I had a pro recently ask me to send her a picture of my photo ID before she would book a session. What do you all think about that? With identity theft, I won’t send a copy of my photo ID to anyone.
A bit shady. I woukd report that.
I can understand the thought for safety . You could easily cover address and ID. Number to just prove pic is same as pic you sent them . This is why I meet first so I can see the pic they sent me is actually them . Yes fake ID are a thing but it’s still your picture .
I think it’s interesting clients want you to trust them immediately but have no problem assuming you’ll steal their identity . It goes both ways . I don’t ask for ID because I know some men have issue with it so I vet in other ways .
I would agree a public meeting at first is a must, a big MUST but my ID is not happening over the internet. How do I know other person isnt scamming.
I get that , that is why I said if you do it ( I would do in person or on text not online ) cover up address and LICENSE NUMBER . I just meet in person because men get nervous about showing ID . As usual they want all the trust but have non .
Trust is earned. And I would not plan on seeing a pro, but meetinh anyone I woulf only meet in public for first several times for sure.
I agree trust is earned but when women talk about safety and doing things to ensure safety so many men talk about how women think the worst of men and require too much to feel safe . I’ve had many complain about meeting in public first or sending a simple picture of themselves .
When I posted this originally, I never said that I assumed specifically that a professional cuddler would steal my identity. I said that I wouldn’t send a copy of my ID to anyone. When I say anyone, I mean anyone and everyone. I just wanted to clarify that and hope everyone understands that I am not bashing anyone or pro cuddlers in general.
I have a friend who has been a paid cuddler on a different site where it is actually required for the client to provide photo of ID in order to book due to safety issues.
If it's for a first time meeting then I can see either person asking to see ID at the start of the session or requesting it beforehand as a safety measure. That way the person requesting it can give it to their "check-in buddy" in case something was to happen and they didn't report in after the session was supposed to end so police would have something to go off if needed. Yes, covering your address and drivers license number I'd agree should be done if you're going to do this, but also with the rise in identities being stolen looking for other ways to verify a person should be looked into if you're trying to confirm the person is safe to have a session with. It goes both ways though, trust has to be earned if something like a photo ID is being requested... regardless if it's 2 non-Pros or a client with a Pro, if you plan to ask for it then you should be willing and prepared to share yours too. I know a couple of Pros that go by a different name than they use for cuddling and use Google Voice phone numbers for safety reasons because of problems they've had in the past.
As per the CSA for the site,
Cuddle Comfort makes no claim that using our website to organise cuddle sessions is safe. Before any session begins, the Client should always exercise due diligence independent of our website to satisfy their own peace of mind in regards to safety.
While it does only say that the "Client" should do this, it still means anyone using the site, including Pros, should do whatever they feel they must, legally, to ensure their safety of whomever they are meeting.
I also wanted to mention that seeing a picture of a drivers license or even seeing an actual physical license does not guarantee safety. Pictures of drivers licenses can be photoshopped and fake IDs can easily be obtained.
I do not nor would I ask for a picture of someone's ID. I abide by strict privacy practices in my cuddle business. I Just don't think it's necessary.
Reality is nothing guarantees safety other than not interacting with humans . I don’t ask for ID either but that’s why I do a picture and a meet up before . I also require address of cuddle location .
I was curious so I looked up fake IDs online and was shocked to find out how easy it is to get one. I found a site that will generate a fake digital version of a drivers license for only $10. Just an FYI for those of you that think seeing an ID from a client means you’ll be safe, think again.
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@Brandi I think @Reurbo really hit the nail on the head. He acknowledges safety for pros as well as the reality of identity theft. This thread isn’t meant to negatively comment on what pros do. This thread is meant to ultimately discuss alternative methods of identification.
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At snugglesalon they requested an upload of photo ID but recognized the privacy concerns so then just got the ID# then matched it upon arrival (for introductory session only). They will do what they can to protect themselves. There has to be a give and take to the extent both agree. Otherwise, I suppose, the transaction doesnt happen. I am all right without a pic if I get a good description. But then I am a client, not a pro. I would take into consideration my gut feeling as to whether my photo were in danger of being misused. There are ways to change photos while still giving a good idea of our appearance.
I request a pic of ID if the client has no karma and I always tell them they can edit out the DL# and address if they are concerned with me having their information. I typically host. A client will have my name and address. If the client does not want to share their ID and they have no karma, I won't see them. I'm aware this isn't a fool proof way of verifying, do to people being able to alter pics and so forth, but it has worked well for me by creating a bit of accountability on the clients end.
I have only had one person with no karma have a problem with it. He wanted to stay completely anonymous and I'm just not ok with that. I do think it has helped weed out people who might not have the best intentions.
Professionalism, organization & structure are important if you are serious about running a responsible & successful business. (Do whatever works for you, but never stop learning and developing your approach!) I keep a copy of ID on file for every client I see as well as a signed agreement and waiver. This is common practice and absolutely reasonable (& necessary) considering the nature of this work. It is wise to keep records if you are working as a pro - for many reasons, including age verification & personal safety. Of course, any information shared is kept strictly private and confidential. I am highly protective of my clients. If a client approaches me for this service, but for some reason they are uncomfortable having their ID on file or signing the agreement, I am not comfortable working with them. There might be many reasons why someone may have hang ups about this, which I respect, but it comes across as shady and is a red flag for me. It helps me to identify which clients are a good fit (honest, transparent, open, here for the right reasons etc) for this service and who are not a good fit. The type of client I am looking to connect with appreciates structure, professionalism, clarity and consistency provided by a high work ethic. They know they are in good hands with someone who cares about providing a quality, legitimate service. I love what I do and I deeply believe in cuddling as a powerful form of healing. I also believe safety & responsible record keeping is a must as we work to develop this budding industry into something more mainstream. Just my own perspective on the matter.
@JRose I’m thinking that is the best way to do it for me and the professionalism of how some run their buisness would help me feel safer . I rather have less clients then feel unsafe . Watching the webinar offered recently really showed me how I want to run my buisness . We share our ID with therapist , dr offices etc there isn’t a good reason to not do so with professional cuddlist . They can get protection against identity theft etc or go to someone else if it makes them uncomfortable they don’t have to hire me . I’m ok with that .
Yeah I was just thinking the same thing @catloaf thats the kind of message I was trying to get across in my previous comments, but Im terrible with words sometimes haha. Very nicely put @jrose I think you made that sound extremely appealing.
@Brandi did you delete your comment ?
Visa and MasterCard do not require an ID for a transaction? Also regarding hotels, most hotel chains that make a copy of your ID are now required to destroy the copy upon you checking out. Visa and MasterCard recommend you ask for the copy back from the hotels and or watch them destroy it. For all clients and potential clients, please beware, it is highly dangerous for copies of your personal information to be out there like this. It’s also dangerous for pros to keep this information because you can potentially be liable for any security breaches. I recommend clients do not send information online and please read carefully whatever any pro asks you to sign. I recommend you do not give them a copy of your ID. If they insist upon this, let them know that they may be personally liable for any security breaches that may happen due to them having your personal information. This is not just with pro cuddlers but with anyone or company that requests your personal information. I see no harm in showing them your ID but they should not have a copy of it.
If you don’t like a cuddlist buisness policy you can choose to not hire them . Do what you need to protect yourself . Professionals will do the same .
I would recommend all pros look into the actual legalities and potential issues regarding their policies so they can avoid any problens. Business is not as simple as everyone thinking they can just make up their own rules. That’s why I feel their should be some standardization in this industry.
I agree professional should check the laws in their state about legalities of their policies , how to implement them and when they need to have paperwork for clients to agree to the policies . Don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to change your boundaries just research how to implement Them legally . Knowledge is power !
Accurate record keeping and a signed agreement & waiver is in place for the explicit purpose of protection. I advise all pros to do their research and design a solid system for record keeping. It is far more risky not to - regardless of what others may try to say to scare you away from responsible business practices. And I encourage all serious clients to look for pros who take your safety and privacy seriously while offering a structured and solid program. I would feel 1000% more comfortable walking into a place where I knew they took their work, professionalism and clients seriously. I would be very quick to raise an eyebrow to any service provider who didn't have some kind of structured intake process. No need to go to extremes as that can detract from the point of the experience. Keep it warm, keep it open and welcoming, but be thoughtful about how you manage & protect your wonderful clients as well as yourselves!
I'm more than happy to text, talk on the phone and video chat but I wouldn't send a photo of my ID to someone.
Would someone still want to see my ID if I was willing to perform the things listed above?
I'm a little foggy on why the ID would be necessary? For visual purposes? The person's name?
For me it would be to report someone who sexually assaults or stalks me . I’ve had these things happen and I know cuddlers that have had some scary experiences . A simple pic isn’t always enough info .