the spam filter on your email. If you use gmail this is actually tricky, but here are some instructions that should help.
Make sure you're not on the national Do Not Call List. Check that here. Don't want to miss out on any telemarketers.
Right now FCC rules prohibit text messages sent by autodialers without consent. You probably still get a few (I definitely do), but just think how many spam texts you're missing out on because of this pesky rule. Call your representative and tell them how much you hate this rule!
And to the more pertinent point regarding policies in general. If you think hard enough, there's a way to work around any policy ever developed by humanity.
Uh. Yeah. So why have any law or rule ever, right? Clearly they're all pointless, since they can all be worked around.
Good grief.
@CuddleWho There's no point in having a battle of wits with an unarmed man, so I'll stop. The bottom line is that if someone contacts you and you don't want or like the way they've interacted with you, block them...pro or non-pro. Problem solved.