Can I point out the obvious here? The reason the OP got cuddles is not because she put herself out there, or because she made contact with people prior to her trip, or because she changed her location, no, the reason she got cuddles is because she is a woman and women here can get cuddles pretty much any time they want or anywhere they go. The OP could’ve gone to Timboktu and a bunch of locals would’ve reached out for cuddles if she was open to them 😁 All the advice the OP gave here doesn’t apply to all the men here and I know because I’ve done all of it and I haven’t gotten cuddles as a result. There’s a reason we get so many threads with guys complaining about not being able to get cuddles and believe me, is not because we’re not doing the things the OP posted here. Most of the men here rarely get cuddles and if we do we have to pay a pro to do it and I’m glad they exist otherwise we wouldn’t get cuddles at all.
Isn't it interesting that so many women complain about being in relationships where they don't get enough cuddling & affection, but then the number of available female cuddlers here is so low.
@mellow - as one of the people the OP was talking about in her initial post, I have to respectfully disagree with you. Sunset and I spent months getting to know each other by PM and a voice call after I PM’d her in response to a thread she started a couple months ago.
We were both planning to be in the same city at the same time but neither of us would have known that if we had not developed a friendship before we both went on our individual trips. When she and I began talking months ago, neither of us really expected to actually get to meet each other in person because we live 2 time zones away from each other. One of her points was to make friends on here because you never know when an opportunity will present itself to meet.
I do partially agree with you, I believe in general a woman could find “A” cuddle partner easier than a man, but that is different than a woman finding someone she WANTS to cuddle. Getting to know someone takes time, it is an investment. Not every investment will “pay off” if your definition of success is physical cuddles. But if your goal is genuine human connection that MAY lead to cuddling, then everything Sunset said above is 100% accurate.
@cylee1180 I'm not familiar with any of those, even though I've watched lots of Latin dancing, haha!
@Wake2525 That is interesting. I would imagine it has to do with most women being more apt to cuddle within a relationship than outside of it, but that's just a guess.
@JohnR1972 Thank you for sharing. You are wonderful!
@mellow There are certainly more males than females on this site, and the odds are in our favor. But as you can see from my pictures, I am not a traditionally attractive or skinny girl. I will not appeal to most men, so I don't believe that being female was the reason I got cuddles.
Even other females (and Pro's) were impressed with the amount of cuddles I was able to jam-pack into a two-week visit to another state, and I attribute this to me actively seeking friendships and taking a high initiative. You say you've done everything I mentioned in my original post, but I wonder if you have put in the effort I have to reach out? I'm looking at the short length of your profile, the fact that you have zero pictures of yourself, and very importantly, that you've only posted twice on this message board since 2018. I have made it my goal to be active on this board, to reach out to people, and to message many of them. What is your idea of many? Mine is 250 individuals. I have 25 pages of PM's on this site, not because they PM'd a female, but because I reached out to them. I write the vast majority of first messages; in fact, my PM privileges were throttled, my first week here. The messages that I receive out of the blue are typically from people who write to specifically compliment me on my contributions to the message board.
I think the best thing I can do though, is say this...you state that men here rarely get cuddles and have to pay Pro's for it...but what about the 10 men that cuddled me for free, during my time in Colorado? They have success stories they could have shared. I just happened to be the one outgoing enough to share my story. And I just happen to be female. But those ten men cuddling a female for free, who was happy to cuddle them because we had all built a friendship beforehand, can testify to the success that is available, if you're willing to put in the time, be vulnerable, and build the friendships. I wish you the best of luck, and feel free to reach out to me in PM, anytime.
~ Sunset Snuggles
@mellow It's ridiculously easy for women to meet with men on the internet, that is true, I don't think anyone is arguing against that. But what I've learned on this forum is that they can very easily have a bad time or dangerous time if they aren't careful. it's a challenge for many to find a good cuddle partner, male or female.. I think the way people vet their cuddlers or approach cuddling in general has a big impact here. So in this way, @SunsetSnuggles post does help men too, but it doesn't apply quite as directly for us. Because obviously you can't make friends with anyone if you message 50 people but they all ignore you or ghost you haha . For advice that would apply more directly to men, I'd look for @CuddleDuncan's post.
I think that @SunsetSnuggles post is the other side of @CuddleDuncan's guide. That any female enthusiast that has had issues should look to her approach as a guide.
@Wake2525 It's generally easier for women to get into a relationship if they are single for those types that try to meet their cuddle needs through romantic relationships. That might explain it.That, and meeting strangers on the internet is scarier for women.
@SunsetSnuggles Perhaps your name should be sunsetstruggles since you've found the beautiful sunset but you've had to work for it.
@mellow I think what is obvious is that you did not put in all, if any, of the work that @SunsetSnuggles put in. I get the impression that you think cuddlers owe you something, which if course they absolutely don't. It is very rare that you can go directly from A to Z. There is a lot of squiggly things in between and you have to prepare, plan, practice, put into action and be persistent. @SunsetSnuggles did that to perfection and she succeeded. I know it was hard work for her but she did the work.
Love this! Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts. You’re awesome! 🤗
Will this topic ever end? We revisit it over and over again.
What is the point of complaining? It does not accomplish anything.
The concept of the site is great; the practical execution is not so easy for men OR women.
Pay attention to what works for others. Put forth your best effort. Work with what you’ve got.
@SunsetSnuggles Just read your initial post. What an awesome experience you’ve had and kudos to you for being open to those experiences. This I’m sure is just the beginning of a wonderful cuddle future and also amazing personal growth. Couldn’t be happier did you!
@sunnysideup Agreed, CuddleDuncan's posts have some excellent advice for men that I certainly can't speak to! Thank you for your kind words about my post!
@Btown Gosh I miss you, buddy! Thank you for being your sweet self, and for making me feel seen.
@joey012616 Much appreciated!!
@Babichev It seems the gender complaints always crop up due to new people coming in and having certain expectations. Men and women will certainly face different challenges, here, but I'm with you, I wish it were handled with a spirit of helping each other succeed rather than lashing out.
@blisscuddles Thanks so very much! It has been an exercise in personal growth, indeed.
How am I just now seeing this post? Love this!
Beautiful post 🫶🏾
@SunsetSnuggles Thank you so much for shooting me the link to your post. So much helpful and relevant information. It's been wonderful connecting with you and others here, even if we don't live in the same area💕
@SunsetSnuggles
I'm going to vouch for you that your work here pays off, you were super kind to me the last few weeks, checking up on me out of kindness even though there were no plans to cuddle.
It's true she put the work into this, she has been very friendly to everyone here while building relationships which seemed to work out well.
I am really glad to see this post, I appreciate everything you wrote about your wonderful experiences. There’s so much valuable information in your experiences. And I’m so impressed with how you invested so much in the process of meeting people, becoming friends and traveling and cuddling groups and individuals! You seem like an amazing person, based on your posts and I’m really happy for you! 😊🤗
So awesome I remember my first cuddle I felt felt likebmy heart melted with the positivity snd kindness this worlds has to offer
This is fantastic information. Exactly what I was searching for. Thanks so much for your authenticity!
Great post!
the reason she got cuddles is because she is a woman
Disagree, I joined this site back in April and so far I have met only 2 men who were genuine in their approach and who SHOWED UP to cuddle with me.😊
Others I have rejected or kept my guard up with because they gave me vibes of "expecting more then just cuddling" within their first message. So no I disagree that my gender had anything to do with my being taken seriously as a cuddle partner. 😏
and women here can get cuddles pretty much any time they want or anywhere they go
Lol! Where is the memo that says this nonsense, cuz I clearly missed it back in 2022.😆
Yeah, I don't want to be cuddled everywhere I go...For example, no cuddling at my job. Bosses don't care much for kind of "attention " at my job. And I definitely don't be cuddled while going to the bathroom, for obvious reasons. And while standing in line at the grocery store, not interested in cuddling either, just want to pay for groceries and head on home. So this "women can get cuddles wherever we go" is bogus whiny nonsense.😆
Very inspiring!
@SunsetSnuggles That is wonderful! Thank you for sharing your journey! Yesterday, Michelle and I had an amazing afternoon with @HarleyGirlKate, where she shared with us one of her favorite local spots - a breathtaking State Park. Good conversation, hugs and all joined together just staring at magnificent Redwoods and a beautiful river. Cuddle buddies make the best friends! 🤗
I've yet to experience a group cuddle so that is extremely high on my bucket list!
General rule of the Internet:
If heterosexual and trying to meet people of the opposite gender (platonically or not), men will struggle with quantity of connections, women with quality.
Effectively, it ends up mostly a wash because while men may have to wait months to connect at all, the quality/compatibility of their connections will generally be higher when they do connect. Meanwhile, women may get a lot of low quality/compatibility connections faster, but it may still take them quite some time to weed through the proverbial muck.
This disparity generally disappears/changes if operating outside the gender and sexuality norms. Gay men tend to have a much easier time connecting with other gay men. Bi and trans folks tend to have a lot of low quality connections flooding in due to being fetishized, or a complete lack of them because of misconceptions.
(Note: this is speaking in very broad generalities and differs in smaller, more homogeneous communities.)
@cuddlefaery My observations as a moderator suggest that there is basis for that general impression.
Also, on a personal level, it took me a while to start connecting here, but the great majority of connections I've made with women are very high-quality connections.
@SunsetSnuggles love this