Dealing with Grief

[Deleted User]TeddyBear81 (deleted user)
in General

I've been on this site for a long time now and had a handful of cuddles. I have always loved the idea of cuddles because it's just good for the soul. Everyone cuddles for their own reasons but science tells us it helps on an emotional level and engages positive brain receptors. But I'm wondering where grief fits into the picture of cuddling. And even virtual cuddles. I've got a pretty new and raw reason for grief and I know I need a therapist or counselor, but finding one quickly seems really hard with most schedules pushed out. But if you want to try and cuddle for the purposes of grief, how much can you share with a cuddle buddy before it becomes too much? I feel like it would even be nice to have virtual cuddles with someone to talk to. But cuddlers are not therapists, so just trying to understand this a bit more from the communities perspective.
(btw, i am trying to join meetup groups that do online group grief meetings as well)

Comments

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    Yes cuddle therapy can be a great resource for those dealing with grief. Just choose your cuddle therapist wisely and make sure they are willing and able to hold space for you.

  • JaneDough_JaneDough_

    For starters, I'm sorry for your loss/grief and hope you do find a good grief counselor soon. Second, this is all my opinion. Nothing is law. But I would say it is best to just be up front and ask if they are comfortable receiving another persons sorrow. Some people can't handle anymore sadness than they already deal with. I think it would be best in this instance to find someone who has already taken the steps, done the shadow work and are healed themselves, so they can help you on your healing process.

    So I guess my answer would be, "share as much as youre comfortable with, and as much as they're comfortable receiving."

    Express your reason for cuddling, let them decide if this is something they can mentally handle, if so then dive in!

    I hope you have a healthy healing process and find a great cuddle buddy.

  • BearBear

    Two months ago, I lost my father. Last year I lost my brother unexpectedly. My therapist moved locations and my insurance isn’t excepted at the new location. I’ve had two therapist start practicing or such. I really don’t want to start from scratch again.

    One thing that has helped me a lot is just cuddling in general. I have it on my profile so most people have an inkling that I’m going through the process of grief. I don’t always expound upon what I’m feeling or such, especially since cuddlers are not therapist.

    Yet the Cuddling has just helped me tremendously in general. I highly recommend cuddling to help with the grief.

  • Jose350Jose350

    Some cuddlers are great listener and give good advice. Some times when people grief all they need is for someone to listen and hold them.

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod

    @TeddyBear81 Im going to say if it were me doing the virtual cuddle you could share as much or as little as you wanted to. Without judgement. Hugs.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @JaneDough_ is on-point!

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • [Deleted User]KYtransplant (deleted user)

    @TeddyBear81 most any emphatic person is capable of listening and usually very willing to do so as long as it not emotional dumping without warning.

    For 10 years I was a medical clinic escort and had some very intense emotional experiences with clients who just needed a kind word and no judgment. And I was able to hold that space for them and allow them to be heard if they chose.

    Many people, women especially have a small network of 'no matter what friends'. Those friends literally kept me from unaliving myself in 2020 early in the pandemic after a very sudden breakup with an individual whom I thought was my life partner. These friends are not the cuddly type, but they are the pick up the phone at 2am type.

    And just this week I unexpectedly came home to find one of my beloved dogs had died overnight in a very tragic incident at the farm. I called my cuddle guy at 0530 in the morning to tell him and just cried. He simply held space for me long distance over the phone to let me know I was not alone and he would listen. He even offered to jump on the first plane out if I needed him.

    But sometimes just to be heard and validated is enough. He will be up next week for the OH meet up. We will pick up my dogs ashes together.

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234
    edited August 2023

    I’m sorry about your loss! I would be upfront about letting people know what you need, like just to listen, or just to cuddle, or whatever. Sometimes people offer advice/suggestions or say things that aren’t helpful, and they’ve never been there themselves. Hugs, and I hope you find the support you need/want currently.

  • [Deleted User]TeddyBear81 (deleted user)

    Thanks everyone for great advise. I'm not sure why I didn't think of some of this, but it all makes good sense. Communication is key in all relationships and discussing needs and expectations such as a tragic event happened and if the person felt comfortable letting me share with them and that I might end up crying. I can totally understand and respect that it might not be comfortable for some or maybe they have their own situation to deal with and can't make the space for your grief, etc etc.
    Really appreciate the feedback.

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