Does your skin feel different due to the way your melanin cells work or something
@RedFox16 😆😆😆
Last I checked my skin is just that: My Skin!😊
Your question is awesome, by the way. 👍
Now IF my skin looked all shiny like⬇️⬇️...
Silver Surfer shiny...😁😆
There seems to be an overemphasis with "skintone" here, when the guy said he wanted to cuddle with a "black woman." In other words, he may have just wanted to see what differences there may be in cuddling with a woman of another culture for the first time. It may not be politically correct to say out loud, but there are definitely slight differences between cuddling different races. For example, multiple white women have asked for me to play with their hair over the years, but that hasn't happened with any other race. That doesn't mean that there absolutely isn't some non-white woman out there that also likes to have her hair played with, but at this point I am willing to bet that the next woman I cuddle with that asks me to play with her hair will also be white.
It’s literally just racist. They’re implying it’s somehow different to cuddle a black person than to cuddle a white person. It’s not. Close your eyes and it’s the same damn thing.
Not all cuddle experiences are of the "close eyes and be quiet" variety for hours at a time. Sometimes conversation is an important aspect of the interaction, and can be affected by the different parties' age, race, background, occupation, city they grew up in, religion, etc. I am all for equality, but pretending that every single person in the world is exactly the same is not what equality is truly about.
O.M.G. @Katota ! It would be super awesome to have silver surfer skin! Or cuddle with someone who has legit silver metallic skin ...Ngl 😅😅 That's also pretty close to how pale my skin is Haha 😜
In that case, I'd have to say it would be more understandable to want to cuddle with you based on your skin....since the Silver Surfer is literally an alien with metallic skin and not simply another human with differently programmed melanin cells. 🤷🏻♀️ 🩻
Buuuuut I don't think she would put up with that type of fetishizing either, tho! 🤨 Esp since she's played by Julia Gardner in the new movie and that chick is a bad-a$$ 😎😜
I digress.... But that ☝️ is totally different than wanting to cuddle with someone based on the fact that you have different colored skin than they do! 🤔
multiple white women have asked for me to play with their hair over the years, but that hasn't happened with any other race
@ninjaturtle Lol! 😆 Seeing as I do wear wigs, I can bring down my whole collection for you to play with to your hearts content.😆😁
Or...One can ask questions while getting acquainted, cuz I am an Enthusiast not a Pro so acquaintanceship is required with me first, perhaps you can ask :
"Do you enjoy your hair being played with while cuddling?"
Which is a simple enough answer and a request and that can be happily granted on my end. 😁
I just won't wear a wig during said cuddle session. Simple enough. 😊
Though watching you play with all my wigs, would be hilarious entertainment for me. Lol 😆😆😆
I have been asked about receiving backrubs and other sexual favors in my inbox. 🙄 But no one has ever asked about playing with my hair while cuddling...😊🤷♀️
Though watching you play with all my wigs, would be hilarious entertainment for me. Lol
@Katota would you FedEx a bunch of your wigs over to someone to play with and then send back to you?
I didn’t read every single response although I did read many. I would add this:
You asked him a question. He gave you an honest answer, which apparently rubbed you the wrong way, and you’re certainly entitled to feel the way you felt, but I think the appropriate thing would’ve been to either just block him or if you wanted to have the last word and then block him that’s also fine, but I don’t think that it ascended to the level of reporting him. Doesn’t seem right.
Moreover, the fact that you are throwing this out to the community as a question if that’s OK or not OK is good evidence that you are second-guessing how much negative weight to put on it. And that’s to your credit.
All I would say is if it’s possible to retract your report I would probably do so - that seems like the fair and balanced move.
This whole thing is petty ridiculously actually. The site has filters for reason. If you want to cuddle a white, black, brown, yellow, fat, skinny, tall, short, religious, cat person, whatever, it’s your prerogative. You asked him why, a guy gives you an honest answer, and you report him. Silly
It happens to me all of the time, girl! 🤦🏾♀️ But then they get to know me and my warm personality and they usually apologize! 💜
@Midnight01 There's a cat girl working at one of the grocery stores by me. I just say hi and some small talk. she doesn't seem very approachable.
@Sooson try catnip
@lonelytauros LOL Thats brilliant wow. I think I will need to have a few before I attempt that,
@Katota Um, I don't particularly like playing with hair, but I'll gladly do it if my cuddle partner asks me to do it because I like to make people feel good/relaxed/more comfortable. Haha The point of me bringing it up was to illustrate that it's something that has only occurred during some sessions with white women.
@PajamaMama Love the sn! I also love the character development of the guy from seeing you as a novelty and attraction to an actual human being with feelings.
@RedFox16 Fetish is the right word.
@Katota False consensus effect. If you were silver though, I might start talking about marvel. I hope talking to you about Marvel is not like talking to an Asian person about Asian foods and your travels. lol
👍👍👍
@RedFox16 Yes, that is the point that I was making when mentioning Silver Surfer who isn't human and not from Earth. I can possibly see the "curiosity" in that regard, though still it wouldn't be right.😒😌
But doing it to another human, no that's just NO!😑
just block him
@WestsideMarc I did both actually. 😊Blocked and reported, just like I did with another one who answered the same question with:
"You have big tits, I like big tits."
🙄😌
Being objectified for my body parts has ran its course, especially in my inbox now.😌 So...Block and report it is, even if Dude isn't banned there will be at least a complaint trail for the next black woman (and IF she too gets offended) he wants to fetishiz....Uh, excuse me "curiously cuddle" with.😁
Moreover, the fact that you are throwing this out to the community as a question if that’s OK or not OK is good evidence that you are second-guessing how much negative weight to put on it.
Lol!😁 I knew what I was doing when I posted this discussion, and I knew of the responses that I would receive. Sorry, I personally don't see a "positive side" in being picked to cuddle cuz BLACK. OR being picked to cuddle cuz BIG TITS either.😌
Thank you for your comment just the same.😊
@Midnight01 Thank you for your comment, I shall add it to the "you should've been flattered, silly woman" category. 😊
Whoa wait a minute!!!
There’s a gigantic difference between the original curiosity aspect that should absolutely NOT have been reported vs someone commenting rudely on your body part which absolutely should be reported!
You are totally conflating the two and that doesn’t track very cool.
Moreover in the original post topic you even questioned it and said the exact words “good or bad?”
And then on top of it you even said “thats ok, he wasn’t the ….” and then you put some more lols in there. It doesn’t look like you were too bruised up about it and you yourself aren’t even sure how much of an offense it was.
What’s up with that?
You seem to be contradicting yourself quite a bit here. Perhaps just let this one rest. I’m out…..
It happens to me all of the time, girl! 🤦🏾♀️ But then they get to know me and my warm personality and they usually apologize! >
@PajamaMama 😁 That is wonderful that you are able to accept it lightly and possibly befriend such individuals. You're better then me!👍
comment removed [Shake]
Well, as a black woman , I am clearly an expert on this subject matter and what I say about it must be taken as absolute truth . Essay with links to come .
@Midnight01 @Katota does an awesome job of speaking for herself so I'm going to let her correct you as she feels fit . I will however say that I don't see any of that at all coming from her, not sure what you're on about , and you are a bit of a tool based on your post .
@midnight01It sounds like you are looking for attention
Clearly, I have yours.😜😄
oblivious to the fact that this isn’t a dating site
Never said it was...🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
Most men aren’t looking for personality traits
Obviously not...😌
just someone who they find somewhat attractive to have a quick cuddle with.
You're right, I'll try to be flattered next time. Okay?👍
Well, as a black woman
@Pmvines 😄😄😄 I knew you were a black woman the first time we cuddled. Lol!😄😄😄
@Katota Aha ! So you DID only meet me because you wanted to know what it would be like to cuddle a black woman . I knew it !!
@Katota Are you not a silly woman? jk
Also, I'm not racist, so others are not racist too. I'm also not offended ,so you and others shouldn't be offended either. The end. "Most men aren't looking for personality traits." Another example. Doesn't speak for me!
If nothing else, this thread is serving as a great red flag litmus test, though honestly none of the respondents have surprised me thus far. So thank you, @Katota , for providing the catalyst 🤣
A lot of folks seem to think that having a preference or curiosity for something automatically excuses there being an unethical basis for said preference/curiosity, or even the unethical behavior in pursuit of fulfilling it. Y'all know who else uses/used the same excuses? Serial killers, sexual predators, the KKK, and the Nazi party/neonazis are at the top of that list. They all "just have/had a preference" for singular traits based out of unethical origins, have strict checklists of individual human traits that must be met in order to interact, or are "just curious" to check off another trait of person from their bucketlist. Are they extreme examples? Yes, but those people didn't just crop up in isolation - their mentality of dehumanizing people down to the sum of their parts/traits started somewhere and exist on a spectrum.
And sure, not everyone who gets objectified hates it ...
But it could be argued that in a lot of cases that is because they have internalized the dehumanizing beliefs that have been projected upon them by others. The big difference is whether consent is involved, and clearly Katota asked the original question in part because she (like I and so many others) has been objectified repeatedly in the past and does NOT consent to interacting with people who do it to her. I also frequently ask the question as a filter as well, and it is perfectly reasonable for us to have hard boundaries around these beliefs and behaviors.
As for reporting it, mods and experienced site users have repeatedly stressed that it is far better to over report than under, as then mods can document it and see if there is a pattern of problematic behavior.
It's rather amusing (/s) that when someone follows that advice and mentions it publicly, they are suddenly criticized by others displaying those same behaviors. It makes me curious how many of the objectors here have similarly treated people as trait checklists and bucketlist items, but have managed to get away with it because the subjects of their unwanted attention didn't want to be judged or a "burden" for reporting. A report does not automatically cause a user to get banned - their poor behavior and choices causes that. The victim blaming is alive and thriving here, and it's the nearly always the same people voicing it. If only that were a reportable and enforced offense....
...Nazi party/neonazis...
Godwin's Law in less than 48 hours.
Y'all know who else uses/used the same excuses? Serial killers, sexual predators, the KKK, and the Nazi party/neonazis are at the top of that list.