@TxTom the internet, being anonymous, it’s easy to say anything without consequences. But good point, it’s better to take threats seriously so as to be prepared for counter action
If there is any question, there are not precautions being taken and that it’s not being taken seriously, that is definitely not the case.
The original account did have pictures that clearly show face and if there is still access to them, they should be provided to the meetup attendees
Whether the User shows up to the meet & greet or not, the User has already committed a crime.
@bobadevotee posted: "Would be GREAT if guys stopped being personally offended by women’s safety precautions and instead tried to understand why we take such precautions."
💯👏🏻🏆
@TxTom I'm super pissed by the threat, but to be technical, the person who PM'd boba didn't threaten physical violence, he threatened to attend an event he's prohibited from attending (in a threatening tone...but there was actually no mention of violence).
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
@SunsetSnuggles So what could be inferred by "let's see how tough you are"?
@TxTom Yeah, and I have the photos of both Op and the person I suspect it is.
It’s a volatile situation for everyone involved, especially people that were directly threatened. I would recommend letting the mods handle it and if needed the authorities.
@TxTom His phrasing, "You think you will say those things to my face? Come to the Norcal meetup and let's see." infers he doesn't believe she will say what she wrote, in person. His threat is to come where he's prohibited. If authorities broke down his words, I'm confident they would say no threat of violence was made. He literally said nothing about hurting anyone.
Again, I'm super pissed about the threat, and I'll be the first to set the cops on this guy if anyone else says they won't. I'm just pointing out the technicalities of his verbiage.
There were other comments made on the meetup threads as well, which have since been removed.
@CharlieBear I'm glad mods have their pictures. I've reached out to Mark regarding the fact that the average user doesn't.
@SunsetSnuggles I'm sure a judge could figure this out. This person may already have a record.
@TxTom That's definitely possible! 😬 I hope peeps take me up on the cop sitting at-hand suggestion. I've had it done for me before, and it certainly brings peace of mind to have them right there.
Whoever is making these threats - @deathwish or a poser...you should be ashamed of yourself. Be better than this. I'm not joking about seeing a counselor. I know you're reading this. Go see a counselor and work on your anger issues. This is an excellent book:
https://a.co/d/9Uaisrx
The legal threshold for a threat is actually quite hard to meet. Many statements that we can obviously infer are threats, hold no water in court. Source: every single damn time I’ve asked the cops to help me, and they’ve said “well that’s not legally a threat, call us if anything happens to you” or even worse, when I wanted a restraining order and was told “he needs to threaten/hurt you TWICE before we can do anything” My friend had the same experience when she was being stalked. Cops barely helped even when the guy came to her house and smashed windows… she had video evidence. Still barely a police response
Cops don’t really do shit to prevent crime. They might investigate after you get murdered 🤷♀️
@bobadevotee All I'll say is I would encourage you to file a report regardless. The message was threatening and he knows your whereabouts for an upcoming date and time. He may already have a record and be on parole. We don't know. But the catalyst for legal action may be the addition of your report.
Let the onus fall on the justice system.
.
@bobadevotee Yeah, exactly what I was trying to convey, regarding the technicality of his words.
I'm so sorry you've not experienced proper support and responses from cops, that is awful. Maybe location has been a factor? The cops in my town didn't have a lot of crime going on, so they were happy to come guard us when we felt threatened at work by someone.
I hope the cops in your sphere step up and have the initiative and resources to do the right thing, in the future.
Dude, I don’t have his real name or anything. You need a person’s name for a police report. I’ve filed a lot of them against violent men in my life. You need a name.
In the case of a stranger assaulting you, you need more information for a police report than a username online. A username that is clearly easily dumped and remade multiple times. It would be like reporting every single time an Instagram sock puppet account told you “kys”. Cops just laugh at that shit. They aren’t going to deep dive investigate online unless you’re someone extremely important
@SunsetSnuggles I mean, ACAB lol
I’ve lived many places. Cops suck all over. In crime heavy places, they didn’t do their jobs. In low crime places, I’d see them harassing people for fun (myself included!) with their free time
Okay, whatever. "ACAB" doesn't help, of course.
@TxTom i know you mean well by offering her advice, truly. I dont know if you have ever filed a report to the police before. If you have and it’s worked for you, that’s so great! But it’s not that simple. Like she had mentioned, just reporting this will not do a thing, especially because we don’t know his full name and only the mods have a photo of him right now. And even if she went and reported, absolutely nothing will be done.
Not only do we have no concrete evidence, we don’t really get taken seriously with cops. She mentioned going that route before and it didn’t do anything for her.
I’ve said on the forums before that I work for a utility company. My team and I are out in the streets and in customers homes every day. We have been threatened before and have had to go to the police. The same thing always happens, the police say the threat has to be something like, I am going to kill tou, I am going to shoot you, I am going to stab you etc but things such as what this person has said are always dismissed.
Anyone who knows a survivor of domestic abuse knows how incredibly difficult it is to get an arrest made—and that’s knowing the person. Unfortunately, the statement is vague and as @bobadevotee said, policing is very substandard these days. The best one can do is keep a record of these veiled threats.
ACAB for life lol. My friend’s dad is a retired police officer, and even he says ACAB. A lot of my friends who are veterans or active duty say ACAB. Because it’s the truth. 🤷♀️ anyways this is a bit off topic but yeah. Be aware that your advice isn’t very helpful. I’m very familiar with police and how they operate. I literally got raped by a guy, who admitted in writing that he knew I said “no”, and I even did my rape kit same day, turned in my bedsheets and everything so they had physical evidence of the crime plus the guy admitting in writing he knew I didn’t consent, yet the cops did nothing. Oh, and they never gave my bedsheets back! Bastards 😆
@bobadevotee I'm mortified that happened to you. The initial event, and the lack of results. You hold him, I'll stab him.
I’ve been on the internet long enough to trust everything a woman says when it comes to receiving harassment (or worse) from “just” a guy on the internet, because even from my non-woman perspective I’ve seen disgusting stuff.
My advice? When you (strike that — when we) catch yourself thinking things like “oh it’s just an anonymous person online” or “they’re not serious” or “it’s not that bad,” consider that whether you mean to or not that type of language is enabling the abusive behavior while at the same time dismissing the harm done as unimportant.
I saw some screen cap of some tumblr blog of someone quoting someone’s grandma and it really stuck with me & I think it applies here:
“The first thing you think is how you’re conditioned. The second thing is who you are.”
Folks, this dude is trying real hard to look mean and scary and absolutely is making threats, though none that would be able to be enforceable under the law. I've dealt with his kind way more than I'd like.
Ladies in particular, make sure your social media is locked down as he is stalking profiles on other sites. He sent me a screenshot of my Facebook profile as if to prove he could find me no matter what. If anyone wants advice on how to secure their accounts, let me know, as as I said, this ain't my first stalker rodeo.
@SunsetSnuggles luckily some community action made sure the dude will struggle to find a job or even show his face anywhere in that town probably for the rest of his life. Especially since I had SO MUCH EVIDENCE that at least 50% of people believed me. The other 50% though…
But back to the topic, please everyone be aware of how much info you actually need for a police report. This is why it’s so important for us all to have thorough vetting procedures and collect as much information as possible. A username on CC isn’t enough, and cops are more likely to try and mess with you and assume you’re a prostitute if this is the website you cite in your initial report.
@dude_man Took me a second to process that, but I love it. Yes, my knee-jerk thoughts are often a result of how I was raised, even if they don't align with my own morals, now. Thus, "the second thing you think" of, being a truer reflection of who you are as a person, and what you believe. Powerful stuff, thank you.
@cuddlefaery Ugh, yeah, there's a reason I don't have my face on this site, and 98% of cuddlers don't even know what part of Wyoming I actually live in, let alone my last name.
@bobadevotee What is with the cops & never returning anything they take? My friends place got turned upside down, and has still never gotten her laptop back. She wasn't even the suspect... It was apparently needed for "evidence" but the case is long since over. All those stories she was writing, gone for no reason. 🙃