You just don’t know the areas your tongue can clean until you mirror mime with your dog.
Here’s one for the Cuddle Comfort disillusioned:
I hope death is a female enthusiast. That way death will never come for me.
(A twist on an old joke)
Growing up we were very poor so mom used to cut holes in our pockets so we would have something to play with.
Pockets? You were lucky. We used to dreeeeaaaam of pockets. We were so poor we had to make do with just 'oles.
On speaking of last nights homework, I told my students "like a child playing in the street, let's go over this quickly and precisely."
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
Loll @CatGirlColorado
When I hear sarcasm:
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
How do you punish a Gen Z kid?
Send them outside to play and socialize.
We have two lives. The second one begins when we realize we only have one.
@FunCartel keep’em coming! 😆
Confucious say panties are not the best thing in the world but next to it.
Why did the sarcastic chicken cross the road?
To get to the other snide.
What is the difference between Paul Walker and Queen Elizabeth’s deaths?
Paul Walker hit 100 before dying
The perfect cuddle buddy does exist!
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1312276532/loving-bear-puffy-friend-pillow-hug-body?zanpid=10723_1674069698_6db727c30670c88305d05bddc503cde2&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=affiliate_window&utm_campaign=eu_buyer&utm_content=349185&awc=10723_1674069698_6db727c30670c88305d05bddc503cde2
@lonelytauros Both are hilarious and kinda true. LOL. Tho I've met two guys that were obviously surprised to find out women aren't interchangeable. Not bad guys; they just really did not know.
@CatGirlColorado I AM that cat. Lol.
@achetocuddle wait a minute…they’re not?!
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