@Minestrone101 😄 What is your criteria? I've met peeps who have been on here since like 2015. Craziness.
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
@SunsetSnuggles 2-4 years maybe to earn their stripes and not do the broke back...
@Minestrone101 Mm, cowboys...
You’re already shelling out enough cash as it is. Professional cuddle fees are already high without tipping. Don’t tip, save the money instead.
@SunsetSnuggles
ma'am, this is a platonic site. also:
Just get a bathroom and poops already
As others have said, tipping is not expected but much appreciated. My advice would be to tip at the end of the session even though the payment is upfront. That way, there is no room for misinterpretation that the tip is a bribe to do more than cuddle. I always tip service providers well, so I definitely pay it forward when I get tipped. The other day a good client of mine tipped me $100 more than normal for the holidays, and I got my hair done the next day and passed that tip along to my hairdresser. (This is a whole side tangent, but I took my mom to the hair salon with me, and it was her first time there, one of the newer stylists cut her hair and did a terrible job, and my stylist fixed her hair for free after doing my hair and did an amazing job, so she more than earned the $100 tip). I believe in karma and the golden rule, so when I go out into the world, I treat others with kindness and generosity, which usually comes back to me.
Tipping is definitely never expected, but always greatly appreciated! I am grateful that they even booked a cuddle session with me and even more grateful for repeat sessions more than tipping.
I agree with xandriarain, IF you do tip, do not, under any circumstances tip before the session. Always tip after. That way, your tip could be tailored to accurately reflect the quality of the service you received, if you truly want to do so. That being said, I still advise against it, because it could create the expectation that excellent service should be financially rewarded, and encourage discrimination against clients that don’t tip. When in fact, clients that don’t tip should be treated the same as clients that do.
@MountainCuddles If someone treats the clients who don't tip worse than those who do, they have no business being in a helping profession. Most of my clients who tip are financially comfortable and can afford it, and I feel honored that my service stood out enough that they felt compelled to tip; I also feel honored by the client who has to scrimp and save for a session, and I wouldn't want them to tip if that meant they would have to make even more sacrifices.
Side note, you don't have to tip with money; you can also do the following: 1. Give them a verbal appreciation and tell them how much they have helped you 2. Leave them a good karma 3. Leave them a Google review/ review on their website if they have one 4. Give them a referral or share their information with a doctor or therapist who might make referrals
Just out of curiosity, are pros considered independent contractors in the U.S.? Is the income taxable? Does one fill out a 1099? I have no idea but am curious about it after this discussion.
@MountainCuddles Your point would technically apply to hairstylists, waiters, mechanics , and other services folks. I would disagree. If I tip a bag person at the supermarket, I don't think they'll make the next person's groceries fall through the sack (and if they do, I hope they post it on Tiktok).
In general , it's one thing if folks are indiscriminately not tipping all service folk, but I feel individuals are saying pro cuddlers are NOT worth tipping. I disagree.
@MrMarkAndrew We would be classified as Sole Proprietors unless we create an LLC but fill out the same Schedule C form that 1099 independent contractors do; we do not receive 1099 forms because we are service providers, and clients are not expected to provide 1099 forms and no third party entity is hiring us.
@xandriarain Make that Soul Proprietors. I'm here all week.
I’m glad this is being addressed here as I think I’ve been doing this tipping thing all wrong. So far I’ve tipped with empty Epson printer cartridges, used Amazon boxes, a Diet Coke, an old iPhone charger with wires poking through, oh and a really nice spatula..
All kidding aside, I’ve only just very recently started using pros and it has been an question, but I I’ve rounded the fees up and thrown in some additional gas $ too, maybe $20-$35 or so (?)…
If you don’t want to tip for reasons of it being too high or miserly then by all means don’t tip. But if people want to tip their cuddler then why advise against it? Tipping is to show appreciation especially if you had a nice session. You could tip by cooking a meal or having snacks or getting them a car ride home if it’s late. If I was a cuddler and someone posted “Don’t tip” I surely would stay away from that person! 😂😂 And like some cuddler have said tip not expected by appreciated.
@MountainCuddles - your attempt to explain the negative consequences of tipping - to justify your stance and convince others to follow suit - is wildly unsubstantiated. The data show that there is NO link between quality of service and amount of tip provided. People that generally tip will tip regardless and those that generally don’t tip still won’t tip even if the service was amazing.
I respect your personal stance on the issue, but recommending that others avoid tipping based on misinformation is going too far. This community is already misunderstood and pro-cuddlers face a lot of challenges in this space. Please do not intensify this by attempting to reduce compensation for providers in this field.
Well, in general, I don’t believe in the concept of tipping at all. I don’t tip most of the other services mentioned above either. I think tipping is ridiculous. The only reason I tip restaurant workers is because they’re not even making minimum wage. That being said, I think it should be the same as in Europe, that is, tips are not “expected,” and restaurant workers are at least paid minimum wage. As for the other services mentioned, I don’t tip.
As for professional cuddling not being a different case than the other services, oh no no no, it is very much a different case. For all the other services mentioned, you are paying for a specific job to get done, and it will take as long as it takes. For paying professional cuddling, you are paying for a pre-determined amount of time.
And yes, the fact that a service provider is already being paid a high fee also matters. That would apply to perhaps some (not all) of the other services mentioned. Like, I assume mechanics are also already paid a relatively high fee, but I don’t know off the top of my head.
Another thing that sets professional cuddlers apart from some (not all) other services is that they are self-employed and set their own fee. Let’s consider another service for which the fee is generally regarded as high, payment is by the hour, and the service provider is self-employed and determines their own fee. Let’s consider self-employed music teachers that run their own studio, for example. Do you tip them? Probably not. So if you don’t tip self-employed music teachers, why tip self-employed professional cuddlers?
I think the best reason to tip someone is if they actually need the money, as is the case with restaurant workers. But even then, I believe tipping should at least be conditional based on the quality of service. I don’t believe in 20% as a baseline.
But to tip someone not because they actually “need” the money, but as a “thank you,” I don’t believe in that at all. I think that is ridiculous no matter the industry. So yes, what I said about professional cuddling applies to other industries as well. But it applies to professional cuddling even more so because you’re paying by the hour and the fee being charged is particularly high.
I do agree with “tipping” in non-monetary ways, and I do that myself, because it’s no skin off my back. However, I don’t call that “tipping.” Tipping is specifically monetary.
As for reduced quality of service, I’m not talking about something blatantly obvious such as “making the next person’s groceries fall through the sack.” I’m talking about subtle things, such as reduced enthusiasm, which is not so important when it comes to a bag person at a supermarket, but is extremely important when it comes to cuddling.
And yes, I will continue to advise clients against tipping, because it is not in their best interest to do so. It is an unnecessarily selfless act. Sometimes, being selfish is for the best, and I believe this is one of those cases. Ok, I’ll make an exception for the super-rich 1% of the population for which money does not matter. But for the 99% of the population for which money does matter, everything I said stands.
Bottom line, if we’re talking about tipping as an “act of kindness,” how about be kinder to yourself? If you see professional cuddlers regularly, because you “need” cuddles, and the more cuddles the better, just think how much the money you spend on tips accumulates in the short run, as well as the long run. Just think of what else you could spend the money on. For one thing, instead of spending it on tips, you could spend it on more cuddling hours. If you don’t spend it on more cuddling hours, you could spend it on other things that may benefit you. If you don’t spend it, you could save it for the future, whether that be for retirement or for your emergency fund. Seriously, unless you’re super rich, don’t tip, but instead, keep that money for yourself and use it to further your own needs.
No one needs your unsolicited financial advice. Your perception that cuddling is a lucrative gig is just that - YOUR perception. “Expensive” is relative, and more nuanced than just the “top 1%.” Stop being ignorant. Stop spreading misinformation. And stop trying to lower income for professional cuddlers. You do you, no need to rally others to join your crusade.
In Japan, tipping is considered an insult. You'll get your "tip" given back to you and get the same dirty looks as if you didn't tip in the U.S.
Maybe our friend should consider moving to Japan. Since this is a topic he’s so passionate about.
The way I see it as that the price listed for pros is their minimum rate. If somebody wants to pay more, they can. If they instead raise their rates, they will price out people who can't afford it.
@cozycuddler4you 😂😂😂 👏👏👏
I'm honestly surprised it's even being debated. Tipping a cudler is a choice, not an obligation. To argue against it or for it is futile because it does not change minds or actions. It's an opinion, and you cannot force an opinion onto other no matter how right you might think you are . You are either going to tip a cuddler because you want to, or not because you don't. And there is no wrong action or opinion because it is in no way obligatory and is up to the individual to decide .
Now what was I in the middle of doing again ? Oh yeah, pooping! Better get back to that now.
@cozycuddler4you
You are essentially telling me to “sit down and shut up.” You are out of line here.
You have the right to speak as a pro on what you believe is in the best interest of pros in general, and I have the right to speak as a client on what I believe is in the best interest of clients in general.
Everything I said thus far is relevant to the OP.
The OP asked a question. He asked, “what is a decent amount to tip professional cuddlers.” And my response is a decent amount is ZERO.
But the OP also seems to think that he SHOULD tip professional cuddlers. So I’m explaining to him that he should not feel any obligation to tip professional cuddlers, as well as WHY he shouldn’t feel such an obligation.
@MountainCuddles +1
Also, there’s no data at all as to a disparity or lack thereof in treatment of tipping vs non-tipping clients by professional cuddlers. Your opinion is just as “unsubstantiated” as mine. If there is, show me the data and I stand corrected.
It’s well known that waiters treat clients differently based not only on tipping or lack thereof, but also the amount that was tipped. Waiters remember returning clients.
Of course, the difference is, in the restaurant business, tipping is expected, while in the professional cuddling business, tipping is not expected. So if you don’t tip a waiter (in the US), you’re supposed to expect bad service if you’re a returning client that didn’t tip the first time.
This is not the case with the professional cuddling industry. So if there is a similar disparity in treatment of clients in the professional cuddling industry, it is much less pronounced than in the restaurant industry, as well as much more subtle. However, that does not necessarily mean that it is trivial, because subtleties in a cuddle session are often the most important things.
Just because tipping is not expected, and just because professional cuddlers (unlike waiters) are not supposed to treat non-tipping clients any differently, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It’s just human nature. Having said that, for first time clients, it shouldn’t make a difference, because the pro does not known in advance if they will receive a tip. For returning clients, it could easily make a difference. I am sure there are some, emphasis on some, professional cuddlers, that treat tipping, repeat clients differently than they would treat non-tipping, repeat clients. It doesn’t even have to be intentional. It could be purely subconscious, because once again, that’s just human nature. Whereas, if professional cuddlers knew they would always receive the total that was initially agreed upon, no more and no less, that would not be an issue.
I would make an exception for the professional cuddlers that have a “pay-it-forward” program to use tips to subsidize clients that are struggling financially. In that case, sure, go ahead and tip, if you have enough extra money that you can comfortably afford it. Disclaimer, of course I’m biased in saying that, as a client.
That right there, for me, is proof that the professional in questions cares enough that they would not treat non-tipping clients any differently. The fact that they spend that money to help financially disadvantaged clients, rather than spending it on themselves, is proof that they care.
Removing this part of the post. The rest can stay in tact. [Shake]
It is appropriate for you to share what you tip (zero) and why. Agree with you that your response - describing what YOU do and why - fulfills OPs request. You took it too far when you pushed your flawed reasoning on others, encouraging them to join you in your crusade to end tipping for cuddlers. You then continued to push your stance by making unsubstantiated claims about profit margins for cuddlers, claiming services to be “expensive”, delineating who should be tipping (top 1% lol) , and then dispensing shitty financial advice on how to use their “tip money.”
There are people in this community that may take your reasoning to heart and stop tipping, not understanding that your reason is a false “scare tactic” debunked by data. This is harmful to the cuddlers that rely on cuddle money to support themselves and their family. It is not up to you to decide who NEEDS money and is therefore deserving of tips and who is not.
Please understand the power imbalance in the cuddle community. Systemically, we hear about pros getting taken advantage of in various capacities and legally, there are no regulations (i.e. protections) in place for pro cuddlers. Please understand - as the one with disproportionately more power - that your words carry power. My suggestion moving forward is to better delineate that your responses are person opinion only.
I never made any claim about the profit margins of professional cuddlers, but only about the rates and rate structures. Of course, your hourly rate could be high, but that doesn’t guarantee you’re going to make a profit.
Most families sending their children to piano lessons would consider the hourly rates of even lower-end piano teachers to be relatively high. That doesn’t mean the profit margins of said piano teachers are high. Of course, some piano teachers are rolling in the dough, while others are just struggling to get by. Same thing with professional cuddlers. And yet, no one (or almost no one) tips piano teachers no matter how much they may be struggling.
“Top one percent” is a heuristic. That does not literally mean “one percent.” It means, if you have enough extra money that you could tip and not even feel the financial effects of it, that is completely different than for someone who is middle class or even upper middle class.
You could argue that I am hurting professional cuddlers by advising clients against tipping, and I could argue that I would be hurting clients by remaining silent.
I have no proof that clients that don’t tip are treated differently, and you have no proof that they aren’t.
Based on what we know about human nature and human psychology, tipping creates an incentive structure. And, it would likely work in favor of first-time clients, because the better service you provide, the more likely it is that you would receive a tip, and if you do, the more generous said tip may be.
The same incentive structure could potentially work against returning, non-tipping clients because the incentive to provide excellent service the first time does not exist to the same degree as it did the first time.
I should mention that if the majority of clients don’t tip, this probably would not be a significant issue, because then professional cuddlers would still need to maintain their client base. So that would still work as the incentive to provide quality service.
Now, when half the client base tips, this could start to be more of an issue. When the majority of the client base tips, then I think that this is very likely to be an issue.
The reason differential treatment of non-tipping customers in the restaurant industry is so pronounced is in large part because in that industry, tipping is the norm. Therefore, waiters can afford to discriminate against non-tipping customers.
So in conclusion, the more tipping professional cuddlers becomes the norm, the more non-tipping clients are likely to experience reduced quality service.
@cozycuddler4you 100% 👍👍👍