@Mike403 - I honestly can't imagine why a cuddler would offer it like that and risk getting reported and losing her livelihood. It's just reckless and wrong. I understand the appeal behind potentially earning more money or return clients, but it's just not worth it if you lose your entire account over it, or worse, put someone in an uncomfortable and potentially triggering situation.
@PixiePassions - I would feel extremely uncomfortable if somebody offered any "extra services". I'd be afraid to offend her if I say no. I don't really see a variety of pros to worry about it though. I've only seen a few who I know and trust.
Platonic cuddling. Does it really exist here?
Yes! Yes, it does it does exist here.😊
woman is a single mother here, I'd highly advise keeping that to yourself. Both from general safety stand point and also because I've read men elsewhere talking about how they prey on single mothers and view them as easy.
THIS!^^^👍👍👍
@Lovelight Yep, this silly notion of single mothers are "easy, damaged goods willing and DESPERATE FOR ANY RANDOM MALE ATTENTION" really needs to die in a fire 🔥 already. 😑
And unfortunately, there are single mothers out there who are exactly THAT...🙄😔 As I am also related to a few of them myself.🤦♀️🙄
I am open to mentioning my being a single mother (and not just a 'mother who is single' YES there is a difference 😏) elsewhere on other sites (that I am active on). I won't mention it one particular site, due to obvious creepy pedos lurking about there🤢🤮. Yes, I do report them if ever the subject of children pop up in my inbox in a grossly manner.🤨😑
I don't mind mentioning it, because I'm comfortable with my status AS A SINGLE MOTHER.😊 I don't see it as something that I should be "ashamed of", single mothers have existed since the beginning of time and yes there is A LOT of shitty stigma and stereotyping attached to being a single mother that I despise wholeheartedly😠:
Fine with me, I don't recall ASKING YOU to "take care of my kid" in the first place.😑 Thanks for making that silly ASSumption that single mother equates to "I needz a manz to showz me HOWZ TO PARENTZ". Lol!😄 Nah, I got this! Have a nice day, jackass!👋😁
LOL!😄 My son is no burden, my son is the one being in MY world that keeps me going...If that's how you think of him (or children in general) yes please pass this SINGLE MOTHER on by. Thank you!🙂
Are we now? Really? Lol!😁 I know many single mothers (including myself) who sincerely PREFER the company of their OWN CHILDREN over some rando "looking for a place to live". Nobody ain't moving up in my house with me and mine!😑😁
That may be so for MOST single mothers with serious "internal issues" within themselves (that they clearly need work on🤨), but NOT with all of us...There's nothing "easy" about me, I'm a hard ass even when it comes to NSA hookups!😏
Sadly, that one is true as a lot of pedophiles are quick to latch on to weak minded, weak spirited and selfishly neglectful single mothers for easy access to their child/children...Nah see!😌
The trick is to not be THAT kind of single mother, never choose a man over your own children's physical health, safety and well-being. Simple as that!😁
Sorry, I ranted a bit there. Lol! Okay, maybe more then just a bit.🤏😄
Ya know, it's not just single mothers who are "viewed" as "easy"...🤔
Fat women and older women are often viewed as easy lays too, especially when the typical "18 to 20 something yr olds size 5 hard bodies" starts to ignore, reject and/or block internet Dudebros for various creepy reasons. Which I don't blame them, by the way...Lol!😆
Yeah, instead of Dudebros taking the hint and DOING BETTER with their approaches.😏
Lol! Which isn't gonna happen, right?😜
That's when I'll notice a lot of them will start creeping into MY inbox (and various other women of my age range and body size's inboxes as well🙄) with their "Hey sexy" bullshit attempts at "making nice" with us fat and older chicks...🙄🤦♀️
Cuz, ya know...??? 😌
Fat + Old= Desperate Easy Lays!
Right?😃👍
Dudebro "mathematical logic" is hilarious! 😄😆
@leisurebabe First, I'm sorry you too have to or had to go through what a lot of us battle. Reading your comment reminded me of some things I experienced and learned in life, that I think may be helpful to share/add to the discussion in general.
I met a guy elsewhere when I was a bit open to try dating, which I stopped for personal reasons. Although he found me attractive and seemed interested in dating, him and I found that we weren't on the same page probably about a bunch of things. Though at least a major thing or two. Anyway, I thought it might do us both good to try having some platonic cuddles, or at least a friendship. Neither of which came to fruition. When I asked if he'd be interested to just platonically cuddle, he told me that he wouldn't want to and part of it for him was because he found me (really (?) attractive. He said that maybe if he found me hedious looking he could do it, and if I remembered correctly, if maybe I was a guy. Long story short: Although I wish it didn't have to be the that way, I wholeheartedly respect his honesty and decision. He was or at least seemed from what I can see a well versed and mature guy. Even though I already knew this, he also advised me to be safe. He said to the effect of, a lot of guys might agree to it, while not genuinely agreeing to it and essentially try to use it as a foot in the door.
That may also be seen a lot in when women and men don't work out in dating. So maybe the women offer or asks to be friends or vice versa sometimes. A lot of guys may tend to agree in hopes that she changes her mind, or potentially worse that they try to change it.
While mature men have healthy boundaries, say what they mean, mean what they say, and say no when they need to. I think the inability or difficulties for men, or people in general, to politely or not so... say "no that doesn't work for me, peace out" is perhaps more prevalent in certain parts of the world than others and may tend to show up differently for men, and women. Thus further complicating the situation. All that coupled with really toxic "dating advice", some even dating back to who knows when, and being spread like the bubonic plague aren't helping the situation, and do get carried here like roaches and may invest... at times. So as far as I can see this will have to be a lot of ongoing effort to try to eliminate said problems from society in general, and more close to home, such as platforms like these.
Unfortunately, I think that guy perhaps is one of the rare ones in that regard with being so honest about his intentions, and respectful. On the contrary, I think plenty of men, even on platforms like these, actually go for women they find attractive, for them the more attractive the better, could be a whole discussion itself. Especially if the women are pros. They may see it as a chance to be in the arms of women they find attractive, and look at them lustily. **Plus some may use cuddling as euphemism for giggity giggity, or have some type of issues with separating the two. I think this in part may also be when they are in a relationship and they get a hardy while cuddling: they may often times or at least sometimes accustomed to having access to giggity. So they don't really get to learn to separate the two, and this might be a whole discussion in and of itself too. So I'll leave it there for now.
When they aren't having luck dating, or for whatever reasons aren't dating, they may try to use her as a 'replacement'. That off the bat, I think can set the wrong tone for themselves. Although some guys also would want to cross the lines with basically anyone they can, I think some are a bit or so more selective, and part of that for them is that they find said women attractive.
So can being attractive, perhaps to many, help? Probably. Can it maybe also be a disadvantage? Yes, probably. What about looking like a potato, maybe to many? Probably helps. It may also be a disadvantage depending on this and that.
No matter how long you know someone, and feel comfortable, I'd also continue to be mindful, and careful.
Additional personal experiences, some to support the point above:
I had an acquaintance years ago, didn't meet him here for clarity. Who one night out of the blue started trying to be/talk inappropriately to me. Him, and I just literally hung outside. Never cuddled, I doubt we ever even shaked hands. I was out watching a game and he happened to see me there, so he called me away from the crowd, which I just thought of as a chance to catch up with him. How he spoke to me that night, plus sometime after it online, made me never want to be around him again. I think he'd apologized sometime after, though the damage was done. He even hit me with something like "I don't care about your body" as in my deformities or disability didn't bother him. Lol. Yeah, man, plenty of guys don't care about it either when they are just trying to use disabled women, or women they otherwise find unattractive. Those of us who know, know, that that's not the one and only thing we are hoping for and are desperate for. So it doesn't win 'you' any cookies or a pat on the back.
Although you can read about some, they may not really be shared, which may be for good reasons. So most of it may involve you using your own intuition, and knowledge that you gain from various areas of life. Others can give you some guidance and support, though it's only you that's with you 24/7. Maybe learning to recognize the patterns, which if you get better at, you might in one way or another get wrong every now and then. Though overall may serve you well. Perhaps see if you can network and find a few trusted pros, and/or enthusiasts to help you navigate things better too. If you're a pro, another pro may be better suited to help you, however other enthusiasts could also have some potentially helpful things to share. Though even then, I would avoid becoming overly reliant, and I'd work on learning to better trust your own judgement, intuition, gut instinct, etc.
Doing self care such as yoga, meditation, having time with friends, etc., may also have many benefits in this regard. For example, it may make you mentally or emotionally stronger, better equipped under pressure, perhaps more resilient, and better connected to yourself. Other things to consider, how comfortable and strong you are with saying NO in whichever contexts you need to say it. If you struggle with that, I'd work on it, and if you still struggle to do it on your own, consider therapy.
I'd add that pros in some ways may need to move differently as they may somewhat lack certain things available to enthusiasts, such as the fact that we can take a lot longer, and meet several times in person without a cuddle if we feel a need to. So I don't have the answer for how to navigate that difference, or even how much of a difference it is, though hopefully y'all find it.
Well unfortunately I can't just tell predators to stop preying and that just fixes it.
IF only it were that easy!😁👍
Look ya'll, @Lovelight said...
"Stop being Predators And DO BETTER! Now do better, or ya'll get the hose again! Full blast this time!🤨"
"Oh, ya'll don't want to do better?!"
"Fine then! Katota hose them again!"
Katota gleefully skips away to get the hose
😆😆😆
So all we can do is our best to be safe, learn, and better guard ourselves in this world no matter if we're men, or women.
Exactly THIS!^^^^😁👍
That's really all you can do! 😊
@Katota Absolutely, I know and I'd add disabled too.
Fat, single mothers, disabled, over 30 or 40, maybe struggling with this or that too... "are even easier" _ according to them I'm sure, _LOL! Even better if they have some 'grey' hair showing or something. I just posted about the disabled part, which hits close to home for me, seconds before your response to me. Though yeah, there are several or more that unfortunately is seen as such by some.
Some women do lack healthy boundaries and standards, which like you said they need to work on. Unfortunately however, I think in some cases they may need to seek professional help. Because those may be some really deep seated issues they need to work through, and I hope whoever needs to, does. Because they deserve to be respected, and have healthy relationships with others.
@Katota I think you might’ve set the Guinness Book of World Records for use of emojis in a single thread lol 😂
Leave it to @lonelytauros to derail a serious conversation . Also, repeats don't count.
Honestly, it took me a while to find the right boundaries. I personally ask for ID from anyone I send my address to or meet up with for my own safety and I’ve realized that’s been huge as a deterrent for people crossing that line. I still get people who ask and I genuinely appreciate them asking before because it opens the floor for an honest conversation without judgement to let them know that I don’t provide those kinds of services.
I will say, since I’ve solidified my boundaries and communication with each cuddler I’ve had like 90% positive experiences
There are always people out there who want more, it's natural. But, yes, Platonic IS a thing. All my sessions have been very successful and pleasant. You can get an idea of who someone is like, by conversation, if it doesn't feel right or if the intended cuddler comes off with a funky vibe "sweetie" "doll" (some pet names) then you know it's not going to be right. Or, if they ask "What are you going to wear" just various que signals to identify. Other than that, than that shouldn't be an issue. If there is, then that's where "Block - Report" comes into action, it is there for a reason.
I think women should clearly state their boundaries in their profile and then when exchanging messages throw a test question out nonchalantly to see if the dude read your profile. Like “What would you do with my breasts during the cuddle?” If they answer with something alluding to groping or kissing them chances are great they didn’t read your profile or ignored it. It also sets them up for a ban.
While this might theoretically sound like a good idea, don't do this. This would be a form of entrapment, regardless of what you posted in your profile bio, and is more likely to come off as the person doing the asking getting reported. We have enough people on the site getting reported and banned for offering or asking for non-platonic things during a session and don't need people trying to test if someone may be an opportunist. Only thing it would prove is if given the chance they might but otherwise, they weren't the one who initiated asking for it. [netrunner]
I've had some great, platonic sessions with guys on here. I've noticed different trends on what platonic-seeking people do vs. ones who want more.
The platonic-seeking ones tend to write with full sentences and share a bit about themselves. Their profiles generally have some info as well. They're polite and often ask normal questions. Some may be nervous about making you uncomfortable or inadvertently overstepping boundaries. I feel like any guy who is worried he'll accidentally do something creepy is rarely creepy.
Like what others said, ones seeking more tend to use pet names (babe, hun, etc) and ask what you'll be wearing. They might comment on your appearance ("you're hot," etc), try to be flirty, or spam you with a ton of over eager messages. Every single one that has sought me out for more has been super short with their communication, often not using full sentences, and they share very little about themselves. Being extremely clear on my boundaries hasn't deterred them. If you want to avoid those ones, I'd turn away any that exhibit those behaviors.
@WarmFuzzler Me cuddle. Babe accept.
So you are saying charm of that magnitude fails to influence your decisions?
I agree women cuddler should get a picture ID. When you have their ID chances are they won’t don’t anything stupid since you have their information. Definitely a good safety precaution
@Cutencuddlysd
"I still get people who ask and I genuinely appreciate them asking before because it opens the floor for an honest conversation without judgement to let them know that I don’t provide those kinds of services."
If by who ask you mean them asking non platonic and sexual things, then they aren't supposed to be asking that to anyone on here. The rules are clear when joining and it is their responsibility to read, learn, and educate themselves on the platform they are joining. So I'd highly advise reporting such messages whenever you can. That's not really the type of thing to "respect them for their honesty" and let it slide, because it likely just makes them go onto traumatizing the next person. It's best to notify the moderators so they can take the actions they deem appropriate and be aware of the situation, so that if there are other red flags they can better protect.
@BoomerSpooner lol, that amount of charm may be too much for me to handle!
@BoomerSpooner
"I think women should clearly state their boundaries in their profile and then when exchanging messages throw a test question out nonchalantly to see if the dude read your profile. Like “What would you do with my breasts during the cuddle?” If they answer with something alluding to groping or kissing them chances are great they didn’t read your profile or ignored it. It also sets them up for a ban."
My response:
Although, I don't quite have the words to explain why right now, I'd really advise against anyone doing that. I can understand that your heart is likely in the right place, though I don't think that's a good idea. It can first of come across as a red flag for anyone to say. Imagine a guy trying to 'test' a woman like that and he says "what would you do with my balls", then later when he gets in trouble claims he was just testing or actually talking about his tennis balls, yeah, sure... he was. If it wouldn't fly there, I don't think it'd fly the opposite. Plus there are at times women who may be here for the wrong reasons and actually mean it, though maybe claim it was just a prank... I mean... * test * when they get in trouble. There's also another implication that I don't really have the words to explain, so I wouldn't * do that *.
Edit: PS. I think I found the terms I was looking for. Doing that may open the door to grey areas of potential entrapment, if one initates trying to turn the conversation to what could be perceived as highly questionable at best.
@WarmFuzzler YEP!! I've said for a while I can tell what someone is going to be by their first message even if it does contain a full sentence. The pattern just gets permanently stored in your head after a while. Is soooooo funny because people who are actually nice have a range of ways of communicating but the creeps are all the same.
@Lovelight it is not entrapment if it is clearly stated on the profile and then his answer is followed by her reply of you didn’t read my profile. There is tangible back up in the form of written rules on the profile and the obvious you didn’t read my profile as a follow-up to his response. The tennis ball analogy you used has no tangible back up other than the guy backpedaling and using a cheesy excuse. If the mods can’t discern the difference then all is lost on this site.
Same. I’ve been slammed with sexual requests, and I had one that even fondled me even when I told him to stop. This is horrible for platonic cuddles smh
@Tatsy as an outsider perspective: two out of three photos of yourself on your profile are more what I'd expect to find on a dating site rather than a platonic cuddling website. One of them you have a very slight, but sultry, smile, the other your whole body is showing in a tight-fitting outfit. I do think there is a lot that is happening that is wrong regarding sex work and the cuddle industry right now, the most obvious to me is: You can be a Sex Worker and offer Professional Cuddling Services on the side, then Professional Cuddlers are safe, on the other hand, there are many people posing as Cuddlers who are actually Sex Workers and that leads clients to believe that all Professional Cuddlers offer sex work, which we all know is obviously not the case. That being said, there are definitely male and female escorts on here posing as cuddlers, and I think they would probably have photos similar to yours, in order to be slightly suggestive to find their clientele, so if you are inundated with requests for extras I would consider trying a different approach with your social media. It's also important to remember that Professional Cuddling is currently in the place that massage was in the 90s "Oooooh you're going into a dimly-lit room with a stranger, you're going to take the majority of your clothes off, and they're going to rub oil all over you meanwhile nice music is playing... and it isn't sexual... riiiight." And that's where Cuddling is right now, a lot of people can't believe it's not sexual so it's a part of our role as Therapists to educate and inform and spread awareness that Platonic Cuddling is just that: Platonic. It's gonna be a long journey, and you will definitely have people contact you for the wrong reasons at several points in the future, but it will slowly get better, don't give up hope.
If you haven't already you should seek out and do one, or several, of the Safety Courses for Professional Cuddlers that many Platonic Touch Therapists who have been in the biz for a long-time offer. I always get a photo of Government Issued Photo ID before meeting and I think anyone with nefarious intentions would probably be deterred by that request alone. I also take their first name, last name, email and phone number. I also don't do same day cuddle sessions for new clients, I have an induction process and we share a zoom consultation before our first meeting, which is both for me to assess their needs and curate a better session for them and also so I can gauge their intentions. If they compliment my appearance, red flag, if they ask what I'll be wearing during a session that's an orange flag (maybe they're gauging what to wear) if they ask me to wear anything specific, red flag. I really recommend doing a safety course this work could be fatal if the correct precautions are not taken.
I certainly hope it exists!
@BoomerSpooner Profiles can be changed on the fly and it doesn't show a changed history with dates eithdr, at least not as far as I can see. So one can argue the profile didn't say that and regardless I don't think it's a good idea. You can say on your profile that you're x, y, or z, doesn't necessarily mean you are/aren't, or that you really conduct yourself as such. So someone can write on their profile how respectful they are and show up completely different in messaging or in person. Though, if you think your approach is a good idea, okay... I just hope it wouldn't potentially cause anybody issues.
@netrunner I wouldn’t say it is entrapment as that would be persistently asking if they would pay you for favors. Merely asking a hypothetical about what they would do if given the opportunity is equivalent to what a sting operation is—the opportunity is presented without pressure to answer one way or another. But I do understand why you do not want to go down that path and having to parse words. Point taken.
I just hope I don’t get @stormydaycuddle’s spleen surgeon!
@SnuggleBugFi
@Tatsy as an outsider perspective: two out of three photos of yourself on your profile are more what I'd expect to find on a dating site rather than a platonic cuddling website. One of them you have a very slight, but sultry, smile, the other your whole body is showing in a tight-fitting outfit.
There is nothing "suggestive" by @Tatsy 's photos. They are not revealing, nor suggestive in any way. The two headshots: one with a neutral expression, the other with a wide smile--are completely normal close-ups. The full body photo is just of her posing proudly next to her artwork. She is dressed in quite normal attire that one would wear out in public. There's nothing wrong with her photos.
Yep. There's plenty. Sorry you feel that way. Good luck.
"as an outsider perspective: two out of three photos of yourself on your profile are more what I'd expect to find on a dating site rather than a platonic cuddling website. One of them you have a very slight, but sultry, smile, the other your whole body is showing in a tight-fitting outfit. I do think there is a lot that is happening that is wrong regarding sex work and the cuddle industry right now, the most obvious to me is:"
I second, @TxTom 's comment, I don't think there's anything wrong with the photos of @Tatsy , and you might be looking at them with a magnifying glass. Even if she came across with like you said "a very slight sultry smile" that doesn't justify grown men being inappropriate toward her and not respecting the rules of the site they have joined. It doesn't excuse her having to deal with any of this and I don't think she should have to be micromanaged like that that she has to not come across with a "very slight sultry smile". I think that's almost expecting perfection from women, which I don't think is a path we want to be going down.
This thread makes me sad, I’m sorry that anyone has suffered inappropriate advances. It shouldn’t matter how anyone dresses or smiles in a photo. ☹️
@SnuggleBugFi 🤦♀️ you seriously think my pics are suggestive that I offer something else and belong on a dating website? A sultry smile? And me wearing long sleeves shirt and jeans is a tight outfit? 🤣🤣 what wrong with the body showing? I am pretty sure clients pick a cuddler based on their body type- some like to cuddle with petite people and some with people who have more meat on them. I literally could not have picked more innocent pics that that.