I am usually pretty lonely and have been for much of my life but I am feeling especially down as we approach Christmas and the New Year. I can’t seem to connect with anybody and i fee like the only way I can receive compassion, regard or affection is to pay for it. I feel like I am in the pit of despair and I can’t find any way to climb out of it. I don’t know why I am feeling especially alone now, but this is really becoming unbearable. I have a work/vacation trip coming up in early January and thank God for that because otherwise I have nothing to look forward to. I’m so tired and just want the pain to end.