My first thought when I read the discussion title was "Who hasn't experienced rejection on this site?" It is frustrating and disappointing but inevitable. As @homeboy wisely said, "Why in the world would I want to hang out with someone who has rejected me?" What I find frustrating is when people say they are interested but then they don't follow through. I get the sense they want to cuddle with me but they're not ready or they're not sure of themselves. Whatever the case, until they're a yes, they're a no. All I can do is move on. C'est la vie, c'est la guerre, c'est la pomme de terre!
Aww! Unless someone is super pervy- I don't turn people away! Everyone needs hugs...
Bluntly, if you have a super hard time dealing emotionally with not hearing back from people, online is not the place for you. No one is obligated to respond to a first message, and as I have noted elsewhere, it's impossible for someone to know how a stranger is going to react to a rejection note. Could be anything from "Okay, thanks" to rage and harassment.
Okay, here's my new updated take. I wonder how people message anyone in life looking at these comments? While I agree there is a personal aspect to CC this isn't a dating site. A perspective change may be in order as to responses? While I think my previous post still applies in several ways I'm kinda like... how are we living here? The expectations are so high and almost to a extent that its nearly abuse. At least that's what I'm getting from 1/2 the comments here. The resentment is real and while I'm not trying to squash anyone's valid emotions people are SURE putting a lot on people they don't even know. I'm not saying all the posts reflect this but it seems to me several do. Almost aggressively.
Yeah have been rejected here and it's okay. Sometimes things are just not meant to happen
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I've never been rejected by a beer. Sorry, I couldn't resist after somebody told me that I mention beer a lot.
Sometimes I get no response. I’m assuming the accounts are fake. I’ve cuddled with the best!
My outbox would be lonely if it weren't for all the unresponded to messages.
Not getting a message from an interwebs stranger does not equal rejection nor is it ghosting
A better question would be "is there anyone whp has not experienced rejection from this site?"
I may have a bunch of first messages that have been ignored, but I also have some that have turned into real actual friendships and that’s more than worth all the rejection.
There are just too many reasons people don't message so it's hard to take it personally. Sometimes I just look at profiles while I peruse these discussion boards. I'm muted so not messaging with anyone but previous contacts.
But I would hope someone seeing I looked but didn't message wouldn't see it as a form of rejection. Even prior to being muted, I had people look at my profile but not message. I didn't feel any way about it because I just like to randomly scroll profiles sometimes too 🤷
Once I got a response from someone saying no and then lol. Didn't know if the lol was to soften the blow? or to suggest I had to be kidding, ha ha. Not long afterward they got banned.
Occasionally I send a message to someone that I expect to be rejected by and they do reject me. My curiosity overrides everything else once in a while. And it always feels good to me to know that I successfully sized someone up.
Sometimes I get surprised by how many nice responses I get from sending the first message. Lots of people here wish you well even if you are not what they are looking for. To me it's all interesting; certainly not something to be upset about. It is also rather unfair to a fellow human to read too much into a lack of response.
@ohnonotagain LOL. @Mike403 I've never been rejected by a good book and usually do not get rejected by dogs.
@achetocuddle - Somebody once responded to me with "ew.". It wasn't on this site. It was a dating site. People suck. They don't have to reply at all if they're not interested.
I didn’t read the many comments, so I probably am not adding much to the conversation here but I guess I would just simply say why should this site be any different than life in general? - Full of successes and failures. Acceptance and rejection. Positive and negative.
I’ve put a ton of time, energy and thought into creating what I’m always told is a great profile, I have 5 great karma reviews, and yet 90% of my outgoing messages a woman go without any response whatsoever.
That’s the nature of online.
All it takes is ONE great connection to change your life.
@WestsideMarc Regarding "All it takes is ONE great connection"; that's it in a nutshell. That is why I stay and all the other stuff doesn't matter. @Mike403 Sometimes people do indeed suck, Lol. And I still remember that awful "ew" comment you received. Just so unnecessary...smh.
@achetocuddle - Yeah, I don't do dating sites anymore. The lack of my ability to communicate effectively makes me destined to fail. So I just focus on school, the only thing I am good at.
@mike403 I think I remember what @achetocuddle is talking about and the only 'ew' is what that person said to you. They are the 'ew'. I didn't see you mentioned it again. You mentioned it on another thread and it leaves an impression so I can see why you bring it up again. That was such a mean thing for them to say. I see no 'ew' when it comes to you. Them on the other hand.
@stormydaycuddle - It happened years ago, but it stung so much that I still remember it like it just happened yesterday. It makes me not understand why guys don't like it when they don't get a response. It hurts much less than being presented with reasons(rude or not) why they are not interested.
@mike403 I was going to leave this as a DM but I think other people need to see it too. I'd argue that the person saying 'ew' to you did give you an unacceptable, cruel and just plain wrong response. Maybe that person should have kept their mouth shut instead of unnecessarily giving you trauma. I left out the swear word I used in the dm. lol.
What I try to do on this website (as well as others) is just go in expecting nothing. Like has been stated before, nobody owes anyone a response (though I'd hope if a session was booked, that there would be clear communication for it all to go smooth), and sometimes people just disappear, forget to check things, fall asleep, have an emergency, don't know what to say at the moment and may or may not think of something later, or any number of reasons. Or yes they may not be interested. All you can do is extend yourself out with something friendly written, hope it goes well, but don't expect or be attached to receiving a response. Just move on and do something else or message someone else if you want. That way you'll hopefully not be disappointed or let down, but if you get a kind response it's a happy surprise. That being said, I view more profiles than I actually message first since I can be shy at first or not know what to say other than a generic hello. I do however usually respond to messages that someone else initiates.
I don't consider myself to have had rejection from someone I dont know, so its hard to feel bad when someome isnt interested in chatting and I dont even know then to begin with. I dont consider someone not responding to a message as something to feel bad over. There is zero expectation of someone to be responsible for my happiness but me . There are times when you might be chatting on here and hanging out etc and then simply falling off the map, but often times it isnt due to anything, cant take it perosnal . Life happens . Sometimes casual relationships have to take a backseat to other priorities. I know I do the same thing myself. I'm not always good at keeping in touch or having a consistent amount of time and energy to commit to somebody. I know that it is likely confusing and hurtful to some , and I regret that. It is something that I am trying to be better with because I love my friends and connections I make. Regardless of context and intensity are all very meaningful to me .
Yes. Rejection. Ghosting. Often.
I've just been rejected/ghosted after we suppose to meet for coffee. He requested a pic but I don't share my pic digitally and was vague when asked to describe myself. I understand looks is a big deal but talking about how I look makes me uncomfortable. 🤷🏾♀️
I don't discriminate based on physical appearances. Maybe it sounds weird but being judged on looks and weight my entire life has made me see things differently. Now add in tattoos and piercings lol. What matters is what you think/say/feel! & If you make me feel uncomfortable or act like a total scumbag, that's when I ghost or report...
As a pro I get tons of rejection, often It’s because the client wants nonplatonic services but it still bums me out because I want more people who are actually looking for an honest cuddle therapist.
@xandriarain While I love your posts and your take on cuddling in general...
Cuddle Therapist... Lets dive deeper into why that is problematic here:
*The site doesn't follow hippa (and doesn't need to).
*As a therapist you are liable for anything you say, don't say and are obligated to keep records...
*Mods CAN see the messages which puts a therapist in breech of hippa...
*There are incredibly strict guidelines on sites that are portals to mental health professionals.
*I understand wanting that legitimacy but through CC by saying you're a cuddle therapist but ah... a lot of law breaking is going on by the therapist to book through this site, report incidents (to people who are not law enforcement) , vent, post., karma etc.
*In general its misleading and unfair to the client to have them be a quazi patient.
Therapist who cuddles.... AWESOME. Cuddle Therapist booking through CC.... eeeek. Liability is the word of the day.
It would be WONDERFUL to have a site with only cuddle therapists. This isn't that site. And by trying to make it that way... seems like a lot of trouble with the law I'd probably skip personally.
@stormydaycuddle I never claimed to be a licensed mental health therapist, or an LPC. There are all kinds of therapists. Our field is still unregulated and not legally bound by HIPPA. Although I do keep client confidentiality (client being someone who actually books a session with me) I will report people who solicit me to the moderators because they are a danger to the community and are not my clients.
I actually made a video a while back addressing the controversy of using the term cuddle therapist: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRWkBREj/
A better way to have phrased what I originally said was it is frustrating when there are not that many clients who want to cuddle platonically, which is exactly what the site is supposed to be for because they explicitly prohibit non platonic activities and behavior.
@stormydaycuddle this website isn't only for people in the U.S., so there are many for whom HIPAA would not apply. And HIPAA would only be kicking in if the medical provider were sharing protected medical information, not talking about themselves, their own experiences, etc. Medical practitioners are in fact allowed to have social lives and opinions, including online.
"Therapist" is not a legally protected term in the U.S., nor in many countries, and there are many kinds of therapists who are not medically trained nor licensed by governments.
Yes, liability issues are important to consider, but I think we should worry more about our own liability by carrying adequate liability insurance and making sure we are complying with local business laws rather than worrying about other practitioners online.