How do you all deal with being rejected?
Get used to it. Almost all non-celebrity men who are regularly soliciting women in a reasonably direct way will rack up a lot of rejections. At some point you learn to let it wash over you; rejection 137 should sting a lot less than rejection 4.
Don't emotionally invest in anyone early on. You'll drive yourself crazy if you get too attached to a person or to an outcome with a person early on.
Get rejected less often. This is the hard one. But you don't have to bring it down completely. A rejection rate of 99% will be tough to handle regardless of #1 and #2. But a rejection rate of 90% is alright; you can make that work.
Yeah I just hate that I get emotionally attached . Its so tempting to insult them but I just cant do that.
Way back in high school a very popular guy who I befriended gave me some good, but harsh advice. He said that there were two types of guys. The type that would shoot their shot to many girls and not care much what the response was, and the type that would shoot his shot only at a girl he really liked, and would be devastated when he was rejected. Generally the first type had his choice of women, and the second type only was successful if he was incredibly lucky in his first few clumsy attempts.
@jimboslice5014
Yeah I just hate that I get emotionally attached .
Yeah don't do that. Unless you've been spending time regularly with someone for quite a while, you can't be too hung up on them.
Its so tempting to insult them but I just cant do that.
If you feel tempted to insult them something is wrong with your mentality here. This is like a 13 year old's line of thinking.
I flop on the floor kicking my feet, waving my hands and banging my head on the floor.
Rejection is now my middle name.
Because someone says no to you, you get an itch to insult them?? That’s not okay dude. No one owes you an answer or a cuddle. Drop that mentality real quick. I have zero sympathy for someone that has that incel mentality of “I’m a nice guy. She’s a bitch cuz she said no to me”… not okay….
@jimboslice5014 For us, the lessons of this particular space can be difficult
wanting to insult someone because they rejected you is kind of scary..sounds like there’s a lot of inner work and healing you need to do
@1_teddybear Please elaborate on what you mean by "...would shoot his shot...."
Ladies and gentlemen anytime someone cries, bitches and nearly needs a diaper change in the forums because we didn't respond to their message, just read this quote. This is a mentality that nearly every woman I know has experienced. Especially here.
Rejection is part of life. Resorting to insults shows a serious lack of self-control.
@TxTom on the off chance that you really don't already know what I meant, it means to ask her out on a date
Why would you want to insult someone who tells you that either they are not interested, you're not compatible for each other, or they are not able to give you what you are looking for, for whatever reason?
Why would you want to force someone unwillingly to spend time with you? Do you truly think you could enjoy spending time with them knowing they didn't want to be there?
Why would you want someone to fake being interested in you rather than be honest with you? Wouldn't you feel used if they weren't actually interested but were just telling you what you wanted to hear for some other motive?
If your sister/daughter/friend/cousin told you about rejecting someone and them reacting like you, what would you think?
Why do you feel that rejection is personal? Who in your life has rejected you and made you feel insecure, unloved, and unwanted? Who are you really needing to direct that anger towards? What past hurt have you not healed or forgiven in order to allow you to move on?
You mention getting emotionally attached and then they reject you - are we talking that you get emotionally attached before ever meeting them face-to-face? Or are these rejections happening with people you've been interacting with in-person?
How long does it take you to get emotionally attached - and more importantly why do you feel like your feelings entitle you to reciprocation? Are your feelings only transactional - meaning you can only care about someone if they care back equally?
I agree @Rezz. I think the problem with whiny men as you describe is this overall push to have men be more effeminate and in touch with their feelings. Instead of just toughing out a little rejection, men today are acting out emotionally like high school drama queens.
@Rezz thank you for saying what often needs to be said yet nobody will, you totally beat me to the punch . I am not a fan of pity parties, and we seem to have about a half dozen or more a day in there here parts
@CuddleWho this is another time you and I have agreed on something mark it on your calendar
@1_teddybear I thought I might have, but I really didn't. I genuinely try not to water down the bulk of my forum posts with useless banter.
@Rezz @TxTom I disagree. It is because people have been told for so long to shove feelings down and ignore them rather than learn to process and handle them in a healthy manner that we see comments like this. People are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again if they lack the self-awareness to recognize patterns of cause and effect. Feelings are not masculine or feminine - they are human.
Dear Jimbo, It is a concern (and should be to you also) that you feel tempted to insult them. There is more than a little chance that feeling this way (regardless of how it came to be) is showing thru even in written words. Part of the solution will be to examine yourself and find what you can do to be a human that other humans want to know. I don't claim to have all the answers. It can help to practice being the person that can attract others. Being nice to every person you meet IRL, trying to imagine what it's like to be other people having hard times and being a sympathetic ear to them. It will take time. Try to be more like the people you would like to spend time with.
If I am feeling mentally healthy that day I remember the motto from a crappy door to door sales job sales job I had “no means next” Or what my mentors told me: that if someone rejects me it has more to do with them than it does with me and I shouldn’t take it personally.
If I’m not in a good place mentally I tend to internalize it and wonder why everyone hates me, what I did or said wrong and just stew in anxiety and depression all day.
Rejection just means that that person, place or thing wasn't for me. Something else will be; it's OK.
@xandriarain may I ask how often you encounter rejection?
I will go out on a limb here and bet that @xandriarain and rejection seldom cross paths.
@1_teddybear well my primary form of rejection that I encounter these days is through potential clients or existing . I generally don’t consider it rejection if they are looking for nonplatonic services or simply can’t afford them, or live too far etc. But if they are genuinely looking for cuddle therapy and decided not to work with me, I do consider that rejection.
In the past when I was single and dating, I definitely faced my fair share of rejection.
Also, when it comes to friendships, I’ve faced a lot of rejection. I was a social outcast growing up and I was lucky to have one or two friends at any given time. Unfortunately, having a pretty face doesn’t erase the fact that I am neurodivergent so I’ve always had my social struggles. I like to think that I have more social skills now than I did when I was younger, but there are still moments where I slip up in social situations.
Rejection is part of life. All of us have gone through it. Time is the best healer. Universe has some amazing things awaiting for you to move on. Move on, you deserve better.
Cuddle therapy
@xandriarain Thank you for your candor.
Insulting someone for rejecting you is the equivalent of a child screaming and crying because mom said “no I can’t buy you a toy today” If you feel hurt, hurting someone else isn’t the answer.
@jimboslice5014 one thing you should do when you face rejection is channel the frustration you feel into a hobby. I don't know the situation you're implying, but I just know that rejection in most any situation can have a lasting effect of agitation and make one ponder their worth. Find a creative outlet for those feelings. Dive into something constructive you can do with your time. Do it so that you keep your mind occupied and don't stay in your head. Do it also to replace those feelings related to rejection with a rewarding sense of accomplishment. But what you don't do in any way is lash out at someone just for not sharing what you feel.
So I want to stress something. I never insulted the person that rejected me. I found it so frustrating at the time and I still took the high road. Also she made me believe something was possible between us .
We are all entitled to our feelings as long as we do not act upon it . Also for all the people saying Im a “whiny little bitch “ is very insensitive because I was able to control my urges and keep it respectful. So dont assume or you make a complete a jerk of yourself.
Lastly for all the people who think its easy to not have feelings should not even be commenting. Its easier to judge instead of having empathy. While some of you are pros, Im not going to lie but charging $200 an hour is not worth it at all . You are clearly in it for the money and nothing more .
@jimboslice5014 - there is a thread to voice your opinion and complaints about Pros and pricing, and that's not in this forum. Go to Professional Cuddling forum, and the post near the top: "Why is there such a disparity in price? (Price Mega Thread)". [-Sid]
Rejection on this site is easy to handle because it takes the form of preemptive ghosting. In other words, there is no reply to my overture. I usually figure there are too many things going on in her life or I'm outside her preferred age range. The screening process doesn't matter to me a bit. It's impersonal.
IRL, I've learned to read the room. You can learn who is receptive by reading body language and having some situational awareness. Don't hit on someone trying on wedding dresses or at a funeral.