Im so over being emotionally mature

xandriarainxandriarain
in General

I’m really exhausted from being emotionally mature. I just want to go back to the good old days where I could throw a full-blown temper tantrum and stomp my feet and scream at whoever is pissing me off at the moment. Can we please normalize temper tantrums for adults?

What’s pissing you off today, what do you want to scream and stomp your feet about?

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    are you trying to tell me I’ve been doing this wrong the whole time?! I always throw temper tantrums and scream and stop my feet! Are you trying to tell me that’s not normal?!

  • [Deleted User]MrAdmirer (deleted user)

    haha. boy did work piss me of today. Classic large company red tape nonsense

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @lonelytauros no you are absolutely right, everyone else is wrong

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    I sometimes yell at people in head who bothered me throughout the day on the car ride home. It’s a little cathartic.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesInWI (deleted user)

    Sorry, but people like me are why adult meltdowns are terrible.

    I’m certain that if I lost my temper, or honestly even displayed emotion, the police would be called.

    Possibly the SWAT teams.

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @CharlesInWI I don’t see why. Unless you’re getting physically violent or using weapons, last time I checked we still have freedom of speech, although I’m pretty sure Congress is trying to take that away. My policy is I can say the most awful and vile things as long as I don’t physically hurt anyone or do anything that could potentially land me in jail. I can even wish death upon people as long as I don’t make actual death threats.

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    @xandriarain thank you for reaffirming that! I tell that to people at work that I’m always right but for whatever reason they don’t seem to like that can you believe that?!

  • Matt462Matt462

    My tantrums usually consist of getting in my truck, blasting heavy metal and screaming along at the top of my lungs. It’s good way to get out aggression without being aggressive!

  • [Deleted User]CharlesInWI (deleted user)

    @xandriarain

    Well, free speech and so on aside, the truth is that when you are 6’5” tall, 31” at the shoulder, and weigh a bit more than 380 pounds, everyone is already a bit frightened of you.

    Add in anger, loud noises, and random arm waving, and cops get called.

    I didn’t make the world, I simply have to live in it.

  • Matt462Matt462

    @CharlesInWI , I hear you! I’m also 6’5”, people get scared if you speak loud.

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @CharlesInWI well they sound like cowards. My partner is 6’6” and 280 while I am 5’6 and 150 yet I still manage him when he is in the midst of his mental health episodes. You don’t need to be physically bigger or stronger to disarm another person you just have to hug the crazy out of them. Cuddling solves everything.

  • cde123cde123

    Sometimes holding perfect boundaries is incredibly frustrating, even if it makes this whole site's concept possible.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod

    @xandriarain
    I encourage temper tantrums with me (as long as I am not the subject they are angry about or making me feel like I am part of the problem). Sometimes you just need to let your anger out and not be judged for it or have to put up with someone playing devils advocate and disagreeing with you.

  • EarthaREarthaR

    Great intro for this post! I'm known for staying calm even in hostile sudden scenarios but one time I let it all out, I mean all of it to my boss. I had to set him straight. Days later, he gave me a big raise😁🤣

  • [Deleted User]CharlesInWI (deleted user)

    @xandriarain

    I simply believe that most people have some childhood trauma from when a much larger, angry adult scared them, or harmed them.

    People being afraid of me doesn’t make them cowards. It makes them people.

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @CharlesInWI can’t relate, when I was a kid I made all the adults around me afraid….

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @CharlesInWI
    I read what you wrote and my heart started racing, even after 65 years and that person is long gone. I have leftover fear to this day of certain types of people.
    As long as you’re safe doing it, tantrums and dealing with every kind of emotion, is healthy!
    I’m all for getting it out there!
    Of course it’s best to be alone in a padded room.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesInWI (deleted user)

    @carrieanne Im so sorry that happened to you.

    And yeah, I agree they venting can be healthy, but it tends to be best done in safe privacy, where only those you know and trust are there.

  • ShakeShake

    Most prevalent for me would have to be having some unearned blame thrown onto me. I'm all for owning my mistakes, but I'd prefer it be mistakes I actually made. Not taking the heat for what someone else screwed up, just because they used my stuff to mess up.

    Not about to try explaining that to my boss, but still, that wasn't the type of mistake I would make so it stung to let that one roll off my back.

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @EarthaR That is awesome 👏 I am so proud of you!

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    If only raging got me anywhere (other than seriously concerned, because yikes!! 😬)...

    These days, I'm in more of an exhausted by it all state - Unable to address or shield myself from the chaotic cluster of expanding hell that's all around, everywhere, all the time.

    Really, I wish I had the kind of energy a good temper tantrum requires... As it is though, when it all hits at once, I can just barely manage to gently rock myself to sleep and hope the tears subside.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited April 2023

    Really, I wish I had the kind of energy a good temper tantrum requires... As it is though, when it all hits at once, I can just barely manage to gently rock myself to sleep and hope the tears subside.

    @quixotic_life man, do I feel that. I barely have the spoons to do bare minimum most days, let alone rage 😅

    my catharsis these days usually comes from watching really emotionally charged movies or reading really emotionally charged books and just letting it out, quietly. Whereas most people seek to watch happy stuff when they're down, I'll watch really really depressingly sad stuff to make myself cry to get it out. Heartbroken or grief? Sad romance/drama. On edge/worrying about something and not able to get out of my head? Horror 💀

    Angry is a hard one for me though. I taught myself in childhood not to feel it basically, and it's taken years of therapy to get to where I can even actually feel actual anger, vs annoyance or impatience. I truly envy people who can let it out instead of turn it inwards or disassociate. I know it can go to the extreme other direction, but man... To just be able to actually feel that emotion without all the attached guilt and shame from childhood trauma? Sounds amazing 😅

    @xandriarain we totally need quiet rooms for adults like we do for kids - places we can go to tantrum all we like and feel all the big feels, and then be able to come out and coregulate with someone safe.

  • munkgmunkg

    @xandriarain

    https://breakdownrageroom.com/

  • robroorobroo

    @munkg wow I never knew this place existed. Pretty convenient 😅

  • teddybear888teddybear888

    If I provide that space for you to release that tantrum do I get a plate of chocolate chip cookies?

    ……. Actually….. choc chip with coconut, oatmeal & walnuts.

    That’s my child moment. I want a cookie.

  • LadyVelLadyVel

    I always feel better after I let it out but you need to either leave me alone during it or wrap me tight in a hug so I cant escape so I cry it out.

  • _marC_marC

    Sounds like you need a cuddl sesion... Not as the facilitator

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @cuddlefaery & @quixotic_life, I feel you on that. Most of the time, I feel depressed, anxious, and beaten down, but every now and then, I get sick and tired of my struggles, and this anger boils up. And @munkg I did know about rage rooms, I should try one

  • Finnegan2017Finnegan2017

    I don't want to throw a tantrum, I just want to go to a corner somewhere and just go to sleep for a while.

  • MegaSnugglezMegaSnugglez

    My toliet has been having issues where it will not flush all the way. Monday I spent all day and night with plungers, snakes, etc trying to fix it. Tuesday afternoon guy comes gives it a few plunges and works for a day until now where it’s clogged again but there seems to be nothing blocking the flush that I have found. 😭

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