Why do Pro Male Cuddlers have so few clients.

BearBear
edited May 2024 in Pro Cuddling

This is a question. I'm curious about. I used to think it was because woman cuddlers have a lot of people they can choose from for cuddling and do not need to pay. Yeah I'm finding out that the ones they can choose from. Don't always come across as being safe.
So if you're a woman Why would you pay Or not pay for a professional male cuddler.

If you are a professional male cuddler, how has that been for you?

If you are a professional female cuddler, how often to you get female clients ?

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Comments

  • pmvinespmvines

    I would defer to man vs bear

  • BearBear

    @pmvines that has crossed my mind. Yet I wonder if being a professional would make them more accountable.

  • JubalJubal

    It's simple supply and demand.

  • BearBear

    @Jubal so you are saying there is no demand for male cuddlers ?

  • JubalJubal

    @Bear I'm saying that the demand is much lower for paid male cuddlers. The reality is that women can find plenty of unpaid cuddlers, man v bear notwithstanding. I don't recall the figures, but there's been other threads regarding the high number of male enthusiasts to female enthusiasts.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    There is virtually no demand for male cuddlers from women. But you might be able to find male clients if you want to try being a male pro cuddler.

    Why would someone pay for something they can get for free ?
    Sure they have to spend time screening a while but once they find a guy it's free for endless cuddling sessions.
    Could save you thousands of dollars in a year or two.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    I think the demand could be there, but there's a lot of work that has to be done for men first. Right now there's just WAY more demand coming from male clients specifically for female pros that it drowns out the few others seeking any other combo. Until or unless male clients are willing to hire male pros en masse, or people in general are more accepting of non-binary folks, the imbalance is going to remain the same.

    Most women hiring pros are less stringent about their gender - or, if anything they feel safer with another woman. There's always that fear that men will use being a pro as a way to have access to abuse and manipulate women at their most vulnerable. It's not dissimilar to how many women prefer to have female doctors, therapists, massage therapists, etc.

    There's so much potential there, though, for good men with healthy boundary skills to create safe spaces for women to work on their touch trauma tolerance and on practicing consent and boundaries. I truly hope that as men in general start to learn better social-emotional skills and start to open up more that things will start to balance out.

  • BearBear

    @jubal I understand there is a high number of male cuddlers, yet I hear they don't get picked either.

    I use to assume it was that women don't have to pay for what they can get free, yet I've heard more about them paying for females cuddlers. It's safer.

  • BearBear
    edited May 2024

    @cuddlefaery
    I hope it balance out more as well.
    Thank you for your response

  • [Deleted User]Elektra45 (deleted user)

    I'm very new here, but simply saying. I can go find anyone to go cuddle simply because I'm a woman is false logic. I DO expect a male cuddler to have some standard of behavior and I don't expect a non-professional to behave any particular way. These assumptions are why it's just easier for women to charge. And why I don't feel safe cuddling with non-professional men. I just opened my profile yesterday and I'm getting a bunch of messages from random men who are not even anywhere near my area. People who are asking me to meet up with no conversation. To meet them at times I have said I'm not available. Why would I do that. People who think I am supposed to say hello to them. It feels like I'm expected to accommodate SOMEONE else a stranger even though I not on here as a professional. Why exactly would I do that? This doesn't seem safe to me. I've been on here with this profile for less than 24 hours. This entire experience seems a little bit like a waste of my time and energy to me.

  • BearBear

    @Elektra45 I use to have that false logic. Until I started talking to some individuals and had my eyes opened. I appreciate your response.

    I Learned about Cuddle parties back in 2013 when I got on this site as well. I learned a lot about consent and such. I also learned to follow boundaries by doing energy work. Since I would always ask for permission before doing that as well as hand placement.

    At one point, I was thinking of becoming a professional since I believed I was good at respecting boundaries. When I looked into it a little bit, that's when I found out that they don't have that many clients. Plus, they have to pay whether they have clients or not.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Great thread with a lot of discussion on this topic:

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/18087/women-enthusiasts-how-is-it-going-for-you/p1

    Further reading from the Pro board:

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/10997/male-pros-how-has-it-been-for-you/p1

    I would never hire a male Pro on the basis of safety, for two reasons:

    • As we see with female Pro's, a Professional tag on a website that does no vetting and doesn't require any training or credentials does absolutely nothing to "prove" safety, professionalism, or lack of malintent. Any perv could get approved as a Pro. (Hopefully he wouldn't last long, though.)
    • Thus far, I've had great success singling out the safe ones on my own.

    Aside from safety, your initial assertion is correct. Here is an excerpt from my very long-winded post in the first thread I linked:

    @Drewski1138 posted: "What would you as a woman enthusiast look for from a professional male cuddler?"

    I wouldn't. No shade to male Pro's, but as mentioned above, 98% of the guys on this site want to cuddle us for free, so we have absolutely no reason to go seeking paid cuddles. I'm not saying I would never hire a male Pro. If I came across someone amazing and genuine, and I felt their rate was reasonable for the value I felt they might bring, yes, I would pay. But I would never seek one out. I have a fantastic group of male enthusiasts who I treasure.

    It's Sad

    I fully realize that this post of mine may anger men because it is the exact opposite of their experiences here. I'm being honest about the way it is, but I feel bad and guilty about it, truly. The cuddlers I just met in Utah last week can attest that I bemoan the fact that there are not more female enthusiasts...I wish that less of us would jump to Pro status. I wish that more people were here simply for friendship, and to share freely, rather than those who hear about this as a side gig and want to make money. These cuddlers I met last week told me they had Pro cuddles with women who admitted they don't even like being touched or cuddled. This is why men seek enthusiasts...they feel that. They know there's a wall there, they know they wouldn't be having those moments of platonic intimacy with those Pro's, without the financial gain. It's sad.

    Pro's

    And again, I am not at all saying that all female Pro's are that way, or that they're only in it for the money. I've met some absolutely fantastic female Pro's who I adore. Some of them are regular posters on this message board, and that's one way you can tell who genuinely cares...do they put effort into the community? Those are the ones I look up to and appreciate! Also, some Pro's here have worked very hard to make this a professional, genuine business, to garner training and certificates and to be the best cuddle therapist they can be for their clients, which I think is amazing. Men can also feel that difference, and they will go back to those ones, again and again.

    Much love to the genuine people out there, Pro and enthusiast.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • JubalJubal
    edited May 2024

    @SunsetSnuggles you're speaking the truth - nothing that anyone should get angry about

    ... yes, I'm all too aware that truth is not popular and DOES get people angry ...

  • [Deleted User]natickben (deleted user)

    I'll say man v. Bear specifically (the couple of times I cuddled a man, each man immediately tried to make it sexual, including nonconsensual groping, etc.)

    But ALSO as men we are broadly trained to believe that men are not nurturing, emotional, connected-and in fact that these traits in other men are suspicious even if we see them in ourselves. Socialization is a hell of a drug.

  • KuddleKinggKuddleKingg

    Simple. Consumer demand

  • [Deleted User]zerogone40 (deleted user)
    edited May 2024

    I'm sure they exist, but as people have said, supply and demand rules everything. For a lady to get a gent is easy. For a lady to get the one is as difficult as it is for a man to get one at all.

  • Will564Will564

    @natickben

    While I’m not happy that happened to you, I am happy you shared it. I am open to cuddling men and women, and I’ve gotten a number of messages from men. Sometimes they don’t have pictures and none of them have any karma. I may be pre-judging too much, but I’ve yet to feel comfortable even attempting to start anything for that reason…especially with the vibe from the messages I got.

    So hearing your experience kind of re-confirms my caution.

  • BearBear

    @natickben @Will564

    I have had men here ask to sit in a hot tub with out a shirt and other such stuff. So I haven't agreed to cuddling a man here.

    When I cuddled in a group atmosphere. I never had a problem with other men who wanted to cuddle. The ones there were more respectful.

  • [Deleted User]CuddlerGirl33 (deleted user)

    I agree with Elektra45. As soon as I signed up, I began getting very aggressive messages from men located far from me. One individual demanded to know why I wouldn't respond to his messages and then created a new profile and demanded to know why I blocked him.

    As a woman who has experienced domestic violence, any behavior that feels threatening immediately causes me to cease communication. Personal boundaries are one of the reasons I am a cuddling enthusiast to begin with. I will not be bullied into cuddling with anyone.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Jubal
    Thank you. 🤗

    @natickben
    I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope you reported them. Should you choose to cuddle men further, I hope you find safe and platonic guys who are respectful.

    I'm curious, if you're comfortable sharing, whether they were listed as straight, bi, gay...? Also if their messaging seemed off, or just friendly, beforehand. No need to answer if you don't want. 🫂

    @Will564
    It's actually surprisingly comforting to hear from a man, that he's not comfortable/feeling safe meeting the men who approach, here, either...even though you're open and willing. It says a lot, and feels validating to have a man see and experience what the women here often talk about.

    I hope you find good, friendly guys, in the future!

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • [Deleted User]DulceLuna (deleted user)

    @Bear , Female Professional cuddler here! 🙋🏻‍♀️ I would pay for a male professional cuddler... mainly due to the "manvsmen" thing, but also because I want a professional experience. 😅 I know that might sound a bit strange for some people but, as a professional cuddler myself, I understand the types of "modes" that are necessary to be in (mentality & physically) to do good for a client.

    I still haven't had a female client yet :( but I'm hopeful it will happen. 🤞🏼

  • LadyVelLadyVel

    As a female pro, so far I have not had any women clients.

    @Elektra45

    even though I not on here as a professional

    Maybe I am misunderstanding what you wrote but your profile is marked as a professional? 🤔

  • [Deleted User]DulceLuna (deleted user)
    edited May 2024

    @Elektra45 I hear you. It's exactly the reason I went Professional. 😒 But even as one I still get the random message asking for other things... or to lower my fee. 🤦🏻‍♀️

    But I will recommend not to give up or get discouraged by the bad apples!! 🤗 You do get to converse (and sometimes meet) such wonderful individuals in CC, and the connection wouldn't have been possible without this page.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    Why buy the cow when the bull is going to chase you around?

  • [Deleted User]simsaddict (deleted user)

    @pmvines very well said! ✨

    Honestly, it’s kind of the simple factor that exists with dating apps: Men swipe on almost everyone to get a match whereas women have the luxury of being selective.
    Before I joined cc, I was on a variety of dating apps to find someone that could give me what I was looking for(part time attention when I want it with full time courting)
    The amount of dates I went on with people who were solely interested in me physically rather than my intellect or personality was comical because I didn’t even have to talk. Men would suggest us to go out if it meant there was any chance of physical affection.

    I am grateful to have realized I can choose from a theoretical platter of suitors instead of just accepting what is offered.
    And that’s sort of how it has been in my experience with cuddling. At first, I was swamped with messages but because I don’t desire physical touch as a normal, I can be selective in choosing my clients in booking sessions. And that’s what I do.
    I rarely accept booking sessions because I don’t need the money but I enjoy it from time to time. It’s sort of a weird thing and I’m not looking to boost my reputation by any means here. 😂
    I just abide by this idea that it’s easy to get what you want from men-case in point, I would download dating apps to receive attention and validation when I craved that.

    And I don’t mean it to sound crass. But it’s my personal experience that I’m sharing to maybe help the male audience understand why the supply and demand are polar opposites for men and women.
    It’s just the same theory of dating apps, simply.

  • [Deleted User]simsaddict (deleted user)

    And also, in response to my comment-I joined cc on the recommendation of a friend to heal my aversion to touch.
    I had gone through some horrific things and recognized I needed to heal.

    I don’t recommend using dating apps for internal validation 😆
    Or even this site for that. I think this site has helped my own narrative with finding internal peace in my own skin

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    Why are there fewer women in stem? Why are there more women teachers than men teachers? Sometimes, that's just the way it is.

  • CatolineCatoline

    @DulceLuna As someone who likes cuddling others girls, I still don’t pay for pro service very often. If I can’t find someone free on this site, I just go to a non-heteronormative venue and ask the first girl who talks to me. If I have trouble with that or I’m extra lonely, there’s always a guy excited to cuddle before I think about paying a pro. They always push boundaries, but it’s free. It might help that I’m gender inclusive.

    I messaged a couple pros to see if they cuddle girls for free, but I get the feeling they’re too inundated with male clients for that. If you put something on your profile about a discount for girls, you might get more hits, but they have to be looking first.

  • [Deleted User]1_teddybear (deleted user)

    If I took the time and expense to go through the Cuddlist training, or any other organization that would confer some level of credential as a trustworthy cuddler, would women think me worthy of being a pro? Now much does a vetting or certification really matter?

  • [Deleted User]DulceLuna (deleted user)

    @Caroline_Cibey thank you for the recommendation! 🤗 I will add a special rate for females to see if that would be an appealing option.

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