I've received only creepy messages from men since I joined. Bar one message from a man who seemed okay but we were completely at odds personality-wise upon chatting. Any advice on how to find/meet someone respectful and compassionate?
Thank you.
@happimess73 I'm sorry you are having this experience. It's not you: there are many men in here who ignore the clearly stated rules on the site and in women's profiles.
Feel free to report anyone who is saying something that could be considered non-platonic or harassing.
Moderators will look at all reports, and we will take action if necessary. In some cases that action is a warning, and sometimes it's a ban.
Reports remain as a permanent part of people's record, so we are able to see patterns if they begin to emerge.
With all this said, there are respectful men here. It is my wish for you that you find some connections that are life-enriching.
@happimess73 Unfortunately you will hear from other women with the same experiences. And you clearly stated your expectation and boundaries in your profile. But as @JoyfulHeart stated—report offenders. I suspect there will be some women along soon to give better advice than I can on this but I do hope you find what you are looking for.
@happimess73 I hope you find more gentleman soon. They are on here. Not all are this bad. I wish you well.
Wish I had something useful to add but yeah, there are some very good people here. Don't give up just yet. Wish there was something that could be done to prevent creepy more massages but I don't know what...
Great screen name! Trust your gut. Hang in there.
@happimess73 I would suggest being even more explicit in your "about me" section of your profile.... something like "I AM ONLY LOOKING FOR PLATONIC CUDDLES, NO SEXUAL ADVANCES WILL BE TOLERATED." to help weed out some people you don't want to meet with. Also you may consider widening your "preferred age" range a bit.
And, be patient, there are some decent guys on here!
@happimess73 Do your own searches for who you want to cuddle. Make your boundaries clear. Listen to your gut and what they are saying. Good ones are out there!! Keep looking til you find a few.
@happimess73 it is not you. Unfortunately I think creeps prey upon people who are new because they are more likely to get away with it. I don't know that there is anything in particular about receiving nasty messages. The only pieces of adcive I would give is make sure to keep messaging on the site as long as possible and report them. The mods here are very supportive and do a great job of getting rid of offenders quickly!
Completely agree with @SeriousSnuggler . And if you do message off the site, don’t forget to use a number from google or apps like Text Free so you don’t have to provide your personal one. Keep those messages as well in case things go sour so you can attach it to a report.
So sorry this is happening. There are too many men on here who just can’t seem to be respectful. It’s unfortunate because they are clouding the ones who are actually serious about this site.
@JWestfall She mentions no sexual expectations on her profile.
@happimess73 No, it most certainly is not you.
Unfortunately, any social media site, regardless of stated intent of site, that draws from the public at large is going to attract creeps. There's no way around it except for enacting subscriptions, or just tireless vigilance in screening.
As I told another cuddler of mine who was new here and having problems with creeps, just give it some time. There are good people here. Don't give up.
And I'm sorry for your loss.
Here's my response on a very similar, recent thread:
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/comment/279005/#Comment_279005
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
@JoyfulHeart Permanent Record??? But my high school guidance counselor said that wasn't real!
@happimess73 you may find this thread helpful:
@Vocalist100 Is your guidance counselor here on CC? 😏😉😉😉
@JoyfulHeart Can I have my brass knuckles back?
@BoomerSpooner I think the school melted those down and had them made into third-prize Olympic medals.
@BoomerSpooner I know, and I wish that wording had been sufficient. But I recommend being more adamant about it. It's still not foolproof. @happimess73 I do wish you well in your search.
@JWestfall Yeah you are probably right with some of the thinking I hear from guys now days.
@happimess73 Anywhere with access to vulnerable people/situations will attract predators in droves. It’s not you!
I highly recommend having some safeguards in place to help weed out the baddies, but remember nothing is foolproof. Some predators are very smart and highly narcissistic and know how to say and do all the right things before meeting to give the illusion of safety until you let your guard down, and then the moment you’re alone with them it’s game over. Send me a PM and I can give you some recommendations I’ve learned to put in place that have minimized issues aplenty that have arisen.
.
I don't see anything wrong with your profile so I can only suggest you try reaching out to others if the inflow of messages is that bad and keep blocking and reporting those who seem or are off with their intentions.
Thank you, everyone, I am comforted by your supportive responses. I have since received some lovely messages. To those saying I should do my own search, I have done, but that doesn't seem to show much in the way of people near me. Anyway, I will persist as this site seems to be bursting with good people.
x
You seem wonderful! happy cuddles!