I find hand holding to be very intimate, in that it feels to me like it requires, and reassures us of, a great deal of trust.
It is something I make my boundaries clear on.
I wondered if that was a “me” thing, or if others here felt that way too.
It varies. I've definitely heard of couples who have agreed to reserve that kind of intimacy for their relationship.
I considered reserving it at first, but my boyfriend was fine with me holding hands, and it's so sweet, I've done it with several cuddle buddies and it's lovely.
~ Sunset Snuggles
I will look for any excuse to hold hands, I love it (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) But only if my potential cuddle partner was comfortable with it, of course! Everyone's different and your boundaries are yours to enforce.
I'm sure you're not the only one ~ ♡
Holding hands is not intimate for me. But I would respect my fellow cuddlers wishes (and I wouldn’t generate hold hands while cuddling either).
To me hand holding is not as intimate and full body to body cuddling so no I do not think it is too intimate so long as both parties are comfortable with it
I can hardly imagine, walking down a trail as a public cuddle, without holding her hand. However, my arm around her waist, might be a little too much. I really don't know why I feel that way, because my arm around her waist while cuddling on a bed, would feel perfectly normal. It's odd how the brain works
For me, it’s not too intimate or I guess it depends on the person and what it means to them. Somebody’s questions are variable upon who you are with then it would have to be asked of each individual separately. In regards to myself, it depends on my intent in mind.
I have rubbed somebody’s back just to calm them. I have also done the same with somebody who is a partner, but with romantic thoughts.
All in all, I would have to say, ask each person individually, and do not treat them with all the same approach.
No offence to anyone, but I'm starting to wonder what some people do during a cuddle. I'm not looking for any cuddle buddies that don't want to do a lot of platonic touching. I can't imagine not holding hands in some fashion during a cuddle. I find this so puzzling, but I'm glad to learn this is another thing I need to be aware of if I ever message any more new members. Like @xandriarain, I think full body cuddling is more intimate.
If I'm doing some relaxed spooning or something and I realize I'm not holding their hand too I fix it. Do people spoon and stuff and make a point of not holding hands? This is unfathomable to me. I suppose some people are referring to holding hands only? This has my head spinning.
@achetocuddle of course you can spoon and wrap your arms around them rather than hold hands
That's true and sometimes that is more comfortable. I should have said I often reach for the buddy's hand when I realize I'm not holding it, but not every time.
@GreatHornedOwl I meant to say I understand what you said. I can't explain it either, but it makes sense.
Thank you everyone for another good learning experience. I had no idea what hand holding meant to some people. Best wishes on your cuddle quest. Good evening.
This was edited in the hope of being accurate and understood.
For me personally, no it’s not too intimate at all. As a matter of fact, it’s a must lol
Hand holding is the best! It's also one of my favorite parts of getting a massage.
Hand holding is bad during covid... Hmmhmm... Also avoid all contact... Especially eye contact. Hmmhmm
I feel as long as it’s not crossing boundaries of partners or those involved that it should be fine. Just like cuddling brings comfort so can hand holding it can help with grounding
Hand holding while their hands are still attached to their arms and body? Just want clarification.
I would say no, as long it is ok with both parties. I've had one cuddler that initiated it while we spooned.
It feels intimate to me even though it's kind of generic.
I've had coworkers reach out to give a high five only to use it as an opportunity for our hands to linger together for an extended time. There's nothing sexual going on. I get more hugs at work than the average person.
Not a problem for me at all - hand holding, a little hand massage in between... like already stated, if both cuddlers agree and feel comfortable, no issues.
If both parties like it, then do it. I find hand holding very comforting
Cuddling is very intimate experience to me. I will say very little made me smile as much and spooning with my cuddle buddy recent and when holding hands she interlocked fingers just felt nice.
But as with anything consent and communication of boundaries goes first. I don't think I would cuddle with someone that I couldn't hold hands.
And before I schedule a session I normally ask for boundaries in addition to the CC guidelines. It's served me well.
Such a great question and is fascinating to see others answers. I can see how it's considered really intimate to some but in my sessions it's the "gateway" cuddle for some. They may be nervous to actually being held but feel comfortable laying together and holding hands. The women I cuddle feel more comfortable starting out that way. Hand holding to me just gives my clients an opportunity to know that "I've got them" and I'll meet them at whatever level they are comfortable.
Hand holding and light hand massaging is a good place to start if one is tentative.We hand hold,caress during the session, the big spoon position mainly
@FunCartel ~ 😜 'snort'
edited to add Hand holding is surprisingly intimate for me. I'm personally way more comfy going in for a hug than I am to walk about holding hands.
At least I think so... Cause I've full-on cuddled and puddled with multiple people from here, and I don't recall (in all the times we went out and about) that there was ever any hand holding. Though if there was then maybe it just felt natural and easy so it's not as intimate as I'm thinking... 🤔
I suppose maybe it just depends.
I’ve held hands in every cuddle I’ve been on but it’s usually when we are embraced in a full body cuddle. It feels natural and platonic to me
I can imagine holding hands during cuddling as feeling ok. If I were in a relationship, maybe not. Especially while out walking, that feels like something special for a loved one. But I have a close female friend I’ve known for years who always says “love you” at end of a phone call and that feels weird. Sometimes I’ll awkwardly say it back but….
@carrieanne yea it's surprising how many people have issues with the word love. Loving someone is more platonic than anything else to me. I love my mother, brother, sister and friends.
I get looks I would talk to my brother and before we get off the phone we tell each other we love each other. It's natural to us.
I have friends men and women who I'm not related to and we exchange I love also. Well I can say I have two women I share that with and the list of men is a bit longer.
It feels good to give and receive love.
@carrieanne saying "I love you" and the end of a call is habit for some. I always say it to family and some of my friends when ending a call. My family is close and when we're together it always ends with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Even when I worked with my sister, whoever left first would find the other to say goodbye and do this. I remember the manager pointing out how close we were, but to us it was normal.
On a funny note, I've had a couple patients who have said it when we're ending a call- accidentally of course! I found it humorous but also endearing.
No it is definitely not as long as both parties are comfortable with it!
It’s a form of safe touch, reassurance, a degree of trust, and yes intimate- if both agree to it platonically then it would be fitting to integrate it.
I love love love hand holding during sessions. Just letting outlets hands find each other and interlock while we nuzzle up together feels so amazing.