...there are actually a kabillion different positive... discussion topics...
Excellent comment, @ninjaturtle !
This seems like the perfect thread to share this, so here goes....
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom 👃🏾🕺🏾
Carry on
@Pmvines Lol! Gotcha covered friend.😁👍
Careful this stuff turns your poop from brown to black.😄 Figured I'd just mention it is all.😄😆
@BashfulLoner Gotcha covered too! 😁👍
@MamaCuddleBug Interesting and I totally agree. People should own whatever label or name they want to be called. There's quite a lot of diversity and solidarity in that community according to what some of my friends told me. It's always interesting to learn about a different perspective.
@CharlieBear Hi Charlie! 😁
I thank you for saying that, and I hope you're doing well. 😊
<It’s also not your job to be their teacher .>
@MamaCuddleBug THIS^^^ 😁
No it is not.😏
Especially to someone past into their 40s with this kind of "logic", IF this was someone in their 20s maybe (and that's a big ass MAYBE 😒) I would have attempted to politely perhaps humorously corrected him... But after age 30 (and up) yeah, Dude should know better by now.😁😏
curiosity, I can't say it is either good nor bad due to the word in use, not something I relate to though. It isn't a sustainable model either. How many colours is it thought there is? Also it is limited by availability and willingness.
Dude should know better by now.
👆👆👆This. Learning stopped at some point earlier in life if you can’t distinguish objectifying from curiosity. Curiosity asks for consent to ask questions about somebody’s traits and culture while objectifying presumes consent and proceeds to tell the person the only reason they are talking to them. Sometimes it is best just to hug and find the differences are forgotten in a space of common humanity.
@BoomerSpooner bingo. Low social-emotional skills is rampant in adulthood here since we stop prioritizing it past adolescence. It's not surprising to see it in this community since low social skills tends to go hand-in-hand with trouble getting physical touch needs met, and lacking skills isn't a moral failing...but refusing to work on those skills, causing harm as a result, and placing the blame on everyone else is.
At least with each new generation we slowly seem to be figuring it out.
Hey hey what's with all this fussin' and fuedin' over here? Let's get some positivity going!
Everyone here NAILED IT. You NAILED IT, I NAILED IT, we all NAILED IT!
Let's have a round of applause!
Now who wants to join my metacule?
Whew attempting to read through all of these comments sent my anxiety into a tailspin! To answer the original question, personally I do not see it as something to categorize as blanket good or bad. It is all about personal preference. Personally, I would take the time to have a conversation with that person. So at the end of the day, it is possible that I would still cuddle with that person after coming to a conclusion after the conversation. Someone here commented that it likely was not politically correct to give the answer he gave, and I know I'm not always politically correct either. So I like to have conversation. If at the end of that conversation I do not feel like it would be a good fit or if I have weird vibes about it, then I likely will not continue to try to cuddle with that person. Do what feels right for you. If you're okay with how you handled the situation, beautiful. And I'm okay being a person who would have handled it differently. 💜
@jplemmon Here's some NAILS for ya!😄
@Katota any nails that aren’t white? I’d like to try darker ones 😂
Learning stopped at some point earlier in life if you can’t distinguish objectifying from curiosity.
@BoomerSpooner Yep!👍👍👍 There's difference between the two indeed.
See now, I'm curious to try bungee jumping into a bathtub full of lime green jello with pineapple chunks...While wearing a plaid colored tutu and a pool floating device, while Beethoven is playing LOUDLY in the background. Lol! 😁🍍
Yes, visualizing THIS^ is causing me to laugh as well.😆😆😆😆
However I am NOT curious to "try" cuddling with another human because skintone differences.😌
@jplemmon These are the DARKEST NAILS that I could find. Enjoy!😁😄
Do what feels right for you. If you're okay with how you handled the situation, beautiful.
I am very okay with how I handled it. Thank you for your comment! 😁👍
since low social skills tends to go hand-in-hand with trouble getting physical touch needs met, and lacking skills isn't a moral failing...but refusing to work on those skills, causing harm as a result, and placing the blame on everyone else is.
THIS!^^^😁👍
I recall being very shy and reserved in my youth, I even once brought a book (to sit and read) to kid's birthday party to avoid social interaction with the other kids.😄🤦♀️
Yeah, pre-tweenage years were a disaster. 😌Thank goodness, I only went through it once.☝️😌
But the older I got and the more openly confident that I became within myself, and yes there were some therapy sessions involved too😉, to get where I am today socially speaking. I'm proud, to no longer be "the kid bringing reading material" to parties and various gatherings (where casual socializing with others is the main goal) well into my 40s now.😁
there are actually a kabillion different positive or neutral discussion topics that can come up between a white male and a black woman
@ninjaturtle YES indeed, there are! 👏👏👏
I have had wonderful conversations with white men and white women about various different topics (here online as well as offline). And THESE white men and white women never felt the need (at least I believe they didn't at time of conversing with them😊) of bringing up skintone during said conversations and neither did I. We just talked to each other like...I don't know, uh like PEOPLE?😏😊
Of course some like Dude isn't a white man who unfortunately isn't enlightened (no pun intended😏) to the point of seeing black women as merely PEOPLE...yet!😉 And NO, sorry (not sorry) I'm not gonna be the 💫"magical black woman"💫 to do that for him, for I hung my wand up on that gig a long time ago (and with good reason too).😌😊
@Katota I know there are white people who have little contact with black people and I think that is sad but it is not on black people to educate white people about black people. I went to a predominantly black Jr high and high school so I was the minority in that situation and I was told early on by my black friends you learn about us the same way black people learned about white people—the hard way 😂😂😂. But you do learn.
I was the sole white kid on the wrestling team and they put press on letters on my uni before a match that said “Casper”. Like the friendly ghost. It was because I was so white in that uni. I thought it was funny. Coach did not, but I said I put the letters on.
I just treat others the way I want to be treated, that way I don't have to be "educated" about anybody.
Pretty simple, really.
I recall being very shy and reserved in my youth, I even once brought a book (to sit and read) to kid's birthday party to avoid social interaction with the other kids.
@Katota Oh, hello me 😅 I totally have brought books to social events lol. Now I'm more likely to just read on my phone as that's more socially acceptable these days
Not gonna lie, I've been traveling and then dealing with some severe depression, so I am coming in way too late to read this whole thread...
But @Katota, I read your initial post and just wanted to say I'm sorry you experienced that kind of objectification. Whether done for good, bad, ignorant, or fetish-related reasons, it sucks any which way.
I have received some similar comments or been approached in similar ways, as a "BBW", and though it is typically in a "complimentary" manner, it still feels icky to get attention based on something like your bone structure or build.
I think we all want and deserve to be valued and sought after for who we are, not some kind of demographic we fall into.
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
@Katota can handle it. it's not like it's the worst thing that ever hit her inbox (or in any female's inbox for that matter). She just wanted to bring the issue in general for discussion, that's all. it's just a message from someone that probably could have been phrased better, not some tragic or traumatic event that will result in PTSD.
I know there are white people who have little contact with black people and I think that is sad
@BoomerSooner Very true, and that is their choice just like there are black people who choose to not associate with white people on a social level (necessary business levels, sure but that's about it😉). I have also observed the same with Hispanics as well.😊
Honestly, most black people (aside from relatives and a handful of long-term friends 😄) don't socialize with me much either. To most black people, if I'm not seen as "black like them" they won't be bothered with me.😁 And I'm just peachy with that, because I would rather be black like Me, not them.😁
What I mean by "black like them", yes SOME black people in the world do indeed fit the stereotypes to a T. 👍 Yes they do, as I'm related to few of them.😄 And then there's the "weirdo black people" like Myself 🤪that fits some of the stereotypes but not all of them...For example, I have never spent one night in jail, and I don't smoke weed. In my neck of the woods, there are A LOT of black people who have been to jail/prison and definitely can NOT live without their daily weed intakes.😄
My sister is a total weed lover. 😊
Here are ways that I DO fit in certain stereotypes:
-Raised up solely by my mother, no father in the picture. Never met him.😌
-Utilize TANF/EBT/WIC programs, yes I definitely have at one point in time. Raising a kid is very expensive, so I did take all "government help" that I could get. Especially baby formula, that is expensive stuff!🤑
However, I also WORKED as I didn't just sit at home "living off Uncle Sam".😐 TANF checks weren't that much anyway, it was put towards gas or paying babysitters to babysit my son while I worked. 😁
-Yes, I do enjoy eating fried chicken. Lol!😄 I prefer Popeye's over KFC actually. 😋🐔
Another way that I may or may not "fit" into the stereotype stuff is...
That I was married to and impregnated by a white man, yeah a lot of black men seemed to "frown on that" for some reason. 😆😊
And many white men seemed "surprised" at that as well, many assumed when that my ex-husband is black...Or thinks that as a black woman, I should only procreate with a black man...LOL! It's crazy to me at times.😆
I don't know, I just shrug my shoulders and move along...🤷♀️😁
Fried Chicken Breast with Mash potatoes is one of my favorite meals. Thats also my go to dish at Cheesecake Factory.
I was told early on by my black friends you learn about us the same way black people learned about white people—the hard way 😂😂😂. But you do learn.
@BoomerSpooner Lol! 😆That is true, and yes you learn. But you also learn that no two people (regardless of skintones) are alike. And that people are more than their skintones. 😁
That "Casper" joke was terrible by the way, but thanks for sharing it.😌😊
Fried Chicken Breast with Mash potatoes is one of my favorite meals
@Sooson It's the meal of champions!🍗🥔😋
@TxTom 😁👍